Hi- me again. Thanks so much to those of you who have reviewed :) I apologise in advance that this chapter is a bit short, but I reckon if I tried to force it out any more it might disrupt the story line. I hope you like it :)

Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin

Chapter Ten

Merlin felt the knot of misery as it formed in his chest, quickly spreading throughout his entire body. His mind was reeling from what he had just heard. 'I hate it'. Elira's words forced themselves deep into his heart, hurting him more than he could ever have believed possible. He held back the strangled cry he could feel rising to his throat, quickly trying to steady his breathing before it gave away his pain.

"You…?"

"Hate magic."

He softened his voice as much as he could, concentrating to make sure he let none of his emotional turmoil show in his words. She seemed so sure- so certain in this point. Something must have happened to make her answer with such assuredness. "Why?"

There was a pause before she answered- her voice delicate, vulnerable. "Merlin, I can trust you, can't I?"

"Of course."

"You won't tell anyone?"

"Never." Whatever it is.

As she lifted her face, a single tear rolled down her cheek. "You remember I told you that my family had all died?"

Merlin felt his apprehension, his horror, grow more pronounced as he realised what she must be about to tell him. "Yes."

"They didn't just die. They were killed. By a sorcerer."

The young warlock's heart beat faster and faster, threatening to tear itself from his chest. His next question was short, his voice strangled. He couldn't manage more than a single word. "How?"

Elira looked down at her hands, now clasped in her lap. She drew her knees up, huddling into herself. Then she took a deep, shuddering breath, and launched into her story.

"It happened five years ago. I had been out, in the meadow near where I lived. When I was almost home, I heard voices from our house. Raised voices. There was one I didn't recognise, and my father…" She paused, wiping a tear from her face. "I was scared. I'd never heard my father this angry before. So I stayed outside, looking in through the gap in the door. There was a man there, yelling. My father was saying something about how he had a duty- how he had to tell the King of what he had seen…Of what he had heard…

But the man wouldn't stop yelling. He came closer and closer to my family. He was terrifying- screaming about he was going to liberate the land, and how my father had no right to stand in his way." She stopped for a second, closing her eyes. "The next thing I knew, he had raised his arms, and his eyes glowed golden, like they were on fire. His voice changed, and he spoke in a language I had never heard before. My entire family was thrown across the room. Again and again."

Elira clutched her head in her hands, shaking her head violently. "When he finally left, I went into the house. They were all there. My father, my mother. Even my younger brother, Fabian. There was so much blood- it was everywhere- all over the room."

Elira looked up at Merlin, shaking, and the pain in her expression was almost unbearable for him to see. He drew her into a tight hug.

"I'm so sorry." It was all he could say. "I'm so sorry." They stayed like that for a short time, until Elira calmed down enough to continue. Eventually, she drew back.

"I ended up moving in with another family. But all I could remember was their bodies, just lying there. I couldn't take it. I would dream about it every night. Dream about his face. His eyes. They were just like the man earlier. Eventually, I couldn't take it anymore. I saved up money, helping to mend clothes and other work around the village. When I had enough, I moved to Camelot. It was the only place I knew I would be safe. The one place most sorcerers fear to go."

Merlin pulled her back into his arms, stroking her hair. After a few seconds, she let it all out, crying into his shoulder, collapsing into him. He just sat there the whole time, unable to speak, pain ripping throughout his entire body. How could this be? He had finally found someone again- someone who he had believed would be able to accept him. And she was terrified of magic. Terrified of the very thing that had made him who he was. Terrified of the very thing that had given him a purpose in life- given him a destiny.

Over an hour later, the two walked back into the city. They had hardly spoken since then- Elira had cried until she could cry no more, and then they had just sat, staring at the stream.

Arriving back in the courtyard, she turned to face him.

"Thank you for today. I'm so sorry that I…"

He shook his head, forcing himself to smile. "It was no problem. Any time you need to talk, I'll be there for you."

"Thank you." She sent him a smile. "I'll see you soon?"

"Of course. Can't get rid of me."

As he watched her walk away, Merlin let the smile fade. Let his shoulders drop. He could never tell her- not now. But he couldn't bear to part from her either. He felt like he was being torn in two separate directions- destiny, or love. Could he really only have one or the other?

He waited for the next ten minutes in a quiet niche behind the stables, calming his raging emotions, making sure he would be able to put on his usual grin. But as he walked back to check on Arthur, he still couldn't shake the question from his mind. Love and destiny. Could he really not have them both? Was he going to have to choose between the two?

Waaaaah! I hate myself :'( Poor Merlin! Poor Elira! *Huddles into a pile in a cupboard*