While the evil villains in their evil lair planned their evil plans…evilly, Tony and Mary trooped back to Toon Force One to continue Tony's good conduct training.
To a stranger, the communications console of Toon Force One was a hopelessly complicated panel of screens spewing forth technical jargon and more blinding lights than the Las Vegas Strip. The communicators on the royal spaceship were very powerful, capable of transmitting messages from one end of the known Toon World to the other. This panel also held the sensor array which could scan for any animal, vegetable or mineral in existence. Normally, it took two people to work the communications panel, but Mary, who was already familiar with it, didn't need any help. Scanning for Mechanicles' robot centipede head was a simple task which would only take a few minutes.
At least, it would if Tony didn't keep interrupting her.
"So, what do you think sounds better?" asked the young Toon Master. "Greetings, Your Revered Royal Princess-ship or All hail the Most Majestic Majesty?"
Mary gave an annoyed sigh and rolled her eyes. "Tony, that is way too formal for any occasion. I told you; 'Your Majesty' is fine when addressing Penny or any other member of royalty."
Tony sat backwards in the second communication panel seat, his folded arms resting on the chair backrest. "Mary, you saw the way Penny looked at me. I obviously wasn't being formal enough. You have to help me so I don't embarrass myself again." Tony let out his own frustration by slamming his palm on the console, accidentally pressing several buttons and ruining Mary's third attempt to key in the commands for the scan.
Mary closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and counted to ten before answering her friend. "I'm sorry, Tony, but we have more important things to worry about right now. Besides, you already know everything you'll need to get through the rest of the Summit."
"I'm afraid I'd have to disagree with you about that, Miss Sweet."
The two Stars turned to see Steven, the Queen's Chamberlain, standing behind them. As always, his sparse gray hair and white uniform were sleek and crisp without a hair or thread out of place.
"Steve," said Tony with a smile. "How long have you been there?"
"It's Steven, Mr. Masters," the old servant said in clipped tones. Ignoring Tony's question, he announced, "Since you are to be the Princess Penny's escort, Her Majesty, Queen Bridget, has instructed me to make sure you are up to speed on proper behavior for tonight's dinner."
"Thanks Steven, but Mary here is helping me out."
"Actually, I think that's a great idea," Mary said quickly. "Steven knows lots more about etiquette than I do. He can teach you while I scan for Mechanicles. If I find anything, Jim, Tom and I can check it out."
Tony was hesitant, but he supposed Mary had a point. He followed Steven out of the communications room and into the conference room, an oval shaped room with a long wooden table and a dozen comfortable-looking padded seats arranged around it. Low bookshelves filled with books, scrolls, and royal degrees lined the walls under a row a circular windows that allowed a person to see the surrounding countryside on both sides of the spaceship.
Tony smartly sat down in one of the chairs and confidently addressed the royal servant. "Let's do this, Steve. You can finish the training Mary started."
"It's Steven," the servant said as he settled into a chair across from Tony. "Miss Sweet may have given you an overview on correct etiquette," he sniffed, "however, I am here to tutor you on the more detailed and subtle rules of palace protocol."
"Well, how much of that is there to learn?"
"Oh, quite a bit," said Steven, handing Tony a pad and pencil for taking notes. Steven reached into his jacket and pulled out a scroll rapped with a red ribbon. He undid the ribbon and allowed the scroll to unfurl itself off the table, across the floor and out the room. The scroll bounced down the entrance stairs of Toon Force One and Tony watched out the window as the scroll rolled across the countryside and out of side. Tony then looked through the window facing the opposite direction to see the scroll rolling back towards the plane after it had looped around the planet.
"That's the second longest set of rules I've ever seen," said Tony.
"What was the longest?" asked Steven in an offhand manner.
"My High School student handbook."
Steven studied the scroll for a moment before saying, "We shall start from the beginning and work our way down. Huh-hem; Chapter 1: Table Manners. When eating soup, always take dainty sips; never slurp. Bread baskets should be passed around the table in a clockwise rotation. Remember to keep your elbows off the table and out of the butter..."
ONE AND ONE HALF HOURS LATER
"...making sure the spaghetti is cut into precisely two and three-quarter inch pieces before eating. Do not use the oyster fork when eating clams. Red gelatin should be eaten after blue gelatin, but before the green."
As Steven droned on in a monotone voice, he apparently had not noticed that Tony had stopped paying attention long ago. The Toon Master sat slumped in his chair with his head hanging forward, propped up by his arm. His chest rose and fell evenly and Steven paused in his monologue only when soft snoring indicated that his star pupil had fallen asleep.
"Mr. Master? Mr. Masters?"
Tony continued to snooze.
"MR. MASTERS!"
"The French Revolution!" Tony came awake with a start and looked around wildly, expecting to be told off by an angry history teacher. He was half right.
"Mr. Master," Steven said crossly. "I was under the impression that you wanted to learn royal etiquette."
"Oh, I do, I do," insisted Tony, wiping drool from his chin. "It's just that…"
Steven cut the boy teen off. "Fine, but we still have much ground to cover. It's time for Chapter 2: Proper Posture."
"Sounds great," said Tony halfheartedly. This lesson was turning out to be more boring than anything his High School could dream up. He had to think of a way out of this. "Listen, Steven, before we continue I have to…uh…" Tony snapped his pencil in half and tossed the half with the point over his shoulder. "I have to sharpen my pencil. I'll be right back."
Tony quickly stood up and bolted out of the conference room, unaware of Steven's disbelieving glare following him out. Quietly, Tony tiptoed down the hall of Toon Force One to the exit hatch. He glanced back up the hall; Steven was still sitting down, studying his scroll. Tony leapt down the gangplank and hid himself in the massive ship's shadow. Glancing through one of the windows, Tony could see Steven was still in the conference room. With a big grin, certain that he had pulled a fast one on the old servant, Tony turned around and found himself face to face with Steven.
"Yahh!" screamed Tony, jumping backwards. "Don't do that!"
Steven seemed not to notice Tony's surprise. "Perhaps now is a good time to discuss your wardrobe for tonight. I have been instructed to purchase some new clothes for you."
Tony looked down at the tan pants and button down shirt he was wearing. "What wrong with what I've got on now?"
"I haven't the time to recite the entire list to you, sir," said Steven. "Here." He handed Tony a piece of paper and walked away, indicating that Tony should follow him.
Tony looked carefully at the paper he had been handed. "Wow, he made an actual list."
Shopping was definitely not one of Tony's favorite pastimes, especially shopping for clothes. It was just so boring. Still, it wasn't nearly as boring as having to tag along while someone else shopped for clothes. When he was young, Tony would have to go with his mom as she went to store after store and stand quietly by the woman's changing room getting pitying looks from the other kids while his mom tried on about four thousand different outfits just so she could ultimately buy absolutely nothing. What a waste. He used to fake being sick to get his mom to take him home.
It doesn't look like I'm going to be able to get out of this shopping trip so easily, Tony thought as he watched the buildings glide past. Queen Bridget had requested – in other words, had ordered – King Gregor to make available a carriage from the Dunwyn stables for Stevens' and Tony's use since, as Steven said, the nobility never walk anywhere if they can avoid it. A good thing too, since word of the new Toon Master had reached the citizens and many of the pedestrians ran alongside the carriage, hoping to catch a glimpse of him. It made Tony very uncomfortable, which was strange; Tony didn't usually mind the attention.
The trip was made all the more unbearable by Steven who insisted they continue lessons while they traveled.
"Let us work on proper speaking," said Steven in his haughty voice. "It is important not only to say the right words, but also to say them the right way."
"The words I'd like to say probably aren't allowed in print," muttered Tony under his breath.
"How is your conjugation?" asked Steven.
Tony blinked at the old servant in surprise. "I don't know. Mom won't let me have a girlfriend until I'm at least sixteen."
"That's not what I meant," said Steven. "Can you enunciate?"
Tony folded his arms crossly and looked away, his nose in the air. "I don't think that's any of your business."
Steven was getting impatient. "No, no, you don't understand. I am trying to determine your level of grammar. Try saying this: The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plane."
"Well, they really shouldn't be flying in that kind of weather anyway."
"I give up." And Steven didn't say another word until the carriage lurched to a stop outside of the fanciest shop Tony had ever seen. Two thick marble pillars on either side of the sculpted entrance made the shop look like a Greek temple. Huge display windows boasted formal ware for men and women: gowns made with acres of fine material bordered with frilly lace stood alongside bright colored tunics and trousers stitched with gold threat. An ornate wooden sign hanging over the door – a spool of thread and needle – proclaimed to all in the kingdom that this was the finest tailor shop in the Dunwyn.
"This is where you're going to buy me clothes," asked a disbelieving Tony as he followed Steven out of the carriage.
"Of course," said the Queen's servant. "Do you not have clothing stores back home?"
"I don't think my family makes enough money to be allowed in the same zip code as a store like this."
The interior of the store was just as opulent as the exterior. The ceiling was a fresco of the Dunwyn countryside that would make Michelangelo jealous (the painter, not the ninja turtle). Thick carpeting covered every square inch of the floor, reaching from one gold-leafed wall to the other. Raised blocks stood next to triple mirrors; these areas allowed a customer to try on their selection and see it from every angle.
There were no racks of clothes, as Tony would have expected. Instead, Steven beckoned to a tall man in a flowing purple coat whom Tony guessed was the store manager. After a whispered conversation, the manager summoned several workers in plain clothes, each with a tape measure draped around their necks like scarves. The workers lead Tony through a black curtain to the changing rooms.
When Tony emerged, he was wearing one of the outfits that Steven had requested from the store manager. It immediately became apparent why Steven did not discuss the selection with Tony first; it was the ugliest thing the young Toon Master had ever seen. He was wearing lavender pants that bulged out so much he looked like a kangaroo, a vest that was a kind of tanish-green color, and a white button-down shirt with enough frills to make William Shakespeare cringe. Last of all was a shocking hot pink jacket that pinched Tony at the waist.
The store manager and Steven cast a critical eye over the uncomfortable teen stood in front of one of the triple mirrors. "Well, what do you think?" asked the manager in a high, excited voice.
Tony turned, looked the manager right in the eye and said, "You have got to be kidding me."
The manager's face dropped in disappointment. "It's the latest fashion among the Dunwyn elite. You do not like it?"
"Look at me!" exclaimed Tony, holding his arms out to the sides. "I look like a deformed balloon animal."
"Oh, but that is the finest outfit in our stock." The manager rubbed his hands together nervously and spoke delicately, not wanting to insult so important a customer. "That vest you're wearing was colored with hues from the rare Rainbow Seed Plant."
"It looks like a baby threw up on it," countered Tony.
"That jacket has a higher price than the rest of the outfit put together."
"Are you sure it came from the men's section?"
"And that shirt was hand woven from silkworms imported straight from the Chinese emperor's palace."
"Well, they wasted their time with this thing."
"That enough complaining," scolded Steven, sounding exactly like Tony's mother. "That outfit will at least allow you to look the part of an escort to the Princess of Toon World. We'll take it," he said to the manager who smiled and bowed low. The two adults went into the back to look for more outfits.
Alone, Tony forced himself to take another look in the mirror. He'd only have to wear this for one night. That's not so bad, right? Plus, he'd be able to fit in better with the nobles. That what he wanted, right?
"Maybe if I die, I won't have to go," he mumbled.
"That seems a little extreme, don't you think?"
Tony jumped so badly he almost fell off the raised step he was standing on. He looked around for the source of the voice and saw Cubbi and Tummi Gummi standing next to him.
"What are you guys doing here?" asked an astonished Toon Master. He glanced at the crowd of people passing by the shop. The windows faced away from the dressing area, so no one could see them. Still... "How did you get in here without being seen?"
Cubbi went over to another set of mirrors and pushed them away from the wall. He knocked on the wall and a small door swung slightly open. Another knock and the door closed back up, blending perfectly into the stone. "We used one of our secret passages," the young Gummi Bear explained.
Tony nodded in understanding. Of course. The Gummi Bears had a system of secret tunnels and doors throughout the entire kingdom of Dunwyn. They could appear anywhere they wanted undetected.
Tummi waddled over to Tony, staring at his ridiculous outfit the whole time. He grabbed the fabric of the pink jacket and rubbed it between his fingers. "I've never seen humans wear this kind of clothing before. At least, not all at once."
"Yeah, you look kinda silly," said Cubbi.
"I know," sighed Tony. "I'm like a jigsaw puzzle that was put together wrong. Plus, the color of this jacket totally clashes with my skin tone." Tony paused and thought hard for a moment. "Why do I know that?" He shook his head, trying to clear away such thoughts. "Anyway, did Cavin get you guys all settled in the castle?"
"Oh, yeah," said Tummi in his sleepy voice. "He found us a nice comfortable place right next to the kitchens." The blue bear licked his lips thinking of all the food he'd be able to sample.
"Tummi and I thought we'd go explore the city," said Cubbi excitedly. "We've never spent so much time in Dunwyn before."
"Neither have I," admitted Tony. "Maybe if I can get away from Steve, the three of us could..." Tony hesitated as he heard muffled footsteps coming from the back of the store. "They're coming back! You two have to get out of here."
Tummi and Cubbi bolted over to the secret passage, darted into it and moved the mirrors back into place just as Steven and the store manager appeared with many more clothes for Tony to try on. The young boy groaned in protest.
After what felt like an eternity, Tony followed Steven out of the tailor shop, his arms filled with bags and boxes of new purchases.
"Why is it…every time I meet you…I end up carrying luggage?" Tony asked Steven, grunting under the weight of the parcels. He couldn't see where he was going and thus, didn't see the thin man in ragged clothing run out of the pastry shop next door and slam into Tony, knocking them both to the ground. The parcels spilled out of Tony's hands and his new rags…clothes rather…flew everywhere.
"Watch where you're going you…" Tony started to shout, but then he got a good look at the man who hit him; it was Amin Damoolah. The dark-skinned thief did not seem to notice Tony; he was busy picking up pastries, pies, and breads that were scattered across the cobblestone street. His black hair stuck out oddly from under his turban and his hands moved at incredible speeds. He was definitely in a hurry.
"Sorry," Damoolah said without a lot of enthusiasm. "Sorry I bumped into..." It was only then that the thief looked up to see who was on the ground next to him. He jumped back, the pastries falling to the street once again. "You...you..." stammered Damoolah, his arm outstretched and pointing. "You're Tony Masters!"
"And you are Amin Damoolah," replied Tony, scowling. "My friends chased you earlier today. I want to talk to you."
It was at that moment when a portly man in a white apron and chef's hat burst out of the pastry shop door. He looked up and down the street until he spotted Damoolah. "Stop, thief! That man has stolen my best cakes!"
"Well, it was nice meeting you," said Damoolah. He shook Tony's hand roughly, scooped up his stolen goods and popped a cake into Tony's mouth. The surprised Toon Master watched Damoolah run down the street. "Bye-bye!"
Tony bit down on the cake and shouted, "Come back here...say, this is really good...you crook!"
Tony chased Damoolah down the road and into the alleyways of the city, but unlike Jim and Tom, Tony didn't know his way around Dunwyn, allowing Damoolah to get a hearty lead on the Toon Master. Still, Tony would not give up. Amin Damoolah may be the Super Star's only chance to find out about the villainous goings-on earlier that day.
Faster and faster, Tony raced on, but despite all his speed, he had completely lost sight of Damoolah.
"Oh, wow," panted Tony as he stumbled to a halt. "That little guy is faster than he looks."
It wasn't because of speed that the Agrabah thief was able to lose Tony. Damoolah had ducked inside a secret passage just like the one Cubbi and Tummi had used back in the tailor shop. And, just like that one, this passage blended in perfectly with the surrounding brown stone. But, how did the thief know it was there?
Seeing that he had shaken the Toon Master off his trail, Damoolah double-backed to the high class section of the city. If he avoided the baker shop, he might be able to swipe a few expensive trinkets. After all, a man has to make a living. Plus, there was a very important meeting he couldn't be late for.
Meanwhile, Tony was quickly getting lost in the maze of alleyways. Every turn he took was a dead end. His frustration was mounting and he was just considering transforming so he could fly up and get his bearings when a familiar voice whispered to him.
"Tony. Pssst, Tony."
Tony looked around and saw no one. When he heard the whisper again, he looked up and saw Cubbi and Tummi on the roof of a nearby building.
"That thief you were chasing went that way," whispered Cubbi, pointing to Tony's left. "Follow us."
Tony smiled and waved a silent thank you to the Bears. By following Cubbi and Tummi as they hopped from roof to roof, he made his way out of the alley maze injust a few minutes and ended up back at the shopping district. He still couldn't see Damoolah though. Tony looked up at the building roofs; the Gummi Bears had gone. He was on his own again.
"Damoolah! Where are you, you cowardly crook?"
At the moment, he was running as fast as he could. He had heard Tony's angry shout and Damoolah's only thought now was to get out of Dunwyn and fast. In his blind panic, the thief ran into yet another person – a small white-feathered girl duck in a pink dress – and knocked her to the ground.
"Waaaaahhh!" the duck balled loudly. "You pushed me down and got my new dress all dirty. Waaaahhh!"
"Oh, quite whining, kid," said Damoolah. "Or I'll give you something to really cry about."
Damoolah's threat only caused the young duck to cry even louder, drawing the attention of everyone on the street. Damoolah started to back away from the duck and the dozens of reproachful stares he was getting. He back up right into what felt like a feather pillow. He looked up to see another duck – a very large, grey-haired, angry old lady duck – scowling down at him.
"What did you do to my granddaughter?" the old duck asked in the strong voice of a governess.
Damoolah tried to act tough, even though he was terrified of this mountainous mallard before him. "Now, look here Beaky..."
"That's Mrs. Beakley to you, you scoundrel."
That was enough to break Damoolah's fragile air of confidence. He clasped his hands together before him and begged, "Please, please don't hurt me."
"I asked what you did to my granddaughter, Webigail."
"Nothing," said Damoolah. He rushed over and helped the young Webigail to her webbed feet, brushing the dust off her dress. "See, all better. No harm done. I'm very, very sorry."
"Apology accepted," said Webigail. She picked up a duck doll that was dressed in a pink dress just like her. "Now apologize to Quacky Patch for knocking her down too."
"Oh, come on," said Damoolah. "I am not apologizing to a doll."
He gulped as Mrs. Beakley bore down on him with an angry glint in her eyes.
Damoolah fell to his knees and said, "A thousand pardons oh great and forgiving Quacky Patch."
"That's better," said Webigail kindly. "We forgive you."
As Damoolah, embarrassed beyond words, was getting up, he spotted Tony appear from around a building corner at the same moment Tony saw him.
"There you are! Don't move!"
"Excuse me, ladies." And Damoolah was on his way again. Tony said a quick hello to both Webigail and Mrs. Beakley as he rushed past. Once again, Damoolah ducked into the cities alleyways, trying to lose Tony, but this time the young hero was too close. He'd catch Damoolah for sure this time. The thief turned a corner. Tony was right on his heels, his fist drawn back for a punch. Tony darted around the corner, unleashed his power and struck...a brick wall.
"Ow."
Tears leaked out of Tony's tightly shut eyes as he hopped about and messaged his scrapped hand. He didn't realize how much that would hurt without super strength. It was only when the pain subsided that the teen noticed he was standing in a dead end alleyway. Two of the walls were solid stone while the third looked to be the entrance of some kind of storage warehouse; a thick wooden door was nestled in the stone frame and the single window was covered with so much dirt, it was impossible to see through it.
Still nursing his hand, Tony searched the stone walls for more secret passages. Nothing; both walls were solid. Then, thinking that Damoolah may have scaled the walls – as was common in Agrabah – he scanned the rooftops. Nothing again. It looked like the warehouse was the only option left, so he'd have to find a way in.
Pushing against the door didn't do any good; it must have been locked from the inside. He could smash in the window and climb in that way. Could superheroes be arrested for breaking and entering while in pursuit of a villain?
He'd have to take that chance. Tony drew his Toon Sword, intending to break the glass with the hilt, but he was interrupted when Steven appeared.
"Just what do you think you are doing?" the royal servant asked angrily.
"Chasing a thief," Tony replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Didn't you see Amin Damoolah dart in here?"
"All I saw," said Stevens, "was a young boy trying to escape his duties." He grabbed Tony's shirt and hauled the young Toon Master back towards the carriage.
"But, but..." stammered Tony, pointed towards the warehouse window.
"That's enough," scolded Stevens. "Now come along, Mr. Masters, we still have to stop by the cobbler's shop to buy you six new pairs of leather loafers for tomorrow's ball."
"Why six? Won't I only need one pair?"
Steven looked outraged. "Surely you don't intent to dance with the Princess in the same shoes as you would with the minor nobility?"
"Gosh, no," said Tony, rolling his eyes. "Heaven forbid."
As Tony and Steven leave the area, a hand wiped the grime off the warehouse window and Amin Damoolah's eyes watched the hero and his servant depart. He let loose a deep sigh, but he's not alone in his relief. A second darker, colder pair of eyes was also watching.
"You almost ruined everything, you bottom feeder!" shouted Rembrant.
Damoolah cowered as the teenage villain raised his fist threateningly. "I didn't know the Toon Master was going to be near that particular baker shop."
"Months of planning nearly flushed down the drain just because you had a sugar craving."
"Even we bottom feeders get a lunch break."
"Never mind," said Rembrant. "Did you complete the task I gave you?"
Damoolah reached into his tunic and produced a tattered scroll. Rembrant grabbed it and unrolled it, squinting in the dim light. The scroll was a map of Dunwyn Castle that Igthorn had managed to draw from memory. It wasn't the castle itself that interested Rembrant, however. It was a series of lines crudely drawn by Dahmoolah to represent secret passages leading to the castle from the plains, mountains, and forest.
"I managed to find eight of them," explained the Agrabanian thief. "It wasn't easy; they're all really, really well hidden. But I, being the brilliant master thief that I am, noticed that each secret entrance had the same symbol hidden above it." Dahmoolah pointed to a corner of the map where he had drawn the symbol he saw. It was a bear's head with two round ears.
"The symbol of the Gummi Bears," breathed Rembrant. "Good work, Dahmoolah. Maybe I won't have Jafar turn you into a pile of dung after all."
"You are most generous, oh mighty Rembrant," groveled Dahmoolah on his knees.
Rembrant ignored him. He was too busy studying the map to reply. He pointed to one of the passages from the forest. "This one here looks like it goes right into the castle near the banquet hall where the ball will be held tomorrow night. Perfect. Long Feng's Dai Li agents will be providing security for the event. They can conveniently forget to guard that corridor.
"Ah...about that particular passage," Dahmoolah began. "I think it's been abandoned because it's all crumbly and the castle entrance has a lock that needs to be opened from the inside."
Rembrant didn't look the least bit worried by this news. "Not a problem. All we need is a flunky to open the door and take the blame at the same time. And I have the perfect person in mind."
8
If I din't know any better I'd say Dahmoolah would be better off as a speed bumb or a mime. This Rembrant Guy seems to be a bit more devious then your normal villan. I'm pretty sure we all know who the flunky is to open the tunnle door.