This is super late, I know! I'm sorry I kept you guys hanging like that after the last chapter. This has been my busiest semester yet, I'm doing the best I can. :/ Just two weeks of this disastrous excuse of a semester left and then updates will be a lot steadier!
Chapter 9
(Caspian POV)
The lord's wife did indeed have helpful information; from what Caspian can tell, the witch has indeed passed through here, and recently. Moreover, she'd been here for years. If Lady Misia was to be believed, her old friend had been living in Telmara almost as long as Rosamar, though he didn't mention that to the poor distressed soul. Perhaps it was even this witch who wrote him that letter about Rose, and who wrote the letter to his former Lord Regent that resulted in Rose's imprisonment.
If ever he needed proof she was the same snake as the one that threatened Tanssi Kuun, he has it now. At first, he thinks to tell Rose the news, but he remembers with an icy jolt that she's not here. That she left.
Over dinner, Caspian gets the wild idea that Rose might come back tonight. It's completely unfounded, but surely she can't stay away forever. Perhaps she saw him enter the city and she'll come and explain herself.
She won't, but pretending she will calms him.
Caspian stays up for hours waiting for her regardless. First, he keep himself awake by attending to paperwork in his old study. Technically, this is the council's responsibility, but he needs something to keep him from falling asleep and the lords were more than pleased to let him pitch in. And when the stack of paperwork is worked through, Caspian writes a letter to Trumpkin explaining all that has happened so far. He won't be here to receive a reply, but it's something else to do.
The moon is just starting to sink in the sky when Caspian forces himself to accept that Rose won't be returning to the castle tonight. He can only go to bed and hope to find her in the morning. Morning comes, and Caspian sends out several guards to look for her. Caspian reminds himself that it's only been a day since he's arrived in the city and that he can't expect to root her out so soon, especially if she isn't keen on being found. Yet the first pangs of angry anxiety start to prick at his mind.
Lunch hour comes, and no word from the guards. To busy himself, Caspian takes Jill and Eustace out to the training grounds and teaches them swordplay. Eustace remembers much from his days on the Dawn Treader, but Jill has clearly never held anything bigger than a kitchen knife before, and even that is dubious. When she makes little progress, Caspian shifts to archery. The methodical thump of the arrows against the target helps calm his rising impatience.
Evening comes. As before, no sign of her. The guards apologize profusely and say what Caspian already knows - no answer at the door. Caspian tries to remain patient, he truly does, but he's tempted to leave Telmara without her. His son may not have these days left to wile away. A second pang of concern joins the morning's troubled thoughts when the guards say Darin's blacksmith shop is closed. No answer at the door, and no sign of Darin either. Caspian sends the guards away with a heavy heart. Something is definitely amiss, and now it's hard to be so angry with Rose for leaving so suddenly. Does she know what's happened? Is something keeping her away? Is it Tanssi Kuun?
Caspian spends a restless night pacing his room, trying not to worry and utterly failing. She did promise to meet them at the Giant's Bridge, and they'll surely be late if they don't leave tomorrow. But he's not sure if he can leave without knowing what's happened to her.
"Perhaps we can look for her, just once more before we leave?" Jill suggests over breakfast.
Caspian is quite sure that if the city guards couldn't find anything, the four of them won't either.
"I think the guards covered it all, Pole." Eustace seems to agree with Caspian's unspoken sentiment, and it's only a matter of time before Puddleglum points out the futility of the gesture.
"Assuming she's still in the city," comes the mournful offering. "And assuming she wasn't killed on the road. That sort of thing happens on adventures."
Caspian kneads his forehead with his thumb and tries to quell the pinch of dread in his stomach. "I will go to her home," he says, "the guards won't have gone inside." At the very least, perhaps he'll find Darin - he'll know for sure if Rose is in Tanssi Kuun.
Caspian leaves the moment breakfast is over. The children were determined to be useful, so he sent them to the blacksmith shop once more with Puddleglum to look after them. The Marshwiggle may be a long-faced fellow, but Caspian trusts his capabilities. He knows they won't find anything, but it gives them something to do.
The walk to Rose's home is far too short. Caspian tells himself he'll find a note inside, something to prove she's alright, but he's been worried lately and he's afraid it has merit, especially in times such as these. He's lost his wife and, for now, his son; what would keep Rosamar safe?
Before very long at all, he's at her door. The bustlings of a city awoken hours ago provide the veneer of normality. In other times, the noise and life would comfort him; now, it grates at his patience. Selfishly, he wants this to be a private thing, visiting Rose's house again.
He ignores his pride and knocks. No answer. Perhaps Darin is in Tanssi Kuun with her? Caspian knocks again, louder this time. The wood is rough against the side of his fist. "Rose?" he calls. "Darin?"
Nothing. They must both be gone, taking care of something that she couldn't tell him about. But concern still gnaws at his insides, so Caspian swallows his manners and tries the doorknob. Open.
First glance shows him an empty house. And so he enters, barely caring that Rose would be quite angry at him striding in like this if she found out. But she's missing and so he's not completely unjustified, is he?
Caspian searches the entire house from wall to wall. And just as it's been for the past day, there is nothing. No sign of Rose, no sign of anyone. Shouldn't at least a pot be out of place? He remembers how she'd harp on Darin for leaving clean dishes lying around.
The only place Caspian hesitates to search is the bedroom. It feels too intimate, too intrusive. But something feels odd, out of place, as he stands in the doorway. A strange smell. He steps inside, freezes. The sheets are half off the bed and there's no blanket. The rug beside the bed is creased. But oh, it's worse than a small case of not making the bed. The smell. Even the cold cannot hide that smell, and Caspian knows it too well.
Death.
He's choking on nothing, vision blurred from shaking his head too quickly. He should never have let her leave alone.
The floor is hard and cold under his knees. How could this have happened? His last true friend, his closest friend, now taken from him too? What cruel world is this, to take all he loves most exactly when he cannot lose it?
Caspian can't be sure what he does for a good while after that, but when his vision clears Rose's wall is dented and cracked and his hands are bloody. His throat stings, like he's been screaming himself hoarse for hours on end. But no one's come knocking at the door, so perhaps he didn't. It doesn't matter, not really; he just has to pull himself together to go find his son. To find the witch, and sever her miserable serpent's head from her neck.
Night's fallen and Caspian is late for dinner.
"Why there you are, Cas, we - " Eustace stops at once when Caspian glances over at him.
"What's happened?" Jill's voice cuts through the air.
Roast pheasant. Caspian wants nothing to do with one of favorite dishes. Just the smell makes his stomach turn.
He can't quite answer Jill. The words bubble up his throat, but his tongue can't force them out. He'll tell them later. Later, when he's remembered how to properly speak.
Caspian makes some vague motion that he's going upstairs and to go on eating without him and leaves the dining hall. As the doors close behind him he hears Jill asking something, too softly to be meant for his ears. Puddleglum is the one to reply, with something about "can't be helped, I imagine" and "best leave His Majesty be." He'll have to thank the Marshwiggle in the morning.
But for now, the only thing he wants to do is go to his room and sort himself out well enough to continue on in the morning. Perhaps he should have mentioned that...he can send someone to tell them, when his words are returned to him.
They don't come back until the sky lightens again. Caspian's hands are well awake, and they take to pulverizing every mirror he sees. The thin scabs left from this morning's revelation break open and leave red smears on the glass shards. It's a wonder no one comes to see what all the noise is. Then again, they probably know better by now, even in Telmara.
But when the sun finally starts to lighten the sky, only numbness remains. It almost feels as if the past months happened to someone else and he's somehow stepped into a stranger's shoes. Odd, but it'll help him finish the quest. He lets this numb feeling fester as he exits his room and goes to rouse his companions. With any hope, they'll be up already.
As it turns out, they are not. Caspian goes to their rooms himself and wakes them with merciless knocks on the door. He strides inside and tries to deliver a booming good morning, but it comes out more defeated than anything. Still, it's loud enough to do the job.
"We're up, alright!" hollers Eustace from under the sheets, flailing about on the floor as he tries to disentangle himself. "Sod off, won't you!"
For her part, Jill only lets out one girlish shriek at Caspian's sudden entrance before dragging herself from bed. "Be down in a moment," she says through a yawn.
A moment turns out to be almost a quarter hour, but Caspian refrains from hurrying them. It gives him more time to pull himself together and find a way to either avoid the subject or spit it out. He finds he has little preference for which, only that they get on the road soon. Caspian has no care to see this city again.
His companions appear in the dining room just as he's swearing to never set eyes on this place as long as he lives. Everything here reminds him of Rose, and now even breakfast seems too long a venture to stay.
"Good morning." Jill's voice floats into his ears, and again Caspian feels as though he's in someone else's body.
"Good morning," he replies, quickly hiding his hands behind his back. A glance down showed him blood on his knuckles again, and he doesn't want any more questions than there'll be already.
"Cas, everything alright?"
He's beginning to agree with Rose's distaste for questions. Perhaps that's why she left, so she wouldn't have to -
Lion, he can't think about that.
Caspian clears his throat and mumbles something about the importance of eating breakfast.
"Not to be rude, Your Majesty, but shouldn't you be eating too? Best to keep up strength for these adventures, though we'll all be dead on the side of the road by tomorrow. Giants aren't terribly friendly, and might well mistake us for their next meal." Good old Puggleglum, always looking on the down side of things. Oddly, it doesn't annoy him as much as it should. If anything, the morbidity suits his mood.
"Finish up, we leave within the quarter hour."
"Shouldn't you eat something?" Jill calls after him. Caspian barely hesitates as he exits the room, saying something about not being hungry and getting their things together.
It's something beyond relief when they finally leave half an hour later.
"And we couldn't use horses why?"
"Stop whining, Pole."
"At it again, I see," chimes in Puddleglum, rubbing his hands together with something akin to glee.
Caspian, on the other hand, rubs circles into his brow with the hand not balancing his pack. They've only just gotten outside of the city, and already Jill and Eustace are at it again. He explains the lack of wisdom in taking horses into Giant country, especially so close as they'll be venturing to Harfang. It quiets Jill down, but Eustace gets curious about Harfang and starts asking what it is. Thankfully, Puddleglum again steps in before Caspian has to open his mouth.
"Some terrible place, I shouldn't wonder. Giants aren't a friendly sort. They'd as soon squash us into jelly as look at us, or perhaps bludgeon us with boulders. You never know, on these sorts of adventures."
Jill sounds positively sour as she retorts, "Why must you always be such a wet blanket, Puddleglum? I think it's not been half as bad as you say so far."
"That's the spirit, Pole, keep up your cheer. Just so, though I expect it won't last long." Somehow, Puddleglum seems positively joyous - as joyous as a Marshwiggle can be, that is - at dispensing more gloomy rantings.
"Oh stop it, Puddleglum. Honestly, it's as if - "
Caspian doesn't hear the rest. He sees a figure there across the plain, emerging from the forest. Something inside his chest twists, and he can't get air past his lips. That looks like...but no, it can't be.
"Rose? Rose!" What starts as a disbelieving whisper jolts into a shout that scrapes at his throat and leaves him hoarse. He races over the frozen ground, half sure he'll see it's not her and he'll be back to misery and missing his last friend left. But the figure lifts her head as he approaches. Lion, he must be imagining it, but his heart twists at the familiar face. But the house...
"Rose!"
He must look crazed, mad as a loon, but he races toward her anyway, toward the figure that looks like Rose and might be Rose and Lion, might it be? She looks more and more like the friend he's so sure he's lost. Perhaps the late morning sun is playing tricks, or perhaps there's no one there at all and his mind is making up Rose's face. Surely, if it really was Rose she'd be running to him too, wouldn't she? She wouldn't lift her head to meet his frantic gaze only to drop her face toward the ground once more and plod along like it was a useless enterprise. She'd be reassuring him, wouldn't she? She'd be shouting that she was alright, wouldn't she?
When at last he reaches her, this strange figure wearing the face of his closest friend, he's surer than ever he must be imagining the whole thing. For surely this can't be Rose, not the Rose he knows. This woman wears the face of unspeakable grief, the light gone from her eyes and the fire gone from her step. This can't be Rose, not unless...
Oh, Lion. Caspian skids to a stop and lays his hands on her shoulders, the last of the pieces clicking into place. Darin. This is Rose, because only one thing could have happened to make her like this. It was Darin the snake took, not Rose.
"Rose?" he whispers one more time. The stabbing chill that shoots down his spine all the way into his boots has nothing to do with the cold morning. "Are you alright?" he tries. A stupid question, but he has to hear that she'll make it, that she'll be alright.
"The Giant's Bridge?"
It takes him a while to understand what she means, but when he does he's left in awe. Such pain, and still her thought is the quest?
"We were worried," he says. Her shoulders tremble under his hands.
Dimly, Caspian realizes Eustace, Jill, and Puddleglum have caught up and are now halting only a few feet away with quizzical expressions on their faces. Yet their arrival is not lost on Rose; in an instant, she straightens and meets his gaze with a fierceness that actually makes him stumble back a step, shocked at the sudden change in her. She's somehow tucked all her grief away, hidden except in the weight that now haunts her gaze.
"We shouldn't waste time." And with nothing more than those four words, Rose steps away from him and doesn't look back.
Jill turns out to be the most sensible one when it comes to this new and colder Rose. The young girl starts chattering on about the most inane little things, from hair ties to peppermints to some ridiculous school called Experiment House. Caspian fully expected Rose to shut down the jabbering, but she surprised him - she welcomed it. Why in the name of the Lion she would, he has no idea. But in the end, it eases the burden behind her eyes, and so he's more grateful than he's yet been that Aslan sent the two children. They may not know what's going on or what happened (not that they haven't asked, but Caspian refuses to tell them) but they're the most calming influence on Rose at the moment, more so than even Caspian himself. If anything, Rose gets worse when Caspian tries to break past the strange wall that's gone up between them. He doesn't like it, yet he lets her be. If he can't be of any help, at least those two children can.
For his part, Eustace takes up a different strategy. Caspian's young friend instead chooses to reminisce of their voyage east. At first, Caspian is dubious, but he soon grows happy with the memories and the cloud over his mind eases too. Puddleglum takes it upon himself to point out the dangers of the road every now and then, sometimes supplementing with stories he's heard of Giants. A rather brainless lot, he correctly names them, but dangerous enough in some breeds to warrant caution.
Their day ends with them rapidly approaching Giant territory. They'll probably be in Ettinsmoor within a few days, but for now they can rest relatively safe. As safe as anyone can be with the witch on the loose, that is. In spite of this, Caspian still isn't quite sure about lighting a fire, so dinner that night becomes bread and smoked meat. Rose doesn't touch a thing and the haunted look comes back into her eyes as the light fades over the horizon. Caspian bites back his questions; Eustace and Jill are still awake. Perhaps he can speak with her on the night watch. He's not surprised when she volunteers for the first shift. Nor does he argue; he merely says he'll take it after her and sends Jill and Eustace to bed.
When the time for his watch comes around, Caspian wakes with relative ease. But at soon as he rises and starts over toward Rose's seated figure, she orders him away.
"Go back to sleep, Caspian," she says without turning around. "You need your rest."
"Rose – "
She cuts him off before he can even finish her name. "I'm not asking."
Right now, Caspian wishes he could see with the heart as she could. He should've asked the faeries to teach him, but somehow in all those years he never thought of it. He wishes he'd made the time.
"I know you didn't sleep last night," Rose says, a little softer than before. "Until morning."
Caspian forces himself to turn around and go back to bed. Well, he tries. But instead of sleeping as Rose has practically ordered him to do, he can only lay there and pretend as the night wears on.
Well, I think things are suitably painful. I promise I don't actually like doing this to them, it just happens because the story is actually the boss, I'm just a robot monkey typing this up.
Review!