I'm so sorry for the huge gap! I've come up with a new schedule so that you all should get a new chapter once a week. Thanks for sticking with me.

This chapter is more about how Castle and Beckett are each handling the separation. More plot advancement in the next chapter.

Disclaimer: I do not own Castle or ABC.

Enjoy!

When Beckett got home the next day, she barely had the strength to stand upright.

It had been one of those days. The kind that make you want to go home, curl up into a ball, and try to remember why you're even alive. Nothing had dropped on the case, and no new cases had rolled in, leaving her to sit, and pace, and stare at the case file and the murder board until her vision swam and her head pounded.

Not to mention that all day long, her team had been talking about him.

It was bad enough that she felt her heart lurch and her stomach churn every time she thought about him or heard his name, but now they had to spend the whole damned day reminiscing? How was that fair?

Beckett dragged herself into the kitchen and began to grab a bottle of wine, and then thought otherwise. She knew alcohol wasn't what she really wanted. Wasn't what would fix this problem. It wouldn't even help. So instead, she sat down, right there, in the middle of her kitchen, losing the battle with her legs to remain standing.

She felt so drained. So completely lifeless and devoid of energy. But not tired. No, she didn't want to sleep. She only wanted…well, she wasn't exactly sure what she wanted. It seemed her brain was trying to shut off too.

She sprawled out on the floor, exhausted, and stared up at the ceiling.

She was empty. There was nothing left inside her anymore, just a huge gaping hole that he had left when she ripped him out of her life. She felt a kind of pain that was not new to her. Not by any stretch of the imagination. It was the kind of pain that made you want to sob hysterically and never stop, and laugh until you couldn't breathe all at the same time.

It was the pain of missing someone.

It was the pain of missing her mother, of wishing she was closer to her father, of missing the person she used to be a long, long time ago, and now…

It was also the pain of missing Richard Castle.

Everything Beckett did reminded her of him. She couldn't go a full minute without him crossing her mind.

He popped into her mind when she sat down at her desk.

When she got a cup of coffee.

When she got into her squad car.

When she picked up a book.

When she got into the bathtub.

When her phone rang.

When she saw Alexis.

When she saw Esposito and Ryan.

When she ate.

When she drank.

When she slept.

He was everywhere. Even in the most unlikely or mundane places.

Castle had completely infiltrated her oh-so-perfect life, and torn it to pieces. And while a part of her hated him for it, and wished she had never met him…the majority of her just missed him. Missed her Rick, and wanted him to come back.

You don't know what you've got 'til it's gone.

Now, Beckett longed for the days when he stuck his nose in her business and pulled her pigtails. Too late, she realized that somehow, she had gotten to the point where she couldn't live without him. Not really. Not truly.

Because for as much as trouble as he caused, and as many fresh wounds as he opened, Castle had healed her. He had single handedly taken a the broken shell of a woman, and breathed life into her again. Convinced her once more that it was okay to feel. Sworn to her that he wasn't going anywhere, and that he would always be there for her.

And he would have been. Had it not been for her stupidity.

Not stupidity. She told herself. It's not stupid to want to keep him alive. This is for him. Not you. Get over it.

But she couldn't.

And she never would.

The next morning, Richard Castle was standing at his stove, whistling.

Alexis came down the stairs with caution at the noise that hadn't been heard in her house for weeks, peering around the corner at the foot of the stairs. "Dad?"

He turned from the stove and threw a grin over his shoulder at her. "Hey, there pumpkin! Sleep well?"

"Um." Alexis furrowed her eyebrows, walking into the kitchen. "Yeah, I guess so."

Castle plopped a plate down in front of her. "Why do you look so confused?"

"Oh…I mean…it's just…" Alexis racked her brain for the right words. "You're so…happy."

"And what's not to be happy about?" Castle replied, taking a rather large piece of toast and swallowing it before continuing. "The sun is out. It's a beautiful day. I'm a best-selling author who lives in the Greatest City on Earth, with my wonderful family!" He beamed at her. "Life is good."

"What about Detective Beckett?" Alexis had no trouble delivering the blow. She had gotten plenty of practice by now.

Castle's smile slid down to a quiet one, but maintained its presence. "Sometimes, you have to do what's best for you, and move on. Not every love story is going to work out." He shrugged. "That's just the way life is. And you have to let it go before it tears you up inside." He locked eyes with his daughter. "I've made my peace with it."

Alexis swallowed hard, processing quickly. "But you loved her, and you're never supposed to give up on love, right?"

Castle nodded as he poured himself another cup of coffee. "But true love doesn't give up on you." He said in his same soft voice. "It took me a couple of weeks but now…I know I'm going to be okay. Nikki Heat will make a nice trilogy. I'll move on."

Alexis stared at him, speechless.

He didn't say anything for a moment, and then added, "And I hope she finds whatever it is she's looking for. I hope she has a good life." His smile widened. "Because I'm going to make the most of mine."

"So…so what are you going to do today?" Alexis stammered out, trying to hide her disbelief.

"Hmm." Castle thought for a moment, looking up to the ceiling. "Maybe I'll go out to the Statue of Liberty. Haven't been out there in a while." His face brightened even more. "You want to come? We could make it an outing!"

"Um, no thanks." Alexis shook her head, forcing a smile. "I have school."

"I could call you in."

"I have a calculus test."

"Fine." Castle relented, walking over to the other side of the counter and wrapping his daughter in a hug. "How did you turn out so great? How did I get so lucky?"

"Oh, I'm not really that great." Alexis said, voice laced with the guilt that consumed every inch of her body.

Review? Please? I'm begging.

Also, how awesome was "Rise"? If anyone wants to talk about it, PM me!