It's ten o'clock at night when Bolin's banging on the Island's front doors vibrate like an earthquake; frantic, desperate worry is written across his sweat-stained face, green orbs flicking with a too familiar sadness that speaks volumes before he says a single word.
"Bo? Are you alright? What-"
His words explode out of him in a tangled rush of a mess, "I can't find him anywhere! He didn't come home by seven. He's always home by seven for dinner! Or he leaves a note, or comes to find me or- or something! I've looked everywhere!" he's breathing heavy and fast, running a hand through his hair and looking helplessly lost. She can't help but notice he looks like a little kid at the moment, and her throat begins to burn.
"Bolin's the only family I have left. If anything happened to him..."
Her heart starts to flutter fast- the first signs of panic setting in.
She takes a deep breath, placing her hand on her best friend's shoulder; a mirror action of the night Bolin was kidnapped all those months ago.
She feels a deep pain twist her gut, one that hadn't been there that night they went looking for Bolin. She wonders if it's because she had been blind then; too prideful and confident in herself to take treats against herself as the Avatar seriously enough-because she used to think that no one back then could hurt her. Maybe she just hadn't known what having friends was like back then, and hadn't known all she had to lose.
Now she does. She knows fear, and pain, and sadness, and emptiness, and happiness, and loyalty, and betrayal, and love, and friendship.
She knows this: she loves these two brothers more than anything. Her best friend and lover; she was destined to meet them, she knows that from her heart.
She would die for either of them-as well as Asami- in a heartbeat.
"I mean," Bolin starts up again, rubbing a palm across his face," He hasn't disappeared like this since we were kids! I looked in the park, the Power Plant, every place we used to use as make-shift shelters, and, like, every stinking, rotten alleyway! I busted my way into the Triple Threat's Head Quarters, thinking he must be there for whatever reason!" Just then, his face darkens with a mixture of pain. He whispers, "Spirits, I even went to our old home, Korra! And we swore never to go back there. Nearly all the Equalists are gone. Where could he be?!"
Her heart nearly breaks just looking at him. She can feel he will break any second.
So she tries to calm her fears and all the questions running through her head.
She tightens her grip on Bolin's shaking shoulders, she morphs her face into one of determination and says what she said long ago, "Bolin, we are going to find your brother. I promise you that."
She wraps her arms around him, and his trembles cease, "Shhh...It's going to be alright, Bo. C'mon," she pulls away, and puts her fingers under his chin, tipping his head to look at her, "Team Avatar to the rescue!" She turns her lips up into a smile.
Slowly, his mouth stops quivering, and his teeth show in their loyal smirk. His eyes now gleam with determination, "Yeah, let's go."
They decide to cover more ground going separate directions: Bolin, knowing these roads like the back of his hand, searches places people don't even know they don't know about, getting drowned half-way in childhood memories. Korra and Naga scout the opposite way, down the more populated areas, with gleaming streets lights guiding them, gawking citizens yelling, pointing "Avatar Korra!," as she passes. She blushes; she's never been to this part of town, and she hopes they like her.
It's after about a half hour where she starts to get into the Komodo- Dragon District- that is, if she has any sence of direction at all; when you've lived in the South Pole most of your life, every direction is white, and snow is just snow is just snow...not that she minded it, she loved her home!
"Take a right at the next glacier!" had been an inside joke her dad had always teased her about, being as when she was twelve, she and Naga had gotten totally lost out in the wide open white, and had to stay out all night untill morning. Thankfully, her Firebending had been very helpful.
Now, she gave an irritated huff as she looked around; she could tell just by looking at the area and the people -and practically breathing in the air that smelt like honey and chocolate and expensive wines, as opposed to garbage and cigerete ash and rotting things- that these people were not Mako's style. This part of town was rich, and classy; all their clothes shimmering with gold, and pointed boots. Their cars were spotless, and everyone looked happy and healthy-music and laughter could be heard from the restaurant nearby that practically screamed, "Too rich for you!"
Or maybe, it was the glass and platinum-trimmed windows that framed the place, all with a color-changeing fountain in the front, and the furr-coated, cigar-smoking, couples going in and out of the place. A whole nother world.
No, this neighborhood was not like where Mako and Bolin lived at all. Neither brother would be caught dead in this part of the city, and would probably be scoffed at.
It made her heart hurt to think about it.
She tried not to cry in frustration, "I guess we'll have keep looking, girl." she mumbled as she rubbed Naga's head, "I hope Bolin's had better luck."
With a pull on the reins, Naga troted around in the opposite direction.
A few minutes more of looking in every direction and street corner, under every shadow of a street lamp, and her eyes were getting heavy with sleep. She dreaded having to go back to a broken-hearted Bolin to tell him the bad news. She's pained with the fear of where her boyfriend is, and if he's hurt.
But something...something makes her stop, and halt Naga in her tracks.
She doesn't know why at first; her tired, desperately worried brain not processing, her eyes not focusing.
Then her eyes being to function with realization.
Red.
She knows what that red is.
A red fabric drapped on the muddy ground, a narrow foot sticking out of the shadow at the end of an alleyway.
A russel of cardboard, and a...a light...
Yes, a light- a Firebender's light- flickering in a palm that suddenly illuminates a familiar sillhoute as he leans against the alleyway wall.
It's him.
She jumps off Naga and dashes towered him.
"Mako!" his name falls from her tongue like the other part of her soul.
"Mako... we were so worried about you, you idiot! Where have you been!? Bolin's been frantic all night, and I was looking everywhere for you! Are you okay?"
As she gets closer, and her eyes adjust to the darkness, she finds him huddled in a ball at the corner of the wall, his beloved scarf, discarded in the fifth.
He doesn't respond or move at first, and she says nothing else either.
Because she knows he doesn't need words at the moment.
He needs love, and comfort.
Whatever is hurting him, he needs her.
She delicately picks up his scarf, and bends all the dirt from it, making it shine with red again.
Silently, soft as a feather, she takes the treasured red fabric and places it on his shoulder. She then, tenderly, moves his head from the wall so she can wrap the back behind his head and around his other shoulder.
His eyes flick to her- his first sign of movement. She crouches down beside him, at eye level, trying to see into him. Yet, his amber's are not shining like the sun as usual when they look at her, and they aren't blazing like fire in a protecting, fierce, loyalty for the ones he loves.
They look hallow, empty, and so sad.
She swallows back a lump in her throat and places her palm against his cheek, hoping he can feel the love through her pulse.
He closes his eyes for a moment, leaning into her palm, drinking up her touch.
He opens up his eyes again, really looking at her this time.
She can see now, in this light, that his face is red and tear-stained.
There is a blackish-blue smudge blooming under his right eye.
She longs to brush the tears away and give him a thousand kisses to remove the ach in him.
But she restrains herself. She waits.
It only takes a moment of silence before he finally speaks, and when he does, his voice is a cracked whisper. He is a flame all burnt out, the wax drying around him in a cracked cocoon that traps all the air.
His hallow eyes bore into the ground, "I thought I saw my mom today. This lady looked just like her- by Agni, just like her, Korra." a bitter laugh comes from his lips, "I just couldn't take it. Everything was rushing back to me in one moment, and I thought it was her. I ran to the lady and nearly attacked her in a hug. She freaked out, and her husband punched me in the face, thinking I was going to rob her, or hurt her, or something. I just broke down and started crying and calling her "mom". I freaked and ran all the way here. I...I'm sorry I worried you. I was just too emotional and couldn't go home. I just can't lie to Bolin, and I was too ashamed to tell him what happened. I thought he'd be mad at me or something...I don't know. I just..."his face darkens, his fist clenching, "I don't know what's wrong with me! I thought it was her, Korra...I thought it was her..." His face twists in this most grotesque grimace, and he shuts his eyes so tight that she sees the veins in his forehead pop.
"Oh, Mako...there is nothing wrong with you..." she smooths her fingers acorss his face, hoping to smooth out the twist, "Bolin wasn't mad...he was worried sick. We both were..." and that's all she can say because she doesn't want to start crying herself, and now his face is pressed so hard in her shoulder that she's scared to move.
She doesn't know what to say. She's not good with comforting people, and she can only sympathize with him.
His arms are a death grip around her and she embraces him just the same. He is trembling and moaning and her shirt is wet now.
She thinks watching someone you love, crying in pain and not being able to take their hurt away, is most helpless, hopeless, painful feeling in the world.
She laces her fingers in his hair, rubbing the back of head.
She keeps biting her lip to stop her own flood of emotions from leaking from her eyes.
She will not cry for him, she must be strong for him, just as he always is for her. Now it's her turn to be strong.
Another sob wracks his form and she can painstakingly imagine him as an eight year old boy, trying not to cry as he tells a six-old Bolin why their Mommy and Daddy are never coming back. She knows he's been forced back his tears endless times for his little brother's sake.
But she needs him to know that he can be free and vulnerable in front of her, no matter how much it aches her heart to see him this way.
She knows he needs to cry, that he needs to release all this pain that he's been holding back for so long. She promised him from the start that he can let go and share every secret with her, not matter how bad.
He needs to cry.
And she lets him, as she cradles him back and forth in a smelly allay that is littered with dead spider-rats.
If the brothers- the strongest and most loyal people that she has ever met- can survive their whole lives in these kinds of Spirit- awful conditions and still come out as amazing as they are now, then she can suppress the surge of vomit and tears fighting against her.
"Korra..." he whispers, so broken "It's not fair...I want them back..." he desperately grasps his fingers into her shirt, tears blinding his eyes.
"I know," she chokes, "Nothing ever is. I wish it were...I'm so sorry..."
And she grips him tighter, trying to show him all the love that the cruel world deprived him of, and she lets him cry.
She lets him cry, and cry, cry, untill he falls asleep in her arms, a life no one should ever have to endure, written on his sleeping face.
She leans against the wall, feeling hallow, helpless.
She wishes she could do more.
Sometimes, it hurts to love.
I'm sorry, I know it's depressing! Please don't hate me! :( I've been doing too many lovey-dovey, sexy chapters, so I had to do an angsty, tragic one!
Let me know what you think, please!