Disclaimer - all the usual disclaimers apply. Unfortunately, they don't belong to me…

Guidelines for Handling Abusive Telephone Calls:

Zechs was on the 'phone when I got into the car, squashing myself in past what looked like a forest of vegetables and trying to trample the celery stalks. We'd be eating the damn things for weeks otherwise.

'No, he's here now, kaerste. Don't worry, we're on our way; we'll see you soon. Love you.'

Then we were taking off at a speed that threatened to break the sound barrier, let alone the speed limit. Honestly, if Relena hadn't wrangled him a set of Sanque Diplomatic plates, he'd spend his entire fortune paying fines for traffic violations.

'Why do we have to go back straightaway?'

I didn't want to go home. I wanted to go to the shooting range and blaze away with very powerful, very loud weapons until my shoulder ached and my hearing was totally destroyed. Then I wanted to go for pizza and see the new blockbuster movie about the killer mutants, and get back so late that Wufei and Trowa would have gone to bed.

'Your friend Winner called. He's found out that Trowa is staying with us.'

Well, he was bound to, sooner or later. Trowa Barton can move through the world like smoke and shadows, but WEI owns L4, pretty much. I was actually surprised it had taken him this long to trace his runaway boyfriend.

'How pissed is he?'

'Considerably.' He took a hard right turn on to the freeway and turned to look at me. 'Trowa talked to him, this time. According to 'Fei, he told Quatre quite categorically that the two of them are finished. Winner didn't take it very well.'

'Oh.' It wasn't that much of a surprise, not after what Tro had told me yesterday.

He'd pretty much implied that, so far as he was concerned, the two of them were no longer together. Full stop.

'So.. You're his friend. What do you think he'll do now? Deploy the Magunacs on a search and retrieve mission?'

God, the guy's a frigging adrenalin junkie; I knew he was rattled by whatever Wufei had told him over the 'phone, more than he was letting on, but he was also imagining us in a state of siege, setting up anti-aircraft artillery on the roof and landmining the front lawn.

'I don't think so,' In other circumstances, it might have been laughable; the thought of Quatre Winner attacking our house. 'He tends to be more subtle than that.'

'Subtle,' he mused. 'Duo, he knows everything about you, doesn't he?'

That actually did made me laugh. 'Zechs, I think everyone in the world knows everything about me. My life's pretty much an open book.'

That's literally true, by the way. There've been a couple of unauthorised (well, obviously) biographies floating around, exposing damn near every detail of my sordid little past.

'Not what happened at Preventers.'

What happened there is probably one of the few parts of my life that's never been chewed over by the media, the irony being that I couldn't care less about people knowing about my brief, inglorious career with the Preventers. It had lasted for about five hours, not counting orientation classes and coffee breaks, but I'm sure I have one of the thickest, most highly classified files of any employee in their history. Une probably sleeps with it under her pillow.

'They might find it more embarrassing than me. I don't care if people know what happened; I only went along with the cover up because Heero asked me to. Anyway, what are you thinking? That Quat's going to start some - what's the word? - vendetta against me? That's crazy. I haven't done anything.'

'Duo...Winner seems to think you are somehow ... instrumental in splitting up himself and Trowa.' He took his eyes off the road to see my reaction to this, only just hauling the car back from the cliff edge in time.

'Zechs! Watch the road, will you?'

'I was a Gundam Pilot, Duo. I think I can be trusted to drive a car.'

'Oh really? You flew Epyon without bothering to look where you were going?'

He smirked. 'Duo, you do not want to know what other things I could do when I was piloting.'

Oh God. How does every conversation with him somehow end up being about sex? And, sorry, but there are some things you can not do in a Gundam.

'You're right; I don't want to know. And I'm sure Quatre is upset, I don't blame him, but he's hardly going to take it out on me.'

Wufei and Trowa were in the kitchen, when we got back, standing on opposite sides of the table and glaring at the 'phone as if it might morph into a Leo at any moment. It was pretty obvious that they'd been having an argument over something and the tension in the room had all but taken on visible life forms.

'Mil, tell Trowa he should stay with us.'

'Trowa, you should stay with us,' Zechs repeated obligingly, crossing the floor to pull Wufei into a kiss, the sort of kiss that always makes me feel surprised that they're still dressed and vertical afterwards. 'Why were you planning to leave anyway? You've only been here a couple of days.'

What happened next was - just weird. The three of them exchanged some sort of complicated eye contact like they all knew something and I didn't and they wanted to keep it that way.

'Duo,' Wu said finally, 'maybe you could take Trowa into the lounge and show him how to work the cable on TV?'

'Oh, because there's no way he could work that out by himself?' I snapped. 'If you want to talk to Zechs without me, you could just ask me straight out.'

'Maybe he doesn't walk to talk?' Zechs suggested, winking at me.

'Whatever.' I banged out of the kitchen, not bothering to check if Trowa was after me. I know it was unfair and irrational and that I was still stressed after therapy, but I really, really wanted to hit Trowa. It had been easier to feel sorry for him when he'd been ... blurry around the edges; exhausted and grieving and emotionally wrecked. Now, he seemed somehow more like his old self - very reserved, very much in control of himself - and involved in some sort of weird conspiracy with the guys. And it was probably just my imagination but he also seemed a couple of inches taller.

I showed him how to surf through the our gazillion cable channels and he eventually settled in my spot on the couch, watching some wildlife documentary about lions. It was sort of cute at the first, watching the little cubs gambol about and play with each other, but then they showed footage of the adults hunting. I hate that bit. It did occur to me that I should maybe go and do something vaguely productive, but it took less energy just to slouch in my chair and glower at Trowa.

Boyfriend-beating sadist who liked watching baby gazelles getting torn apart by a big gang of lions. Oh, I do know that's not entirely fair. The voices in my head that belonged to the Pro-Tro lobby kept pushing in to say that Quat wasn't entirely innocent in any of this; he had after all been feeding his partner with highly-illegal and potentially lethal drugs.

On top of all this, I couldn't help feeling really, really hurt that Quat hadn't told me about any of this. Is that selfish? But it just underpinned the fact that we'd grown so far apart, that I'd been hanging on to some stupid illusion that nothing had changed, and he pretty obviously didn't need me as his confidante any more.

We'd told each other pretty much everything during the War, and for a few years after. I couldn't really pinpoint the exact point when he'd started to drift away. He'd been there the most after my accident. Wufei had been off doing his Preventer thing, and Tro had been spending time with the Cathy at the circus; they'd both visited as often as possible, but Quat had been the constant presence, keeping me sane.

I'd thought somehow that it never change, even when he took over WEI. Stupid Duo, right? Believing that everything would stay the same, that Qua and I would always tell each other everything.

I was late getting to the safe house where the four of us were supposed to be meeting up. Quat and Trowa had been there a couple of days already. Quat had sent me a quick message to say they were both safe, although Tro had a flesh wound in his right leg. He'd also confided coyly that Something had happened between the two of them, although he hadn't elaborated as to whether this had been full-on sex, or a little discreet hand-holding, but at least they'd finally told each other how they felt.

I'd dislocated my right shoulder during the mission, wrenching hard at 'Schythe's controls, and though I'd managed to put in back in place (trust me; you do not want details on that), it was still killing me. Trowa was asleep when I arrived, so I let Quat drag me into one of the bedrooms, with the medical kit.

'Heero's not back yet?'

'Not yet, but I'm sure he's safe. We'd have heard something if anything had gone wrong, and I've been monitoring all the news channels. Try not to worry too much, Duo.'

I nodded, letting him feed me painkillers and look after a couple of minor burns on my arm, before he climbed up on to the bed with me to rub some sort of herbal ointment into my shoulder. It felt surprisingly good to be fussed over; something I'd never really had before. Even at the Maxwell Church, there'd been far too many orphans clamouring for Sister Helen's attention.

'Thanks, Quat.' I flexed my arm and found I could actually move it this time without too much screaming pain. 'You're a miracle worker, has anyone ever told you that?'

He was busying himself with putting the medical kit away and I gave him a sly little grin. 'Maybe you shouldn't put all those nice, muscle-relaxing creams away just yet. 03 might appreciate a nice back rub, huh?'

'It's his leg that was injured.' Quatre had his back to me, putting the medical supplies back in the box. 'He doesn't have anything wrong with his shoulders.'

'Hello! Come in, L4! You could always start with his leg and work your way up a little bit….I bet he'd appreciate a little blond sugar in his sad and lonely life.'

'Duo...you can't say things like that! Please.'

'Quat? Q, come here. What's wrong? I thought you guys had sorted things out.'

'Yes. Well. Perhaps. I don't know.' Well, that was enlightening, wasn't it?

'Hey, calm down, Quat. Talk to me, OK? You like him, don't you? And we know that he likes you. I'm not really seeing a problem here.'

'It's the...' I'd hauled Quat up to the mattress beside me one-handed, and he was staring down at the bedquilt, fingers plaiting the fabric together. 'The - you know, the - physical thing.'

'I thought you had that sorted. I mean, you two got together, right?'

He'd had some serious hang-ups about sex back then. Originally, I'd assumed it was being having been brought up on L4; it's not socially acceptable to be gay there. But he'd told me he didn't care about all that, that he could see nothing wrong in two people loving each other. Oh, and he also believed that he and Trowa were twin souls who'd been destined for each other since the beginning of time.

'Well. Yes, but...Sort of. We did some...some kissing. On...you know, on the mouth. And then we just ... held each other. In bed.'

'I think that's called cuddling. You go, Q! That's so cool. So you guys made out together, and you got into it? Quat, sorry if I'm being slow here but I'm still not getting what the problem is. He didn't try to push you into anything else, did he? 'Cause I'd disembowel him with 'Scythe if he ever tried to hurt you!'

'No! Nothing like that. It was the opposite almost...He was being really careful, almost like he was the one who was scared. It was sweet at first but then I wanted...I didn't want him to feel that I had to be treated like I was delicate... so...'

'Quat! You little minx, you! You got to boss Trowa Barton around in bed, right?'

'Well...yes.' Poor Quat, his face was flaming so badly I was starting to worry the room would ignite.

'I - I suppose I did. And oh Duo, it was wonderful at the time. I'd never imagined it could be like that, to feel so close. But, now, he's going to want more, isn't he? And he'll think that I - that I want it as well. Because I let him do those other things and I didn't try to stop him and I actually asked him not to stop and...'

'Quatre, shut up!' He gave me the most forlorn look imaginable, but I knew what he was like when he got into one of his emotional moods; better to nip in the bud before he started crying and then find out exactly what was wrong.

But, fuck, I did not want to have to ask the next question. Did not want to think of Quatre Winner in the vicinity of those thoughts.

'Quat, listen babe, no one ever tried to hurt you, did they?'

He shrank back against the pillows, making himself as small as possible, but he was shaking his head vehemently and let me gather him up, clinging to me.

'Shhh, it's OK. You can tell me, whatever happened. You know that. I swear I won't tell anyone.'

'It wasn't me, Duo. I swear.' Through the sobs, he told me what had happened when he was eleven or so. About the young garden boy at the Winner Estate who was returning from an errand, late at night, when he'd been waylaid and raped. 'I wasn't even supposed to know anything about it. I wasn't supposed to know that things like that could happen, especially not to children, but I could feel Nasir, I could feel his pain and I couldn't say anything because my father didn't want to know that I could feel things. That I was different. I heard the servants gossiping the next day, saying it had all been his own fault and that his parents were so ashamed of him, of how he should have died rather than let it happen but he was only a boy, Duo, younger than we are now... and they could scarcely bear to look at him and he..he...killed himself. Duo, he was found in the stables, he'd slit his wrists and I heard my nanny saying it was for the best... that he'd never be able to get a proper job now, with people knowing what had happened, that no decent family would ever let him marry their daughter...'

'Quat. Quat! Deep breath, OK? Just breathe, babe. Listen, what happened to that kid was a terrible, terrible thing. But - people can survive being raped. You can go on...you can survive...'

'Duo! You didn't - you weren't?'

'No! Not me. But..I saw things. On L2. It's fucking awful and unfair but you can still go on living. Somehow. Seems to me that what killed him was his family's reaction; maybe he would've been able to get past it if he'd had their support. If they hadn't blamed him for it. D'you see what I mean?'

A jerky nod of that blond head.

'That was rape, Quat. It's all about power and abuse and strength, it's not about love. Not anything to do with what you and Tro have for each other. Not anything that's ever going to happen to you. I swear. I'd kill anyone who tried to hurt you.'

'I - I'd kill anyone who tried to hurt you too.' For the first time, I was the one who couldn't meet his gaze...those huge blue eyes brimming with far, far too much compassion and knowledge and understanding. Not easy to hide stuff when your best friend has this weird mind-mojo thing going on.

'About Tro, I think you should talk to him. Just tell him that you're not very experienced and that you do like him, but you want to take it slowly at first. It's no big deal, Quat. He's a good guy. He'll understand.'

'But, Duo! I couldn't tell him something like that! I'd be far too embarrassed.'

Oh, God give me strength.

'Q. You slept naked with the guy so you...'

'I did not! I was wearing pyjamas!'

Yeah, and probably thermal underwear as well, and fluffy bedsocks and a nightcap with a bobble on the end. Oh, well, that was Trowa's problem.

'OK then; you slept with him fully clothed; if you feel comfortable enough for that, you really should be able to talk to him,OK? Just tell him how you're feeling.'

'If you tell Heero how you feel about him.'

'Huh? How did we suddenly start this conversation? This isn't about me and Heero.'

'Maybe it should be! You do love him don't you?'

'Duo.' There was someone banging on the bedroom wall. Trowa. Heero's just arrived.'

'Duo.' Trowa again, jerking me back to the present. I hadn't even heard my cellphone ringing and of course it was Quatre. Of course it was on speakerphone so they all got to hear him, even Wufei and Zechs who were standing in the doorway.

I never did get to hear all of what Quatre said; I dropped the 'phone when I was fumbling to push the Silent button, and Zechs shot it.