Chapter 10
House of Freaks
I gather my boxes of research notes and leave Romania the day after the meetings end. I go to Father Pawel's monastery, and his monk buddies set me up in a cool, stone room equipped with a large, wooden desk and little else. The room has an open, arched window that looks out on rolling, green hills spotted with squat trees. The hills glitter with bees. I spend most of my first few days looking out the window, sorting my thoughts.
I think very little about Gregorio. There's no point. I have clearance to be away from headquarters for several months to work on my book. He won't find me here. While I'm away, I assume that his resolve will weaken in his power play for my mind and soul. Then I'll waltz back into headquarters, get him to kiss me, and bada-bing bada-boom, I'll win. Until then, I've compartmentalized him in a remote recess of my brain.
I'm thinking about how to proceed with my book. I have to strike a very delicate balance. On the one hand, I need the book to present the vegan lifestyle in the best possible light in order to encourage the average vampire to give it a whirl. On the other hand, I need the book to pass B.I.T.E. inspection as nothing more than an informative, historical study of an alternative lifestyle. How to accomplish both?
After days of thought and no clear answers, I set to work. As I begin to write, I can't help but feel the guiding force that is so strong here among these men of God. I put the outline together fairly quickly. It will be in the actual text that I imbed the persuasive elements. I'll start out with the history. I think most vampires will be surprised to find that going all the way back to the days of Romanian supremacy, a large number of our kind has laid of humans for at least some portion of their lives.
Next I'll get into the reasons for choosing the lifestyle. I think I'll publish transcripts of the actual interviews here. That way it will be their words, not mine. It'll come off as more objective. Then I'll get into the 'how' – what they eat, how often, the best places to find big game, the most satisfying beasts, how to interact with humans without killing them, things like that. It'll basically be 'Abstaining from Human Hemoglobin for Dummies.'(1)
I develop a more detailed outline and find that I have holes, gaps in information. I leave Pawel for a few days here and there to gather information and fill in the gaps, but I am basically living here at the monastery. Father seems to like it. I take frequent breaks from my writing during the day when he's awake. His joints are weak, and he tires easily, so our walks are pretty much limited to a few circuits around the fountain in the courtyard. We sit more than we used to, and Father Pawel repeats the same old stories more and more frequently, but I don't mind. I like to hear the soft patter of his Polish words, and I like to watch his eyes light up when he gets to the good parts.
One day, I take him outside the wall of the monastery and have him climb on my back when no one is looking. We take off into the hills and have an old-fashioned picnic. He enjoys the change of scenery, but the rush of the trip there and back leaves him shaken and trembling, so we don't do that again.
When I'm confident that the book will come together, I call Carlisle and ask him if he'll review the draft when it's completed. He agrees to do it. He's very supportive of the whole project, but he seems distracted. I can tell something big is going on with him, but he doesn't elaborate. I haven't heard any reports on Edward's new bride – dead, transformed or otherwise, but I'm guessing Carlisle's distraction has something to do with that. I don't push him for details. He's agreed to help me; that's all I need to know.
During this time, the view outside my workroom changes to crunchy, brown fields and then to snowy hills peppered with bunny tracks. The hills change again and are now covered in bright green blankets and dotted with tiny purple flowers. My first draft is complete. I'm ready to show it to Carlisle.
He knows I'm coming, but I'm a little reluctant to face him. Even though I've been hermitted away here in Poland for the last several months, I've managed to keep somewhat up to speed on what's going on in the rest of the world. When I called to check in at the home office recently, everyone was in a hullabaloo, because Vladimir and Steffen had disappeared. The rumor was that something big was going on at the Cullens' involving the Volturi. That's not usually good. Given the Ancients' obsession with the Italian organization, we assumed that's where the two of them had disappeared to.
Vladimir and Steffen eventually came back, giddier than anyone had seen them in centuries. One of the vampires at headquarters pretended to be a curious tourist, and the two Ancients spilled their guts. They told the following story: Edward hadn't killed his bride, but he'd apparently done plenty of other things to her, because she'd gotten pregnant and given birth to his spawn while she was still human. The Cullens transformed her into a vampire after the birth. The Volturi had taken issue with the Cullens breeding a half-vampire and went to destroy it. But as Vladimir and Steffen reported, what had been built up as the fight of the millennium turned out to be nothing more than a discussion. A very long discussion. The Volturi had retreated from the fight.
I'm hoping Carlisle doesn't hold it against me that I didn't come to help. I think he'll understand. I did consider going. I mean, if I'd lost the Cullens, I'd have lost my primary resources. But standing against the Volturi would have been a dumb-ass move on my part. It would've jeopardized my standing in B.I.T.E., and I couldn't risk it. I think Carlisle will understand.
I purposely rent another minivan in Washington. It's going to be my thing from now on. I'm trying to be friends this time, so I come dressed casually – tight jeans with holes in just the right places and a form-fitting, black, ribbed turtleneck sweater. I'm keeping my height advantage with four inch heels on my awesome, biker-chick boots. I've let my hair grow out during my months with Pawel. Actually, I've gotten hair extensions - since vampire bodies don't change, our hair doesn't grow; I hadn't really thought that one all the way through when I'd initially chopped my hair off. I wear my new, long, straight hair pulled back into a smooth, simple ponytail. I go easy on the eyeliner and top off the whole ensemble with giant, silver, hoop earrings.
The front door opens before I even reach it, and I'm greeted by Esme. She's meeting me head on. Impressive.
"Yo, Esme. What's up?" I say.
"Quite a bit since we've last seen you," she says in a pleasant enough tone.
"So I hear," I respond in an equally friendly voice.
I think we might actually braid each other's hair later. Good thing I grew mine out.
She ushers me into the house where Carlisle, Emmett, and Rosalie are waiting. I'm going to do Emmett's interview while I'm here today. He looks excited. Rosalie doesn't.
"Carlisle, thank you so much for agreeing to look over the book. It's an enormous help. I know you've had a lot going on, and I appreciate you so generously offering your time," I say. See, I know how to kiss up when I need to.
"Nonsense," Carlisle says kindly. "You're the one we should all be thanking. The cause is a good one, one we will all be proud to be a part of. I've talked with Tanya and the others in Alaska, and they want to be just as much a part of this as the rest of us."
Tanya is with a coven of vegetarian vampires in Alaska. I've visited them in the course of my research, but haven't made it up there in over a year. They are close with Carlisle's family, and I'm grateful that he's kept them up to speed. I'm about to inquire about how the Alaskans are doing – one of their members was tragically the only casualty in the incident with the Volturi - when Edward walks in with a female vampire whom I've never seen before. She's clutching a small, babyish-looking thing.
"Elie, we'd like you to meet the newest members of our family," Carlisle says. "Edward…"
I look toward the female. Her dark hair is long and flowing, and she's way overdressed for the occasion. Typical American newbie. She's eyeing me warily. I can only imagine what she's heard about me.
"Elie, this is my wife, Bella," Edward says proudly.
"Nice to meet you, Newbie," I say and shake the hand she frees from what she's holding.
"And this is our daughter, Renesmee," he says and indicates the baby thing. It's small like a baby but not as chubby, and it doesn't have a huge, baby head – it's proportioned more like an adult. It's actually kind of creepy. The creepy quotient is taken up several notches when the thing speaks.
"Pleased to meet you," the baby says in a crystal clear voice.
"Holy shit!" I yell.
The mother laughs with pride and then says, "Please watch your language around her. She picks up everything."
"That is so not natural," I say, eying the baby suspiciously.
"Yes, she's very special," Edward says, rubbing a fond hand over his daughter's freakishly small head.
"Elie," Carlisle says, a note of gravity in his voice. "We could have used your help, recently."
"I know, Carlisle," I say with apology ringing through my words. "I'm sorry I couldn't be here. I sincerely considered coming when I heard you were in trouble, but it wasn't possible. If I came, it would have exposed our deeper relationship, and our project would have died before it even started. Not to mention the rift it would have caused between B.I.T.E. and the Volturi. It's bad enough that Vladimir and Steffen were here. I would have been expelled, and we'd have lost everything."
Carlisle nods his head. He can't argue with me. The time seems ripe for a little more sucking up.
"You hardly needed me, though," I say admiringly. "I hear you scared the Volturi so much that they decided not to even fight."
"We had the help of very many friends, yes," Carlisle says with great warmth and gratitude.
"Well, it was really Bella here that did the trick," Edward says.
Emmett and Rosalie groan slightly, and even Carlisle sounds a little impatient when he interjects.
"Now, Edward, we can talk about that later. We have other things to discuss," Carlisle says.
"Oh come on, we have to wait for Jazz anyhow," Edward says.
"Jazz? Who's Jazz?" I ask.
"It's our nickname for Jasper," Edward says.
"I've never heard anyone call him that before," I say.
"It's new," Edward explains.
I see my golden opportunity to change the subject. I've already heard about his wife's brain bubbles that blocked the Volturi's gifts. The story was mind-numbingly boring the first time I heard it, and I don't want to have to sit through it again.
"Oh, well, if we're handing out new nicknames, I'm giving up on Eddie; it never really stuck," I say. "So let's leave off the Ed and I'll call you…Ward. Yep. I'm going to call you Ward."
He rolls his eyes, and I call him Ward for the rest of my visit. I work it into every possible sentence.
"So, Ward, how do you like married life?" I ask.
"It's wonderful," he says dreamily, gazing down at his wife. She looks up at him with the same brainless, adoring expression that the interns are always lavishing on Gregorio.
"How about you, Newbie?" I say. "How is Ward treating you? Was he a little hard on the Beaver last night?"
Emmett belts out a huge laugh from across the room. It shakes the house. He and I are drawn to each other magnetically for a high five.
The newbie is shooting daggers at Emmett with her red eyes.
"Hey, she said it, not me," Emmett says defensively. It doesn't help his case that he's trying unsuccessfully to stop laughing as he says it.
Newbie is not happy.
"Sorry," I say. "Reference lost on younger viewer. It's from an old TV. show – Leave it to Beaver. Ever see it?"
She stares angrily at me; a soft growl rumbles in her throat.
"It was a pretty good show," I say lightly.
Jasper and Alice walk in.
"Elie!" Alice calls and runs to me for a hug.
Jasper looks around, checking out the mood of the room and says, "Minimal damage. Good job, Elie."
"Thanks," I beam proudly.
Jasper stands near the newbie, calming her, and says, "Don't worry; you'll get used to her. She kind of grows on you after a while."
"Like a fungus," I hear Rosalie mutter under her breath. Good one, Blondie.
"Well, we're all here," Carlisle says. "But before we get started on the project, we'd like to tap your knowledge of vampire history, Elie, if we may."
"Of course," I say. "What do you want to know?"
"As you've no doubt guessed, Bella here is a newborn. What you may not have noticed yet, since we're all vampires, is that she exhibits remarkable self control. She's been able to resist the scent of humans since her first hunt. She's been placed in the most tempting of situations, and she's always been able to resist."
"That baby's half human – does it have human blood?" I inquire.
Carlisle nods and says, "Isn't it amazing?"
"Yeah, she should've ripped that thing's head off by now," I say. Newbie flinches. I could probably be more gentle in my word choice.
"I was wondering if, perhaps, there is anything in your archives that may give us some insight into her special talent. Have you ever read about any cases like hers?" Carlisle asks.
I think for a minute. "Yes, there's a document in the archives titled, 'What to Expect When You're Expecting a New Blood Drinker.'(2) There's a section in there about anomalies. I only skimmed through it, but from what I read, there are definitely not-so-pleasant consequences to skipping over the normal developmental patterns. I mean, you can never expect the path to simply be that smooth, right?"
"What do you mean by 'no-so-pleasant,'" Edward asks nervously.
"Well, most similar anomalies ended up going through sort of a mid-life crisis at some point. They hit their wild streak late." I nod toward the newbie and say, "You'd better keep an eye on her."
"Oh, I am," Jasper says quickly, his sharp eyes intently focused on her. He's the only one who doesn't seem disturbed by what I'm telling them.
Newbie's irritated. "Look, I know why you're here," she blurts and takes a threatening step toward me. "You want my family to put itself on the line for your little project. Well, I'm completely against it! We've been through so much, and Renesmee is already a person of interest to the Volturi, so I don't see why we should risk exposing her more. Why can't you just leave us alone and let me be happy?"
I look toward Jasper and Carlisle and say calmly, "Could someone please explain to Princess Newbie that she is not, in fact, the axis around which the earth rotates?"
Newbie opens her mouth and huffs.
"Bella," Carlisle says, "It's true that the family has spent the bulk of its time and energy defending your personal interests these last couple of years. We'll never regret doing that, but I'm sure you'll agree that it's time now to turn our focus toward the needs of the wider world."
Newbie snaps her mouth shut and looks to Edward, whose eyes are conveniently trained on the floor. She looks a bit chagrined and mumbles, "Well, maybe if she understood what we've been through."
The baby suddenly reaches a hand out to my head. I recoil so instinctively that I'm at the top of the long staircase without even meaning to go there. I'm holding an arm out protectively in front of me.
"I…I…uh, look…just…just don't touch me, okay?" I stammer.
"She won't hurt you," Edward is quick to say. "She just wants to show you something"
"Well, what is it, Ward?" I ask, keeping my safe distance.
"She can show you her memories," Edward says excitedly. His paternal pride glows in his eyes. I'm having trouble being able to think of him as a prick now that he's such a proud papa. "It's like a movie playing in your head," he explains.
"It's pretty cool," Emmett says encouragingly.
"Oh, like home movies of somebody else's family," I say, cautiously coming down the stairs. "I can't imagine anything more exciting." I can't imagine anything more excruciating. "I'll take a pass," I tell him.
An overgrown boy bounds into the room. He's huge, all brawny muscle with thick, black, scruffy hair and deep, chocolate brown eyes.
"Speaking of family…" Emmett says with the hint of a chuckle in his voice.
The new boy smells like a dung heap covered with rancid vinegar. He smells like…my defensive reflexes immediately kick in. I'm crouched with my fingers splayed like claws. My low hiss fills the room. The boy transforms right in front of me into an enormous wolf. He's not like European werewolves, though. He looks more like a classic wolf, but huge. His fur looks fluffy, and he's actually kind of cute, except for the sharp teeth that are exposed right now by his vicious snarl.
"Elie! Jacob!" Carlisle calls out. "Calm down. We're all friends here."
Friends! With a fricking werewolf? I don't think so. I'm not backing down. Neither is the wolf.
"Jacob, stop. Elie funny," the baby says.
To my amazement, the wolf backs down. He doesn't transform, but he's no longer growling at me, and he sits docilely next to the newbie. The baby reaches out and pets the wolf.
I turn to Carlisle with angry perplexity. What the hell is going on here?
"Jacob is a special friend of the family," Carlisle explains.
"You named it?" I exclaim with disbelief.
"Jacob is family," Newbie says defiantly.
"Yes, Jacob is family," Carlisle corrects himself without further explanation. I decide not to push him for information. The wolf is not going to eat me; that's all I need to know.
"I've got to hand it to you, Carlisle," I say, fighting to keep my voice calm. "You've really assembled yourself quite the house of freaks here. If you're ever interested in relieving yourself of them, I'm sure B.I.T.E. would be interested in purchasing the whole lot of them. Yes, I think a zoo would fit in quite nicely with the museum."
The baby smiles. She seems to like the idea of a zoo. She reaches out for my head again. I've only jumped back about five feet this time, but I'm completely unnerved. I fling my arm out and point directly at the kid with my eyes blazing on her.
"Don't fricking touch me!" I shout.
Even to me, my tone seems a bit harsh for a baby. Her face crumples and she begins sobbing loudly into her mother's shoulder. The newbie glares at me, and the wolf bares his teeth again and growls, stalking slowly toward me. I turn to him.
"The last wolf that messed with me is dead now, got it?" I seethe. "Back off."
"Alright, everybody, calm down," Carlisle says soothingly.
Jasper is working furiously. The newbie stomps out the door with the baby when she sees that Carlisle is not going to yell at me.
The wolf follows them, but Edward stays. He's glaring at me.
"Look, Ward, there's really not a polite way to say this," I tell him, "So I'm just going to come out and say it – your baby totally creeps me out. So, if you could just ask little Rheumatism not to touch me, in return, I will try my best not to shout at it anymore."
"Her name is Renesmee, and you're going to have to do better than try," he says. "One more incident like that, and you won't be invited back here."
"Fair enough," I say, holding off on any more comments about the name. Ugh, the name.
He gives me one last warning glance and then goes out the door after his new family.
"Shall we get to this?" I say to Carlisle, who readily agrees.
I give Carlisle my manuscript. While he reads it, Emmett and I head up to Carlisle's office for the interview. Rosalie follows us up the stairs and doesn't try to hide the fact that she'll be right outside the door the whole time.
"I've obviously already written up all of my research in the manuscript that Carlisle is reviewing, but I can easily edit in anything new that comes up here," I tell Emmett right before I sit down in the power seat.
Like Jasper, Emmett takes the seat across the desk. I first clarify details of Emmett's history and get a little background on his hunting style. Then I flat out ask, "Emmett, why don't you hunt humans?"
"Because I love her," he answers simply.
"Yes, that's why you started, but why do you continue? Over the years, you must have come around to believing that it's the right thing to do."
"Nah. I don't see it as right or wrong. It's how we're wired; it's just instinct. It's no different than bears mauling humans who get to close to their babies. It's what vampires do."
"So you don't have any reason for avoiding humans other than Rosalie? Only for Rosalie?"
"Yeah," he shrugs. "I love her."
"Couldn't you still love her and eat humans?" I ask.
"I've messed up plenty of times, if that's what you mean."
"No, I mean, it doesn't seem fair that you've had to change your lifestyle for her when she hasn't done the same for you. Why don't you demand that she start eating humans?"
"That'd kinda wreck your cause, wouldn't it?" he says, completely missing my point.
"I'm speaking hypothetically," I tell him. I hope he understands the word 'hypothetically.'
"Hypothetically, I'd never ask her to change. I love her exactly as she is."
"Plus she's standing right outside the door listening and would pounce on you if you give a different answer," I say.
"True. But it's still an honest answer."
"So, earning Rosalie's love is a powerful enough incentive to keep you clean. The thought of losing her gives you the strength to live this way."
"I don't live this way to make Rosalie love me. I live this way because she loves me. I know that I wouldn't lose her just because I changed my eating habits, but I also know that this is important to her; it's a huge part of who she is. It makes me happy to please her, so I guess I do it as much for me as for her. I like to make her happy."
"I think it's a good thing your interview is not in the book. Nobody'd believe it.," I tell him.
"Do you believe it?" he asks.
I think for a second. "Yeah, I guess I do. But I don't understand it."
I don't understand it. I'm sure this kind of devotion is a very rare thing. I wonder what it feels like to have someone love you at that level.
"Wait a minute," I say. "If you are so besotted with Rosalie, why are you always making eyes at me?"
"No way," he says, getting defensive. "You're the one who always toys with me, and I'm just a man reacting as any man would react," he says, looking at the door. I think he's speaking more to Rosalie beyond the door than to me. "Nothing has ever happened and nothing ever will happen." He's still looking at the door.
"Really," I say, seeing a chance to have some fun. I kick my legs up onto the desk and stretch them out, crossing my kick-ass boots at the ankles. There's a fortunate tear in my jeans along my thigh that highlights a tantalizing muscle. I chew suggestively on my pencil and give Emmett the eyes.
He senses my change in demeanor and slowly turns toward me. I can't say anything, because Rosalie will hear, so I give him a hard look and lower my gaze to the desk and then back up to him. The look very clearly says, 'Wanna go for it right here?'
Emmett stares at me. He's temporarily frozen. Then he shouts, "No way!" and pushes himself away from the desk so forcefully that I'm nearly knocked off balance. He gets up and walks across the room, away from me.
"I love her. I love her more than anything. Hurting her would be the stupidest thing I could ever do," he says emphatically.
"Relax," I say. "I was only testing you. You pass. What you and Rosalie have is pretty cool," I tell him. "It's definitely worth protecting no matter what."
But I still don't understand it. How could someone give themselves up for someone else so completely? And how could someone expect someone else to do that for them?
"Thanks," Emmett says, sounding more relaxed.
"Yep," I nod. "Well, I think we're done here. Thanks for your time," I say sincerely.
"Sure," Emmett shrugs, heading to the door. Just before he opens it, he turns to me and says, "This was fun, Elie."
"Yeah, it was," I admit.
I head out the door after giving Emmett and Rosalie a moment to embrace and disappear down the hall. Emmett definitely scored some points with her during the interview. I go downstairs where Carlisle has my pages spread out on the dining room table and is busy making notes. Edward is back. I see that Carlisle has been getting his, Jasper's and Alice's input. The five of us sit down together for a couple of hours, and I feel great about what we accomplish.
It's almost time for me to leave for my flight, so I start organizing my papers. While I'm scooping them into my bag, I comment, "So, Ward, you've been calling me Elie this whole time. What up?"
Edward presses his lips together and raises his eyebrows in a knowing look. "I see that someone else in your life has dibs on Elisabeta," he says.
I realize that he's talking about Gregorio. When I opened up a new part of my mind to him, I opened up a whole lot more than I bargained on. Edward has been polite enough not to use it against me and only brings it up now because I asked. I still don't like it.
"Nobody has dibs on me," I make very clear.
"Okay," Edward says in a skeptical way that is definitely not okay.
I drop it. So does he.
I make a quick plan with the Cullens to meet up in Alaska in a few weeks. By then I should have the book published, and we can make concrete plans on how to proceed. I quickly fly out of the house so I don't miss my flight. No one seems terribly sad to see me go.