A/N: Thanks for reading, anyone can tell me what they think! Thank you for the condolences for my dear sweet bunny.
"I used to spend most of my time on stage searching for my father's face in the audience."
I always got the simple part of Heart and Soul when Ziva and I played.
At that point I was not so musically inclined as she was, but I grudgingly allowed her to teach me anyway. She needed someone to practice duets with and I was a convenient partner. Ziva rarely actually performed the pieces she learned, only for Ari occasionally, who also played.
After one long dance practice I returned home to hear her playing Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata on the grand piano in the sitting room reserved for dinner parties that never happened. I was hideously grumpy; my feet were bleeding profusely and covered in blisters that were close to popping. I had enough torture to deal with without point to worry about.
I loudly dropped my wooden slippers in the door frame and watched her play the dreadfully slow sonata even slower than necessary. All the windows were wide open and the tasteful lace curtains blew in the wind.
"Did someone die?" I said obnoxiously.
She slammed her fingers down on the keys, ending abruptly. "Something bothering you?" she asked through a clenched jaw.
"Yeah. Why don't you dance with me anymore?"
"I haven't in ages- It didn't suit me."
"You loved it, don't lie to me. I remember how much you loved it, that's why I started when I did." Ziva kept her eyes down, staring at the keys. "I saw how happy you were in your pretty little outfits, spinning around in the living room and showing off for mother and I. Father always said it was a good talent to have, and since you're currently in the business of being the perfect daughter, I don't see why…"
"Why is this so fucking important to you, Tali?" She hissed, voice shaking with anger.
"Is it because Mom died? Now that she isn't here to praise your every movement you have to move on to Eli?"
"Doesn't it bother you?" She burst, interrupting me.
"What?" I said, suddenly dumbstruck.
"That no one ever comes to your performances? That everyone important to you always has something better to do? What is the point after a while? And stop being so hypocritical." She spat, standing up. "We are both equally guilty of trying to please father. Not everything I do is because of him, just like not everything you do is because of him."
I was silent.
"I'm going off to basic training because I am obligated to. It is the law, Tali, we all have to serve our country- even if father told you that you can study abroad that year. Why are you so pissed about this in the first place?"
"What are you going to do after your mandatory two years? Look at us Ziva! Don't you think we have done enough?"
"Enough of what." Ziva said shortly, crossing her arms.
"Training." I spat back at her "Isn't it obvious, what we were meant to do from the beginning? Ari went off to medical school but look where he ended up anyway- back at Mossad. And so will you."
"Is it such a bad thing, Tali?"
We stared at each other, coldly, eye to eye, in a vicious staring contest.
"I have stayed up all night begging and trying to convince a half delirious Ari to let me sew up a gash in his chest. It was just a fucking cut, but to him I guess it was some sign of weakness for him to accept my help." I told her evenly.
"I had to force feed him water and painkillers and… It was so fucking difficult for him to accept the help of his poor little sister that he would have rather bled out. When you can say you've done that, you tell me what a bad thing it is. You tell me what Mossad does to your mind then. So go off to training, I'll still be wasting away like we all have.
"What are you going to do about it anyway? Not using your talents is the real waste."
"I would rather waste my talents than waste my life with father and his institution. A life like that is as hollow as hell Ziva, as hollow as fucking hell."