Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or anything related to Glee!
A/N Sorry for those who I disappointed with the last chapter, hopefully this chapter will make it up to you! Thank you for the reviews, I really appreciate them. You are all so kind! Keep them coming please! It really helps me write faster!
Chapter 9
Santana sat in her car, replaying in her head what had just gone on upstairs in Rachel's room. What the hell was wrong with her? Now that she knew Rachel was definitely into her, why didn't she just go with it? "Shit!" Santana exclaimed as she hit her steering wheel with her fist. She really ruined things now and had no idea what to do about it.
Once again she found herself driving to Quinn's house. She needed to talk to someone before she went insane.
"Santana?" Quinn said, surprised that her friend would be at her doorstep this time of night. "What's wrong?" Quinn was concerned as Santana looked like she was about to cry, and Santana Lopez did not cry.
"I messed up. I need to talk. Can I come in?"
Quinn stepped aside and let Santana in. "Did you get into a fight? You're limping."
"No, that was from practice today."
She grabbed the Latina's hand, "Let's go to my room to talk in private."
Santana flopped onto Quinn's bed in a dramatic fashion that she had no doubt learned from Rachel.
"What'd you do?" Quinn asked gently, not wanting to provoke the tears that were formed in Santana's eyes.
"I kissed her, I couldn't help it. We were supposed to be studying and next thing I know, I'm kissing her. When I'm around her, everything is just easy and I'm actually happy, not just pretending to be happy. Then Rachel admitted she liked me and wanted to know how I felt. What did I do? I completely freaked out. I told her we were just friends…just friends!" Santana shrieked.
"First off, calm down Santana. You are acting as dramatic as Berry normally does. If you couldn't say you liked her back, then maybe you don't," Quinn said logically.
Santana wiped away her tears with the back of her hand. "That's just it, Quinn, I do like her like that. She's the first person who has actually made me feel something, but I'm terrified. She accused me of hiding who I am behind the Cheerios and liking my social status more than her, and I didn't say she was wrong. I didn't say anything. I just left."
"Santana you know you're going to have to do what makes you happy, not what you think everyone else wants you to do. Besides, you know the Glee club will have your back no matter what."
"Yeah, but what about the rest of the school? We couldn't protect Kurt or keep him at our school. We couldn't stop the bullying."
"Santana, as much as I hate to admit it, you're higher on the popularity chain than Kurt ever was. With him being gay on top of his already low status, he never stood a chance. You are co-captain with me and we rule this school. I don't think being gay is going to change that too much. People are scared of you, now Berry on the other hand, that's what's going to pull you down. You know what? If you truly want to be with her, then you can't care what other people are going to say about you. There will be people who will talk, I'm not saying there won't be, but I bet you'll be surprised at how much the good will out weigh the bad."
"I'm so scared, Quinn," Santana whispered though her tears.
Quinn gathered Santana into a huge hug, not used to the Latina being so vulnerable. "It's going to be ok, I promise."
"It's not just that I'm gay, Quinn. It's telling my parents, it's…it's Rachel Berry. Out of all the people in school, I want to be with Rachel Berry."
"You can't help who your heart chooses to want Santana. Look at me, I went through Puck and Finn before finding Sam and being really happy."
"What if Rachel doesn't want me anymore after the way I acted tonight. I don't know if I can handle that. I don't even know how to apologize or try to win her affection back. I'm so used to being sought after, not doing the chasing."
"Santana, you know the way to Berry's heart just as well as I do."
Santana nodded, she knew exactly what she had to do.
XX
Rachel checked her phone, hoping that there might be a message from Santana, but there was nothing. Sighing, she wondered what Santana was doing and where she had gone. You're so stupid, Rachel! she yelled at herself. You just had to push Santana to talk, and now you have pushed her right out of your bed, and possibly out of your life. She turned to look at her alarm clock,it was too late to call Kurt, it would have to wait until the morning. She tried to get comfortable, but the reoccurring thoughts of kissing Santana kept playing in her mind. Now that she had finally admitted her feelings for the beautiful girl, all she wanted to do was be with her.
Santana-please come back and talk to me, we can work this out im sorry I pushed you-little di
Rachel stared at her phone, hoping Santana would answer, but she never did. Taking that as Santana's final answer on the situation, Rachel cried herself to sleep.
XX
The next day went by in a blur for Rachel. She had no idea how she even made it from class to class. She never once caught sight of Santana, and wondered if she even came to school. For the first time in her life, she didn't feel like going to Glee, but went anyway. She took her usual seat in the front row, looking around for Santana, but she wasn't in the room.
Santana stood outside the choir room, debating whether or not to forget this and leave. She gripped her guitar case tight to keep her hands from shaking.
"You have to go in the room, Santana," Quinn said walking up behind her.
"I can't do this. I changed my mind."
Quinn put a reassuring hand on Santana's shoulder. "Look, if you don't go through with this, you're going to regret it. I didn't help you practice all night last night for no reason." Quinn gave her a friendly push towards the door. "Go ahead, San, go get your girl."
Santana tried to force out a smile. "Thanks, Quinn, I really needed to hear that." She took a deep breath. "Well, here goes nothing."
Rachel's eyes immediately went towards the door when she saw Santana and Quinn walking in. Her eyes widened in shock when she saw that not only was Santana coming in with a guitar, but she wasn't wearing her Cheerios uniform. She looked absolutely stunning in a blouse and short skirt. As upset as Rachel was over everything that happened last night, she couldn't help but check Santana out.
"Does Santana have a twin?" Brittany asked, clearly confused. "That girl looks a lot like her."
"Not now," Quinn said quietly, patting Brittany's leg.
"Mr. Schue, I have something to say, and a song I'd like to sing."
Mr. Schuester tried to hide his surprise, "Sure Santana, take it away."
Santana took her guitar out of the case, and took a seat on the stool in front of the whole club. Santana took another deep breath, trying to calm her nerves. She tried to lock eyes with Rachel, but the little diva kept looking away from her. "A few weeks ago, someone told me I was hiding who I really am behind my Cheerios uniform. As much as I didn't want to admit it, it was true. I haven't been very honest with myself, for a while now, and I didn't know how happy I could be until recently."
Rachel gasped, suddenly realized what was happening. Santana was going to sing to her, in front of everyone.
"So, I quit the Cheerios this morning. I realized that my social status is definitely not more important to me than being truly happy is. I'm not really good with words, so I'm going to sing it." Santana looked straight to Rachel. "This is for you."
A slight buzz of utter shock went through the whole Glee club. No one saw this juicy piece of gossip coming.
Quinn looked to Santana, smiled and nodded encouragingly.
Santana started, hands shaking on the guitar, her voice quiet and tentative at first.
Waiting wantingTo see you in my eyesFinding feelingsThat I thought were buried I never thought that ICould ever love like thisBut you haveProven me wrong.
Rachel couldn't believe what she was hearing. This was the side of Santana that she knew was hiding in there somewhere. She was baring her soul not only to Rachel, but for the whole glee club to see. It was so raw, honest, and beautiful Rachel started to cry.
You the stranger who took a chanceHeld me at a distance so I could see thank you for everything you gave without knowingAnd thank you for letting me fall in loveWithout withholding
So let me in now
I am ready to move
And here comes fear and resistance from you
And for once I am willing and now what I've got to wait?
Santana finally got Rachel to look into her eyes, pleading that she understand that she meant every word she was singing. As she went on, her voice grew with confidence.
These lessons are everywhere in my life
You know I've never waited for anyone and I was always right
But ya, now I give up, I surrender
I would wait for you…forever
You the stranger who took a chance
Held me at a distance so I could see myself
So thank you for everything you gave without knowing
And thank you for letting me fall in loveWithout withholding
So come on and test me
Go on and try it
Because I know that I fit perfectly inside you
And to deny this love would be to deny your heart
And you're going to be the one who breaks
Baby if you choose to walk!
You the stranger who took a chance
Held me at a distance so I could see myself
So thank you for everything you gave without knowing
And thank you for letting me fall in loveWithout withholding…
Santana was overcome with relief as she finished singing the last note. All of the emotions that had been bottled up were finally coming to the surface. Hot tears streamed down her cheeks, and for the first time, she wasn't afraid of anyone seeing them. She slowly got off the stool, placed her guitar down, and walked towards Rachel. "Did you like it?" she asked, loud enough for only Rachel to hear.
Rachel stood up, wiping her own tears, and closed the gap between her and Santana. "I loved it," she whispered into the taller girl's ear. "Thank you so much, that was amazing Santana."
Santana held Rachel close, not caring what anyone was thinking. It was a big step for her, but it just felt so right. "I meant every word of it, Little Di. Thank you so much for pushing me, I needed it."
Cupping Santana's face in her hands, Rachel gently wiped the tears off Santana's cheeks with her thumbs. "Don't cry," she whispered. Tilting her head up towards Santana, she gently kissed her.
Santana ignored the claps and whistles of the rest of the glee club, she had actually forgotten that they were all there in the room watching them. She retuned Rachel's kiss, not wanting to let the little diva go. Singing to her had been a risk, but it was a risk well taken.
A/N: The song is Melissa Ferrick's The Stranger. I do not own the song.
I'm thinking there will be about 2 more chapters or so. Let me know what you guys think!