AN:

offbrandbiscuit: Well, thank you! I hope you enjoy this one just as much.

Hotland lived up to its name.

As I stepped onto the red rocks once more, blistering heat hit me head on. With how many runs I'd had to get used to it, I could bear it, but I sure as hell didn't like it.

By the time I'd finished the short walk to the lab, sweat was already pooling on my forehead. Fortunately, I knew it was colder inside. I sped up to a sprint as the sliding doors started to open and quickly ran into the building.

It was a relief to be away from the heat. Of course, I knew I'd still have to endure it for quite a long time after I left, but at least I could catch a break.

The lab was a bit dimmer than in my previous runs, but I could still see well enough. I began walking forwards, only casting a passing glance at the screen showing my every movement. It still struck me as weird, even after seeing it over and over again. Why was it even there?

After a bit, a monster that looked like a lizard in a lab coat stepped out of a door to my left and walked ahead of me. A memory of the robot mentioning something about a doctor flashed through my mind. This would be her, then.

"Oh. My god," she said, her face a perfect picture of shock. "I didn't expect you to show up so soon!"

"I haven't showered, I'm barely dressed, it's all messy, and…" Her words tumbled breathlessly out of her mouth. "Ummm… H-h-hiya! I'm Dr. Alphys. I'm Asgore's royal scientist!"

Royal scientist? Interesting. Perhaps she could tell me something about the bird.

"B-b-but, ahhhh, I'm not one of the "bad guys"!" she yelled frantically. "Actually, since you've stepped out of the Ruins, I've, um…"

Everything fell into place. "Been watching me?" I asked reproachingly, my arms folded across my chest.

"U-uh! Ye-yeah…" she stammered. "Y-you knew?"

I indicated the large screen behind me with a wave of my hand.

"O-oh. Yeah…" She cringed a bit. "W-well… I, uh… I was originally going to stop you, but, uh… watching someone on a screen really makes you root for them. S-so, ahhh, now I want to help you!"

I pursed my lips. So apparently, spying was OK as long as you helped the person afterwards? Wasn't sure I approved.

"Uh, um…" she stammered out as she looked away from my face, sweat running down her brow. "I, I mean, I know it was wrong, but… uh… I, I still want to help you! Using my knowledge, I can easily guide you through Hotland!"

"How about you just stay well out of my business instead?"

"No! I, uh…" She took a few steps away from me. "L-look, I'm-I'm sorry I was, uh… watching you, but… uh, well…"

I tapped my foot on the floor impatiently.

"I, uh, I just want to help you get through Hotland!" she said frantically. "I-I know a way right to Asgore's castle!"

I clasped my hands in front of me, barely managing to contain my anger. "Hey. How about you tell me something?"

"Uh, w-what?" she nervously asked.

"You've been watching me all this time, right?" I glared daggers at her. "Have I needed any help so far?"

"U-uh! I, well, you, uh, er…" she whimpered. "I, uh, n-not r-really, but…"

"THEN WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I NEED IT NOW?!" I shouted, stomping my foot on the ground. Her high-pitched yelp barely reached my ears. "Especially from someone who spied on me!"

"L-look, I, uh!" she scrambled to defend herself. "I, I just, it's, uh, there's, there's a bit of an issue! I, uh… Look, I, uh, made a, uh, robot named Mettaton. And, uh…"

God, I hated her already. "And?! Get to the point!"

"Well, it's just, uh, I, uh, recently decided to make him more useful," she said. "And, uh, I, er… gave him… a few new features, like… uh…" Her voice trailed off as she met my gaze.

"What is it?" I asked, exasperated. Why was getting anything out of people always so hard?

She stared at the ground. "It's, er… anti… anti-human… combat features…"

I stared at her for a few moments, then slowly shook my head. "Anti-human combat features. Anti. Human. Combat. Features."

She quietly whimpered something under her breath.

"You know…" I lazily continued. "That really doesn't fill me with confidence as far as trusting you goes."

"Uh, um, erm…" she stuttered out. "I-I'm sorry… but… er… I…" Her voice trailed away into nothingness, and she cowered in front of me.

I stared at her sternly. Now that my rage was cooling off, though, an odd mixture of feelings welled up inside me. Yes, it felt good to see her cower before me, to have this kind of power over her… but why did it feel so wrong at the same time? It felt like this wasn't right, like I was doing something I shouldn't be…

Ah well. Logically, there was no reason not to accept her help anyway – it was only my pride that made me unwilling. And I'd thrown that away more than a few times already.

In a somewhat gentler voice, I said "Oh, alright. I'll take your help."

She stared at me blankly for a few seconds before coming to her senses. "Oh! Oh, uh… thank you! I'll be sure to, uh-"

And all of a sudden, a metallic clang cut through the air as the building shook.

It was just a small jolt, nothing major. Still, I could see her come close to losing her balance.

Another jolt came soon after, the same sound accompanying it. It still wasn't too bad, although this time, she almost fell off her feet. I swiveled my head around to look for the source.

"Alright, what's go-" I started to ask her, only to be interrupted by another jolt. And another, and another. I lost my balance from the shocks and started to fall, but I caught myself and managed to quickly get back on my feet. As I did, I noticed that, to my surprise, the lizard had managed to stay up as well.

Her eyes went wide with dread. "Oh no."

"Wai-" I began, but an unimaginably loud crash drowned out my words completely. The room went dark suddenly, and I found myself unable to see even my own hands.

"OHHHH YES!" a metallic voice announced. "WELCOME, BEAUTIES…"

The voice paused dramatically, and a light shined from somewhere on high. It fell right on the speaker – the same robot I'd seen in this lab in my previous runs.

"…TO TODAY'S QUIZ SHOW!" it finished.

The room lit up slightly, just enough that I could see. At the same time, disco lights appeared from the ceiling and a brief rain of confetti fell from a mysterious source. A few pieces landed on me, and I brushed them off irately. "What in the world…?" was all I could manage to say.

"OH BOY!" the robot yelled. "I CAN ALREADY TELL IT'S GONNA BE A GREAT SHOW! EVERYONE GIVE A BIG HAND FOR OUR WONDERFUL CONTESTANT!"

Another rain of confetti came down, this time right on top of me. I stared blankly at the robot for a few seconds before realizing the confetti was now covering me. I shook it off.

"NEVER PLAYED BEFORE, GORGEOUS?" he asked, clearly addressing the question to me.

"Uh, th- uh-" I stuttered out. This was just far too overwhelming.

"NO PROBLEM!" he reassured. "IT'S SIMPLE! THERE' S ONLY ONE RULE. ANSWER CORRECTLY… OR YOU DIE!"

I couldn't help but think I'd rather die.

"So… so let me get this straight," I said. "Your plan is to make me do a quiz?"

"THAT'S RIGHT!" he shouted. "NOW HOW ABO-"

"Go to hell."

I turned and walked away.

Suddenly, something unlike anything I'd felt in my previous runs hit me from behind, forcing me to my knees. Dimly, I realized it was an electric shock.

I grit my teeth, managing not to scream. Mercifully, the electricity subsided fairly quickly.

"TSK, TSK!" the robot admonished. "I'M SORRY, BUT I'M AFRAID WE SIMPLY CAN'T HAVE THAT."

I glared at him, still kneeling on the floor, with hate in my eyes.

"NOW…" he continued. "HOW ABOUT WE START THE SHOW?"

I shakily stood up and growled at him.

"ALRIGHTY THEN!" he cheerfully yelled. "LET'S START WITH AN EASY ONE!"

The robot slid over to the side, and a holographic display appeared where he was standing. It read "What's the prize for answering correctly?"

At the same time, a panel – seemingly made with the same technology – appeared in front of me, listing four answers. They were "Money", "Mercy", "New car", and "More questions". In addition, there was also a timer ticking down in its middle.

I was entirely unamused.

My gaze shifted from the panel over to the robot. "Are you messing with me?"

He said nothing, only thrust his hand in my direction. I flung myself to the side, but the beam of electricity hit me anyway, eliciting a panicked scream from the lizard. It tore through my body, and I could feel my muscles convulsing in response to the shock. The pain, I thought, would've been excruciating to most people. My many runs' worth of experience came in handy, though – pain was something I was used to, and it'd take more than that to get a response from me. I felt a small surge of pride at the thought.

Still, I thought as the electricity stopped, that couldn't have been good for me. The smell of burnt flesh wafted up to my nose, and I could feel just where it was coming from. And unfortunately, in my arrogance, I'd neglected to pick up any food except for the pie, and using that now would be a waste.

So, with no other options, I just dusted myself off and dragged myself back to my feet.

"WRONG ANSWER!" the robot announced.

"I figured that was what you were trying to say when you zapped me," I snarked at him.

"YOU'RE RIGHT!" he said. "HERE'S YOUR TERIFFIC PRIZE!"

He slid over to the side again. This time, the holographic display read "What's the king's full name?", and the answers that appeared in front of me were "Lord Fluffybuns", "Fuzzy Pushover", "Asgore Dreemurr", and "Dr. Friendship".

I had a choice to make. Either I had to not only indulge, but cooperate with the utter inanity that was this robot's quiz, or I had to suffer a lot of very painful shocks.

At the end of the day, option 2 would probably hurt less.

I turned to the robot and said "Seriously. Go to hell with your bloody quiz."

His hand shot towards me again, and again, I tried to fling myself out of the way. The electricity hit me anyway, though. Once again, it ravaged my body, and I ended up twitching around like a fish out of water.

It had been even worse this time. When it finally ceased, though, I just stood right back up. Nothing else to do.

"HEY NOW!" he yelled. "THIS IS A FAMILY-FRIENDLY SHOW!"

"Sure. Whatever." I rolled my eyes. "Can we just get this over with?"

"VERY WELL, THEN!" he shouted, and wheeled over to the side yet again.

As expected, another question appeared. It read "What are robots made of?" This time, I didn't even bother looking at the answers, nor did I deign to give the robot a piece of my mind again. Instead, with nothing to do but wait for the timer to tick down, I passed my glance over the lab, just in case something was different this time around. It looked much the same as in my previous runs, though.

Although, I did notice the lizard frantically making some hand gestures at me off to the side. After a moment of trying to parse her gesticulating, I realized that her hands were in a shape somewhat resembling the letter B. Glancing down, I saw that answer B on the panel was "Metal & Magic", which seemed correct to me.

I nodded at her, just to indicate that I acknowledged her effort. The thought was appreciated, even if I didn't intend to actually use her help.

A moment later, the shock hit me.

This one hurt even more. I fell to the ground instantly, feeling the bite of the electricity ripping through me. My eyes went wide as the pain hit me in full force, but I still managed not to scream. Good. I wasn't planning to give this damned machine the satisfaction.

"WRONG!" he shouted again, even though I hadn't said anything. "WELL, HERE'S ANOTHER EASY ONE FOR YOU!"

For the fourth time now, he went over to the side. This time, the question was some sort of incredibly long mathematical problem. Okay, now he really was just messing with me.

I cast a quick glance at the lizard, just out of curiosity as to whether or not she knew the answer. Apparently, she did – and instantly, in fact. Hm.

Wasn't the time to dwell on it, though. Instead, I stared at the robot, unflinching, bracing myself for the pain of the shock. After all, I still sure as hell wasn't planning to give him the satisfaction of hearing me scream.

Somewhat nervously, I watched the timer tick down out of the corner of my eye. Three… two… one…

The electricity hit me, even worse still, but this time, I was prepared. As it coursed through me, I grit my teeth in a fierce determination. I was going to push through this pain; I was going to let him know he couldn't do a thing to me; and more than anything, I wasn't going to show even a hint of weakness.

It hurt. It hurt like hell. But I hadn't beaten the comedian by being scared of a little pain.

I felt the shock tear through my body. I felt it scorch my flesh mercilessly as it went. But I would not break. No matter what.

And I didn't. I didn't scream. I didn't even fall to the floor, this time.

I glowered at the robot, even as cold satisfaction welled up within me. It didn't matter what he did to me. There was no way he could force me to participate in this.

"Alright, robot," I said. There was anger in my voice, but a certain condescension too. "What next?!"

"NEXT, IT'S TIME TO BREAK OUT THE BIG GUNS!" he announced, but I could swear there was a bit less enthusiasm in his voice now.

The question read "In the dating simulation video game "Mew Mew Kissy Cutie" what is Mew Mew's favorite food?" I narrowed my eyes. When I'd seen the previous question, I'd thought it'd be the height of this quiz's stupidity. Clearly, I was wrong.

Somehow, though, being able to take that last shock so well made the future ones seem less scary. After all, if even that one didn't break me, why would any of the other ones? Now, it was just a test of pati-

"OH! OH! I KNOW THIS ONE!" the lizard suddenly piped up, waving her arms wildly in the air. My bewildered gaze snapped to her. "IT'S SNAIL ICE CREAM! IN THE FOURTH CHAPTER EVERYONE GOES TO THE BEACH! AND SHE BUYS ICE CREAM FOR ALL OF HER FRIENDS! BUT IT'S SNAIL FLAVOR AND SHE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO WANTS IT! IT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITE PARTS OF THE GAME BECAUSE IT'S ACTUALLY A VERY POWERFUL message about…"

Her gaze darted around the lab for a moment, as if she was only now becoming aware that both I and the robot were staring at her like she was crazy.

"Friendship… and…" She let the words hang in the air.

The silence was unbroken for a few moments. Unfortunately, the lack of any distractions was making the pain from all the zapping harder to ignore, so I spoke first. "Doctor, may I offer some constructive criticism?"

"Uh… y-yes?" she nervously responded.

"You're an idiot."

She looked down at the floor, her face red and covered in sweat.

"ALPHYS, ALPHYS, ALPHYS," the robot chastised. "YOU AREN'T HELPING OUR CONTESTANT, ARE YOU?"

The lizard shook her head frantically, but the robot just barreled on. "OOOOOH! YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME. I'LL ASK A QUESTION YOU'LL BE SURE TO KNOW THE ANSWER TO!"

Even before the question appeared, the lizard's hands flew up to her mouth and she stared at me with wide, pleading eyes.

The question was "Who does Dr. Alphys have a crush on?" I giggled at it a bit.

This time, I actually looked down at the answers. They were "Undyne", "Asgore", "The human" – I felt myself going a bit red at that one – and "Don't know".

I turned to the lizard, a smirk on my face. "Well? You know the answer, right?"

"U-uh-ah…" she stammered. A newfound liking for the robot blossomed inside me.

Again, I glanced down at the answers. I was torn. Part of me refused to answer even this question, just on principle. The other part of me was already trying to figure out which answer would be funniest.

Suddenly, however, I noticed that the timer wasn't going down. It was an attempt to force me to answer. That, I didn't appreciate. I felt my rage at the robot rising back up to the surface.

"Never mind," I said. "I'm not answering this."

"I'M AFRAID WE CA-" he started.

"No," I said firmly. "I've had enough of your endless blather. What are you? Just a bloody metallic box with nothing better to do than torture people with your idiotic quiz? If you want to fight, then fight. If you don't, then shut up, get the hell out of here, and go back into the hole you crawled out of. And don't you dare stand in my way."

For a moment, he was actually speechless. Then, he finally said "…WELL WELL WELL. WITH DR. ALPHYS HELPING YOU, THE SHOW HAS NO DRAMATIC TENSION! WE CAN'T GO ON LIKE THIS!"

Yeah. That was why he was stopping. Right.

"BUT. BUT!" he continued. "THIS WAS JUST THE PILOT EPISODE! NEXT UP, MORE DRAMA! MORE ROMANCE! MORE BLOODSHED! UNTIL NEXT TIME, DARLINGS…!"

His wheel and arms retracted into his body, leaving behind naught but a metal box. Then, a jet erupted from the box's underside, and the robot quite literally flew through the ceiling.

"…Well that was certainly something," the lizard awkwardly said, turning to face me.

"Gee, ya think?" I said, still maintaining an air of confidence. But now that the robot wasn't here and I didn't have him to focus my fury on, I was really starting to feel the pain. All the burns I'd got felt like there was a hot iron on them. For a few moments more, I was able to keep up the image with no slip-ups except for a few groans, but it couldn't last. I fell to my knees.

"O-oh!" the lizard shouted, rushing over to me. "A-are you okay?!"

I waved her away, and she took a few steps back. "Yeah, I'm fine." It was something of a lie – I really was hurting a lot. But I could take care of it myself.

My fingers fumbled around in my pocket for a while before they came across what I'd been looking for. A small slice of butterscotch pie, from way back at the start of this run. I pulled it out and brought it to my mouth. Perhaps it was a waste, but I didn't think I could do much like this.

I devoured it quickly. The effect was just as quick – every time I swallowed a piece, I instantly felt a pleasant feeling flow through my body. In mere moments, all my burns disappeared, as did all the pain. After what I'd just been through, it was heavenly, and I breathed a small sigh of relief at the sensation.

Now that the pain wasn't an issue anymore, I stood up and walked around the lizard to the end of the lab. Felt nice to be able to do that so easily.

"Wait, wait!" she yelled from behind me, and I heard the frantic pitter-patter of her feet on the floor approaching. I turned just in time to see her barely manage not to crash into me. "Let me give you my ph-phone number!"

I shrugged.

"Th-then… m-maybe…" she stammered, hesitantly. "If you need help, I could…"

Might as well, I supposed. I grabbed my phone out of my pocket, but froze just as I started pulling it out. The lizard's eyes were wide open in shock, and she was staring at my phone.

"Uh… what's wrong?" I asked, a little awkwardly, and began slowly putting my phone back into my pocket.

"Wh-where'd you get that phone?!" she yelled. "It's ANCIENT!"

I pulled my phone the rest of the way out and examined it critically. "Well, it works well enough for my purposes," I shrugged.

"Wh- bu-" the lizard stammered. She seemed personally insulted. "It doesn't even have texting!"

With a surprisingly fast motion, she snatched the phone out of my hand. "W-wait a second, please!"

She ran off, and I stared after her, my mouth slightly open in shock. Then she put it down on her cluttered table, and I realized what she was planning to do. "No, you really don't need to-" I started, but she was already messing around with it. I just sighed.

Whatever, exactly, she was doing, it didn't take long. Just a couple seconds later, she was running back towards me, my phone clutched like a child in her arms. "Here, I upgraded it for you!" she breathlessly announced, shoving it into my hands. I fumbled with it for a moment and nearly dropped it, but I managed to catch it and put it back into my pocket.

"It can do texting, items, it's got a key chain…" She rattled off the list excitedly. "I even signed you up for the Underground's No. 1 social network!"

"Thanks," I said.

"Y-you're welcome!" she said. "Now we're officially friends! Ehehehe! Heheh… heh…"

Her eyes darted around the room wildly, sweat on her forehead. With her already in that state, I didn't correct her. I just… couldn't.

"Wait," I said, interrupting her panicking. "Can you just tell me one more thing?"

"O-oh!" She flinched, startled. "Oh, uh… y-yeah! W-what is it?"

There was a question I thought she might have an answer to, but first, I needed to make sure of one thing. "First, can you just… promise me you won't ask why I want to know this?"

She looked markedly more nervous, but I doubted she'd say no. "Um…" she stammered. "…a-alright…"

"Hypothetically," I started, "is there any special way for a monster to become incredibly powerful?"

"W-what?" she asked, her eyes darting to the side. "W-well… I, uh, I guess some monsters just… are just more powerful, by, uh, nature…"

I nodded. That'd be the comedian. But I didn't think that explanation sufficed for the bird. "I know. But besides that?"

"Um, well…" she stammered. "N-no, I don't think so…"

And then, just for a moment, I saw cogs turning in her head. Then, she quietly muttered "Well, I guess… but…"

"What is it?" I asked.

"N-no…" She shook her head. "T-there's, uh, no way that could happen."

"Well, still. What is it?" As I said that, I realized I was doing it wrong. Going too harsh here would just make her too nervous to say anything. Instead, I softened my voice and said "Please. I really need to know."

She looked to the side, clearly uncomfortable.

"Well," she said, "I guess, maybe, if they absorbed a human soul…"