Chapter 10
After we cross the threshold, Bella's steps falter and she becomes immobile. I make my way in front of her and use my free hand to brush a few locks of hair out of her face. "Are you okay?" I ask worriedly.
"Hm," she mumbles, finally taking in my presence before her. "I'm scared," she whispers.
"It'll be okay. It's just our friends. Just think of it as a little test run for tomorrow," I say softly.
"You're right," she says, squeezing my hand.
I kiss her forehead and lead the way downstairs with Bella's hand still engulfed in my own. As we come downstairs I notice that all remnants from the party the night before are gone, replaced with the knick-knacks that were stored away during the event. I hear a little noise coming from the living so I head in that direction. At our entrance into the room, the soft chatter stops and all eyes turn to us.
"Bella," Rosalie says, jumping out of her spot next to Emmett and rushing towards Bella. She throws her arms around her friend's small frame and starts crying into their embrace.
"Are you okay? What happened? Do you need anything? Are you okay?" she fires off rapidly.
Still holding on to my hand, Bella hugs Rose with her other arm, crying silently with her. "I'm fine Rose. Edward and Emmett got there just in time. I don't really want to talk about it though. I see you've all been busy," she says pulling back and addressing everyone. "Thank you for cleaning everything up, I really appreciate it. I don't think I would have been able to do it by myself before tomorrow, so thanks."
"It was nothing," Alice replies from Jasper's lap on the overstuffed chair. "It was my idea for the party, therefore my responsibility to clean up the mess from it. I'm sorry," she whispers with tears falling form her eyes. "If I didn't insist on having the party, nothing would have happened to you. I'm so sorry Bella. Will you ever be able to forgive me?"
Bella releases my hand and walks over to Alice pulling her into a hug. "It wasn't your fault Alice. It wasn't anyone's fault except for James. I'm just glad that it happened here where there were people to save me. If it had happened at Eclipse… I don't even want to think of how far things would have gotten."
"She's right Alice," Jacob adds. "I've been trying to tell you that all last night and this morning. James has been bothering Bella for over a year now. He's a sick fuck who doesn't know what "no" means."
"Ugh, if you would have just gotten a real job instead of working at Eclipse, this whole thing could have been avoided," Rosalie grumbles.
Bella glares at Rosalie and returns to my side. "I thought we were done with this Rosalie. It paid good money and helped me pay for school, so sue me. If we're going to keep talking about this I'm just going to go back upstairs," she says motioning to the stairs.
"Alright, we'll stop," Rosalie panics, looking like she'll attack Bella if she tries to leave.
Emmett clears his throat from his spot on the sofa. "Before we close the subject I just want to say I'm sorry Belly," he says softly fidgeting with his hands. That's odd, Emmett never fidgets. "I'm the one that invited him and Royce to the party when I stopped by to tell Edward about it. And I'm sorry I didn't get to you sooner. If I didn't stop to go to the bathroom I would have been there right away with Edward. I said I would protect you last night and I didn't. It's all my fault."
"Oh Emmett," Bella breaths. "It's not you're fault anymore than it is anyone else's. I don't blame any of you. And it's because of you that you and Edward were able to break into the room. So thank you. It was almost too late," she says quietly.
I grab her arm and pull her to my chest, rubbing her back in soothing circles. "You're safe now. I won't let him come near you again," I whisper in her ear.
She sniffles into my shirt before pulling away and wiping her eyes. "Thank you," she murmurs. Turning back to everyone else she clears her throat, "Okay, who is all going to be here tomorrow after graduation? I need to know how much food I need to make."
Everyone stares at us in varying degrees of confusion and shock before Alice answers, "I think that we were just going to have something at our place. We didn't know if you would be up to… entertaining anyone."
"Well my parents are coming up tomorrow, so the more the merrier. And I know that your dad is coming up with my parents Jake so he'll be here. Rose you said that your parents were coming too, right?"
"Uh, yeah," she replies, eyeing Bella curiously. "Are you sure it won't be too many people here though Bella? I'm sure that Edward doesn't want to be entertaining a bunch of people he doesn't know.
"No it's fine. I don't mind having everyone over. And you three have been friends forever; I'm not going to separate you all on your graduation. You can tell mom and dad to come here too Alice, I told Bella that I would be here tomorrow."
"Okay, it's settled then. Well I have to go make a list of things for tomorrow, so if you'll excuse me," Bella says and goes to the kitchen.
I settle down in a spot next to Jacob as everyone glances between Bella's retreating form and me. "What," I ask confused.
"Should I go…" Rose trails off pointing to the kitchen.
"Would you normally help her with cooking stuff Rose?" I ask.
"Well, no. But is she okay?"
"No, she's not okay Rosalie. She was almost rapped last night. She's mostly concerned about how everyone is going to treat her now. She doesn't want anyone treating her differently or pitying her. Just act like you normally would," I say.
I want to tell them more, like how she feels embarrassed, but I know Bella wouldn't want them to know. That would just make her even more embarrassed. While I'm acting calm on the outside, I too am struggling with leaping off the sofa and going to her. I hope she is actually making a list for tomorrow and not hiding from everyone.
"I want to thank you man," Jacob says seriously. "I should have been watching out for Bella. I didn't even see James last night. So thanks for saving my girl."
I feel a slight tug in my gut when he calls Bella his girl. That's an odd reaction, I think to myself.
"You don't have to thank me Jake. I'd never forgive myself if I didn't make it there in time. I should have known something was off between the two of them when he was over for our project. But then Emmett came over and I totally forgot about the confrontation. Bella never told me who it was either, so I didn't think anything of it. I won't let it happen again though, I can guarantee you that."
"What did you tell mom and dad Alice?" I ask.
"Um, I told them that one of our friends had an emergency and that they should come tomorrow instead of today."
"So you didn't tell them what happened to Bella?" I clarify.
"No, I wouldn't do that to Bella. I didn't think that she would want anyone else to know. And speaking of mom and dad, did you even tell them about Bella? Cause they asked me if Maria was taking good care of you?"
I cringe when I reply, "No, I haven't told them about Bella. You know that I don't like using the phone. Don't tell them that she works for me though."
"Why not," she asks confused.
"I don't know. It just feel like it's just cheapening our friendship or something," I try to explain, not knowing how to phrase it exactly.
Alice and Emmett smirk at me, making me feel uncomfortable. What's that about?
We talk for a few more minutes about the party and graduation before I politely excuse myself to go check on Bella. When I walk into the kitchen, I relax instantly and feel myself breathe properly for the first time in the last ten minutes. I spot Bella sitting on a stool with a notepad in front of her. I walk over and take the seat next to her, startling her slightly.
"I was wondering how long it would take before someone came to check on me," Bella says not even looking in my direction.
"I'm sorry. I was getting anxious without having you near me. I could leave if you want me to," I offer halfheartedly.
"Oh," she squeaks, seeming mildly surprised. Glancing at me finally she says, "I wasn't expecting it to be you. I thought it would have been Rose or Alice, or even Jake. But not you."
I frown at her, "Why wouldn't you think it would be me?"
She gives me a small smile. "I've spent all morning with you, that's why. I'm just waiting for the Spanish inquisition to start."
I chuckle, "Well don't hold your breath. I told them to back off. Now, do we need to go shopping for tomorrow?" I ask, changing the subject.
Her smile grows, "Yes, we do," she says standing up with her list. "And thank you," she says appreciatively.
"Anytime love," I say kissing her cheek. "I'm going to let everyone know where we're going, be right back."
I retreat to the living room and inform everyone where we're going. The girls offer to come with but I refuse them, claiming it will go faster with just us two, when really I just want more time alone with Bella. I don't know where this sudden urge has come from to have Bella to myself, but everyone else is getting in the way of it. It's silly too because she lives with me so I'm alone with her the majority of the time anyway.
I grab my keys and wallet from the table by the door and a patiently waiting Bella. We go into the garage and I escort Bella to the passenger side where I open the door for her, earning a small giggle from her. I smile and make a mental note to make her laugh more often. Once we reach the store, I rush to open her door which she has half open already. I grumble a complaint receiving another chuckle. As we approach the entrance and other shoppers, I sense Bella starting to tense up beside me.
"Hey," I say, getting her attention. I grab her hand and give it a small squeeze. "You'll be fine. I'll be right here for you the whole time."
"I feel like everyone knows, like they're all looking at me," she says shifting uncomfortably, avoiding eye contact.
With my free hand, I lift her chin causing her to look at me. "No one is looking at you. And if they are it's because they can't help looking at the beautiful woman wishing they were in my place at your side."
She snorts, "Yeah right. More like what is he doing slumming it with someone like her."
"That's not true. Trust me. When have I ever said something that I don't mean?" I challenge.
"Ah," she opens and shuts her mouth a couple times before pursing her lips.
"Exactly," I beam. "Now come on love," I say dragging her through the sliding doors. "We have some shopping to do."
"That's different though," she mumbles under breath, which I choose to ignore.
We quickly make our way through the store. Bella stays as close to me as possible throughout the trip, only venturing a couple feet away from me, not that I mind. In fact, I prefer when she's near me, that way I know that she's safe away from creeps like James. I hope that he's not at graduation tomorrow. I don't know how Bella would handle seeing him.
When we return home we start putting everything away when everyone meanders into the kitchen. "What do you guys want for dinner," Bella asks as soon she sees everyone enter.
"You don't have to make us anything Bella. We were just wondering what you want us to do. Do you want us to leave so you can be alone or do you want us stay? It's totally up to; we'll do whatever you want so don't worry about hurting our feelings or anything if you want to kick us out," Alice says, speaking for everyone else.
Bella smiles, "I don't mind you guys staying. I was just going to make something for dinner and then I thought that we could watch a movie. How does that sound?"
"Good," everyone chimes in.
"I say we order pizza or Chinese," Emmett speaks out. "You'll be busy all day tomorrow cooking; take the night off."
"I don't-" Bella starts before I cut her off.
"He's right Bella. No cooking tonight, let's just relax and enjoy the night before all the craziness of tomorrow."
"Fine," she huffs. "But just for future reference, I enjoy cooking. It's relaxing for me."
We all laugh and head into the living room. I order Chinese for everyone as the girls debate what movie to watch. They eventually decide on Salt. Thank God I don't own any chick flicks, although I'm sure that part of my movie collection will grow with Bella living with me. Alice will like that. We all assume our usual seating arrangements: Alice and Jasper on the chair, Rose and Emmett on the loveseat, and Jacob, Bella and I on the couch. Dinner arrives a short while later and we all dig in.
After we're done eating, I notice Bella shifting around in her seat next to me. I lean into her and ask, "Are you alright?"
"Yeah, I'm just trying to find a comfortable position. I might just sit on the floor," she whispers back.
"You can lean on me if you want," I offer, putting my arm around her and pulling her to me. "I'm sure I'm more comfortable than the floor."
She chuckles and agrees, snuggling into my side. Before long, the movie is over and we say our goodbyes promising to see everyone in the morning. Once they're all gone, Bella heads to the kitchen with me following behind her like a lost puppy. She starts pulling out various items when I ask, "You can't possibly still be hungry."
"No," she laughs. "I'm just going to prep some stuff tonight so I don't have to do it all tomorrow. Although, if I do it tomorrow, it will take more time away from entertaining my parents," she says tapping a finger on her chin in contemplation.
I smile and shack my head. "Tell me what to do chef. I'm at your service."
She instructs me to cut up some vegetables while she whips up some batches of cookies. I stealthily sneak some cookie dough when she's not looking, moaning quietly when I place it in my mouth. Bella's head snaps in my direction furrowing her eyebrows. "What did you say?" she asks.
"I didn't say anything," I say innocently.
"Huh," she says not convinced. "I could have sworn I heard you mumble something."
"Nope. I think you're hearing things."
She walks back over to the mixer and looks in the bowl as she's adding the chocolate chips. "Edward!" she exclaims, slapping my arm. "You're not supposed to eat the dough. I won't have any cookies for tomorrow!"
"I don't know what you're talking about. I'm just cutting the vegetables like you told me to," I emphasize by over exaggerating my knife movements.
"Oh really?" she asks raising an eyebrow, not impressed. "Because the finger marks in the dough beg to differ."
"Crap," I mutter, knowing I'm caught. "Well you see," I start to explain, "I needed to taste test the dough to make sure it was good. We can't be serving rubbish to our guests tomorrow."
"So you're saying my cooking is bad now? Well if that's the case, you can cook everything yourself," she smirks at me.
"What?" I panic. "That is not what I'm saying at all. I love your cooking and your baking even more. Don't tell my mother… but you're a way better cook than her. Please," I pout, "I promise to be good."
Her eyes slightly glaze over and she nods her head dumbly. She turns around and continues baking as if nothing has happened. That's odd, she usually has a come back of some sort.
"And besides, if I didn't like your cooking, why would I be asking for cooking lessons from you?"
"Because anything is a step up from your cooking?" she quips back.
I laugh, "Well now you're just degrading your own cooking. Your cooking is more than a step up from mine."
"Thanks," she smiles. "Now back to work," she mock scolds.
After we're all done prepping for tomorrow, we decide to call it a night and head to bed. At the top of the stairs Bella hesitates by her room, but before she can make a decision I grab her hand, "And where do you think you're going?" I ask.
"I," she motions to her door, "was going to go to my room," she says more as a question.
"Don't be ridiculous. You're door isn't fixed," I say by means of explanation for dragging to her to my room.
"But-" she starts before I cut her off.
"And you'd be doing me a favor by staying with me. You're door doesn't have a lock and the guest room is further away so I wouldn't hear if you needed me." The excuses just keep pouring out of my mouth before I can stop them. Why do I keep lying to her? Well I guess it's partially true, but really I just like having her in my bed. Stop it Edward; she's you're employee. "Unless this makes you too uncomfortable," I amend quickly.
A light blush covers her cheeks, "No, it's fine. I don't want to be alone just yet and I couldn't handle not having a lock or being in a new room. So thanks."
"It's no problem," I assure her. "I'm just going to use the bathroom. If you want to find something to sleep in you can look in my dresser. You can use anything you want."
I make quick work in the bathroom, anxious to get out to Bella. When I come back out, she has a small pile of clothes in her arms that she takes into the bathroom with her. I lock the door, turn off the lights, and get in bed, turning on the lamp on the nightstand. Bella comes out a couple minutes later wearing a pair of my boxers and an old high school t-shirt.
"You look cute. My clothes have never looked so good," I compliment, immediately cursing my lack of filter. Although my comments are one hundred percent true, I don't think that Bella appreciates being accosted by her employer while recovering from her almost-rape.
She blushes, "Uh, thanks." She drops her other clothes by the hamper and slowly makes her way over to the bed.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I-" I start rambling when Bella interrupts.
"It's fine Edward, really. If I'm ever uncomfortable in a particular situation or by something you say I'll tell you. So, if you don't hear a complaint from me, then you can assume I'm fine. Okay?"
"Okay," I agree. "I just don't want to overstep any boundaries. I tend to do that occasionally, like with Rosalie."
"Let's not talk about Rose," she says while pulling the blankets up to her neck, turning on her side to look at me. "So, when is everyone coming over tomorrow?"
"After the ceremony I believe," I say mimicking her actions. "Are your parents stopping by before or going directly there?"
"They're going straight there. I'll meet up with them afterwards and give them directions to the house. Shit," she groans.
"What?" I ask.
"I never really explained my, uh, living situation with them. I mean they know Mike and I broke up but they still think that I work at the library on campus. I told them I was working there because I obviously couldn't tell them that I was working at the club. Shit," she groans again.
"Well if they ask, just say that I offered you a place to live after you broke up with Mike. You don't have to tell them that you're my housekeeper if you don't want to. My parents don't know about the situation either, so we can stick with that story if you want. And if our mothers are feeling especially snoopy, we'll just tell them that we met in class, which is totally feasible."
Bella smirks at me, "You've really thought this through, haven't you?"
I shrug, "Alice brought it to my attention earlier that I never told my parents about you. It's not that I deliberately didn't tell them, I just haven't spoken with them since Maria left. I hate using the phone so I never got the chance to tell them," I explain so she doesn't think that I'm embarrassed or ashamed by her.
"Yes, I know of this aversion to phones. I do recall almost having to walk home one day because you forgot about me and wouldn't answer your phone."
"Ugh," I groan. "I'm sorry. I just got caught up in my reading and lost track of time. I'm doing better though. I answer your texts during the week."
"I know. I'm just giving you a hard time. But we should probably get some shut eye; we have to get up bright and early so we can get ready."
"You're probably right," I say switching off the light and pulling Bella into my arms automatically. "Is this okay," I ask quietly.
"It's perfect," she replies, snuggling into my chest. "Goodnight night Edward."
"Goodnight love. See you in the morning," I mumble into her hair, giving her a chaste kiss.
What seems like minutes later, the alarm is blaring in my eardrum, demanding attention. "I got it," Bella mumbles sleepily while leaning over me to switch it off before snuggling back into my chest.
"I could get used to waking up like this," I yawn, tightening my grip on her so she knows I'm referring to her.
"Me too. I don't know how I'll be able to go back to my own bed after this," she says in response.
"Well we don't have to think about that just yet. Your door still has to get fixed and even then, you can sleep here for as long as need until you're comfortable again."
"Thank you," she murmurs. After several minutes of silence she says, "We should probably get up. Lots of stuff to do today."
"I guess so," I grumble, earning a giggle from Bella.
"You can shower first while I get breakfast ready. Sound good?"
"Yeah," I agree dragging myself towards the bathroom and shutting the door quietly behind me.
Still not fully awake, I stand under the hot stream of water for nearly twenty minutes before I finally resolve myself to get out. I dry off quickly and throw on some jeans and t-shirt so I don't get my dress clothes wrinkled before graduation. Walking into the kitchen I see a bowl of fresh fruit, a muffin, and a cup of coffee waiting for me. "Looks delicious, thank you," I compliment.
"You're welcome," Bella replies handing me a section of the morning paper.
I enjoy how comfortable our morning routine is. Bella makes breakfast and we eat at the island, splitting the newspaper, passing sections back and forth, commenting on stories, and informing each other of our plans for the day. I never thought I'd have this type of camaraderie before, but now that I have it, I'm afraid what will happen when Bella leaves.
As Bella sets down her paper and starts collecting her dishes I say, "I'll clean up. You can go shower and get ready. If you'd rather, you can use my bathroom if you'd be more comfortable," I offer.
"Thank you. I'd like that if it wouldn't be too bothersome. Just thinking about my bathroom brings up images of… him."
"It's no problem. Did you need me to grab anything out of your room or bathroom for you to get ready?"
"Oh. I forgot about that. Maybe if you just come up with me while I grab some stuff I'll be okay. Is that okay?" she asks while biting her lip and fidgeting with her fingers.
"Of course," I say grabbing her hand and leading her up to her room. The closer we get to the room, the tighter Bella grips my hand.
I push open her door and feel Bella freeze beside me. I turn to look at her and see a vacant expression on her face. "Hey," I whisper, ghosting the backs of my fingers over her cheek. "Tell me what you need and I'll grab it so you don't have to come in."
Her hand tightens on my own as she shakes her head minutely taking in the room. She takes several tentative steps into the room and then leads the way into the bathroom. She empties out a small woven basket into the sink and quickly refills it with her shower supplies and various makeup items. I watch her closely for any more signs of distress but see none. Taking one last glance around the bathroom, she starts walking back into the bedroom when she comes to a sudden halt, dropping the basket and falling to her knees as a gut-wrenching sob breaks free from her lips.
I rush to her side, pulling her into my arms trying to soothe her. "Leave me alone!" Bella yells out, thrashing out against my chest. "Don't touch me!"
I immediately let go of her but she continues hitting any bit of me she can reach. "I'm sorry Bella," I say quickly, not knowing what to do. "I was just trying to help you. What can I do? Tell me what to do?" I plead.
"Don't touch me! Leave me alone," she sobs. "Help! Someone! Anyone! Help me! Please."
Realizing she must be having a flashback, I grab onto her hands to stop her from hitting me. "Bella," I yell, trying to break through to her. "Bella, it's me, Edward. You're safe. No one is hurting you. It's just you me."
"Let me go," she rasps out, struggling against my hold. "Edward!" she yells, "Help me!"
"I'm right here Bella. Look at me baby," I say trying to get her to look at my face, feeling tears of my own accumulating in my eyes. "You're safe," I tell her, trying to put my arms around her once again. She struggles a little more as I keep talking to her, but eventually she slumps against my chest and burrows into my arms as her crying ebbs away.
"Shh," I whisper, "I've got you. You're safe." I gently rock her back forth, placing random kisses upon her head every now and then. Deciding to get her out of this room, I slowly start rising with her still in my arms and carefully readjust her so I can carry her. I make my way to my bedroom and lay her on my bed.
"Don't leave me," Bella breathes softly.
"I won't be far. I'm going to run a bath for you; I'll be right back love. I promise."
I quickly run to the bathroom to start the water and then rush to Bella's bathroom to pick up the forgotten basket of items. I finish setting up the bathroom for Bella and then go to retrieve her. The frail girl I return to is nothing like the carefree woman from this morning. Though her eyes are open, they appear dull and lifeless and don't seem to be taking in anything from her surroundings. I pick her up once again and set her on the edge of the bathtub.
"Bella," I say softly, brushing the hair from her eyes. "There's a nice hot bath ready for you. Do you need anything before I leave?"
Slowly her eyes lock with mine, "Don't leave me. Stay."
"Are you sure?" I ask, shocked by her request.
"I don't want to be alone," she whispers, "I'm afraid."
"Okay," I concede.
After several long minutes of watching Bella stare into space, I realize that she's not really in the frame of mind to bathe herself. "Bella," I say to get her attention again. Once she looks at me I continue, "I'm going to help you get undressed so you can get in the tub. Is that okay?"
She continues to look at me with a blank expression, neither agreeing nor disagreeing. Placing my hands on her hips, I help her into a standing position so I can remove her clothing easier. Maintaining eye contact, I grab the waistband of her shorts and underwear and slowly drag them down her legs. I gently lift each leg to remove the garments before returning to a standing position. She doesn't offer any acknowledgment, just continues to watch my eyes with her own. I grasp her waist once again, fisting the t-shirt material in hand; bit-by-bit I raise the shirt until it's free from her body. Now completely bare, I carefully help her into the tub.
I never thought I'd be in this type of situation in my life. Well, not this exact situation. Never having been with a woman before, this is not how imagined my first time would be. While undressing Bella, I tired to keep my composure but it was near impossible to ignore with every inch of new flesh I exposed. I kept eye contact with her unless it was absolutely necessary for me to look at what I was doing. I don't know how I'll be able to look at her again, and not picture her perfect features every time.
Not wanting to cross any more lines than I already have, I refrain from joining her in the tub. Instead, I begin wetting and washing her hair then lathering up a loofah and gently washing her body. During the process my shirt and jeans become drenched in water. After I'm done, I pull the plug and let the water drain as I wrap Bella up in her bathrobe and her hair in a towel. I then lead her back to the bedroom and set her on the bed, excusing myself to make a phone a call.
I step out of the room and immediately dial Alice's number, quickly informing her of the morning's breakdown, leaving out the part of me bathing Bella. Needing no further commentary, Alice hangs up with the promise of arriving in twenty minutes to help Bella get ready for graduation.
A/N: Hey folks… sorry, sorry, sorry. I feel really bad that it's been so long since I've updated, but better late than never I guess. This was supposed to be posted around Valentine's Day but that didn't happen. Then it was my 21st birthday so I was a little preoccupied. On top of that my grandma has been in and out of the hospital between falling down and breaking her nose to having brain surgery to remove a blood clot and tumor… so yeah it's been a busy couple weeks. I'll try to do better and get this completed before I leave for boot camp in May, but with the way things have been going I can't make any promises. I hope you enjoy.
Review please!