A/N: I've received requests from reviewers, friends, and even my husband to keep this story going! I have to say, thank you so much for the support and the positive comments. I really appreciate you guys taking the time to review, it means a lot! With that being said, please enjoy the next chapter!

Chapter 10

It's interesting, when I truly think about it; the fact that less than a month ago I was trying so hard to convince myself I wasn't gay, and now I'm fucking Craig Tucker on the regular. I can't help it really, he's just so… irresistible. I find myself lusting after him constantly. It's been 2 weeks since we fucked in his car for the first time, and now we are sort of 'on call' for one another. If either one of us is in need of some release, we are just a text away. We've gotten smart about it, memorizing each other's home life; when parents are at work, when they are in bed, etc. I haven't skipped school since, though Craig occasionally still tries to get me to ditch with him. I've told him I can't afford to miss class, or I risk failing. He seems to understand despite his 'fuck the world' attitude.

Still, though I know I'm gay, there are some things I've been avoiding emotionally. Like my feelings for Craig for example. Do I love Craig? No. Is he hot as fuck and an amazing lay? Absolutely. Also, Kyle… I haven't spoken to him much, though he is trying. He's still my best friend, at least I hope, and I at least owe him some type of explanation to my behavior, right? It's not just Kyle though, it's everyone. Since Craig and I have become fuck buddies, if that's what you want to call it, I haven't really spoken to anyone; Not Kyle, Not Wendy, Not even Kenny. I know that I'm easy to read and if I allow myself to be around others, it could cause a serious damper on my current lifestyle. I know most people would say that having a fuck buddy would do more bad than good, and I honestly don't want to hear it. I am happy where I'm at… at least I'm pretty sure I am.

My phone buzzes for what feels like the hundredth time. I roll my eyes and look at the screen. It's Kyle, he's calling for the third time today. I hit ignore and lay back on my bed, not wanting to talk to him, not yet. It's Saturday night after all and I want to enjoy some time to myself. Hell, I haven't even changed out of my pajamas from last night; which happen to only be my boxers and a t-shirt but whatever. I want to relax, and let my mind flow. I look down at my arm and still see that my wounds have not faded. Craig told me that unfortunately most of them would probably scar, the KB for certain. We don't really talk about the self-mutilation, there is no need. He told me that he no longer has urges now that he has me, and I haven't felt any sort of need since the first and only time I had done it. I realize how stupid I was. Yes, it made me feel better, but at the same time…the KB? Really? Now I'll forever remember how my first love completely crushed me. I try to make myself feel better, and look down at the shirt I'm wearing. The shirt isn't mine, it's Craig's. It's big on me, and smells like him. It makes me feel good to know that he left it here intentionally, so I could wear it and remember that he's my play thing, as I'm also his. The shirt has an anime girl on it, from some show I can't remember. Craig is really into anime, but I can't make myself get into it. I find it hard to watch a show and read the subtitles at the same time. Still, the fact that this shirt is so obviously his makes me smile a bit. Then I start to wonder again… Do fuck buddies really leave clothes with one another? Isn't that more of a boyfriend thing? I sigh and lay down on the bed, letting my mind wonder until I fall unconscious.

I'm awoken from my slumber when I hear my window slide open. I peak at my alarm clock and it's 1:30 in the morning. If Craig comes by, he usually comes around this time. I smirk to myself and decide I'm going to pretend to be asleep, and roll over so I'm facing the wall. He comes through the window and I'm welcomed with the smell of a freshly smoked cigarette, a smell that my senses now associate with sex and I'm immediately turned on. I smile to myself, knowing I'm about to get some. I hear him creep across the room and then feel his presence leaning over me from the side of the bed.

"Stan, are you awake?"

My heart feels like it's being stabbed, which is not what it does when I'm around Craig. I sit up as quickly as my body allows.

"Kyle?" I click on my lamp "What the fuck are you doing here?"

He looks down at me from where he stands, "You've been ignoring my texts and calls, I was getting worried."

"Well, you don't need to be, I'm fine."

"I just wanted to make sure because we haven't really talked since you and I… well… you know… and I just wanted to make sure that we were cool and that you understand why things couldn't work… and…"

He continues to babble and it's making me more and more angry. I don't want to deal with this right now, not tonight.

"I'm not in the mood to talk right now. You can go now" I point back at the window, and his eyes shoot open.

"Dude… What. The. Fuck?!" he says, and I now notice that he's pointing at my arm that I just stupidly extended toward the window.

"Shit" I mumble as I pull my arm to my chest, preventing him from looking any longer.

"What the fuck did you do?" he exclaims as he sits down and yanks my arm away from me by the wrist.

I try to pull away but he just keeps yanking every time I do, refusing to let me get out of this one.

"It's all over and done with. It happened over 2 weeks ago, it was stupid and I don't plan on doing it again, okay? Can I have my arm back now please?" I try to pull away again, put to no avail.

"Stan, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize that you were that bad. I didn't realize that by rejecting you that you would… do that." He looks down and I can tell he's beating himself up.

"I'm over it Kyle" I say, trying the best I can to keep my voice down. I'm getting angry, because I don't want to talk about it. I want to be over it, but I don't know if I truly am.

He holds my wrist in his right hand and starts running his left thumb over the healing cuts. Then I feel something wet drip onto my arm, he's crying. I made him cry. He's hurting because I'm hurting. How could I ever doubt that he loves me?... even if it is only platonic. Then he finally lets go of my arm and moves his hands up to cup my face. He looks me dead in the eyes and starts to bring his face to mine, his lips mere inches away from mine, and I can tell that he's going to try to kiss me. Before I let him make that mistake, I back away.

"What are you doing?" I ask, concerned.

"I want to be there for you Stan. I know that you long for me, and I just want to make you happy, no matter what it takes. I don't want to be the reason you cause yourself harm." He leans in to kiss me again, and I pull back once again.

"Kyle, I can't let you do this."

"But I want to Stan."

"Kyle, I appreciate what you're trying to do, but ignoring who you are is something that I've learned is never a good thing. Kyle, you're straight. I don't want you to sacrifice your own happiness and identity just because you think it's something that will make me happy. We both need to be true to ourselves. I promise I will be fine. I won't do it again, I have no urge. I regret doing it the first time."

He nods, "You're right, it's just… I miss you. I have no idea what's going on with you and then I find out that you are doing things that are so unlike you. I mean look at you, you're wearing an anime shirt for God's sakes. Stan, you hate anime."

"Oh" is all I can say, though I'm happy for an opportunity to change the subject. "Um, it's- it's not mine."

"Well whose is-"

Kyle is interrupted by my window coming open again. Craig comes through the window and starts to speak before he realizes that we aren't alone.

"My parents are such pricks, I'm so pissed! Man, I could use a nice BJ to get my mind off of-" then he stops when he sees Kyle, and his eyes shoot open.

Kyle seems to mirror his shocked expression as he glances quickly between Craig and I, and I see something click in his brain.

"Oh…"

End Ch 10