Softly Awaken

Chapter Ten

*****

By your endurance you will gain your lives.

                       Luke 21:19 (NAS)

*****

Jing Mei planned to talk with Weaver at the end of her shift that night.  She had pretty much made up her mind about her move to Mercy.  In fact, Henry actually had been a factor in her decision making process.  It turned out Henry was a good friend of Stephens'.  He also had no idea that several nights ago, he would be introduced to a potential date.  Jing Mei found a new friend in Henry, something she was sorely lacking these days.  The more she discussed the pros and cons of leaving County for Mercy, the more Jing Mei thought it was the right choice.  She'd have the chance to start over.

As she clocked out, Jing Mei found Kerri at the nurses station.  "Kerri can we talk?" Jing Mei asked.  Kerri frowned and motioned to the piles of charts stacked in front of her.  "Right now?" sighed Kerri.  Jing Mei nodded.  She knew if she didn't do it now, she might chicken out.

Kerri set down the chart in her hand and waited for Jing Mei to begin.  Frank, the admissions clerk sat motionless as he and a few of the RN's seemed quite interested in the two doctors' conversation.  "Can we do this in private?" Jing Mei asked.

At this question, Kerri frowned again.  "Okay," she drawled.  "I think trauma 2 is open."  Jing Mei followed Kerri, who limped towards the trauma room.  Kerri stood waiting for her to begin as Jing Mei leaned on the empty gurney.  She seemed impatient about the impending conversation.  "What is it Chen?" groaned Kerri.

Jing Mei bit her bottom lip as she pondered how to exactly break the news.  Finally she just blurted it out.  "I thought you should know that I've applied for an ER position at Mercy."

Silence filled the sanitary trauma room as Jing Mei waited for a reaction from the older doctor.  The red-headed physician seemed stunned and speechless.  Jing Mei ran her hand through her long bangs.  She needed a trim.

"Kerri?  Did you hear me?" Jing Mei asked.  "I've applied at Mercy and I've heard that I've got a good chance at the job."

Kerri snapped out of the trance she seemed to have fallen into.  "What do you mean you've applied at Mercy?" exclaimed Kerri.  "You're needed here."

Jing Mei shook her head and chuckled.  "Are you kidding me?  If you looked around lately, County hasn't exactly been the funnest ER for me to work in."

Kerri looked at her in disgust.  "What, are you ditching County because things have been a little unsettled lately?  Are you that shallow?" she asked.  "Well get over it Chen.  We're short on ER doctors with Mark gone and we don't even know when or if Elizabeth's coming back."  Kerri threw her hands up in the air in frustration.  "Can you give us a break?"

Jing Mei pursed her lips and frowned.  "You know Kerri, for your information, I'm not doing this to hurt you or County.  Besides if you were worried about a shortage on staff members, you wouldn't have tried to get rid of me!  So you're getting your wish."  She placed her hands on her hips and studied her former supervisor.  "It's a career move Kerri.  I'm sure you understand that concept don't you?  Anyway, you don't need me here.  All I seem to do is make mistakes, right?  You're better off without me.  John's chief resident now.  You'll be more than fine."

After her little rant, Jing Mei thought she'd made it clear the reasons why she would be leaving.  She thought that would be the end of it.  Jing Mei had given her two weeks notice. 

Removing her glasses from her face, Kerri let them hang from chain that hung around her neck.  "You really are leaving, aren't you?" Kerri sighed heavily, like a weight had been laid on her shoulders.  She seemed to accept Jing Mei's decision.  As Kerri walked toward the trauma doors, she turned around and studied Jing Mei.  "I hope you know that this has nothing to do with yoru ability to work in this ER.  You're fooling yourself if you think you can run away from the things you're too scared to face about yourself.  I think you have the potential to be a great doctor.  Even Mark thought so."  Kerri paused for a moment.  "It's too bad you're taking the easy way out."  Without letting Jing Mei respond, Kerri hobbled out of the trauma room.

~~~

Luka sat out on the bench just outside the ambulance bay.  He rubbed his eyes, which were weary from the double shift he had just pulled.  Luka's thoughts fell on Abby.  When he had been on the phone with the lab, Luka couldn't help but notice Abby and John whispering to each other in the hallway.  No matter how he tried, Luka couldn't stop thinking about Abby.  Though they had been a casual item, Luka never thought he'd miss her presence in his life this much.  In the first couple of weeks, he thought John and Abby's so-called relationship wouldn't last.  Luka had pictured John realizing that Abby wasn't the same woman he'd managed to put on a pedestal.  'John's relationships never last very long,' Luka had been told by one of the nurses.

It had been a month and a half since the small pox outbreak and the start of a budding romance between Abby and John.  The two didn't seem to show any signs of slowing down.  In fact, Luka saw them together at every turn.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath of the chilly Fall air.  "Luka?"  Luka opened his eyes expecting to see Abby standing in front of him, just like that first night she had kissed him, right in this very spot.  But it wasn't her.

~~~Susan sat down beside the thoughtful doctor.  She handed him a hot Styrofoam cup of coffee.  "this should warm you up," she chirped.  Susan felt awkward sitting beside Luka.  She felt like a teenager with a crush.

"How did you find me?" Luka asked, taking a sip of the hot beverage.

Susan shrugged, taking a sip of her own coffee.  "Abby," she replied.

Luka nodded.  "Oh."

Lately she'd thought Luka might have an interest in her.  He'd flirted with her on a number of occasions, given her compliments.  Every sign pointed to the next step.  Luka would ask her out.  But in the past few days, Luka seemed distracted.  He didn't seem interested in what was going on in the ER.  Luka would punch in at the start of his shift. and at the end of his shift, punch out.  Susan wasn't quite sure what to make of it.  "So," Susan piped in, breaking the silence that filled the night air.  "You heard Chen is leaving?"

Luka perked up at the new information.  "Really?"  Susan nodded.  "Yeah, she gave her notice to Romano two nights ago.  Though we heard a few nights ago, when apparently Jing Mei talked with Weaver."

Again the silence commenced.  Susan was ready to give up.  She should have known better than to date another County doctor.  Besides, Susan knew the reputation she was getting with the nurses and other staff.  She didn't need to start dating anyway.  ''But,' Susan thought, 'it would have been fun.'

"Hey Susan?"  Luka looked at her with his intense dark eyes.

"Yeah?" she replied.  The sun was about to rise; she could see the orange rays peering behind the city buildings.

"Do you want to go for an early breakfast?"

~~~

John had a lot on his mind these days as chief resident and also starting a new relationship.  He didn't quite know where his head was at these days.  John juggled between his career and his love life fairly easily, but a bad turn seemed inevitable.  Then Deb informed him that she'd given County notice.

As he walked down the corridor with a trauma patient and paramedics listing cause and meds they'd administered, but John couldn't stop thinking of ways to persuade Deb to stay.  John wanted her to stay on two levels.  Professionally, because he knew that she was a great doctor, no matter what her past performance had been.  John knew she needed just a little boost of confidence.  And personally, Deb was a friend, one of his best friends.  They'd been through a lot together in the past year.  She'd had a baby, he'd gotten through a drug addiction; things that had unavoidably bonded them together.

"Get me a CT scan and a tox screen," ordered John.  He went on automatic pilot.  John assessed the patient and tubed him.  "He's got internal bleeding and needs to get up to the OR! Stat!"

John followed the patient to the elevator where Dr. Watts, a surgeon took over.  Pulling off the latex gloves, John disposed of his gown and gloves in the trash.  "Hey John!"  His ears perked up at his name.  Even Abby hadn't quite gotten used to using his name in the hospital.  She still referred to him as Carter at work, and even at home sometimes.

He looked up and saw Deb making her way toward him, chart in hand.  Placing a pen behind her ear, Deb matched his stride down the hallway towards the admissions desk.  "I need a consult on a patient in exam 3?"

John nodded.  "Sure."  He followed Deb to exam 3 quietly.  It was odd how much distance had formed in the past couple of months.  "What's up?"  Deb handed him the chart.

"Mr. Candred presents with lack of mobile coordination, unaware of where he is.  He's been here before for a tumor.  I ordered CT scans and it shows no signs of a tumor reoccurrence.  There are hypdense areas in his temporal lobes bilaterally.  Also shows signs of swelling."

John studied the chart for a moment and then took a look at the CT scans.  "Mr. Candred?  I am Dr. Carter."  John introduced himself to the 40-year old male, who seemed disoriented.  "I see you've had radiotherapy in the last few weeks?"  There was no response.  John pulled Deb aside, "I think we need to send him to neurology.  I would have thought there might be a re-growth, but you're right about CT showing a clear slate.  I would have neurology look into this case.  It's more than we can handle right now.  See if we can't get him on a string of anti-inflammatories for the swelling."

Deb nodded.  "Thanks.  Could you wait for a sec?  I've got another question for you."  John watched Deb talk with Haleh about getting Mr. Candred to neurology.  He would miss her.

"Hey!" Abby whispered, poking him on his sides.  "What are you up to?"

John smiled.  "I'm doing a consult for Deb."

Abby glanced over at Deb.  "Oh."  John detected a hint of disappointment.  "Why?" John asked.  She looked back at him and shook her head.  "No reason."

John winked at her as he noticed Deb heading back in their direction.  "I gotta go.  Will I see you tonight?"

Abby shook her head.  "I've got a double shift," she groaned.  "Sorry.  You might as well head home because I know I'll crash when I get to my apartment."

John shrugged and grabbed her hands.  "Are you sure?  I could wait up for you?"

"No," she sighed.  "I think I'll just see you tomorrow."

Just then, Deb interrupted and tugged on John's lab coat.  "Uh, could I borrow him for just a second?"

John could tell Abby was a bit irritated.  "Sure."  She let go of his hand.  "I'll see you tomorrow?"  He nodded and smiled as she walked away.  Turning his attention to Deb, John couldn't help but feel a little happy at Abby's…jealousy?  "What can I do for you?"

Deb frowned.  "I didn't mean to interrupt you two.  I mean, I can ask you this later."

John shook his head.  "I'm off right now.  What about you?"  Deb nodded.  "Yeah, me too."

They began to make their way to the staff lounge.  "Uh, John," Deb seemed to hesitate in what she was about to say.  "Do you have plans?"

He held open the door as Deb walked in.  "No.  Why?  You wanna go for a late supper?" John asked, opening his locker.

Deb smiled.  "That sounds great, but I've got plans with Henry."

John frowned.  He knew she'd been seeing Henry for a few days now.  John was surprised Henry was her type, just from first impressions.  He looked at Deb who was in a great mood, from the big smile plastered on her face.  So pasting a grin on his face, John tried to be supportive as a friend.  "So Henry and you are an item now?  Three dates and you're still going strong," John teased.

Deb stuffed her stethoscope in her locker and hung up her lab coat.  "We are not an item John.  We're just friends.  You know what that is right?" retorted Deb.

John slipped a scarf around his neck and pulled on his wool jacket.  "Yes, but friends don't go on dates," he replied.  John had heard the nurses giggling over the details of Deb's dates with Henry.  It made him uneasy, almost irritated, for some reason.

Deb pulled her black hair from under the collar of her coat.  "I never said they were dates John.  We were hanging out.  I mean, a girl's gotta have some sort of social life.  Even if it is with a friend."

John shrugged.  "I don't know.  That's not what the nurses say," he chirped.

Deb rolled her eyes and shook her head.  "The nurses like to gossip and exaggerate things.  Besides, it's nice having a friend again."

The slight dig made John look away from Deb.  He hadn't made attempts to talk to her since her announcement.  John didn't want to make it harder on her than it already was.  Most of the staff were unhappy that Deb had decided to make the move right now.  It left a lot of staff pulling double duty.  And John didn't want to be another one.  "I'm still your friend," John pouted.

Deb smiled briefly.  "Yeah.  I know," she sighed.  "It just seem like we never hang out anymore.  But I suppose that happens when you get a girlfriend."

They both shut their lockers and headed out the main entrance.  "Hey, I offered to take you out for supper!" John protested.

Deb cocked her eyebrow.  "But that's because Abby's pulling a double!" Deb pointed out.

John sighed.  "Okay, got me there.  But still, I did offer!"

His friend chuckled.  "All right.  I'll give you that one!"

Suddenly a black BMW pulled in front of the hospital entrance and honked.  John frowned as the window lowered to reveal Henry's smiling face.  "Hey Jing Mei," called Henry.  "Wanna ride?"  Deb waved and answered back.  "Just a second."

John looked over to see Deb studying his face.  "Look, why don't we get together on the weekend?  No excuses," warned Deb.  He studied her face to see if this was just an offer.  But she looked sincere.  "Okay.  I'll talk to you about it tomorrow?"

Deb winked.  "Sure!  I'll see ya tomorrow John."

With that, John watched Deb hop into the shiny black BMW.  Even though it was dark, he could make out Henry and Deb hugging.  Finally Henry pulled away from the curb and John watched them drive off until he could see nothing but the red tail lights of the car.