Cursed
The chaos began the day after the ball. Two women and a man were executed in the first week, their trials barely lasting a few days. I longed to visit CeeCee, but I dared not venture into the forest. It was not the fact that Errol Quinn had hired witchfinders to patrol the area or the fact that I may inadvertantly give away the location of the valley. It was the screams, the terrifying sounds ripped from the poor souls that the witchfinder general and his cronies subjected to unthinkable things. No one with a heart would be able to hear those cries for help and not break down.
I did not even sneak out at night to visit Jesse. It became too dangerous what with everyone's increased vigilance and I knew that Paul was waiting for an excuse to turn Jesse in to Quinn. Loathe as I am to admit it, his plan to seperate us was working. The only time Jesse and I spoke was the occasional time I was sent to the blacksmith's. I even started to attend church, not out of fear of the witchfinders, but so that I had an excuse to see Jesse. Needles to say, Father Dominic was not happy about this...he did not like the idea of Jesse and I 'meeting' under his roof, especially since I hold no religious beliefs. If the father was in a good mood he would let us enter the vestry if the monsignor was not in the church. But when I spoke to Jesse, he seemed distant and not very interested in kissing or any other form of physical contact. I was losing him, I knew it, and this hurt more than any pain that the witchfinders could inflict. Maybe he was finally realising that I was not worth risking everything for...that I was not worth risking anything for.
Three weeks passed like this, three terrible weeks. Marianne tried to comfort me, but her attempts were all in vain. She told me all that she knew about Quinn, about the three days she spent locked in a cell as she awaited her execution. Apparantly she was one of the 'lucky' victims who did not stand trial. She told me what she knew about his methods of hunting witches and how to avoid him. Somehow, I did not care about avoiding Quinn. If it meant staying away from Jesse then what was the point?
I became somewhat of an emotional wreck and Paul's constant torment did not help. He asked me to marry him again a few days after the ball and I refused him once again, putting him in a foul mood. So foul that, two weeks later, he walked up to me with an insanely happy grin on his face and asked me if I had heard the news.
"What news?" I asked, sounding bored and weary. I did not have time for his mind games.
"They found the bodies of two witchfinders in the forest," he told me. I felt my blood freeze but I did not change my expression.
"Someone finally had a lick of sense, then," I replied, smiling sweetly. He cleared his throat before continuing.
"One of them was shot and the other was stabbed," he informed me, a glint of something in his eyes. "It looked as though they had been there for a couple of months. You wouldn't happen to have had anything to do with their deaths, would you?"
I swallowed hard before I replied. I should have expected it. To tell the truth, I am amazed that it took so long for the bodies to be found. There was no evidence to suggest that Jesse and I had killed them; Jesse removed the bullet from the witchfinder's body and I wiped my knife clean. But Paul Slater always found a way.
"If you think that you can seperate us, then you are very much mistaken," I told him, sounding more confident than I felt. He chuckled at my confidence. Or lack thereof.
"Susie, Susie, Susie," he purred, moving towards me and blocking my only exit. I was trapped in the corner and my only means of escape was to duck beneath his arm. "You brought this all on yourself. Quinn will find out about the two of you eventually, and when he does...well, I won't stand in his way. If you are lucky, only one of you will be killed."
"You sicken me," I spat, trying to wriggle free as he pressed against me, forcing my body back against the wall. I only wore a thin silk dress, so I could feel all of the heat radiating off him. It was highly uncomfortable.
"Maybe," he laughed, obviously enjoying holding so much power over me. "But I could go to him right now...I could tell him that Jesse bewitched you."
A strangled sob was wrenched from my lips. He smiled in satisfaction and moved closer to me (which I did not think was possible).
"Just what I thought," he muttered to himself. "I could also make him leave. I could send him away and never allow him to return."
"And what would you want in return?" I grimaced in pain and turned my head away from him as he moved his lips towards mine. Why did the house have to be empty?
"I would say your hand in marriage," he laughed, his lips brushing lightly against my neck with every word he spoke. He brought up one of his hands and began to stroke my neck ever so gently. It made my skin tingle and burn...but not for a good reason. "But I think you have made it clear that that will never happen. So...any part of you will do."
As he spoke this last sentence he dragged his finger down my neck to my exposed cleavage and pressed one of his legs between mine. I moaned slightly as his finger swept across the top of my breast. I felt my stomach twist, but not in longing like it did when Jesse was present.
I wanted to slap him for assaulting me in such a way, but unfortunately my hand was pinned to my side by his muscular form. When I realised that for him to fit one of his legs between my own, one of mine had to be inbetween his, I was forced to take more...drastic action. I raised my left knee, eliciting a pained grunt from him as my knee slammed into a very senitive area. My plan worked and he stumbled backwards, falling to the floor with a gripping the place between his legs.
He used very colourful language to tell me off, unable to stand without groaning in pain. It served him right. He should not have attempted to take advantage of me in that way. As soon as he had pulled away from me, I had slid down the wall onto the floor. One of the thick straps of my dress had fallen off my shoulder. I no doubt looked a mess.
Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on which way you look at it) his verbal attack was cut off by a familiar voice asking what was going on.
From my spot on the floor, I jerked my head in the direction of the voice and mumbled the first thing that came into my head.
"Help me!" I groaned, throwing myself into Errol Quinn's arms. He seemed taken aback, but gripped my arm to prevent me from falling nonetheless.
"What is going on?" he repeated, his voice hard and cold. I prayed that my performance was outstanding, otherwise I would be dragged down to the old miller's cottage to stand 'trial'.
"He...he tried to...!" I sobbed, pointing at Paul, who had somehow pulled himself to his feet.
"I startled her," Paul explained, smiling at the witchfinder general. "She has been unnerved as of late. Someone has been...tormenting her."
I fought back the urge to shout "yes...you!" and agreed with the excuses that Paul fed Quinn. I know that Paul was saving my life, but that did not make it easier for me to agree with him.
It became even harder when Quinn turned to me and assured me that the person responsible for my torment would be found and punished.
I could not look into his cold grey eyes as he spoke. He acted so nice, but I knew who - or, more aptly, what - he was. He was only nice to me because I come from a wealthy family. The only language he speaks is money...and pain.
"I would like to speak to you, Mr. Slater," Quinn stated, turning away from me so quickly that I was startled. "Aboout our payment."
Paul smiled that fake smile he uses so often and signalled for Quinn to enter the dining room.
"Of course," he said, throwing me a devious look before slamming the doors closed behind him.
It was then that I realised I had been holding my breath, so I exhaled and closed my eyes, failing to realise how close I had come to making Errol Quinn an enemy.
I made the most of the time I had (knowing that both Paul and Quinn were occupied) by taking a carriage down to the village to see Jesse. I was still shaken from my encounter with Paul and if one person could calm me, it was Jesse. The journey to the village seemed longer than usual, due to my nerves. I could still feel Paul's fingertips against my skin and the fear that this small action caused me to feel. Paul is a vile, loathsome creature, just like Quinn. At one time I actually believed that Paul had some good in him, he only lacked the ability to use it. Then he took advantage of my good nature and kissed me.
The village was unusually quiet due to Quinn's reign of terror. The people who did venture out of their houses acted too proper and too polite. This was not the village that I grew up in. This was hell in comparison.
Harold was surprised to see me when I entered the blacksmith's shop but he knew that I had came to see Jesse, not him. Harold found out about our relationship a week or two ago and swore not to tell a soul. I trusted Harold completely. After all, he was my father's best friend. He has risked his own life to help my family in the past.
Jesse was also surprised to see me, though his reaction differed from Harold's. He did not look pleased to see me for some reason.
"I just thought that I would visit you while I had the chance," I explained, assuming that his less-than-pleased reaction to my appearance was because I had snuck out to see him again. Oh, how wrong I was.
After greeting me, he returned to work, sorting various pieces of metal into different piles. Why was he acting so cold?
"Jesse," I spoke, moving closer to him and placing a hand on his arm. He suddenly froze, his eyes glued to one of the pieces of metal as I wrapped my fingers around his upper arm. "I thought that you would be glad to see me."
He finally met my gaze and I saw the pain in his eyes. What I did not understand was why it was there. I placed a hand on his cheek, ready to wipe away the tears that were threatening to show. He allowed my hand to rest there for a few moments before one of his hands came up to hold my wrist in a grip so strong that I was sure it would leave a mark.
"Susannah," he said softly, his grip not loosening. "We can't go on like this."
I wrenched my hand from his grip (which was becoming painful) and dicovered that it had left a mark. I was beginning to shake slightly; Jesse is never like this.
"Jesse, what are you talking about?" I demanded. I know that things between us have been different since Quinn's arrival, but there was no need for him to act like this.
I tried to move closer to him, inviting him to wrap his arms around me, but he didn't. He just continued to look at me with pain in his eyes. Maybe this was it. I knew that I was losing him, but somehow I didn't think that I actually would. I had promised myself that if this day ever came, I would be strong and not break down or beg him to stay. But that was then and this is now. I did not want to lose him. He was the only source of comfort I had.
"Susannah, I think that we should end this," he said. He was trying so hard to remain confident but his voice betrayed him. It shook, signalling that he did not want to say these words. Was this some pathetic attempt to keep me safe?
"Jesse, you don't mean that," I said, trying to laugh but not quite managing it. Jesse turned from me and pretended to be highly interested in a blemish on the floor. He was trying to act cold, I knew it, but his body language was all wrong. He seemed torn between taking me into his arms and throwing me out onto the street.
"I do," he told me, still not turning back around. "Susannah, I...I don't love you anymore."
I actually did laugh this time, though it was only to hide my shock. I took a step toward him and once again placed a hand on his arm. I felt his muscles tense beneath my finger, showing that my touch still affected him.
"Say that again and I might believe you," I told him, more confident now that I knew he was lying. "And this time, try to look me in the eyes when you speak."
He slowly turned to face me and his dark, loving eyes met my nervous green ones.
"Susannah, I don't-" he started to say. As soon as he spoke, the knot in my stomach returned, loosening only when he broke off. He tore his eyes away from mine and closed them, moisture gathering beneath his lids.
"Jesse," I whispered, holding out an arm to prevent him from turning away again. "I know that this is hard. But we will get through it. We have to. If you leave me, I don't know what I will do. I will probably be forced into marrying Paul and...do you know what he did to me today? He had the audacity to ask me to...well, he asked me to do something that I would never consider. Not with him. He threatened you, too. He said that if I slept with him, he would forget all about us and send Quinn home. Do you see why I need you now? I can't cope with all of this on my own. I need you."
A flicker of something violent was momentarily visible in his eyes after I had spoken.
"Susannah," he choked, obviously biting back some foul language to describe Paul. "Querida, you can't- Where do we go from here? We have no future. We can't marry, we can't have children. All that this relationship will amount to is heartache. Surely you can see that?"
Of course I can see that. I think about our future, or lack thereof, all of the time. It hurts to know that we have gone as far as we can.
"Not here," I muttered, unaware of what was on my mind until I spoke. "We could leave. Together. We could go far away from here."
Jesse laughed at this. He still would not touch me, but at least he was smiling now. And calling me 'querida'.
"Where would we go?" he asked, finding the whole idea ludicrous for some reason. "What would you tell your family?"
"Anywhere!" I replied. "Somewhere nobody knows who we are. Somewhere we can be together without having to sneak around. I am sick and tired of pretending that I am not in love! My family does not need to know...they will only hold us down."
I was so excited by the prospect of being somewhere Jesse and I could be together properly I did not stop to consider what it meant giving up. I knew that it would never happen, but somewhere along the line I had forgotten where fantasy ended and reality began.
"Susannah, as much as I would love that, it just is not an option," he told me, bringing me back down to reality. "You have too much to lose here. And I ran away from my life, remember? I ran away because I was ashamed of what I had done...of what I had become. Things are different here. I have a life I am satisfied with and I have you. I am not ashamed of you, querida, therefore I will not run away again."
I sighed in slight disappointment. The thought of being somewhere nobody judged us made me hapier than I have ever been. But I knew that wherever we went, we were still at risk. The only place we would truly be safe was in the valley. But, unfortunately, the valley was out of bounds for the time being.
For the first time since I had arrived, Jesse moved towards me. He placed a hand on my cheek and gazed longingly into my eyes. I could tell that the prospect of being with me properly was appealing to him, too, but he is a man and has his pride to think of. And, he does not want me to 'throw away' my high-class lifestyle.
He moved closer to me, lowering his head so that he could kiss me briefly. But brief was not good enough for me...as soon as his lips touched mine, I pulled him into me and allowed my hand to explore the area beneath his shirt (once I had untucked it from the waistband of his pants). I felt the kiss all the way down to...to that place. I felt Jesse's hand begin to do some exploring of its own, moving down from my cheek to my neck until I could feel his fingers dance along my collar bone. I pushed myself closer to him, but this only served to stoke the fire that burned inside us both. I felt his hand move lower and lower until it pushed aside the material of my dress. I moaned into the kiss, encouraging him as I dragged my fingernails down his muscular abdomen.
"Any part of you will do."
Suddenly shocked, I brought my hand up and then sent it down hard into my assailant's neck.
He stumbled back, letting out a small, startled yell, a hand pressed where my hand had collided with his jugular. That was when I realised what I had done.
"Oh, no," I muttered, rushing over to him, apologising profusely. He grimaced as I checked his injury, which turned out to be superficial. There was a large red mark on his neck, but I am sure that it hurt a lot worse than it looked.
"I am sorry," I apologised once again. "I don't know what came over me."
Jesse attempted to smile, but the pain was obviously too much, so I began to apologise again.
"It is alright," he assured me. "I should not have taken advantage of you like that. Most women would do the same. Although most women do not put as much force behind their assault."
I laughed, soothing the tension between us.
"I am sorry," I repeated. "I just...I heard Paul's voice in my head and for a split-second, I thought that you were- Never mind. I...I had better leave now."
I stood on my toes and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek, which he seemed to appreciate.
"Just promise me that you will be here when I get the chance to see you," I laughed.
"There is no place I would rather be, querida," he replied, massaging his neck.
The smile that this comment brought to my face lasted all the way back to the mansion. The carriage driver laughed at me, but I did not care. Because Jesse did still love me, as he proved with his pathetic attempt to 'save' me.
Another thing that brought a smile to my face was the frown that Paul wore when I saw him upon arriving at the mansion. I guess that Quinn asked for more money than Paul was willing to give. His expression softened somewhat when he saw me, tough his eyes remained as hard and cold as they always are.
In that instant, one thing happened that caused my newly-revived heart to stop beating once more. Paul's eyes drifted from my own down to my chest and suddenly his expression changed from one of irritation to one of fury. When I looked down, I saw why. On the top of my right breast lay a black smudge. A black smudge no doubt left by the coal on Jesse's roaming hand. When I looked at Paul once more, I saw hatred in his eyes...pure hatred. When he walked past me, he made sure that he bumped into me, bringing himself close enough for me to hear what he whispered.
"I hope you said goodbye to your lover when you left."
AN - Phew...the last part of that chapter kind of...um...got deleted when it didn't save properly. So excuse the quality, I was in a rush to finish it off :). I just wanted to get the fluff out of the way so that I can get on with the...um...'Paul'. I have been wanting to write an Evil Paul for so long :). I actually wanted Jesse's attempt to break up with Suze sound more pathetic than it did, heh :).
As far as progress goes, I am almost half way through now. Almost. Though I did not have a chapter number in mind when I started this story, it will be a little bit longer than I intended, thanks to a new idea I got...an idea you are probably going to hate me for, heh. I also cut out a part with the valley people for another idea (which will probably add another chapter or two onto the story) but they will still play a part. This story is really strange to me, because most of it was inspired by music...it is loosely based on an original idea I had which I turned into a Mediator fic. A couple of the songs are gone and my favourite (!) is coming soon. And the reason it is strange is that it is the music that inspired me...not the lyrics, so haha, even if you figure out which songs, you still won't know what I am going to do :). You can probably tell what one of them is from something Suze says in this chapter ;).
One last thing (I swear!)...THANK YOU to all of my reviewers...last chapter's response was great! I may not be able to update properly for a week or two (school is starting again), but I will try and go through all of my stories to correct any spelling/grammar mistakes (OTG especially needs a good going through), but keep up with the reviews and I might find a spare lesson or two to work on a new chapter ;). Apologies for mistakes in this chapter, like I said I am trying to sort through everything, so I will get to it eventually :).
Keep safe ;)