THE SNEAKEASY
PART 10
The halls and corridors seemed quieter than ever in the evenings now. Many prefects like to hide near the kitchen, like vultures, waiting for the unsuspecting to get their tea. Then they'd stalk their prey, waiting for them to spill, sometimes even putting on scary masks and frightening them so they'd mess down the floor.
Yeah... Letting prefects take points had really been a shite idea.
But Remus didn't want to confiscate any more tea. It made him feel like a hypocrite, because he liked tea. But also because of Sirius's words at the Sneakeasy a few nights ago. Words that would not stop haunting his mind.
He wondered if Dumbledore really would think less of him if he reported the Sneakeasy. Would he find it self-righteous, and think that he was only doing it for a trip to Canada and not out of proper good? That he was just being a suck-up?
Nobody had gotten hurt, after all. At least not so far.
Here he was, willing to fulfill his responsibilities for once, and all he saw before him was Dumbledore disappointed, seeing through him, seeing his desire for prestige, seeing that he had no clue about right and wrong beyond the rule book.
"Did you know the Sneakeasy has been moved?" Mac asked.
"No. Has it?"
"Cas told me. There are moments when I question my own motifs. Then there are moment when I really want to report her. Now is one of those moments. There are moments when I can't actually see why it would be proper to do so. Then there are moments when it's glaringly obvious."
"How is it glaringly obvious?"
"It wasn't glaringly obvious when I was trying to weigh the pros against the cons. But then it hit me. The Rule Book was written by people smarter than me. I'd have to be pretty arrogant to think that I know better."
"Sure. But not all rules and smart."
"Which rules to you mean?"
"Well, I don't know, like, you know...The one about..," Squeak. "no bubblegum...In the classroom..."
Damn, was that suspicious? Why couldn't he keep his rubber toy in his mouth?
"Well, I mean," said Mac. "It's about respect, innit? It's like, if we can have cats owls and toads here, why no hamsters? Because if they start making exceptions, you know... Yetis everywhere. "
Well, what would be so wrong with yetis everywhere?"
"Yetis are really harmless."
"That may be, but the shedding. You're a bloke so you can't relate to this at all, but you should see what the bathroom looks like after Cas has trimmed her fringe."
But Remus could relate better than she thought.
He had seen what the bathroom looked like after Sirius had trimmed his fringe.
"Cas tells me they're so responsible and everything," said Mac. "And I believe her. But it's Professor McGonagall that has to know what's going on at all times, in case something happens."
Well damn, now it really was glaringly obvious, at least for the time being. Here were all the arguments that had escaped Remus last, and he just knew they'd escape him again in the future.
He began to wonder just where they had managed to wander off. He was so distracted by looking for clues in his surroundings he almost walked into Professor Dumbledore.
"Professord Dumbledore!" said he and Mac, surprised at the surprise encounter.
"Good evening!" he said.
"Good evening, sir!"
"Did you know that I can become invisible?"
"Can you?" Mac asked. "May I ask how?"
"Decades of training. And you? Are you prefecting hard or hardly prefecting?"
It was the latter, sadly enough.
"Well, actually," said Mac. "We're struggling with conflicting loyalties."
Dumbledore nodded. "Ohhh... Yes. How?"
"Uhm well we want to be loyal to our friends even though sometimes they do horrible things. But we also want to be loyal to you and Professor McGonagall, and earn the faith you've put in us."
"That sounds like quite the conundrum! Would you like me to tell you some inspirational story about myself that relates to your problem and offers, if not a solution, a better perspective?"
"Yes please!"
"Ok! Well, A very long time ago I had this, erm, friend. I was head over heels...friends with this chap. So much so I didn't know what I was doing half the time, all I saw was his smile...
But he was terrible, and he made me do terrible things and the only way to get his approval was by doing what he wanted. And all he ever wanted to do was serve his own motifs. By following his every whim I thought I was doing the good thing, the right thing. I thought I was just being loyal. But I wasn't doing anybody any favour, not me, not him, not all the people that died... a little on the inside. The thing is that I always knew we were doing bad things, it's not like it ever came as a shock. But for some irrational reason I believe his words over my own judgment. He was manipulative and made me doubt myself. That's just the sort of thing some people need to process a long time before they see it. Seems so obvious, with some distance..."
Somehow this seemed like something he needed to take up with his therapist. Remus couldn't say he much enjoyed this story at all.
"That was an extreme example, 'though," said Dumbledore. "The rules are there to keep things safe and orderly, and the best way to be loyal is to keep your friends out of trouble. I just can not wrap my head around the opposite being true. Getting your friends in trouble isn't loyalty at all in fact it's a very unwholesome friendship. So, did that help at all?"
Not really.