10. Upfront

"Just hear me out. It's a good plan," said Ginny.

"Go on," said Harry with a sigh.

"You pretend to be my boyfriend. Pretend, pretend!" She repeated, seeing that Harry was about to interrupt again. "I mean, all we have to do is maybe hold hands once in a while, and send each other letters that I'd pretend are secret and lovey-dovey but are actually just boring shit. I suppose, to sell the ruse, we could occasionally pretend to make out."

Harry laughed out loud before saying, "uh-huh!"

"Yeah," Ginny replied with a laugh before acting serious, "and as a result, you get a great excuse for staying with Tonks."

"Oh that's where you were going with that."

"Well, it's a great plan, right?" Ginny asked with a grin.

Harry laughed in response before saying "No comment."

"Aw fine. Have it your way. STOP STARING AT US MUM! YOU'RE MAKING HARRY UNCOMFORTABLE."

"Uhhh."

"There we go," said Ginny in a calm voice before letting out a chuckle.

"You're just…" Harry started to say.

"Yes?"

"Well, I don't want to offend you."

Ginny laughed. "You're not gonna."

"Well, the thing that first came to my mind was crazy. But in a good way."

"Oh you! Stop." Ginny said playfully.

Harry smiled back in response.

"So what's the plan for today?" Ginny asked after a few seconds.

"Waiting for a message from McGonagall. Have to go to Hogwarts."

"Ah ok. Hey will you be coming there - to study - this year?"

"Yeah," Harry responded morosely.

"Are you being sent there against your wishes?"

"No, it's just… McGonagall made me head boy."

"Damn… you really are like Ron."

"Hey!" Harry said in a hurt tone. "I'm not sad because of that. It's because I'll have to spend a lot of time with the head girl."

"Ah! Of course she is," Ginny muttered with a quick look towards her house, before saying, "but come on. You've got a few months. You two will be back to normal by then."

"I don't know, Ginny. That doesn't really seem possible."

"It's possible. Ok, maybe not back to normal. But still much better than today."

"Well yeah, I hope so."

"Anyway, gotta go back in. Mum's waving. Thanks for telling me, Harry."

"Of course."

"I just went through like 10 emotions in two minutes," Ginny said with a chuckle.

"10? Do that many even exist?"

Ginny smiled back in response before suddenly getting a serious look on her face. She quickly walked inside, smiling at George who turned to look at her at the sound of the door opening. She went up to him and hugged him from behind, kissing him on the cheek before resting her head on his shoulder.

"Good morning!" Ginny whispered.

"Morning," said George, somehow managing a smile.

"Harry's here."

"Yes, and you seem to be making the most of it," he said to Ginny, lightly bumping his head against hers.

"Well, yeah, can't let Tonks have all the fun."

"Ginny!" Molly admonished.

"Hey George," Harry said when George turned towards him.

"Hey!" George said, losing his smile for an instant before gaining it back, "you ok?"

Harry looked surprised for a second before replying, "yeah! Yeah! I'm fine."

George smiled sadly and nodded before looking towards his mother. For a couple minutes, they stayed almost perfectly still, with only Molly working away in her kitchen. Ginny let go of him after kissing the side of his head.

"So you're living with Tonks?" George asked.

Harry nodded and said, "yeah!"

"How come?"

"Oh! Well…" said Harry, who had been fruitlessly hoping that the question would not come up. He decided against the being-a-hassle reasoning and answered half honestly, "well, to be honest with you, I think being at her place… gives me a little space? Away from Ron and Hermione, and just some time to myself. That's kinda why."

"Oh!" Harry heard from George. He noticed Mrs. Weasley giving him an intrigued look.

"Yeah, it's - it's not that big a deal, I mean, Tonks offered to let me stay there for a few days and I thought why not. Ron and Hermione have probably had enough of me after a year," Harry said with a half-hearted chuckle.

"Okay," said George, not sounding convinced by his reasoning.

Harry continued, "also I didn't wanna be a hassle to Mrs. Weasley or anyone else."

"It's fine. I understand," said George with a smirk before whispering, "if Tonks offered to let me stay with her, I'd probably say yes too."

Harry laughed.

George asked his mother, "are Ron and Hermione still sleeping?"

"I think they're both awake, but -"

"I'll go get them up. Harry?"

Harry stood up and started walking behind him. George yawned loudly as he walked up the stairs. He knocked on the door to Hermione's door. Harry decided to walk past him, saying "I'll get Ron."

Harry heard Hermione say "come in" and wondered how she was looking at the moment. Harry knocked on Ron's door, feeling a bit weird about it. It was opened by Ron almost instantly.

"Hey!" Harry said in surprise.

"Did you just ask out Ginny?"

Harry sighed before chuckling and saying, "no! She was just messing with your mum."

"Oh ok," said Ron, "I wasn't sure how to feel about it if you did."

"Yeah, don't worry, I won't," said Harry, walking back down the stairs as Ron started to follow him.

Ron audibly yawned behind him. "Aw man. I feel like I've been sleeping for two days. How's Tonks? Is she here?"

"No, at work, I think."

Ron nodded. "Why'd you -?"

"She offered, I thought her place would be more peaceful for me. That's pretty much it."

"Okay," Ron said quietly. Harry stopped outside Hermione's open door for a second before continuing down the stairs. Ron heard her talking and walked inside.

"Are they up?" Ginny asked when she saw him. He nodded in response and said, "Yep! They're all in your room. I don't know when they'll be down."

"Okay," said Ginny before walking past him and up the stairs. He heard her call his name loudly after a few seconds and groaned.

He walked into Ginny and Hermione's room to find Ron, Ginny and George sitting on Ginny's bed. Hermione was in almost exactly the same position that he had left her in the previous day. She was sitting up in her bed, hugging her knees with her blanket up to her chin.

Harry sat down at the edge of her bed and said "hey". She looked at him blankly before muttering a hello. Ginny gave him a sympathetic look while the other two looked confused by their interaction.

"What were you guys talking about?" Harry asked.

"Nothing," Ginny admitted, "just felt a bit weird without you."

Ron smirked at Harry while George gave his sister a questioning glance and asked, "we did?"

At Ginny's stern look, George quickly turned to Harry and said, "oh yeah, we missed you, Harry old chap."

Harry laughed and said "I'm gonna miss hanging out with you guys."

Harry risked a look at Hermione to find her looking at him with her head tilted to the side and a sad smile on her face. He smiled back.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ron asked. "You can still come hang out any time, can't you? Hell, I'm probably gonna be busier than you."

Ginny suddenly looked a bit scared and leaned sideways to be able to keep an eye on George who noticed and mouthed "I'm ok."

Ginny grabbed his hand anyway. Harry watched them for a few seconds sadly before responding to Ron, "yeah, I suppose you're right. Are you ok?" Harry asked, turning to Hermione.

She looked at him with wide eyes before nodding. "Ye-," she cleared her throat. "Yeah. You?"

"Pretty good," said Harry with a smile. "I actually hung out with Tonks' mum yesterday."

"Oh? Really?" Hermione asked.

"I thought you were at Hogwarts," said Ron.

"Well, we went to Hogwarts, but didn't need to spend much time there. So we ended up going to see her mum, and then shopping."

"Oh ok. How was she?" Hermione asked.

"Amazing!" Harry said enthusiastically, with a wide grin. "She is so lovely and caring and fun."

Ron and Ginny looked surprised and George said, "who knew we should be more worried about Harry fancying our mum than our sister?"

Harry laughed and then said, "uh-huh! Anyway, she's kinda the opposite of Tonks in some ways. Like she always wants me to call her by her first name."

"Andromeda?" Hermione asked.

Harry nodded before saying, "yep, or Andi! Oh by the way, I met McGonagall yesterday. You're gonna be Head Girl."

Hermione slowly nodded while Ron said, "Well, of course she is."

"Just confirming," said Harry.

George congratulated Hermione and Ginny said, "and Harry's head boy."

"Awww… Not you too!" George complained. "You were one of the good ones." He quickly turned to Hermione and explained, "it's different for you."

"Sorry, I didn't really want to" Harry told him with a smile, "McGonagall guilted me into it. Must have found out Ron wasn't coming."

Harry looked at Ron to find an angry expression on his face. Ron looked away when their eyes met.

Harry sighed and stood up. He picked up Hermione's finished plate of breakfast and said, "see you guys downstairs."

Making his way into the kitchen, Harry was welcomed with a warm smile from Molly.

"Are they up?"

"Hermione's not out of bed yet."

"Poor dear!" She said, waving her wand to take the plate from Harry and put it in the sink.

"Mrs. Weasley, I had a…" said Harry, feeling guilty about being dishonest to before, "fight, kind of, with Hermione yesterday. That's the main reason I decided to stay with Tonks instead of here. I hope you don't mind."

"Ah! I see."

"Sorry I lied before, I just don't feel comfortable talking about it yet. Besides, Ron doesn't know, and I'd rather he didn't?" Harry said, suddenly remembering his reason for lying earlier.

"Oh dear!"

"He'll get jealous and feel bad, so… I should stop talking."

"No, no, I'm glad you're not just escaping me, dear."

"Of course not, Mrs. Weasley."

"Is that what you were telling Ginny about?"

Harry nodded and with a sad smile, said, "yes, she was consoling me."

"Aw!"

"Oh!" Harry stopped himself from sharing even more when he heard footsteps coming down the stairs.

"YOU'RE NOT EVEN GOING!" They heard Hermione shout.

"YEAH, RIGHT. OTHERWISE I'M SURE -" Ron said loudly, before his voice suddenly cut off.

"Sorry," said George a few seconds later. "Thought I'd give them some privacy."

Mrs. Weasley let out a loud sigh. "There was a lot of that yesterday as well," she told Harry.

"Are you ok with him not going to Hogwarts?"

"Well, yes. I think a few years ago, I wouldn't be, but…" She looked at George and let out another sigh.

"Besides, he's your friend, so…" said Ginny.

"So?" Harry asked, confused.

"Well… That might be an advantage for him, just to make contacts, you know?" Ginny said hesitantly.

"Oh!"

"I wonder how many other students from your year would be similar actually," said George. "I mean, like Neville, he's already done most subjects. He would just needs to redo one or two before being ready for those NEWTs, right?"

"Yeah, it's just the muggleborns who missed the entire year," said Ginny.

"What about you, Gin? Would you be studying both sixth and seventh year stuff in a few subjects?" asked George.

"I don't know. Probably. I suppose I'll know when we get our letters."

Harry sighed. "Yeah."

"Oh, Harry's gonna be Head boy, mum!"

"Ohhh!" Mrs Weasley almost squealed as she came around the kitchen counter to give Harry a hug. "Congratulations dear! I'm so proud of you."

"Thanks Mrs Weasley," said Harry.

"Oh, and Hermione's Head girl," said Ginny after a few seconds.

"Oh! Well…" said Mrs Weasley, glancing towards Hermione and Ginny's room for a second, "I'll wait till she comes down."

Ginny came to sit beside Harry and whispered, "that didn't look so bad now."

"Yeah!"

"Looked like you had a fight with Ron more than Hermione."

"I should've expected that. I don't know why I made that joke."

"He's an idiot! Don't beat yourself up over it."

Harry chuckled.

Ginny sighed and whispered, "poor Hermione! I still can't believe she chose him over you!"

"Ginny!" Harry admonished quietly.

"What are you two whispering about over here?" George asked in a whisper, coming up to the two of them.

"Those two," answered Ginny, gesturing to her room.

"Ah ok. But they've always argued a lot, haven't they?"

"Yeah but shouldn't being in a relationship make a difference?"

"What now?"

"Oh! Yeah, those two are a couple now," said Ginny.

"Ohhh!"

"I thought they kinda had been for the last year, but Harry says it actually only happened a few days ago."

Harry shrugged when George looked at him in surprise.

"Oh! So that's why you're living with Tonks," said George matter-of-factly.

Harry's face showed his surprise for a second before he chuckled and said, "I had honestly thought I'd keep it a secret." He sighed and said, "but yeah, that's pretty much it."

"Is that why Ron got so mad with you just now?"

"Oh no! Ron doesn't know. And I'd rather he didn't."

"Fucking hell!"

"Language!" admonished Mrs Weasley, surprising all three of them.

"Sorry mum! Flipping heck," said George, making her smile despite herself.

"So what's the official excuse, just so we don't slip up?" George asked Harry.

"Peace and quiet!" Harry responded confidently.

"Got it," said George.

"Not a very good one, is it?" Ginny asked.

George shook his head.

"Mum, would you be ok with me fooling Ron into thinking that Harry asked me out and then decided to live with Tonks because it would be more appropriate?"

Mrs Weasley looked at her in surprise but Harry saved her from needing to respond, "I already told him I didn't."

"Aw why'd you do that? We could've had so much fun," said George.

"See?" Ginny said to Harry.

Harry shook his head before looking up at Mrs Weasley and sharing a smile with her.

Hermione came downstairs a few minutes later to find the four of them sitting silently.

"Morning," she said to the group.

Mrs Weasley quickly came over and gave her a hug. "Good morning dear, and congratulations! Head girl!"

"Thanks Mrs Weasley."

"Come have something to eat."

"Ginny already brought me some."

"Oh yes! So Ron's the only one left. Is he coming down?"

"I'm not sure. He went up to his room a few minutes ago."

"Oh ok, I'll go see if he wants me to bring him some food," said Mrs Weasley, going past Hermione and up the stairs.

"Hello," Hermione greeted the other three in a tired voice.

Harry waved with a tiny smile. Ginny asked, "you ok?"

"Yeah, just tired."

"Sorry," said Harry, getting up. "I'll get going."

"Harry! Please don't," said Hermione.

"Why not?"

Ginny kept glancing between them while George looked down for a few seconds before Hermione responded, "because I'd be hurt if you did."

"Oh! I thought the opposite would be true."

"Maybe in a few minutes. I'll let you know."

Harry shrugged and sat down. George leaned towards Ginny and whispered something in her ear. She nodded and in response to Hermione's inquisitive look, said "he guessed what happened between you three."

"Oh!"

"And possibly, Mrs Weasley did too," said Harry.

"So you knew?" Hermione asked Ginny who nodded.

"Not before you, if that's what you mean," Harry told Hermione.

"Ah! Right. Good."

"No one knew."

Hermione nodded. Ginny suddenly nudged George, got up and started walking outside, "we'll be right back."

"Shouldn't they go outside? I mean, mum might come back and they'll have to stop talking," said George while following his sister.

Harry laughed before letting out a sigh. "I'm glad he's not…"

"Catatonic?"

"What?"

Hermione shook her head. "Nothing, but I think you just caught him in a few good moments."

Harry nodded and said, "right."

They were both silent for a few seconds before Harry asked, "should I not have told you?"

"NO! You should've told me earlier."

"But I knew you liked Ron. So there was no point."

"How about being honest? God, Harry! Can you imagine what it feels like? We spent all of that time alone, and now finding out how you felt? I feel violated."

"What?"

"I'm sorry. It's -"

"No no no! What the hell is that supposed to mean? You feel violated?"

"Well," Hermione took a moment to think, suddenly afraid of what she was about to say, "I thought you were my friend. Just my friend. Knowing that we spent months, just alone with each other, with your mind filled with… those kinds of thoughts? It makes me feel… ugh," said Hermione with a shudder.

"Those kinds of thoughts?" Harry repeated very quietly.

"Just put yourself in my shoes, would you? And then imagine having to spend weeks alone in a tent with Romilda Vane. How would -"

"Romilda Vane? That's how you see me?" Harry asked quietly in a high-pitched tone.

"No, but… I don't know Harry. It's just - I feel like I don't know you."

Harry slowly nodded, suddenly feeling inexplicably calm as he focused on his own breathing.

"I'm sorry, but it's just -" said Hermione.

"No, you're right," interrupted Harry.

"No! Listen. The rational part of me doesn't even believe what I just said. It's just these horrible thoughts that keep making me mad. I don't even think I'm angry at you, I'm just angry."

"Okay," said Harry, a bit confused and unsure what to say.

"I know you, and I trust you. Of course I do. But I just keep having these horrible thoughts of you perving over me."

"I never perved over you!"

"That's what I'm saying. I don't actually believe it myself but that's what my brain keeps imagining. Like… ok, this one might even be real. But I keep thinking about all the times I've hugged you, and now I'm wondering if you wanted to kiss me whenever I did."

"I didn't. Maybe I liked and longed for your hugs more than you thought, but no… your hugs were enough for me."

"What about that time we danced?" Hermione asked quietly.

Harry took a deep breath. "Ok, that time, I was hoping that the moment wouldn't end. I wasn't directly hoping that you'll kiss me or anything. I was just hoping for something more. I wanted to make you happy, for more than just that minute, but I wasn't going to try to kiss you."

"But what else do you mean? What's something more? We were already best friends."

"That's not… I don't know how to explain it."

"Try!"

"Ok…" said Harry, continuing after a few seconds, "first, I almost never had naughty thoughts about you."

"That sounds like a lie," said Hermione matter-of-factly.

"I'm serious. I had a few weird dreams and very occasional thoughts, but I really didn't like having them. I don't really have 'sexual'," said Harry with a little shudder, looking at his hands, "thoughts all that often. Here's my most frequent thought about you. Whenever I lie down to sleep and close my eyes, I imagine you lying down behind me and just putting your arm around me. And that's it. Maybe you'd lean over and kiss my forehead. Sometimes I'd ask you if you love me, and my brain would imagine you saying yes. But that's the extent of it."

"Harry…" Hermione said softly after a few seconds.

"The problem is… After I realised that you and Ron liked each other, even those simple thoughts felt wrong. And I've been trying so hard not to have them, but I can't stop. I really want to," said Harry, meeting her eyes for a second before looking away, "and that's why I think I should keep a little distance from you. As for not telling you for so long, trust me Hermione, I was terrified of telling you. Can you imagine if I'd told you in the tent, and then that locket had affected you? What if it made you want to leave me like Ron?"

"Harry, I wouldn't -"

"I couldn't risk it. I couldn't even imagine carrying on without you."

"Harry…" said Hermione softly, coming closer to him. She sighed and said, "are we just in the middle of a silly misunderstanding right now? Because if you're just hoping for the things you mentioned just now, then you have nothing to worry about. You'll always be my best friend."

Harry shook his head, "I didn't explain it correctly then. Sorry, I don't want there to be any ambiguity." He glanced towards the stairs, making sure Ron or Mrs Weasley's footsteps weren't audible before continuing firmly, "I don't just want to be your best friend."

"Everything you just described makes it sound like you do.."

"No! I want to be the person closest to you. If that had just meant that nothing changed in our relationship, I'd be fine with it. If it meant that you'd want to kiss me and do other stuff, I'd be ok."

"Argh," moaned Hermione before saying, "why do you have to make it so complicated?"

"Sorry, I just wanted to be clear."

"Right… so you would have been fine being just my best friend as long as I didn't get a boyfriend."

"Kind of," said Harry hesitantly.

"So selfish of you," said Hermione after a few seconds in a slightly playful tone.

Harry nodded.

They were both silent for a few seconds, before Hermione said, "Mrs Weasley has been up there for a really long time, hasn't she?"

"I'm gonna guess at least one of them is crying," said Harry.

"You're probably right."

"You should go check on them. Ron would probably really appreciate if you did."

"Hmm, or he might get really angry over basically nothing again."

Harry sighed. "I shouldn't have said the Head Boy thing. As soon as I said it, I knew he'd be mad. I should've realised before I said it and stopped. Oh and congratulations, by the way."

"Thanks," said Hermione.

Again, they were silent for a while before Harry said, "You know, I think it's going to be a few months before we talk again like this."

"Is it?"

"Yes. I think it would be really good for me."

"Alright," said Hermione with a sigh, "I'm gonna miss you."

Harry smiled, "I'm gonna miss you too."

"Thanks for being so upfront today. I still haven't really processed it, but I think it will help… in some way."

"Right," said Harry, getting up, "I'll go say bye to Ginny and George."

"Not those two?" Hermione asked, gesturing towards the stairs.

"Might be awkward. I'll probably see them again in one or two days again anyway."

Hermione chuckled, "yeah, see you then."

"I'll just say hello to you and then no talking for us."

"We'll see."

"Damn it, I wanted to say bye in a sad mood," said Harry.

Hermione smiled and said in an exceptionally cheery tone, "nope, byeee!"

Harry shook his head but smiled back before heading out the door.

A/N:
I've decided that Harry's going to be asexual (romantic) in this fic.

I realise that this is an unusual decision, and sorry if it's disappointing to you (and makes you not want to read this fic), but I wanted to delve into romantic feelings and attraction to others in this fic, and I think my personal experiences as an ace would make it more honest and genuine.

Feel free to ask anything specific in the comments.