Chapter 10

Cabin Fever

House looked at her home and it was as he had seen it in the vision, a log cabin with a porch and several out buildings, including one that stored cut wood. Teagan went to the trunk to open it just as a dog ran up to greet her, wagging it's tail. The dog looked like an Australian Shepherd and it looked very happy to see her.

"Meet Molly, my dog. Molly, go see Greg." Molly left Teagan and ran to greet House. He reached down and scratched the Australian Shepherd mix behind her ear and under her chin. Her black hair was soft and clean.

"Who's been taking care of your dog?"

"My next door neighbor. He lives about a quarter mile away and always looks after her when I'm gone. He kind of feels obligated since Molly was his dog. She started coming over here and then she just stopped going home at nights. I adopted her by default. He didn't seem to mind even though he loves her. When I'm gone she goes back over there to eat and sleep. She's kind of fickle."

House had a wide grin and marveled at the idea that the community shared the chores of taking care of each other's pets. They went inside the screen door and the wood door with a large panel window. He put his bag down on the hardwood floor. The place smelled a little musty, so Teagan opened a window and the front door to air it out. There were several large hooked rugs in the living room, dining area and her bedroom. It was homey and sweet inside, but not spacious at all. There was a love seat, an easy chair and a rocker all centered around the fireplace. There were built in bookcases all over the house and they were filled with books, cds, candles and oil lamps. She grabbed his bag and took it into the bedroom. There was a full bed with a quilt and big fluffy pillows.

"What is it with women and pillows?" House asked.

"They make life softer." She said.

The room had one nightstand, a chest of drawers and a small closet. The bed was pushed up against the the wall to save room. There was another, even smaller, room with a desk and a twin bed built in over the desk. Each room had both electric lights and oil lamps hanging on the walls.

"What's with the oil lamps?"

"I'm off the grid." she said.

House was surprised, "You are? How do you get electricity?"

"Two ways. I have a gas generator and solar panels. But as you can see, the pine trees block a the sun in the mornings and in the winter it isn't that sunny anyways. I had the panels positioned where they would get the most light, but it's always iffy. We need to run to the store at the lodge before it closes and get some milk, bread, eggs, and margarine."

"My God this is so 'Back to the Prairie." House was amazed at how rustic the tiny cabin was.

"Welcome to my world."

"You don't cook on that stove do you?" House was referring to the black iron stove that required wood to heat food.

"Yes, I do, I tried using a microwave, but it used too much electricity." She said with sincerity, "Can I ask a favor? Can you go back to the store and get the food and pick up my mail? I need to stoke the stove, get in wood, start up the refrigerator and check the solar panels all before the sun goes down in an hour."

"Ok." He did as she asked and returned with two grocery bags full of mail. Most of the mail appeared to be handwritten mail from all over the world. He suspected it came from people desperate for her to help them.

Teagan put the groceries away and put the kettle on to make a pot of tea. That evening House moaned about her not having a television, just games and books. But in reality, he was enjoying just talking and watching the fire. When they went to bed, House gathered her in his arms, holding her tightly as he quickly fell asleep

Teagan managed to pry House's arms from around her, got up and went back out to the living room. She lit an oil lamp and sat in the soft light thinking about the next day. It would start with her cooking him breakfast, then they would get into the truck and she would drive him to Stockton, to the Avis rental lot. He would get out, grab his bag and then give her a kiss and it would be over. No strings, no promises. House wasn't the kind to make promises of anything in the future and she was actually grateful for that. She would want desperately to believe him if he said he would be back. If he promised nothing, then there was nothing to dream about.

I'm so mad at myself. How could I let this happen? How could I let myself start to have feelings for someone so cynical, so unhappy and so soon to be gone? I thought I was smarter than this. I thought I could insulate myself by constantly reminding myself it was a short term relationship and would be over as soon as it began. I don't dare open the gate to see how he feels, it would be too big a blow if I found out I was just a three day fling and it was all sex to him. Knowing House, I suspect that's what it is. Any port in the storm. But as long as I don't open the gate, I won't know for sure and I can delude myself that it is, that it was, more.

Teagan went to bed around 1:00 a.m. and finally managed to get to sleep an hour later. It was hard because House was snoring fairly loud and Teagan was used to the silence of the mountain nights.

xxx

Molly woke her up the next morning by licking her face. She looked at the clock, 6:33 a.m. Ugh. She slowly got up, stoked the stove, got the coffee pot ready and put it on the burner to percolate. Then she grabbed a cast iron skillet out and made sure everything was ready for when Greg woke up.

He woke up around eight and wandered out to the kitchen where he could smell the coffee on the stove. He poured himself a cup and looked around, she was nowhere to be seen. He went out to the front porch and looked out. It was a nice view of meadows and pine trees. There were even a couple of deer eating in the meadow. He still didn't see her so he sat down in the rocker on the porch to wait. A few minutes later she pulled up in a truck. She got out and came towards him.

"Good morning sleepy head! How do you feel?" She asked, her voice artificially perky.

"Fine. Where were you? Is that your truck?"

"I went up to garage my Mustang and pick up the truck. I don't usually drive the Mustang around here so I rent a garage from Nelly up the road."

"What year is it?"

"1989 Ford 150."

He followed her inside while she made him eggs, bacon, toast and coffee. They ate at the table and afterwards House went into the bathroom to take a shower. He was surprised that he had plenty of hot water. He toweled off in the shower, dressed and then packed his bag. When he was ready to go, he threw his bag in the back of the truck and they took off down the road. She didn't bother locking the door, which House thought was odd. They drove west through Groveland and then another hour and half to Stockton. They had been silent for most of the trip.

"So what's your plan?" Teagan asked.

"I'm going to probably go over to San Jose and make my way down the coast through Monterey, Big Sur, San Luis Obispo, Santa Barbara, L.A. and then into San Diego to see my mom."

"When is your seminar?"

"Ten days from today." he turned and smiled warmly at her.

They were quiet for quite awhile. Finally she broke the silence,"We'll be in Stockton in less than twenty minutes, do you want to go to Avis, Hertz or Budget?"

"Avis."

"Avis it is."

Again they traveled in silence. House wasn't sure what to say to her. He wasn't sure what he was telling himself. He just had to get through the next few minutes and the burden would be lifted.

She pulled up in the Avis Rental parking lot and stopped the car without turning it off. House looked over at her and could see she was grinning too hard. She was trying to make it easy on him. He didn't understand it. Why would she let him slip off the hook so easily? She wasn't like any other woman he knew.

"Well, I had a great time. Thanks for the lift. You have my email, address and phone number. If you make it back to Princeton, look me up."

"Yeah, you do the same. Now that you know where I live, feel free to stop by if you're near Yosemite. Molly and I would love to have you."

He leaned over and gave her a kiss on the lips and then opened the door. As his feet hit the pavement he grabbed his bag and gave her a wave. When he turned to go into the building he heard the engine rev and the truck take off. He felt sad, sad and ashamed. Ashamed that he couldn't give her more than just a "see ya."

I clenched my jaw as I left the parking lot, hoping that by doing so I could stop the feeling of loneliness and sadness. But it was there, lurking at the stop light. It hitched a ride all the way home. I don't think I had cried that hard in years.

Dear Readers: I'm hoping you're enjoying this. If you are, please let me know! Thanks for reading.