WORLD TEACHER AWARD

PART 10

On Friday the chaps went to Spring Garden Dragon restaurant in China Town, Diagon Alley, and asked to see the menue.

"Apparently they serve real authentic dishes here," said James. "Not just the spring rolls and fried rice stuff. Like, proper Chinese dishes."

A waitor came and brought them a menu.

"Well let's have a look," said Sirius. "Buddha Jumps Over The Wall. You can tell it's real when they have weird names."

"Lao Tzu Skips Over The Sandcastle"
"Konfucius Flies Over The Loo."

"Emperor Ming Hops Over The Compost Heap."

"Actually," said the waitor, a Mr Wu Li. "There's been an error with the translation. You see, the characters meaning 'Emperor Ming Hops Over The Compost Heap' also mean fried shrimp and spring onions."

"Ohh."

"So, see anything you like?"

"Do you have anything with, I don't know, a peekaboo?!" James shone a light at Mr Wu Li's face.
"What?"

"A petty shoe!"

"What he meant to say," said Sirius. "Is that we're looking for Peggy Sue!"

"In that case, there's a record shop on Staker Street," replied Mr Wu Li.

"Actually," said Remus. "I think it's... pixiu"

"That's right, a pee shoe!" said James.

"Pixiu"

"A pixie jew!"

"Again with the racism!" said Sirius.

"So," said Remus. "Do you know where there are pixius?"

"We want to see your pics of juice!"

"How about you quiet down?"

The waitor lowevered his voice. "Do you mean pixiu the winged lion hybrid, or pixiu, a kind of invite to your mother in law for some tea over which to confess you having brought dischonour over the ancestors for having an affair with your wife's twin sister?"

"Exactly!" said Sirius.

"The first one," said Remus.

"Oh I see," said Mr Wu Li, and lowered his voice even more. "What are you, aurors?"

"Do we look like aurors?" James asked.

"Ok, orphans?"
"No."

"The health inspector?"

"Do we look like the health inspector?"

"Their orphans?"

"We're not orphans!"

"The ingredients is fresh I tell you!"
He sure was stubborn. Stubborn and fearful.

"We're activists, ok?" said Sirius. "We're from the Beast Rights and Appropriate Treatment Squad!"

"Activists? Well, in that case, sod off! I'm trying to run a business here you ruddy hippies!"

"And we can do this with or without spray paint."

Sirius shook a fresh can. He always carried one with him.

They were three to one. The waitor probably saw them as four to one, so he made them promise they wouldn't spraypaint genitals allover his restaurant.

Then he showed them to a room that looked like the Diagon Alley Aquarium. A kappa swam around in a tank.

"We do sushi as well," he explained as he led them further.

"Here it is."

The pixiu was pacing around in a large cage. It was a lot bigger than any of the chaps had anticipated, the size of an actual lion but with a dragon's head and wings, and completely white fur.

"The pixiu is a delicacy," sair Mr Wu Li. "It's considered to be the cleanliest of all beasts."

Well he hadn't seen their dorm. Sure, the floor was a mess, but the tanks and window was sparkling, and not because any house elf ever set foot in there.

"The back toe alone is very expensive. And it's the cheapest part."

"I would have thought the sphincter was the cheapest part," said James.

"You couldn't be more far off. Anyway, you've seen it. Anything else I can show you?"

"No we'll just take it and leave," said Sirius.

"I don't think so. There's the price tag. It is hugely expensive. I doubt that, even with your pricy shoes, you would consider that a bargain. Besides, I never met an activist that paid."

"When you see how we've spray painted the restaurant tomorrow, and what it will cost you to remove the genitals, you'll wish you'd just let us have it."

"I've already summoned aurors. They'll be here any minute."

"Oh, really? I think you'll find they're understaffed and to their knees in paper work."

"We have very posh guests from the Death Eaters and the Tojours Fromage alike, so I think you'll find," he paused, so they could hear sirens. "They'll be here in less than any minute."

James stupefied Mr Wu Li and searched his robes for his keys. Then he tried them all on the multiple locks on the cage until the door opened. Remus collected it in an empty vending toy capsule and they all escaped through a window.