(Dez)

It's the moment of truth now, and I don't like it too much. Charon and I, we're going to The Pitt. We decided that yesterday, after he took two days rest and a day to eat like he was half-starved. The Pitt, I said, and he agreed. He wasn't with me, when I went the first time, so obvious concerns were talked about. Like Trog, and the air toxins, and if they'd help and blah, blah, blah. I told him that there was probably a cure for Trog by now, and the toxins probably aren't as bad as they were five years ago, and that Wernher owes me a huge favor. So of course, he'll have to help me. Or us. I keep forgetting Charon's in as much trouble as I am, too.

I even forget he's here. Not in a bad way, just…in a way I would simply forget things. I suppose, that's bad. Well…well it's hard. It's hard right now, to articulate how I'm feeling. With Gob telling me to go and that it's best, and Charon loving me just as much as he ever did…and me. Me, unsure if leaving is right, and if loving Charon back is wrong. I know things between us, won't be the same, and eventually I'll have to open up about Gob, but not right now. I want to take things slow, and let my body recover and regenerate from everything right now. If you jump into foolish emotions too soon, then you end up worse than you were before. I know Charon. He'll think something's up, but he won't pry. And when I wake up and realize what I truly want, he'll be there to understand it all. It's just…right now, it's really hard.

Gob holds Zack in his arms, as Charon stands beside me. We're outside Megaton, at the gates, ready to go, but no one is really moving. It's an uneasy silence, and Charon puts his arm around me to comfort me. It just makes me feel worse. I bite my lip, looking up at him.

"Alright. Alright we have to go now."

I tell him, and he nods. Looking over at Gob, I sigh. I have to say goodbye now. I have to tell him I'm leaving him, and that I might not come back. If the Outcasts want me bad enough, eventually they're going to find me. When they do…depending on how I feel…I'm not sure what will happen. I'm not sure, if right now, I want to say goodbye to Gob. But I have to, because it's for the best. Staying…staying would just put him in danger. To my honest and loyal friend, I can't do that. I simply can't.

"I'll miss you."

I say as I wrap my arms around his shoulders. He leans in, hugging me with one arm while the other supports Zack.

"I'll miss you too, kid. But I know you'll be back here. This lug will make sure of that."

Charon grunts in response behind me. He's eager to go. Since he woke up, he's been worried about the Outcasts finding out he duped them and coming here to attack us. I say he just worries too much, that's all. Taking a small step back from Gob, I keep my arms around him as I take one last look at him. I smile, and give him a quick, small, peck on the lips. It's nothing serious, although I want it to be. It's just enough to make me feel better, and innocent enough to look as if we're two friends saying goodbye. Gob made me swear I wouldn't tell Charon right away about me and him, and that I'd really take the time to think about everything before making a choice. Gob said that he thinks it's best for us to forget the three months we spent with one another, and continue on as if it never happened. I think…I think he's wrong. I think for those three months, that he kept me as calm and as safe as he could, was the best new feeling I could ever feel. After all, I've felt so many different things, since I left the vault, that sometimes a small, slow, nice and comforting emotion is better than all of them. When you're so tired of being me, it's nice, to take a break. I want to remember those three months, and I want him to remember, too.

"Goodbye, Gob."

I say as I step away, and turn to face Charon. He has his arms folded, his eyes quietly scanning the area around us. I go up and touch his arm. He looks down at me, and strokes mine.

"Ready?"

Charon asks, and I nod. He looks at Gob, and raises his hand to wave goodbye. Then…then we're off. As we walk away, I walk in silence. I don't have much to say to Charon, as the pain of leaving Gob behind grows with every step we take away from Megaton. I want to look back, but I don't, because it's too much for me to bear right now.

"Dez?"

I keep my eyes focused on the ground. Rocks, dirt, pebbles, a dead bush. It's nothing new, it's all the same. The same, just like a home should be.

"Dez?"

My feet come into my view with every step I take. The old, worn, and graying boots I wear protect my feet from the sharp rocks and hard dirt. I don't know, really, what I would do without shoes.

"Dezbe?"

Blinking, I look up at Charon.

"What?"

"You should pull up the map, so we're not walking in circles."

"Oh, oh right, yeah."

I haven't used my Pip-Boy much. In fact, I haven't used it at all since he left. Pressing a few buttons, I watch as the screen lights up to life, as if an old friend has come back. I smile at the screen. I've missed this part. The part where I find the map, where the adventure starts. Maybe, maybe this trip won't be so bad. In a few days time, maybe I'll even be back to the Dez I was before Charon and I were chased from Tenpenny Tower. That wouldn't be so bad, but it's a serious 'maybe'.

"It'll take like, four or five days to get there."

I tell Charon, as I set a map marker on my compass. It loads, and the arrow tells me we're going in the right direction.

"We should stay alert, then. By now, the Outcasts have probably grown in numbers."

"Yeah, probably."

"We won't make a fire at night, unless we have to. Don't want to be seen."

Letting my Pip-Boy fall to my side, I look up at the sky. There are these big, angry looking clouds up in the distance, and I raise an eyebrow to them. I've never seen clouds like that before. I'm not going to worry about that, though. There's bigger things I need to be concerned with. Charon slips his hand into mine, and squeezes it before letting go. It's warm, where he touched, and it makes me smile a bit.

We walk in silence, which is unusual. Charon and I…we almost always have something to say to one another. Something to talk about, to converse about with one another. Not this time, though, no. It's not that I have nothing to say, I just don't feel like saying it. I don't want to ask pointless question, or give hypothetical situations. He's not talking either, and for good reason I think. We both know the truth, we just won't say it. There's no end to this. There won't ever be an end, either. The Outcasts want me, and they want me dead. They're ruthless and determined, and eventually, I know they'll find me. Unless they do, or I give myself up, it'll be an endless tale of running here and there.

I mean, it's the Brotherhood of Steel, really. They have a West Coast faction, and the Outcasts and whatever it was Elder Lyons was running was the East Coast faction. It's the military of what once was the United States. I'm sure Casdin isn't going to forget me, and is most likely going to bitch and rant to whomever higher ups will listen. When he does that, if they care enough, they'll put out an APB and I'm about as dead as a Molerat fighting a Deathclaw. A person can only really run and hide for so long, before something happens or there's no more places to hide at. The future, I suppose, doesn't look too bright.

I can always go home, I guess, if need be. But I don't really know where that is anymore. Growing up, home was my apartment with my dad in the vault. When I left the vault, it was the vault. When I found Megaton, it was Megaton. After that it became Rockopolis, and then after that any random place we could find. Tenpenny Tower, was another home, and when I lost my mind it was the Citadel. Looking back, I guess I could have called a lot of places home at the time. Now, is really the first time I have nothing to return to. Even in New Vegas, when I lived in a shanty apartment, it was still home, and I had something to go back to at night. I still had the Capital Wasteland, too.

Picking my head up, I look ahead. Mountainous rocks loom on the horizon, and vicious dogs bark in communication with one another. It makes me miss Dogmeat. I never asked Gob what happened to him. Figure I already know. He's dead by now, I'm sure, and that makes me sad. He was a good dog, that stupid, smelly mutt. Loyal companions are hard to come by, and even though Dogmeat wasn't much for conversation, but he was still my buddy, and everyone knows I don't have many of those these days.

Looking over my shoulder, I don't see much, but I pretend I can see Rivet City. Down there, that's where Nurse Graves and Dr. Barrows went to, or so I was told. That's where the scientists are, that worked with my dad on Project Purity. Some are probably still there, and some at the Jefferson Memorial still working on it. At least, I would think so. It's been five years since I was down there, five and a half now I suppose. I wonder, I wonder how they're all doing, and I wonder if they ever think of me. Probably not. They probably never think of the girl, who risked all she had and all she ever cared for, to turn on that Purifier and save everyone in the Capital Wasteland's lives. It doesn't bother me, though. I just wish I could believe that.

"Why so quiet?"

Charon asks as we begin to follow a path that leads uphill. I hate walking uphill.

"I'm not quiet."

I tell him, catching my breath and forcing myself to keep my pace steady.

"You're not saying much is all."

"I don't have much to say."

"You're mad about me leaving still, aren't you?"

I wish that was the case, Charon. I wish that it was true. That I was still bitterly angry about your sudden departure, and even more sudden return. But I'm not. I'm just tired, and carrying around a weight that I don't feel I have a right to bear. A weight of heavy emotions, and empty thoughts. It's not just about Gob, either, it's about a lot of things. I know Gob and I, we were never going to last and eventually it had to end. That for the time being, what we had was nothing more than a soft comfort amongst friends. I'm starting to be okay with that. What I'm not starting to be okay with, is how my life is going.

Out here, you can't be anything. Whereas in the vault, there was something. A doctor like my father, an Overseer, a technician, a teacher, a hairstylist, anything really. When you're born here, in the Capital Wasteland, there's no career path. No rules of guidelines, or guidance to help you choose the right path. You simply are, and you simply survive, and if you can't do that you simply die. I'm not sure anymore, if I want to continue on this life of running mad, running wild and free. I know I sound insane, and unlike my former self, but after the constant brigade of sameness and events, you get bored with it. You ache for something new, something exciting. But there is nothing new to be out here, nothing exciting. I can hope, though, that soon I'll find the old love of being so free and reckless. I suppose that can only come with youthful desires. I'm not youthful anymore. I'm twenty-five now. I feel much, much older.

"No, no Charon, I'm not mad."

He gets to the top first, and outstretches his hand to me. I don't take it right away. Instead, I stop, and I look at him. I look around us, at where we are, and a sense of familiar comfort hits me. I smile at him, taking his hand and holding on to it even after I reach the top myself.

"Charon…you know where we are?"

He looks around, shrugging. It's hard really, to tell where is what out here. Most of it looks the same.

"On a slope?"

Smiling, I shake my head and then nod. He's right, we're on a slope, but not just any slope. Looking to my left, I smile.

"It's where you saved my life. You know, the first time."

Charon looks where I'm looking, and he smirks. His fingers fit between mine, and he squeezes. In my chest, my heart pounds. His fingers, they fit perfectly between mine. My thin, long, and seemingly delicate fingers, hold his rough, chafed, and chapped ones so tightly, and so softly. I'd forgotten, how it feels to feel like a kid inside again. I would lie awake, missing him, and missing how perfect it felt to hold his hand like this. I smile stupidly at him, remembering how not too long ago, I'd try and sleep soundly, but I would miss his arms and his body next to mine so desperately.

"It wasn't the same, without you."

I tell him as we stare off into the distance, over the cliff I had tried to end my life with so long ago.

"What wasn't?"

"Everything. Watching the night come and go, waking up, eating, walking, just being. It wasn't the same. I felt alone, but…I didn't, when I thought of you."

He pulls me closer to him, kissing the top of my head. Charon and Dezbe. Dezbe and Charon. Chezbe, and Dharon. Okay that sounds stupid. Opening my mouth, I stick my tongue far out, and crane my head to look upwards. Closing my eyes, I stand on tip-toes, and reach for something that isn't there.

"Dez? What the hell are you doing?"

"Tasting the sky."

I say, my heart filling with hope, my body becoming alive for a moment once again. It'll take time, I think, for me to learn to like my life. For me to readjust to the constant movement, the constant way of fighting and alertness. But when I do, I know I'll get enjoyment of it. Right now, I can go both ways. I can stay home, or I can venture off into the sunset like an old movie. I can do anything I want to, given that I stay under the radar. The wind howls in my ear, as the early afternoon sun shines down upon me, warming me with it's comforting rays of warmth. You shine, sun, you shine. You shine like those stars shine at night, and you shine bright.

Closing my mouth, I look over and up at Charon.

"Hey."

I say, and he looks at me.

"Yeah?"

"Come on, we're wasting day."

He nods, and with our fingers interlaced, we continue on. I'm sure soon enough, I'll be back to me. Not sure which me, but me, nonetheless. I don't do well to sudden changes, and I don't do well with abruptly leaving. I did, a long time ago, but now it's different. Instead of being so worrisome, and pessimistic about the future, maybe I should try and be hopeful. For all I know, things could turn out wonderful, and I could end up pretty happy. Of course, that could all be a bunch of Brahmin shit, but hey, who's gonna know the difference? Hopefully not me.

Later on that night, Charon and I find a nice little mini-cave to use as shelter. Not really shelter from anything severe or dire, but since we can't make a fire to warm us, we need something to keep us slightly warm at night. Except, tonight isn't really that cold out. I notice this as I look around the dimming Capital Wasteland desert.

"Charon?"

"Yeah?"

He's moving around some rocks that prove to be really uncomfortable. At least, that's my own personal suspicion. I haven't crawled in the cramped 'cave' yet. He has, though. I have no idea why.

"I feel sticky."

I say, lighting a cigarette.

"Sticky?"

Charon comes out of the 'cave' which I now will call 'hole in the cliff-side' because in all honesty, it's really not cave-able. Handing him a cigarette, he lights it and gives me an odd look.

"I can't really describe it. My hair is…poofy and I feel hot and well, sticky. It feels like Point Lookout."

Charon takes the time to flex his fingers while holding the cigarette in his teeth. I watch him look up and around, a confused look falling over his face.

"It's…been a long time."

"A long time since what?"

I kick up some loose pebbles on the ground. I don't think I'll sleep tonight. Night in the Capital Wasteland aren't like this. They were warm, but nothing like this. Feels like I'm standing in a shallow puddle under the glaring sun, only the puddle isn't cool like puddles should be.

"Humidity. Look."

He points upwards, and I look. My eyes grow wide, there's no stars. No moon, no stars. I take a real good look around and realize everything is so much darker, without the light of the moon shining down on everything.

"Where the fuck are the stars and what the fuck is 'humidity'?"

Charon bursts out in laugher before answering me. I'm dead serious. I find nothing funny in this situation, despite what he may think and or feel. Tapping my foot impatiently on the ground, I blow an angry trail of smoke from my lips. The only thing that distracts my mind from the current events, is the Washington Monument, lit up way far off in the distance. It's beautiful, you know.

"Humidity is when there's moisture in the air, Dez. You're used to dry heat, this is moist heat. The stars are behind the clouds. I think it's going to rain."

Charon stops his laughter long enough to answer my question. It doesn't calm me much, and I cock an eyebrow at him.

"Rain? It hasn't rained here in…well, I don't know how long, has it?"

"No, not since the Great War. This worries me."

"Why?"

Charon taps the ground with his foot, and I toss away my cigarette. He looks around, up at the sky, then back at me.

"The ground is hardened. The earth molded a certain way and the rocks haven't moved. Rain will soften it all. We shouldn't stay here."

"Isn't rain a good thing, though?"

Charon shrugs, looking in the direction of Megaton.

"In the long run, yes. But right now, if it does in fact rain, a lot of places are in danger."

"Danger? Why?"

"Like I said, the ground will soften. The rocks will move, the dirt will turn to mud. It can cause disaster."

"What about Gob?"

I blurt out, my eyes growing wide. I'm not sure what angle Charon's getting at, but if he says it's bad, then I trust him. After all, he's been around eons longer than I have. He looks at me, as if I said something unbelievable.

"I don't know. Come on, let's go up."

"Up? Why up?"

A high wind picks up, and something soft and moist hits my face. I look down at my torso, and notice it's sleek with water.

"Mist."

Charon states, impatiently urging me to move onward. Mist. Moving my hands in the air in front of me, I ignore Charon's impatience. As if I'm holding something delicate, I flex my fingers to feel the air around me. It's wet, tangibly wet. I've never seen or heard of rain before. Never really gave it much thought. When I wave my hand downward, I pick up droplets of water, and it fills me with childhood giddiness.

"Charon…mist…"

I say, moving my hands up and down sporadically. He stops urging me for a minute, and takes in the sight that I'm feeling. I spin around slowly, trying to feel the tiny water crystals in the air. It feels so refreshing. Like I'm underwater, but I can breathe, and like it's all oxygenated. I can't help but laugh. Running my hands over my bare forearms, and stomach, I leave trails with my fingers. Thick mist, have you ever stood in it? This is my first time. I need to look forward to the future, because of moments like this.

"Dez, I understand that this is your first time feeling a mist like this, but I really think we should move on."

Before I can respond, a loud clap of thunder vibrates my entire body. It's louder, than it ever was before in Point Lookout, and very shortly after that a bright flash of lightning makes me think for a moment it's day. A strong, powerful silence falls after that, as Charon and I hold our breaths. We look out towards the Capital Wasteland south, just to witness the impending events ahead. The heavy rain, falls from the far south first, and begins to layer itself towards us. It makes a loud hissing noise, as it shoots down from the sky above, and beats against the dead trees, rocks, and dirt below. Before I know it, the rain makes its way to us, drenching us almost instantly.

"Let's go!"

Charon hisses, wrapping his fingers around my wrist. He near drags me up the side of the cliff we decided to sleep under. I need him to support me. The dry dirt beneath our feet is quickly turning into a soft, muddy mixture of sediment. My boots begin to sink almost instantly, as the rain pelts at is. Another loud clap of thunder, and flash of bright lightning scares my body into working harder. I reach ahead of me, to grab a rock for support, when Charon grabs the front of my shirt.

"Don't touch it!"

He yells over the loud rain, and I jerk my hand away. The mud makes me slip and slide, and even though we're in danger, I can't help but feel a bit of humor and enjoyment out of this whole thing. Charon hastily pulls me up the hillside, grunting in anger the whole way. The mud is getting wetter and wetter by the minute, and I look down at the Potomac River as we reach the top.

"It's going to rise."

I say, my eyes widening. Quickly, I bring up my Pip-Boy map, honing in on Megaton.

"Megaton will be fine, it's uphill and far enough away from the river."

"Charon, it's dug inside. It's like a bowl, it'll fill up."

"Gob will be fine. Storms like this don't last for very long. We should use it to our advantage."

"What advantage? I see no advantage in this."

Just as I say that, the mud beneath my feet gives way and I fall on my back. Liquid dirt, the kind you'd find at the bottom of a lake, swells around my body and makes a sucking sound as I pick myself up.

"This is disgusting."

Charon doesn't seem to notice my discontent. He's busy looking around, but there's no point in that. The rain blocks everything out. I know he's looking for a safer spot, than on top of a small hill, so I bring my map back up and start looking for nearby locations.

"We're close to Agatha's house!"

I shout over some thunder. Charon looks at me, and then at the map.

"Who is Agatha?"

"I don't know, but it's on the map, and it's close."

He nods, telling me we're heading that way. I place a secondary map marker on the home, and we begin to move. The upward climb was bad, but the downward one, is quite fun. Rather than fighting the slipping and sliding that the mud causes, I simply sit down, and propel my body forward. It's like a giant slide, a giant painful slide. My butt scraped against upturned rocks, and I scrape up my knees something bad. By the time I hit the bottom, sinking in up to my wrists, I'm covered in deep cuts, and dirty blood. The rain isn't irradiated. I notice that, when I realize there's no tingling sensation or healing of my scrapes.

Charon luckily, isn't too far behind. I can't get myself up, the mud acting like a sucking machine and holding fast to my body. He offers me his hand, and effortlessly pulls me up. It's going to be a tiresome walk to this place, because our feet sink to our ankles with each step we take, and the rain shows no signs in letting up. Instead, it feels like it's getting worse. The rain hits harder, a strong wind picks up, and the thunder booms louder than ever. I have to hold my arm in front of my face, and use Charon as a human shield to keep going.

When I get a break in the wind, I look up at him. I expect him to be holding up his own arm, so the rain doesn't get in his eyes, but he isn't. He's walking straight as he always does, as if the elements have no effect on him. I'm amazing. In all the situations I've seen him act in, none have been more impressive than this. In the highlight of the first storm the Capital Wasteland has seen in over two-hundred years, Charon stands, unscathed and unaffected by it all. He walks, tall and strong. It's as if he's not even pushing himself through the water, instead, the water seems to part for his presence. I know very well it isn't, but the way he's moving it just seems like it. When the wind hits us, and I force myself to mimic him, I can't. He doesn't even twitch his arm to raise it. He just walks, headstrong in the direction we need to go in, looking back every now and again to make sure I'm still following. If we get parted even a little bit in this weather, I don't think the two of us would easily find one another again. My boots, sink deeper with each step, and my legs are starting to ache. I can go for days and miles without my feet or legs hurting, because I'm use to it, but I can't do this. This forceful pull and stomp motion that the mud and rain force me to have. I hope this place is warm, dry, and safe. And, also, not demolished.

Grabbing Charon's wrist, I fear that we'll get separated. I close my fingers tightly around him, and let him drag a bit of my weight. The mud deepens more, and I pull on his arm to get his attention.

"What's going on?"

I yell, the rain pressing on harder.

"Come on! We have to keep moving!"

I want to ask why, but I don't. He's determined now, to get us to high ground and a safe place. Since when does it rain here, anyways? Since when does the Capital Wasteland begin to take such sudden weather changes? Since I decided to turn on the Purifier five years and some odd months ago, that's when.

I go to lift my right foot, when I can't. Without thinking, I let go of Charon's wrist. The water and mud coming from somewhere farther uphill is rushing down around me, and it's mixing with our trail and it made my foot get stuck. It's like pulling it out of one of those high-powered vault vacuums. The more I try to move it out, the more stuck it gets.

"Charon!"

I call, hoping he can hear me over all the noise. Looking up, I see his faint outline. The rain blinds me, though, stinging my eyes and making me shake my head. My hair has never been this wet before, even when I would go swimming, it's never been like this. Luckily, Charon does hear me, and I see his figure hastily moving towards me.

"I'm stuck!"

I yell as he comes within earshot. I guess I don't need to tell him, though, he can see perfectly fine what the situation is.

"Come on!"

He says, and with one hand wrapped around my elbow he pulls me from the muck and up on to the not-really-solid ground. I don't put all my weight down, I let him hold me up as we walk. It's not because I'm lazy, it's just because I've never walked in anything like this before. Point Lookout was muddy, but this…this is insane. The thunder is loud, loud like standing next to Charon's shotgun as it fires, and the lightning is so bright that for two seconds literally, it feels like day. If we weren't in the middle of this mess, I'd say the rain in the Capital Wasteland was pretty or fascinating or something. But we're not somewhere safe, we're smack dab in this whole slew. It's not very fun, either.

"How much further?"

Charon yells, his hand tightening as my feet show resistance from the mud. I want to start yelling at him, I'm so stunned by his stupid question. What? Am I supposed to just know or am I supposed to attempt to look at my Pip-Boy in the middle of this? The latter, I suppose. Struggling to walk, to make sure I'm holding on to him, and to keep balance, I pull up the map. We're not far off at all. As Charon half drags me through the pelting rain, I close my eyes, trying to look at him.

"Not far!"

I yell, and force myself to keep moving. It's all I can think about right now, moving and getting to where we need to be. We should be less than a mile away, and the thought of that makes my insides rage with excitement. I don't know who Agatha is, or why their house got on my map, but they had better be hospitable, or else someone's head is getting blown off. There's no way I can stand out here in this kind of weather, and live to tell about it. Well, now I'm just being dramatic. I'm sure that Charon and I could very well survive in this, it would just be a bitch and a half too. I had hoped, to get a good night's sleep, and to wake in the morning feeling rested, but I suppose that's not going to be the case.

Charon stops in front of me, and I press my face to his back on purpose. Rain hurts after a while, believe me. Your clothes and body get soaked, which adds so much more to the weight your carrying. Wet clothes also cause difficult movements, and it's even harder when your boots are all filled with mud and muck. My toes are buried in it, it feels like, and I don't think there's going to be any real way to empty them if we don't find shelter, and find it fast. I'm hoping all this water doesn't affect my gun. Not that I'm going to need it, but still. There are some crazies out here, who just may use this disadvantaging weather to their advantage.

"What's up?"

I yell, using him as a shield from the world. He lets go of my wrist for a moment, and then places his hand on the small of my back. I look up at him, but my vision is blocked by the rain hitting my eyes.

"There's a house up ahead!"

Closing my eyes because they're starting to burn, I shake my head.

"How do you know? Can you see?"

If the rain were to stop right now, I promise you we'd sound like fuckin' morons yelling at one another like this.

"It's across a rope bridge! Get on!"

I don't ask questions. If I do, then I'll get scared and cause more trouble than any of this is really worth. Instead, I listen to him. I feel him turn around, because I can't quite see just yet, and when I feel him bending over, I take no time in jumping on his back. The wind hits me, as Charon comfortably adjusts my waist, and it's a harsh, bitter, cold wind. It makes my hair stand on end, and my body shiver. The rain, after that, feels like tiny specks of coldness hitting me all over. Before I can stop it, I cling to Charon out of fear, and to get warmth. I'm shivering uncontrollably all over. How did it get so cold, so fast? I've never been anywhere cold. Except when the air systems in the vault broke, and it would either be very hot, or very cold. But it was still nothing like this. There was never small drops of cold water hitting me every which way, and a forceful wind to partner it. Charon feels me gripping him, just as I feel our coupled weight shifting as another wind blows. We're on something quite unsteady, and Charon's strong legs and expert balance are the only things keeping us alive.

I tuck my face into the nape of his neck, and time seems to slow. The noise hitting my ears becomes muffled, and the feel of our weight shifting around becomes numb. I clutch and clung to him, hoping for a safe arrival to the place Charon claims to see. My heart beats faster than any Jet makes it, and I start to shake. I suppose now, would be one of those 'moment of truths'. One of them do-or-die things people talk about. I guess if I died right now, on the back of Charon, I'd die without much regret. What does someone like me, regret anyhow? My misdeeds? The trouble I've caused? The harm I've brought to those around me? No, no none of that. My misdeeds are all repented for, with the goodness I've done throughout my life. The trouble that I seem to cause is perfectly fine. I mean, if there's a gun fight either I started it, or I'm going to finish it. If someone innocent dies in the middle, then they should have kept their head down. As for the harm, well…I can't say I don't feel bad about that. After all, it was never in my agenda to bring harm or worry to the people of Tenpenny Tower. The ghouls there, I mean. People should know, once they figure out who I am or I tell them, that harm around me just happens. In the past, maybe it was intentional a good percentage of the time, but here and now, it's not.

Maturity comes with age, I suppose. I wouldn't do some of the things I used to do in my past, now. A choice few, I guess, but not all. I like to try everything once, and if I like it I'll keep it around. Like Charon. I liked him, so I kept him. Even if at first, I didn't want to admit it to even myself, and even tried to hate every fiber in his being. It wasn't possible, though, and it didn't turn out that way. Remind me to thank him, if we get through this sudden onset of rain.

Charon shifting my body upwards on his back makes me pick my head up. Instantly, my face is hit with horrible, freezing rain. For the short time that I had hidden it in the nape of his neck, I was protected, and felt the warmth of his chilled body. His arms begin to slide out from under my legs, and his balance is steady, for the moment. I feel him crouching down under me, so I take the hint to get off. Removing myself, I place my hand on his upper arm to let my legs sink comfortably in the mud, before moving forward and onward. I don't see the house, until it's right on top of me. Hesitantly, I look behind me at Charon as he presses his body against my back, urging me to open the door. I suppose, as the rain hits me with each cold drop, it's now or never.