As I ran to the bathroom, I was grateful Dimitri had already walked away. I can't wait for the trials to be over with. I don't know how much more of this sickness I can take. I'm almost as bad as Lissa. I froze as the impossible truth hit me. No way.

~ Chapter 10 – In This Together ~

I was pacing in the bathroom. This couldn't be true. I was just stressed about trials and I was stressed for Lissa. I refused to believe that the impossible had become possible. I've only ever had sex with a dhampir. It's not possible for me to be pregnant, but another week had gone by and I was still getting sick all the time. I tried to make as many excuses for why I would be getting sick. I passed it off as stress and fear. I thought maybe I had caught some kind of virus. I thought of everything.

But for all the excuses I made to myself, I couldn't stop the nagging voice that said I might be pregnant. I stole a pregnancy test from Dr. Olendzki and I was pacing as I waited for the results. I can't be pregnant, this I knew. I just can't be. Two dhampirs can't make a baby. It takes three minutes for the test to get results. The seconds were dragging by.

There are two days until my trials. If I'm pregnant will I still be able to take them? I brushed that thought aside. I can't be pregnant. Two minutes.

I decided that if I am pregnant, I'm not going to tell anyone until after trials. I can protect my stomach. Even if it affects my scores, I'm good enough that it won't be significant. But it's not going to matter, because I'm not pregnant. Right?

One more minute. I feel like it's been an eternity. I don't know what I'm going to do. I can't be pregnant. It's not possible. Dimitri and I accepted that we wouldn't be able to have children with one another. Maybe I'm somehow taking the sickness from Lissa. No matter the excuses I make, I can't bring myself to believe them.

Finally the test is done. For a long time, I stare at the spot right above the result. I couldn't make myself look half a centimeter down. I was terrified I would see the positive sign that meant I was pregnant. For some reason I was also terrified that I wouldn't see it.

If I wasn't pregnant, that meant something else was wrong with me. Something else was making me sick. I looked at the results.

I fell to the ground and crawled until I got to the corner. I curled up into a ball. My eyes were open, but I wasn't able to see anything. Well that's it. My life is over. How can I be pregnant? Will Dimitri believe me when I tell him or will he think I cheated on him? I don't think I will be able to bear it if Dimitri doesn't believe me.

What am I going to do?

I quickly decided I wasn't going to tell Dimitri until after my trials. Being a guardian is too important to me. I will not lose that. If I can do both, have kids with Dimitri and be a guardian, well that's great. My dream from earlier came back to me. I could make it happen. I could have a family with Dimitri.

Something else dawned on me. This baby was a miracle. No dhampir has ever been able to reproduce with another dhampir. We're not supposed to be able to. Genetically we have been compared to mules. But Dimitri and I are different, we did it. Somehow… how did we do it?

I never thought I would want kids, because until now I never thought I could have them. I was never particularly maternal. When you're too busy learning how to punch something, you don't really get the chance to learn how to be a mother. My own mother was exhibit A. When we had been on the run, for about two weeks, we had stayed with a college student that had a three year old daughter. That little girl had Lissa wrapped around her little finger, but I hadn't known what to do. The one time I had to hold her, I think both of us were uncomfortable.

Now that I'm pregnant, I knew that I wanted that. I don't know how good of a mother I would make, but I knew this baby would have the best father in the world. I felt a goofy smile spread across my face.

I couldn't keep this to myself. I knew I had to tell someone. I can't tell a guardian because they wouldn't let me take my trials. I can't tell Dimitri because I don't think he'll believe me and I know he wouldn't let me step foot near the trials arena.

That leaves one option: Lissa. I ran to the Moroi dorms and banged on Lissa's door so hard I'm surprised I didn't break it. It was after school so I was sure Lissa would be in her room. Dimitri was going to be so pissed. I was blowing off his practice session for this. With trials two days away, practice had become even more important.

Lissa opened the door looking surprised to see me. Concern settled on her face when she took in my expression. "I need to talk to you," I said a little desperately.

Lissa stepped aside and I walked into her dorm. I sat down on her bed and she sat down next to me. "Rose what's wrong?" she asked me. She put one of her arms around my shoulder to comfort me.

Looking at the compassion in her face, I burst into tears. She was the one person that could understand what I was going through, but I was terrified to tell her. I was also terrified to be pregnant and together it was all too much. I couldn't control my emotions and I couldn't stop my tears. I was very quickly tiring of these hormones.