/** Strap yourselves in, this one's gonna get...mean. */

There was a slight pause as Lilac slowly stared at Surgeon, "...Well? Where was all this familiar from, then? Did you...do something, or..."

"Give me a second..." Surgeon hummed, tapping his screwdriver to his chin, "I'm sure I've heard of this before...OH! Yes! Day Trip #79!"

"Day Trip #79?" Carol asked, a single eyebrow raised in suspicion, "The heck?"

"Well...let me explain," Surgeon said, rubbing his hands together before clearing his throat, "Ahem. Right then. It somewhat goes without saying that I am a frightfully busy man sometimes. Sometimes I'm saving the universe on my own in my TARDIS, sometimes I'm helping the No-Zone track down some poor schmoe who ended up in the wrong universe...but other times, I'm in this other world. SH-230. The Travellerverse."

"Travellerverse?" Lilac asked, scratching her head, "Why does that sound so familiar?"

"Eeeeeeh..." Surgeon shrugged, "Ever since The Event, a lot of Lilacs have said that. Probably a runoff effect of what ole' Markus got up to in the OLD world. Mmmm hmm."

"...Mr Surgeon, sir?" Milla asked, concerned, "Are you sick? Are you feverish? Because you are not making a lot of sense."

"No, I'm a Time Lord," Surgeon sighed, "We're just kind of like that 24/7. Well, all the good Time Lords are. ANYWAY, Travellerverse! It's a world overrun by these evil aliens who killed a lot of the population, and a lot of what's left is in little pockets around the world. Before they were nearly wiped out, these guys tried to create something based off of the Ultimate Lifeform...which, ironically enough, is what led them to this whole mess in the first place. My friend, Markus Pederson...he's one of the few remaining results of those creations. And sometimes I'm there, to help guide him and Azima along."

"Azima?" Carol asked near-incredulously, "The chick at the perfume stand?"

"...Yeah," Surgeon said, "Sometimes the No-Zone is kind enough to cover for the two when it comes to the whole 'defending the whole world from evil' thing, so I sometimes take the opportunity to whisk them away to another universe for a sort of...holiday, as it were. I guess Day Trip #79 was in FP-084 and I never noticed. Well, we sort of didn't know, at the time. The only one of the three of us to know you were in a wheelchair was me. The trip was in FP-084, in Shang Mu, for a bit of a shopping day. I let them mess around while I stayed in the TARDIS to actually get some peace and quiet, and...well, I suppose they ran into you as well. I THINK I told Traveller about you, but...I can't remember. I think he told me all about it."

"But we ran into him," Lilac shrugged too, "So, let's see if I can remember myself..."

===-===
Now, where was it even stationed? Ahh, yes, the Mayor Mart. Should have been Mega Mart or something along those lines, but Mayor Zao was being...well, Mayor Zao, and asked for it to be changed to Mayor Mart. I guess in hindsight it was a LITTLE out of place in our world, but I don't think anyone was really going to complain all that much considering the alternatives. The Mayor Mart was basically a big old warehouse in the middle of the city, with all sorts of spaces that Zao called "parking". It was MASSIVE, nearly the size of his own palace in fact, and the inside was covered from top to bottom with shelves containing all sorts of stuff! Food, clothes, toys, gadgets, even furniture! I never really figured out why so many people would need all that in one place, to be honest.

S: 'Signs of a sort of transitional phase, maybe? Perhaps exposure to the No-Zone has started to make things a bit more Western again. Those things tend to happen when the No-Zone's in town.'

C: 'Well tell 'em to stop. I don't exactly want our culture ripped away. I can get away with a lot more this way.'

S: 'You mean, sleep all day and steal all night.'

C: 'Yeah! ...Well, I used to, at least.'

Anyway, me and Milla had gone inside the place. When I had got my perfume, sprayed a little on me for good measure of course, Milla quickly piped up and told me that we had to take a little detour to the Mayor Mart. Carol had given her a sort of list for some stuff we needed for the house. Nothing major; just some meals, some new clothes, some ear-cleaning buds, parts for Carol's bike...and the note said that I had free reign to get ONE item from the store. Like, anything I wanted. So, of course, I was gonna go for the biggest, most impressive, most expensive gift I could hope to find! I took the time to stare at the warehouse we were in - top to bottom, white walls and paved yellow floors, with metal shelves holding everything you could really need - food, clothes, toys, cosmetics, medicine, everything! There signs above each corridor, showing what was where, and all around people milled around to the sound of tinny music. It was...kinda odd, actually. I mean, I knew this thing was here for a while, but I just got all MY stuff from stalls and markets, the "traditional" way. Then again, being in a non-traditional condition probably got rid of my rights to do this any other way, so...

"Wow...look at all this stuff!" Milla cooed, her eyes full of wonder and stars, "When did Zao build this?"

"Eh, a while ago..." I shrugged earnestly, "Thing's been here for a while. I guess I kinda forgot it was here. They sell everything here, I think. I wanna see what that entails. Plus, I'm looking for...something."

"What're you looking for?"

I paused a little. Milla's question actually kind of threw me for a loop for a few seconds. She was just staring at me, with her little sparkling eyes. Clearly, she was expecting me to say something AMAZING. Well, good thing I knew exactly what we'd ALL want. I cleared my throat, making sure to milk the moment, "...A sushi-making kit."

Milla then proceeded to produce the loudest, most shrill gasp I've ever seen her pull off, as she pulled both hands close to her face and here became literal stars, "...ohmygoshyes"

"Heh heh, that's what I thought," I chuckled, arching up and trying to tussle the little dog's hair...to little success.

M: 'Oh yeah, I remember that. She managed to just paw at my hair. *giggle* But then she...fell back into her chair.'

Yeah, that was fun. Not a reminder of my lack of legs, nope, no siree. I sighed, head clasped in my hands and I rubbed my temples as I waited for the now familiar feelings of uselessness washing over me, "Just...let's look for one, okay?" Milla nodded silently, starting to wheel me forward into the chaotic mishmash of people in the warehouse...market...whatever. Dodging in and out of the people, still looking at me with a sense of amusement or confusion or even fear. Like I was some kinda alien, some thing drifting through the aisles. I know, I guess I should've known better, I should've gotten over it by now...but I couldn't. It was only mere days after the incident. Even then it was a dizzying, fizzy whirlwind of events and circumstances and people from all angles. The only thing that anchored it all for me, it was...Carol.

C: ''Awww, that's nice.'

She and Milla took me in, understood me when no-one else would...but it wasn't enough. It didn't feel...like it was enough. Their smiles and their hugs weren't enough to stave off this feeling of uselessness, of being a freak on the fringe of society because my legs didn't work. It didn't matter how many times people told me otherwise, every vacant stare from some random guy who didn't know better...it hurt. It hurt as much as something like this could. I almost felt like I wasn't in my own body anymore, people were looking at me in THAT kind of way. I arched my head low, kept staring at the ground, waiting for the people to grow bored and go back to their own thing. I don't think Milla noticed, with only a quaint, "Hmm" signifying that we had reached the sort of aisle we were looking for. It was covered head-to-toe in cooking products - egg mixers, microwaves, coffee machines and more, all sorta jumbled together on the shelves.

"This is it. Now we just gotta find one..." I said aloud, causing Milla to nod silently and start scanning the shelves with a sense of determination I hadn't seen of her for a while. I looked too, scanning up and down the shelves, through the people just milling around in the aisle, searching earnestly for the item of my desire. Finally, on the top shelf at the near back, I found it; The Sush-ee 5000 Sushi Making Device, its box large and square and plastered with a calming blue wave pattern. I turned to Milla, "Look, I see one up there..." and pointed up to the top of the shelf, "I...can't reach it, though..."

"Oh yeah!" Milla cried out, "Don't worry, I can fly up there, no problem. Lemme just-"

"I can get it for you..."

We both stopped, turning to see who was speaking to us. Someone had approached us willy-nilly and was now standing near us, awaiting our response. He was...not from this planet, I could tell. Body-structure-wise, he was a bit like Azima, being taller and slimmer than a lot of us and with a head structure with a single eye attached directly to his muzzle. I remember he had some...uh, really, uh...beautiful purple eyes, fair-ish skin and chocolate-brown fur. He had his quills in a sorta, uh, two-step style, with two large spines with another set coming off of those. He wore sunglasses, indoors for some reason, and had a silver ring in his ear.

S: 'Oh, he remembered that, did he? Sometimes he forgets to put that ring in. Not that it means anything, but...'

He wore really strange clothes, too. A black shirt and pants, red belt, blue boots with red laces and a large blue trenchcoat that covered all of that. Around his torso was a bandoleer, to which a scabbard was attached. It was empty, though. Then again, considering the kingdom's rules on carrying weapons in public, perhaps that was for the best. Oh yes, and he wore fingerless gloves and a sorta handkerchief with a red and black pattern on it 'round his neck, I remember that too. I actually kinda remember that he was pretty funny-looking, even for the standards of Shang Mu. I was sitting there, thinking to myself, 'This guy a performer or something? Street Magician? Conman, maybe! He looks like the kinda stuff Carol reads in her trashy action hero novels!'

C: 'They're not trashy! They're ART!'

I tried to signal to Milla to stay away, just in case this guy was dangerous, though all that REALLY managed to do was cause me to arch out of my chair vaguely towards her direction. The person stopped slightly, as if slightly hurt by my assumption, and stopped in his tracks. Milla, however, ignored me completely and rushed to the front of this guy with stars in her eyes, "Wow! You look like an action hero!"

"Well, heh heh..." the person blushed, scratching the back of his head, "Shucks. That was nice of you to say..."

"Just who are you?" I asked, wheeling myself forward so I was between Milla and him, "What do you want?"

"I...just want to help you get that box," the person shrugged, "I mean, I overheard you talking about it and something I want is up there too, so..."

"...Oh," I said, lowering my defenses, "Oh, I...uh, sure. I mean, you okay with that? I mean I could Milla to fly up and..."

"No, please. Allow me."

The person walked over to the shelf where my sushi making...thing was. It was the very top of the shelf, a very tall shelf at that, next to an egg whisk cleaning kit and a retractable spool of wire. He jumped up, grabbed the latter, then the sushi maker and hopped down the shelf, landing with a clunk on the tiled floor. He walked back over to us and gave the sushi maker to Milla, tussling her hair with a smile on his face as she giggled and put the maker into the basket she was carrying. He knelt down to my level, "There you go."

"Thank you, sir!" Milla chirped, bouncing up and down.

"Y-Yeah, thank you..." I whispered, feeling a little stupid, "Say, s-sorry for assuming you were gonna...I..."

"What, you thought I looked a bit dodgy?" the person asked, to which I ashamedly nodded. His face twisted into sadness for a bit, but then it untwisted back in a small smile, "Eh, that's okay! I mean, I'm kind of more prepared for combat than day-to-day stuff, you know? Being overprotective, I assume?" I nodded again, "That's fair. A little cutie like that on your side, you gotta be careful."

C: 'That's not creepy at all.'

"Oh, where are my manners?" the person sighed, stretching out a hand to shake my own, "Name's Markus Pederson, but people just call me The Traveller."

C: 'Really? It's a CODENAME? Now that DOES sound like one of my stories!'

S: 'You have to remember, Markus comes from a world very different to this one. VERY different. Perhaps I'll show you one day. Combat is kind of all he's known - The Traveller being his codename because that's just what he heard for a while. Didn't know his real name until he met me...and even on my end it was a bit of a guess...'

I too kinda had a strange reaction to that. What a stupid name, on both accounts. Sounded like something from...well, you get the idea by now. I tried to make sure my face didn't screw up into something resembling a face of confusion and simply cleared my throat while Milla looked on, entranced by this guy and his...uh, quirks. I took his hand and shook it, "I'm Lilac. And this is Milla."

"Hi..." Milla giggled, waving.

"Lilac, huh?" Traveller asked, "As in, Sash Lilac?" I winced; I didn't like using my full name for introductions, never mind how he just knew what my full name even was. I nodded nevertheless and his face lit up like a tree, "Oh wow! Sash Lilac! Friend of mine's told me a lot about you."

"Wait..." I said, eyebrow raised in suspicion, "Who'd that be? And how'd he know that?"

"Well, uh..." Traveller paused, scratching the back of his head, "I'm...not sure I could say that..." he glanced at me, at the sour expression on my face, clearly untrustworthy of his words, "Uh, but rest assured! He is a fantastic guy, and a very smart one too!" he stopped, unsure of what else to say. We stared at each other for a good while, an awkward cough escaping his throat, before he cleared it, "Well...yes, smart man. So...I've, uh...heard about your...condition."

"Who hasn't?" I half-jokingly asked.

"It's really bad..." Milla whined, "They say that she can't use her legs anymore! And they won't tell me why!"

I froze on the spot. Maybe I should've told Milla about my actual condition, what it meant, how it'd affect me. It wasn't exactly a choice I quickly mulled over, I mean I took a few days to reach that. I was sitting on the couch, Carol comes in and we have a sorta discussion about it. She asked me, hand placed on my leg as a form of comfort, if Milla should even know the full story. I mean, I wasn't exactly hiding PTSD from her, my condition was obvious. I guess...I guess I didn't want Milla having to bear my burden of my condition. But at the time, I didn't fully understand. And I was the gal who was shot in the first place! If I didn't understand...no-one would. I sighed and said clearly that Milla must not know. Or, at the very least, she should find out on her own. But I was certain to let that come naturally. I.e., not from this guy's face. I cleared my throat and lied, "Well, it's one of those things that can be sorted out. We'll find a way."

"Well, if you say so..." Traveller said, scratching the back of his head, "I guess all I can say is, well, get better soon?"

I almost kind of laughed at his naivety, as if my own conviction of my condition being incurable was any better. I simply nodded and smiled in a fashion along the lines of fake, "I will. Thank you, Mr Pederson."

"You're welcome, ma'am!" he chirped, a grin on his face and saluting me in the most dorkish way possible. He stood like that for a good couple of seconds, before suddenly jumping like he'd be stung by a wasp or something, "Ah, shoot! I need to get Azima's, uh, makeup stuff! I better bolt. I'll see you around, yeah?"

"Goodbye, Mr Traveller, Sir!" Milla chirped, waving to him. He gave a short wave back and catapulted himself down the corridor, turning like a stunt bike at the end and rushing left towards the makeup and hygiene aisle. I breathed a sigh of relief - I wasn't really sure if even he knew it, but his words came across as...insensitive. Innocently so, I mean I knew for a fact that he didn't mean any of it, but it still came across as misunderstanding my condition...a bit like everyone else in the city, come to think of it.

"Lilac?" Milla asked, slowly approaching me from the front, "Are you okay?"

"Me? Okay?" I asked, not sure if I was truthful in saying so, "Sure, I'm okay. Why?"

"Well..." Milla whined, "You're crying..."

I stopped, wiping at my eyes and staring at the stain on my glove. I was crying, ever so slightly but still crying, only now could I feel the tears in my eyes and that lump you get in the back of your throat. This all felt...wrong. People staring at me, Carol looking like she close to done with me, Milla worrying for me, and then this guy comes in and happily states to get well soon. Even though...that's impossible! Even the No-Zone didn't feel like it wanted to HELP me...just prolong...this. To say it was getting to me was an understatement, but I couldn't let Milla know. I sighed and mumbled, "I'm fine...I promise."

"Lilac..." Milla whined, "You would tell me if something was wrong, right?" I nodded, "...Is there something wrong?" I shook my head, "...Okay...should...should we get going?"

I nodded, "Yeah, that sounds fine," and she started wheeling me off towards the produce section to get some ginger. If...if only I knew that someone was looking at me through those horrible cameras they had everywhere...had some guard on the other side...relayed all this to tonight's entertainment.

Lilac's expression and mood had taken a turn for the worse after this, her lips trembling and her eyes watering as they did in her story. She was softly hugging herself, and had squirmed and moved until she was close to falling out of her wheelchair. Carol reached down and picked Lilac up, carrying her bridal style towards the sofa and sitting down on the sofa, still carrying her in her arms. Lilac nestled into Carol's arms, breathing and blushing heavily, seemingly calming a small amount.

"You okay, Lil?" Surgeon asked, "You've got that...look in your face again."

"I think I know why, too..." Carol sighed heavily, stroking Lilac's hair, "We're getting to...Joke Night."

"Joke Night?" Surgeon asked.

"Joke Night..." Lilac sobbed a little, "Everything went wrong on Joke Night...I don't wanna remember. I don't wanna remember..."

"Then don't..." Carol kissed Lilac's forehead, "I'll remember for you. I can explain this to him, if you want..." Lilac nodded, "I thought so. What d'ya wanna do? You wanna get some sleep? Or some fresh air."

"Fresh air..." Lilac whimpered.

"Okay..." Carol soothed, "Milla? Could you go give Lilac some company outside, please?" Milla nodded solemnly, slowly taking Lilac into her chair and wheeling her outside. The soft creaking of Milla walking on the floorboards got quieter and quieter, until it stopped outright. Carol sighed heavily and turned to Surgeon, "You want a drink? Coffee, Red Leaf Tea...some scotch, perhaps?"

"You don't drink," Surgeon reminded her, "You CAN'T drink."

"Won't stop me sometimes..." Carol sighed, "...Oh, okay, I'm gonna have some coffee. You?"

"Uh, same please. Black, no sugar," Surgeon nodded quietly. Carol nodded quietly and vanished into the kitchen to make some coffee for the both of them. While waiting, Surgeon turned out to see Lilac and Milla outside of the window. They hadn't gone far, just enough to not overhear Surgeon and Carol talking in the other room. Milla was playing with Lilac, playing pattycakes and giving her hugs, which Lilac was quietly, but happily returning. Surgeon shrugged a little; one would suppose it was to be expected. The events had literally only occurred one or two days ago now. Just because he saved her from wheeling herself off of a cliff didn't mean that all that built-up anger and grief was gone for good. Perhaps she was just REALLY good at hiding it...perhaps for her own safety now...

"Coffee's ready!" Carol shouted, bringing in two cups of black coffee. She placed them down, alongside a small carton of Zao-branded Milk, doubtless from the supermarket shopping that Lilac had mentioned mere moments ago. She placed herself down in the chair opposite Surgeon and took a small sip of her own coffee, "Mmm...good stuff. So...Joke Night. Where the actual heck do I even begin with that...can I swear?" Surgeon nodded, "Thank you. Where do I even begin with that shitshow?"

"Well, at the beginning of the night," Surgeon suggested oh-so-helpfully.

"...Yeah, sure," Carol sighed, "Well, you'd probably be wondering where I was thorough all of this. Well, after my time at the spa, which admittedly helped a good amount, I met back up with the two and we went through the rest of Shang Mu's shops together. We tried on clothes, we gorged on sushi, we drank bubble tea until we felt sick," she lowered the volume of her voice to a guilty mumble, "Worth it, though..." and then back to normal, "And by the time we were done with all the shops, it was finally time for the entertainment! I picked out a real good branch to spend the last hour or so of the night. The Crystal Club."

"Sounds fancy," Surgeon said.

"Heh heh..." Carol chuckled and scratched the back of her head, "It was, yeah. We only got in because of our credentials from Zao himself. After all, he didn't know we were still on the run from Neera, so we were kinda still his ambassadors, or whatever Lilac said we were. I...can't remember. I think we all did, you know? We just needed to warn the Magister from Brevon's attacks...fat lotta good THAT did. I bet his stupid castle is already on fire."

"Probably," Surgeon shrugged nonchalantly.

"Anyway, The Crystal Club was this biiiiiiiiiiiiiiig place! It was fulla tables and chairs with red cloth over them, tons of fancy food and drink, it even had live entertainment! Tonight was a world-famous and beloved comic, stand-up...guy. Called himself TeaHea, but most people just called him Zahl, his real name. I guess he kinda got into trouble once or twice for his strong views, but no-one seemed to mind. I never understood it, myself. This guy said some REALLY horrible stuff...and everyone just sorta forgave him."

"Sadly a very specific multiverse constant," Surgeon sighed miserably.

"But...what he did to Lilac...the things he said...the jokes he made! ...Look, let me start from the REAL early beginning..."

===-===
Welcome to The Crystal Club! That's what it said on the doorframe, anyway. It was quite cool, really. All those reds and wood and metal things coming together. Never thought I'd be able to ever come here, not while I was still in my Red Scarves duds. This red scarf, all of the things it tells people...you know?I mean, I kind of DREAMED that we'd come here one day, with my bestest bud and the cutest pup you'd ever see. Yeah, I said it. But, I never thought I'd actually get the chance to eat with all these fancy folk, you know? Drink some fancy booze among the elite.

S: 'Huh. And here I was, thinking you'd hate that. All the dresses, the fancy talk, the strange wine from every corner of the globe...other versions of you would doubtless hate that.'

Well, not really. Visiting Mayor Zao's palace was one of the greatest moments of my life! And even if I hated it, I'd still put up with it, if Lilac got a good night out. You can't comprehend the nights we spent in the Red Scarves, sleeping rough under bridges, eating the most basic trash we could find. It wasn't the best life out there, of course I wanted something better! I just...didn't want all that pointless glitz that came with it. Anyway, uh, the place, yeah! The inside was beautiful, like I said. The inside was coated head to foot with red velvet; on the walls, on the floor, even on the tables! Talk about a classy establishment. All these tables were set up everywhere, with flute glasses set up on all of 'em, while little carts of grub came whizzing around everywhere! It was REALLY cool, and it was almost worth the eye-watering costs to see Lilac's glum ol' face light up like a neon sign. Milla's, on the other hand, went up like a Supernova!

"WOW!" Milla screamed, jumping up and down like the little kid that she was, "It's AMAZING! Look at how fancy this is!"

"I know," Lilac giggled, her face beaming and her chest audibly aflutter, "It's...it's beautiful! Thank you, Carol!"

"You're welcome," I sighed, feeling really proud of myself, "Well, should we get going? Dinner and a show's coming our way!"

Keeping Milla restrained and on her lap, Lilac nodded as I wheeled the two to the reception desk to get our table. Table No. 84, it was."

S: 'How fitting.'

Indeed. With a spring in our...uh, my step, we made our way our table. Despite the high number, it was quite close to the stage, a good leap and bound from one to the other. That's gonna be important in a bit. I sat myself on the leftmost chair, facing the bar on the right of the building, while Milla took the rightmost chair and Lilac wheeled herself into a spot facing the stage at the end of the hall. Amongst the candle lighting from the...well, candles on the tables, Lilac's face was softened from the flames. She had even done her hair up a bit to look a bit more fancy, to blend in a bit more. She...*ahem*...she looked really cute, actually. There...i-isn' anything wrong with that, is there? A girl thinking another is cute?

S: 'Oh Galifray, no. In fact, as far as some people seem to think, it's the better way to approach it. If you find Lilac cute, nothing wrong there.'

Oh thank The Great Dragon. I thought I was going...well, mad. Me, liking Lilac like a girl would like a boy, I...I mean I...can I tell you something? I love her. I...love Lilac. I love her, a lot. I don't why, I just...was it guilt? Was it because I abandoned her to die and it resulted in...this? Was it because we've known each other for so long, I know Lilac like no other? I don't know, and it's driving me insane! I...

S: 'It's okay. These feelings are natural, and you are still young. Just...take them at your own pace. Perhaps this ties into what happened here? On Joke Night?'

...It did. I'll get to that in time. I've got a few more things to mention first. We ordered our drinks - Lilac got a cola, I got a coffee, Milla some juice - and we began to wait for those as we studied the menus. We'd already eaten, so we weren't looking for anything overly expensive or massive, just something nice and small to pass the time before and during the entertainment. I took a single look at the dang menu and nearly fainted from the shock! All that money for such small dishes! How could this be legal?!

S: 'Well, one would think that you would know.'

...Okay, good one, I like that one. But still! Nine crystals for a single bowl of chips?! Seriously?! Thankfully, we managed to scour through the menu and talked with the other patrons to help out with picking something out. I think we picked out a large bowl of nacho chips to share, only came out to about...12 crystals? Jeez...a-anyway, as we waited for THAT too, we chatted among ourselves. I remember...I remember all of the horrible blank stares we both shared. Like we both knew we were at the end of our own ropes, but we didn't have the strength to tell each other. it was like...I could tell with Lilac. No matter what, no matter what we did, her mind raced back to her legs. About how useless she felt now. It made me angry, i-it made me sad...I wanted to help her so bad, but I felt so on-the-edge. I felt like I could snap back and ruin things at any point, from the sheer stress of it all.

Thankfully, our food was served before we could get too distracted about Lilac's legs again. We weren't there to mope, dang it, we were there to have fun! We each took turns eating a chip from the bowl, dragging it out and dipping it in the guacamole and chomping down with that lovely crunch...mmmmm, lovely. Much better than any nacho chips we had eaten for a LONG time! I think Milla REALLY enjoyed it, seeing as her tail was going into overdrive whenever I saw it. Lilac was also enjoying it, with a bigger smile on her face than I was used to. It was AWESOME to see her finally having some fun, even if I could still see something troubling in her eyes. I mean, a nice moment, ain't it? Three girl friends, sitting around enjoying luxury and eating nachos. It'd be a shame if some pompous, hateful, ugly, stupid creature decided to mess it up!

S: 'Let me guess, Zahl?'

...Yeah. And Neera. And Zao.

S: 'Please, go at your own pace. Take your time, if this is hard.'

No, no...I gotta get this off of my chest. It was Neera and Zao who turned up first, I guess. You know Neera, right? I know for sure I don't need to go over her looks, right? Panda? Purple robes, cold and disapproving stare? I see a nod, great. What about Zao?

S: 'Yeah, I know him. Little short bloke, wears clothing so loud he could render everyone around him blind AND deaf!

...You know, I was gonna say I hope there are no blind Lilacs out there, but...well, there is. Is there a Deaf Lilac, or something?

S: 'No...not yet, anyway. Let's hope it isn't for a while, at least.'

Anyway, you're aware of both, great. So, in they come, like it's no business and suddenly the music in the background is stopping and everyone is bowing before them like they're gods or something. Well, everyone except us, of course. I didn't care that much, Milla probably didn't understand and Lilac...well, Lilac couldn't even if she wanted to. Which she did, I had to stop her getting outta her wheelchair and everything. Zao I remember chuckled nervously, "People, people! This is really a nice gesture for me. But really, there is no need. Nothing special about your leader coming to see a show!"

"It is but a nice gesture, my temporary master," Neera droned, looking about the room with a squint in her eyes, "A formality that some among us have not partaken in..."

That was us. That was very much us. It was only here that I remembered the whole, you know, having to run away bit? Yeah, and it didn't look like she was happy to see us. I sat in my seat, sweating ALL of the buckets, trying my hardest not to be seen by her. I shivered intensely, freaking out inside, praying that she would never notice us, despite how obvious we were. In fact, as the murmur and the bustle of the area started back up, I slowly sighed, hoping this would mean things would get back to normal soon.

"Phew..." I sighed, "That was a close one!"

"Yes..." came Neera's voice from right behind me, "A pity."

"...Oh, dang it!" I growled, twisting to see Neera's disapproving stare from the back of my chair, "Alright then. Wanna get the cuffs, or you gonna inflict a little police brutality?"

"Carol!" Milla called out.

"Spare the gibbering," Neera growled, crossing her arms in an irritated fashion, "I'm outside of my area anyway, I couldn't arrest you if I wanted to. Even though I do. Besides which, you'll be pleased to hear that the Magister has looked into that metal your shellduck friend supplied. It checks with what he was saying, so the Magister has deemed you innocent in this circumstance..." Neera's grimace worsened as she approached my face and invading my personal space, "Although between you and me, you still resisted arrest, broke out of jail and struck an officer. So the moment you step foot into Shang Tu territory, I'm gonna get you."

"Neera, Neera, please!" Zao chuckled nervously, grabbing Neera's shoulders and slowly edging her away from us. My heart stopped beating like some sorta jackhammer 'bot for a bit, before Zao turned back to us, "Now is not the time for petty grudges. We're here to have fun!"

"Why're you even here, Neera?" Lilac asked, sitting deep in her wheelchair, "Shouldn't you be acting on this groundbreaking info? You're not Zao's bodyguard."

"I am for tonight," Neera huffed, "Magister's sure his normal troops can handle it, sent me over when Zao mentioned he was going for a show tonight. Call it a peace-supporting gift, as Zao himself has put it. To repair relations."

Zao jumped up and down in a twisted sorta pride, "Indeed! So, what brings you three here? Did your neutral party thing work out?"

There was a pause between the three of us on our table, not at all sure nor willing to respond to any of this. I mean, we couldn't tell them that Brevon had the gem, Torque was MIA and his forces were being repelled by some space cops, could we?!

S: 'Alternate Universe Police, Carol. Technically the No-Zone Anti-Paradox Action Response Team. Or APART, for short. I came up with that.'

Whatever! The point was, we couldn't tell them, could we? But then...then Lilac spike up, "I'm gonna be honest, no..." she sounded like she was struggling to get the words out, can't say I blame her, but she seemed determined to get the truth out, "Neera attacked us and..." I tried to shush her, but she continued, waving her hand around the table to refer to the three of us, "We were split up in the crossfire. I ended up running into Brevon, and..." She choked back a sob and finally finished, "Smashed part of my spine. Paralysed from the waist down."

"Oh my!" Zao gasped, "How awful! I'm so sorry that my little excursion resulted in injuries like this! Had I known, I would've called in some of my own force!"

"A nice gesture," Lilac replied humbly, "But trust me, Brevon isn't the kind of guy you can take down with what we've got."

"Well I'll look into this Brevon guy, and put him to justice for this!" Zao boasted proudly, before almost instantly changing tact, "But for now, I'm gonna enjoy my night out! It's Zahl tonight, isn't it?"

"Yeah!" Milla said happily, tail wagging, "I hear he's really funny!"

"Well, depending on personal tastes," Zao shrugged happily, "He's trying something new this time, he told me. Wanted to take his comedy straight from the streets, from a guy's daily life! Even asked if I could help him with it. And I thought ooh, that'd be a BIG honour for both of us, so I said yes!"

"What..." I asked, feeling a pang of fear in my gut, "What did you do?"

"Can't say," Zao's voice went temporarily sing-song, "Gotta keep the secret~"

"We best be getting to our table," Neera said, "Come, master. This way..." the two set off for their own table, thankfully far from where we were sitting, but she slowly stopped, sighed heavily, and turned back to me, "I...offer my condolences to Lilac's paralysis. May she get better soon." And then, she turned to follow Zao to their seats.

I growled in response, but Neera did not stick around long enough to hear me being REAL unhappy with her. Now I'm not a bitter gal...okay I am NOW owing to all this, but even at the time I was a bit angry. Yeah, angry. I guess my reasoning was that...well, it was Neera. She had just go through threatening me with a long stay in the dirtiest prison in Shang Tu should I ever set foot within it again, and THEN she turns to the person she actually hates and wishes her goodwill?! 'No!' I thought, '"How dare she, of all freakin' people, feel pity?! It's NEERA! She's probably faking it too, the panda witch that she is'. Perhaps I was just angry...or maybe my clairvoyance was telling me of just what was gonna happen next.

S: '...Probably anger.'

Yeah, probably anger. Anyway, the crowd was slowly hushing up, and I belted up too. Someone had approached the stage, and then clambered onto it. I don't remember his name or how he looked, but I do remember that he took a bow and then said the following;

"Ladies, gentlemen, people of ALLLLL ages! May I be ever so excited to announce the arrival of the King of Comedy himself, Mr Albert "TeaHea" Zahl!"

There was a loud, roaring applause from the audience, and me and the girls clapped and whooped alongside them. There was a heavy clomping as a second person came onto the stage, stopping with a wild flourish and a rose thrown somewhere into the audience. Mr Zahl had arrived. He was...uh, a jackal? Gee, I'm not even sure. Not even sure what a jackal is supposed to look like, really. He was really dark-furred, almost a sorta dark grey, with a snout with white fur around that and these really deep blue eyes. His hair was very wild and unkempt, like mine on a bad day, and he wore this really tacky green suit. And pants and dress shoes and a bowtie and all that stuff...wait, that wasn't just you, was it?!

S: 'Oh heavens no! Ever seen a Time Lord do standup? You'd pass out from the pain of it all soon enough!'

Well anyway, Zahl was really eager to get on stage, it seemed. He bowed also, and clapped his hands together in anticipation. He spoke, with this really deep and almost sleazy sorta voice;

"Thank you, thank you!" "Welcome to the show! I say, let's get on with proceeding as quickly as possible, shall we? Can't take this slowly and stupidly. We're not ALL hedgehogs here, are we?"

The joke was met with uproars of laughter from the crowd. Granted I REALLY didn't get it. Like...what's a hedgehog? Anyway, I decided to be nice and laugh along in a fake manner, while Milla seemed to actually enjoy the joke and giggled along. With the tone set, Zahl set to work. The jokes went on for a good hour or so, starting off slowly, but then getting funnier and funnier. Don't remember any specifically, I...try to forget Joke Night, but people were howling with laughter every step of the way. Even I was starting to get into it, I gotta admit. There were all laughing at these stupid, stupid jokes and I was laughing along with 'em, in between mouthfuls of Nachos, obviously. Soon, however, his shtick wound to a close. Lights were dimming, food was scarce and I was feeling full and happy.

"Thank you, thank you!" Zahl chuckled, bowing again, "Now, for the final part of my sketch tonight. Here, I'm gonna be taking the daily problems I've seen people get into, and joke about them. Let the daily struggles melt away with laughter!" Several shouts of encouragement rang out from the crowd, Lilac included, while I just sorta held my breath in a fearful anticipation, "Great, let's go! Ahem. Now, what about car radios, ey? Not the normal ones, nah, I mean those weird ones from cars that came from the Hermanic areas, you know? The ones that try to be cute and clever that look like the gearstick and then they put them NEAR the gearstick! What use are those things? What if you mix them up!? You're driving along and Zao's charity song comes on and next thing ya know you're parked in the middle of the freeway!"

Another roar of laughter from the crowd. Even Zao laughed at that one. Neera didn't, though. I mean why would she? It was Neera. Lilac was very amused by it, clapping along and chirping out, "Funny as ever, Mr Zahl!" that was really drowned out by the roar of the people. My response was a little...less refined.

"Yeah, woo! Go Zahl!"

"Heh, worked on that one all week!" Zahl chuckled, "Alright, folks! Let's kick it into high gear! Now, has anyone ever noticed that our level of tech is a bit, to put it politely, battynuggets?! We're using ancient mystical energy and robot people alongside VHS tapes and ceremonial armour! I mean where's the logic in that? What are our greatest scientific discoveries recorded on? Like' Ey Mike, I've managed to to discover a new element!' 'That's fantastic! 'Ere, let me quickly jot it down on the flint!" He mimed chiselling something into a wall, then paused, "DING! DING! DING! ...Dang it, made a spelling error. Anyone got some tipex?"

More laughter from the crowd, with Lilac once again being reserved, while I was just getting a little bit too into it. Lilac giggled, "This is great, more please!"

"Yeah, more! MORE!" I screamed.

"Ooh, eating out the palm of my hand..." I heard Zahl mutter under his breath, "Ooooh yes. Alright, people! Time for the big ones! Here we go! Now then, supermarkets. Now don't worry, I'm gonna go somewhere with this. See, okay, I get the point of them. They're big places to sell lots of stuff at lower prices for the common folk. 'Shelves stacked to the sky with value', they say! Except...they're kind of literal. Those shelves go on forever, VERTICALLY. I mean it's fine if you're able to stand on two legs and climb. Unless you're a dragon with no legs stuck in a wheelchair, then even hopping won't get you nowhere!"

Across the hateful guffaws of the audience, I heard Lilac's heart shatter in two. I laughed, ever so slightly, before I realised just what was happening. It was Lilac! That freak was joking about Lilac! She uttered a little whisper, "...W-Wait...what?"

I wasn't far behind, "Yea-WAIT WHAT?! NO!"

Both our emotions began to run high, but Zahl continued, "Heck, I came across a poor widdle dragon in a wheelchair, you know. Poor girl was pointing to something on the top shelf in the supermarket and said she wanted a boost. So I gave her a chocolate bar and sent her on her way!"

"C-Carol...what's he..." Lilac stammered, slowly losing composure. I saw her...I saw her hands shivering despite the warm tones as she lost grip ever so slightly on her wheelchair's handlebars. And all the while, people were still laughing at the joke, looking towards Lilac and laughing some more! Did they find this funny?! Did they find my girl's suffering funny?!

I lept up out of my seat, "ZAHL WHAT'RE YOU DOING?! STOP IT!"

"Nah, little girl, I'm on a roll!" Zahl chuckled, "Unless you wanna come up here, have a spine and a half to beat me. Hell, you NEED that extra half of a spine to stand up straight!"

Another hateful roar of mocking laughter poured from the freaks allllll around us. They never stopped, only pausing to eat some stupid shrimp or drink some stupid champagne, and then resumed their chortling. Desperate, Lilac wheeled herself forwards, slamming into the stage at high speed and throwing her onto it without the wheelchair. She crawled, pitifully, towards Zahl as the laughter increased. She crawled over to Zahl and got into a sitting position, "STOP IT! You can't just make jokes about that, about me! About what I'm going through! I've lost all feeling in my legs! I'll never walk again! You don't understand how this all feels..."

"Yeah, but..." One of the those in the crowd...S-SPOKE UP- "It's funny..."

FUNNY?! IT WAS FUNNY, WAS IT?! THOSE YELLOW-LIVERED COWARDS SHACKED UP IN SOME RITZY HELLHOLE EATING FISH CRAP AND DRINKING GLORIFIED ALCOHOLIC SPARKLING WATER! THEY COULDN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT IT WAS LIKE BEING IN THE RED SCARVES AND HAVING TO-

S: '"CAROL! Please, calm yourself. It's okay, it's okay, I got you. Just breath, breathe in...and out. In...and out. There we go. Better?'

B-...B-Better. I-I'm sorry I-I didn't know what got into me. It's just this...this event. Joke Night! The nerve of these hypocrites to think the suffering of someone was funny! Just because she was a Red Scarf! Just because she was different! Still, at least someone came to our defence.

"I say, Mr Zahl!" Zao got out of his chair, red in the face with anger and disgust, "This is very out of order! This isn't funny, it's just laughing at someone with less than we have!"

It didn't take long for Zahl to turn and respond, "What? It's not like you didn't help me find the perfect joke or the such!"

"But this isn't funny!" Zao roared furiously, "Oh, I knew I shouldn't have let you look over the cam footage in the city!"

I turned to Zao and shrieked, "WHAT?!"

"I'm sorry!" Zao threw his hands up in near-surrender, "He asked me for footage so he could see what affects people on a daily basis! I didn't know this was going to happen!"

"Ahh, come on, kid!" Zahl batted at Lilac in a mock-joking manner, "Laugh at the pain! Laughter is the best medicine...well, sorta. I doubt you'll regrow your spine even if you laugh like a simpleton. Though considering your reaction to all this, you never had much of one to begin with, so having it shot through is barely a loss!"

More laughing, more mocking, more EVERYTHING. I couldn't take it, angrily blaring out what I think was supposed to be speech to get them all to stop. To DEMAND them all to stop. But nothing. Lilac, stuck on stage, could only scream out to the braying crowd, "No! Stop it!" she screamed louder, but nothing, "STOP LAUGHING AT ME!" She stopped, cowering in the face of the crowd, shielding herself with her arms, so close to crying, "Stop laughing at me..."

Finally, I don't know where, but I snapped. My hands balled into fists so hard that I dug into the palms of my hands with my own claws. My eyes glazed over and alllll I could see was red. I was unthinking, almost completely consumed by this rage. I gritted my teeth, screamed, "ZAAAAAAAAAHHHLLLLL!" and bounded towards the creep with the speed of Lilac's Dragon Boost. Then suddenly WHAM, I collide with the man and knock him to the floor. I body slam his chest, get to my knees and then start beating the crap outta him! Punching him this way and that, over and over, spreading teeth and blood all over the stage floor. The crowd was gasping and screaming for mercy, but I didn't hear it. Any of it. All the while, I screamed, "YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY, HUH?! YOU THINK HURTING OTHERS IS FUNNY?! WELL HAVE SOME OF IT, YOU SICK CREEP!"

"CAROL TEA, STOP THIS NOW!" Neera got up on stage, trying to wrench me away from Zahl's half-beaten body, "Or I will have no chance but to-"

"SHUT UP!" came my mindless response, elbowing Neera in the mouth to another round of fearful gasps from the crowd and continuing to whale on the man, "YOU SCRAP OF GARBAGE, I'M GONNA MAKE SURE YOU REGRET ALL OF THIS, YOU HEAR ME?!"

"Jeez..." Zahl coughed up blood and a single tooth, "Can't take a joke, can you?"

I silenced him with a final punch to the face that caved in his nose and knocked him out cold. I was gonna continue to go to town on his body, but Lilac screamed, "Carol! That's enough!" I stopped. I slowly turned to see her, fear in her eyes, "You gotta stop! I think...I think he's had enough."

I calmed, if only ever so slightly. My vision returned to a gruesome sight; Zahl toothless and unconscious on the floor, my hands covered in his blood, more blood and teeth scattered across the floor, and Lilac lying on the stage, her face a wreck. I slowly, angrily got to my feet and walked over to Lilac, "Had enough?! Assholes like him can never have enough! Not with the things he JUST. SAID!" I paused, seemingly only for dramatic effect before, "...We're going home."

"But, Carol-"

"I SAID WE'RE GOING HOME, DAMN YOU AND YOUR STUPID CRIPPLED LEGS! I've had it up to HERE with how useless you've become! You ran off to fight Brevon, ALONE. And then you ended up just trusting THREE psychos, Lilac! THREE! It's a miracle they didn't snap your neck there and then, with how dangerous that would've been! I've had it, Lilac! You were crazy to abandon me and run off, now look at you. Confined to a wheelchair, the butt of a joke, WORTHLESS! I...I..." And then it allll came crashing down. I stopped, trailing off. What did I do? What the hell did I just do?! I screamed, I shouted, I...I called her worthless. I made it sound like even I was giving up on her. I saw her face. It didn't even twist into a crying sneer, like I thought it would. Instead, it went totally blank. No expression, except a small frown. Like a part of her just died inside. My insides went cold and my brain went haywire as everything was processed, "Oh no. No. Nonono! Lilac I'm sorry I didn't mean that. I didn't mean ANY of that! I-"

"Just take me home."

"...What?"

"Go on then!" Lilac screamed bitterly, "Take me home! Get these freaks away from me!" She pointed to herself, "GET THIS FREAK AWAY FROM THEM!"

"But-"

"Carol...please..."

"...Okay..." I whimpered, so suddenly terrified and saddened. I got to my feet, grabbed Lilac and slowly put her back in the wheelchair, "W-We'll go home. I'll make us some sushi, we'll have some coffee, make sure all this is forgotten, alright?" Lilac said nothing, "I said, alright?" Lilac still said nothing. My ears drooped "...Oh boy..."

I grabbed the wheelchair, slowly quickly and quietly trundled Lilac outside and down the street towards the bus stop, Milla in tearful pursuit. The crowd, deathly silent since I stopped whaling on Zahl, sprang back up again.

"You Red Scarf freaks of nature..."

"Look at you, beating the teeth out of that poor man!"

"Even if the joke was in bad taste, that's no way to behave. Did you lot get raised in a cave?"

"Get out of here, you savage! And take your stupid crippled friend with you! None of you are even welcome here again! EVER!"

The night was...was cold as we trudged towards the stop. Even my copious amounts of fur did little to combat the cold, but I didn't care. The last bus back to the valley was ready to go, so I wheeled Lilac over as quickly as possible, screaming at myself. For everything; for losing my temper, for attacking Zahl, for screaming at Lilac...if I knew what my outburst would lead to, I...I-I...

S: 'It's okay, Carol. You've gotten this far. Take your time.'

Th-thank you, thank you. I got onto the bus, turning to look at both girls. Neither would look at me anymore, not after that. I could only barely hear Zao and Neera run out of the club and yell from outside the doorway.

"...Oh no. I didn't mean for all of this! I gotta apologise!"

"No. These girls are criminals, Mr Zao. They must suf-"

"Oh SHUT UP you miserable old buzzard!" Zao had snapped at Neera, and began to bound down the cobblestone path towards the bus, "Hey! Come back! I'm sorry!"

But I refused. We only got on the bus and started the long, silent trip home.