An: Sorry this chapter took a while to get up. I got distracted with a one shot and Christmas etc (I hope everyone enjoyed their holidays!)

Chapter Ten

'Breathe, pirate.' Tink slapped him on the back in a way that he was sure he was supposed to think was encouraging but was a tad more forceful than truly necessary. 'It's only Emma. She's fallen in love with you before, just relax a bit, would you?'

Killian glared at her sideways as they followed Neal through the halls of the castle. The staff had organized rooms for them and they'd deposited their few belongings, and now were on their way to see Emma. To thank her for her kind suggestion, officially, but he would have taken any excuse to see her again, to just be in her presence.

And to apologize. His behaviour from the previous night was what was truly worrying him. There was no way that he wouldn't have tried true love's kiss, even if he'd known the unlikelihood of it working, but his failed attempt left him in an incredibly awkward situation with Emma. It was more than just the embarrassment that one would normally feel in such a situation - how could she trust a man who threw himself at his friend's wife? She'd made her disgust with him quite clear last night before he'd fled, and how was he supposed to work his way back from that?

The only thing that was settling his nerves even slightly was the knowledge that she hadn't told Neal about their kiss. Perhaps he had a chance after all.

'I feel like a bloody hero out of one of Belle's adventure books, come to woo the princess,' he grumbled.

Tink snorted in a rather unladylike manner and Neal glanced over his shoulder with a smirk, first to Tink then at him. 'You certainly don't look like one,' Tink said. 'I wondered if Princess Emma likes leather as much as saviour Emma does?'

Killian huffed, ignoring the slight. The tailor had had his final garments ready when they dropped in on the way to the castle, and the first thing Killian had done when he reached his new rooms had been to change into the more familiar clothing. The black leather pants and billowing shirt were almost identical to the style he'd preferred before he'd come to Storybrooke, but he'd chosen a few different colours as well as a black one, for variety.

'I won her over before, as a pirate. Why should this be any different?' He flashed them a grin full of confidence that he did not feel and ignored Tink's eye roll.

'At least we're actually here now,' Tink said. 'We have a lot to be grateful to Regina for. If she hadn't spared us then who knows what could have happened?'

'You can thank Regina all you like, as soon as you stop her from trying to kill us,' Neal said wryly, glancing over his shoulder again. After a moment his expression turned thoughtful and he paused for a moment, falling into step on his other side so the three of them walked abreast. 'What would your happy ending have been if you'd been brought back with us?' he asked Killian.

His happy ending? Killian laughed. 'I already had my happy ending, mate. All I need is my wife and Henry. What more could I ask for?'

A daughter?

Shut up.

'There's nothing else you'd want for?' Neal asked cautiously, his expression almost unreadable. Almost.

Tink noticed as well. 'No curse can bring back the dead, Neal. Not without them losing what makes them who they are.'

Neal looked away quickly, clearing his throat. Killian shouldn't have been surprised that after all this time Baelfire still hurt for his mother, because he still missed her too. He knew he always would. He'd never truly be able to let go of Milah and Emma had never asked him to, just as he'd never asked her to stop wearing the shoelace around her wrist once he'd learnt who it had belonged to. 'Let's focus on the living for today,' he suggested quietly.

Neal nodded sharply and gestured to the wide double doors in front of them - the royal library. Normally Emma would assist Snow and David when they held court in the afternoons but some days she would retreat to the library instead; even her new, happier self found the benefit in solitude.

Killian followed Neal and Tink into the library, staring around in wonder. He'd seen castle libraries before but nothing so expansive. 'This is enormous,' Tink said, clearly sharing his thoughts.

Neal chuckled, his grey mood broken. 'This is just one room. I suppose that this is one of the pros of the curse, right? The ogres were never here and we didn't have to put any work into restoring the kingdom like we thought we would.' There were a few people in sight but none close enough to overhear them. Killian stepped further into the room, looking around and taking in the floor to ceiling shelves filled with books, this room alone filled with more volumes than he'd seen in his life. 'You just wait until you see the map room,' he told Killian with a grin.

Although his interest was definitely piqued, his mind was still back on the offhand comment that he'd made just before. 'Belle would have truly felt at home here,' he said quietly, running his thumb over the spine of a book. 'She told me about the library at your father's castle, but from what I've heard this one surely challenges that for size.' His hand clenched into a fist and he pulled away so as not to damage any of the books. He missed her, the sweet, lovely young thing who somehow had had a heart large enough to forgive him for shooting her and making her forget her true self. He'd mourned her before the curse had struck and while he'd been stuck in the hospital, but things had moved so quickly since then and he'd been so focused on finding Emma that he hadn't given the girl enough thought, and he felt ashamed. 'We didn't even have a chance to give her a proper funeral. I'm so sorry, Neal.'

He felt the other man's hand on his shoulder and turned back to them. 'There's nothing you could have done,' he said, just as he'd told him multiple times after the fact. 'We'll give her a proper goodbye once I get my father back.'

'I don't even know if her body came here with everything else,' Killian said, and the look on Tink's face said she knew no more than he did. 'None of the people that she meant the most to remember even her life, let alone her death. You lost a brother and nobody knows of it.'

'Which will change as soon as the curse is broken,' Neal pointed out. 'She's not going to blame us for not mourning her when she was magically erased from our memories. Belle would want us to fight for truth more than anything.'

'More than everyone's happy endings?' he asked bitterly.

'This isn't my father's happy ending. Not really.'

'But I think I know why he got it,' Tink piped up. Killian turned his body slightly to include her again. 'Yes, this curse has seemed to mostly give everyone their happy ending, but not quite for everyone. You've been happy with Emma until Killian woke you up, right? But before, and now that you remember, you don't actually want to be with her.'

The fairy was doing her best to look casual in her question but Killian noticed how her brow drew together slightly in anxiety and her lips twitched into an almost hopeful smile. He wondered if Neal noticed as well or if Tink had managed to speak to him about her feelings yet.

Neal's face gave away nothing except for an uncertainty of where she was going. 'That's right,' he said slowly. 'I'll always care for her, but she'd not the woman that I want to be with.'

Tink's cheeks coloured slightly but she kept her head up steadily. 'Exactly. But you'd want to be with Henry, and Emma would have wanted to be with Henry, so the two of you ended up together.'

'At least it didn't put me with Regina,' Neal joked, but sobered again quickly. 'I don't see what this has to do with my father.'

'I'm saying that maybe your father was different, too. He couldn't have his wife, so he was given the next best thing.'

Neal's face fell the smallest amount before his guard snapped up. 'Which wasn't me. Power and fear were more important.'

'And escape,' Tink said quickly, reaching out to grasp his arm. 'He's mostly been alone since you left him, hasn't he? Maybe he wanted to retreat into the familiar?'

Killian narrowed his eyes at her. 'What do you mean, "he wanted"? Do you think he had something to do with this curse?'

'He didn't do it,' Neal said, sounding more tired than affronted. Killian opened his mouth to point out that he did create the original one but Neal held his hand up to stop him. 'I'm not saying that it's not something that he would do, just that this isn't like him. Why would he make everybody happy and then make himself the enemy? If this was his doing, he'd have made everybody as miserable as he was. Better to see us suffer. He's reverted completely back to Rumpelstiltskin and our happiness would have made him sick.'

'Could it have been just a flaw in the magic?' Killian asked Tink. Who else would wish them harm?

She shrugged. 'It could have been anything. Honestly, I'm more interested in breaking it. We can figure out the rest then.'

Breaking the curse. Making Emma fall in love with him. Killian rubbed at the back of his neck, hesitating as the others moved further into the library. Neal glanced back at him, his smirk telling him that he guessed exactly where Killian's thoughts were. 'When was the last time that she was angry with you?' he asked.

Killian snorted. 'Every other day. However, I had the benefit of her knowing that she loved me to help with that. I'm afraid that this isn't so simple.'

'You mean you can't distract her with sex,' Tink said dryly.

'Which is a fantastic place to stop this conversation,' Neal said before Killian could reply. 'Come on, and let's hope that she'll give you a chance without you having to pull her into a bed.'

Killian followed him through the library, Tink by his side. There were several rooms as large as the first, filled with books and tapestries and other historical artifacts. He wondered how many of them were unexplainable due to the peoples' altered memories, and whether they had new stories for them or whether they were just forgotten. Was it just their recent histories that had changed, or did it go back further than that? Would events from fifty years ago alter their happiness now?

It would have altered his, if not for Emma. Until a few years ago, he'd given up his hope for happiness and had wished only for his death and the death of the man who had killed his Milah. If he'd been trapped in this curse then, would he have forgotten about her? Would he have forgotten Liam? He knew that his memory of them was ever fading, their faces slowly becoming fuzzy over their years and the sound of their voices muffled, but to not remember them at all...

He shook himself slightly. There was a time for remembrance, but like he'd said just before, they had to focus on the living.

Emma had a favoured place in the library, a small table nestled in an alcove that offered a little privacy from the rest of the library. She sat there now, sitting on the edge of her chair with her head bent over the desk, her fingers tracing the words quickly as she read. She looked up as they approached, surprise on her face before it smoothed into an easy smile. Killian saw straight through it. She looked tired, her skin pale with dark smudges under her eyes that hadn't been there the night before. She looked genuinely pleased to see Neal as she rose to her feet and planted a kiss to his cheek, but he didn't miss the haste with which she snapped her book shut and tucked it into the middle of the pile in front of her before she did so.

'You were gone awhile,' she said to Neal, keeping her eyes on him and barely acknowledging himself of Tink, but Killian could read the tension in her shoulders and the way she held herself to mean that she was very aware of them. He scratched idly at his beard, using the movement to hide his smirk. Her choice not to look at him only gave him a better opportunity to take her in.

And he'd never get tired of looking at her, separation or not. She was dressed a lot less glamorously today but no less beautiful, wearing a simple long sleeved dress that he was sure was just the everyday clothing for a princess but that the Emma Swan he knew would never have dared been seen in.

Neal smiled down at her, shrugging. 'We had a few errands to run in the city, and I've just shown Tink and Killian to their rooms.'

With no excuse not to acknowledge them now, Killian still wasn't surprised when she turned first to Tink, who smiled at her brightly. 'Thank you for your hospitality, Your Highness. Emma,' Tink corrected herself when Emma opened her mouth and Emma returned her smile.

'It's no trouble, I guarantee it,' Emma said, reaching out to take both of Tink's hands in her own. 'I'm looking forward to getting to know you.'

'And we, you,' Killian said, stepping forward and making her attention fall openly on him for the first time since they'd arrived. Emma's face was carefully guarded when she finally turned to him, but not anywhere near as guarded as it should have been. A person's experiences made them who they were, and even though she was quite clearly distrustful of him now, she wasn't as used to keeping her walls up as her true self was. Although she tried to hide it, he saw the hesitance in her eyes, the caution.

The curiosity.

After a moment she returned to her seat, turning her back on him in a way that was a dismissal if he'd ever seen one, but that curiosity encouraged him. 'I thought our guests would like to see some more of the library,' Neal said to Emma, who turned in her seat to smile at him, all traces of conflict gone from her expression. 'Would you like to join us?'

'Perhaps in a while,' Emma said, nodding toward first Tink and then himself before taking the top book from the pile in front of her and opening it to a page in the middle. She clearly had no interest in entertaining, and although Killian was determined to find the reason behind her curiosity for him, he was feeling a little on edge from her attitude.

'There's a section on the fairies of this world that you might find interesting,' Neal said to Tink, offering her his arm and the two of them started to step away. Killian hesitated, unsure of whether or not to follow. He knew he needed to talk to Emma alone, but the forcefulness of her rejection the previous night coupled with the magnitude of the task in front of him weighed at him suddenly. He was about to step after Neal and Tink when Tink threw a glare over her shoulder to him, nodding toward Emma with an expression on her face that he was sure meant that she'd come over and hit him if he didn't take the opportunity to speak to her.

He wasn't sure whether Emma was aware that he'd stayed behind or not, but her attention seemed to be completely back on the book in front of her. He took a moment to steady himself, taking a deep breath before stepping closer to the table.

It was only Emma.

She looked up at him as he seated himself across the small table from her, the small pile of books between them but low enough that he could see her quite clearly. Her brow rose slightly at him as she noticed him, before it drew down into a frown. 'You've little understanding of court etiquette don't you, Captain?' she asked, the dryness in her tone almost the same as the one he was familiar with.

Should he have asked her permission to sit? Feeling strangely encouraged by her words anyway, Killian flashed her a grin. 'I'm rather terrible at playing by the rules, milady, but I am a gentleman.'

Her eyebrows shot up again and he felt his grin widen despite himself. She seemed more expressive without those guards around her emotions, and he had a feeling that he could use that to his advantage - if she let him in. 'Your actions so far show you in a different light,' she said, immediately pulling his mood down a notch. That wasn't quite contempt in her voice, but it didn't feel like it was too far off.

He had to work quickly, and even if time had been on his side, the expression on her face made his insides twist rather painfully. He couldn't bear for her to think of him like that, even if she didn't understand what was truly going on.

He wanted to drop his gaze, to look away from the disdain in her eyes - was that real, or was she exaggerating it? - but he made himself look right at her, into her as he silently pleaded with her to see into him. 'I'm here to apologize,' he told her seriously, all traces of humour gone from him. She seemed to notice, for her hands left the book in front of her and settled in her lap, turning her full attention to him. He wished that he could read her but she kept her expression neutral now, and he knew that she was making some sort of judgement on him. 'My behaviour last night was deplorable.'

'Why did you kiss me?' she asked him quickly, quietly, glancing around them before returning her eyes to him. He started at her bluntness - he'd had more that he'd been prepared to say about how atrocious his actions had been, but she went right to the thick of things.

He considered her for a few seconds before dropping his gaze to the table, sighing lightly. Did she still have her talent for telling a lie? He'd have to risk it. 'I'm not proud of my actions,' he told her softly. 'I feel uncomfortable in this realm. I have no good explanation for you, Emma, other than that it was a foolish act by a man who was not in his right mind at the time.'

She was silent until he looked up at her, and he found her eyes on him still, narrowed. 'Are you in your right mind now?'

Ignoring any slight that could have been taken from that, he offered her a small smile. 'As right as I can be,' he tried, but wasn't surprised when she didn't laugh.

He wasn't surprised when she rolled her eyes, but she seemed to be from the frown the immediately flawed her brow. Leaning forward in her seat, she studied him seriously. 'I don't trust you,' she said bluntly.

His mood slipped further. 'Emma -'

'No. I think you're going to cause trouble. I know almost nothing about your past with my husband, or why you're here, but since you rocked up he's been acting differently.' Her gaze hardened a little further, if that were possible. 'I gather you've figured out that I didn't tell him about what we did since he walked in here with such a big smile on his face, but that's only because I'm not going to bother him further with something that meant nothing to either of us. I'm hoping that you're not such a terrible friend as to try and do something that stupid again.'

Killian closed his eyes, giving himself a moment to sort through his thoughts. So many mixed feelings, but he tried to focus on the few good ones. It was harder than he'd imagined, with things like meant nothing echoing around his head.

'Neal doesn't have many people of his own,' Emma continued after a moment, and a lot of the anger had left her voice. 'Most of the friends he has are mine, and he's had to live a rather solitary life with us because of his father and Regina. For his sake, I'm glad that Tinkerbell and yourself are here, and that's the only reason why you're still here. The second that I tell him about what you tried to do, you would both be out on the streets, and I won't lie to him twice.' She leaned forward further and he looked up at her, feeling just as chastised as she intended, even if the situation wasn't quite as she understood. 'You'll forget what happened and not wish for it again. I know your type, Jones, and your charms will not work on me.'

We'll see about that. 'I don't intend for them to,' he said aloud, hoping she wouldn't catch the lie. 'I was hoping we could start afresh,' he said honestly, widening his eyes to implore her to believe that, at least. 'I would like to stay here awhile, to get to know yourself and your family. For Neal's sake,' he added quickly.

They watched each other, Killian trying to figure out what she was thinking. He'd always been able to read her so well and although she wasn't as used to hiding herself from people now, he had to remind himself that she wasn't the person that she used to be.

'Fine,' she snapped, then paused, took a deep breath. 'Very well,' she corrected, her voice calmer. 'I don't trust you, but I feel as though I should. We can start afresh. But I'm keeping my eye on you.'

He relaxed, feeling a weight lift from his shoulders. She still might be hesitant about him, but at least she was willing to give him a chance, and that was one step closer to making her fall in love with him.

He pushed away the thought of how much further he had to go.

Reaching out his hand over the table, he smiled at her warmly. 'Friends?'

She arched her eyebrow at him. 'You're pushing it already,' she warned him, but her lips twitched a little.

He raised his right back at her, smirking openly and keeping his arm outstretched. The Emma that he knew was as bad as he was, in that she could never back down from a challenge. Would she now react the same?

After a moment she placed her hand in his, her fingers wrapping around his and giving his hand a quick, short shake. 'Friends.'

He pushed down the idea of bringing her hand to his lips before it could truly form, knowing he shouldn't push his luck. Settling for a warm squeeze - gods, it felt good just to touch her, and screw the idea of kissing her hand, he wanted to pull her into his arms and just hold her, to feel her against him again - he reluctantly let her go and pulled his hand back, resting his arm on the table in front of him. 'What are you reading?' he asked, nodding to the pile of books in front of her.

'That's a quick change of subject.'

'I'm trying to get to know my new friend,' he said lightly, shrugging.

She hesitated for a moment before smoothing her hands over the open book in front of her. 'They're just stories,' she said awkwardly. 'I like to read. It helped me to distract myself when Regina held us prisoner.' She glanced back up at him. 'I assume Neal told you about that.'

'Aye, he did.' She offered him a small smile but he wasn't buying it. Leaning forward in his chair, he tilted his head toward the other books on the table. 'However, I wasn't asking about the book you were pretending to read, but rather the one that you tried to hide from us when we arrived.'

Sucking in her breath, Emma's eyes widened and she reached out to snatch the book from the pile but he was quicker, his hand closing over her wrist just tight enough not to hurt her. Using his hook, he knocked the top few books off the pile until he revealed the one that she'd been reading before they'd come. Grinning at her, he ignored - or tried to - the hot flush of her cheeks, whether it was in anger or embarrassment he was yet to find out. He kept his hand around her wrist and he was surprised that her free hand clutched at the table instead of trying to hit him. Again. Twisting the book around so he could read the title, his smile dropped into a frown of confusion as he read the words.

'Why wouldn't you want him to know that you're reading a history book?' he asked her, genuinely curious.

Sighing heavily, she relaxed herself in his grip. 'My son is restless,' she said, and he was about to point out that she was changing the subject but she continued quickly. 'He sees the strife that Regina and Rumpelstiltskin are causing and he's itching to be able to pull his weight, to share the burden that we ask of our people. It worries me so, that he wants to be at the forefront of the danger, but at the same time I am proud of him for I feel that same restlessness.' She smiled at him tightly. 'I gave up my right to rule and I don't regret it for a second, but I still feel my duty to my people to protect them, Killian.

'There is a lot of wisdom to be taken from history,' she said, gesturing at the book in front of him with her free hand. 'This kingdom has seen wars before, has dealt with villains just as dangerous as what we face now. I thought perhaps, that I could find an answer somewhere in these books, and since we're trying to convince Henry that just being seen to be in control is enough, I didn't want Henry to know that I... didn't necessarily agree with that.' He chuckled at that, and her smile stretched slightly before fading completely. 'It's been useless so far,' she said hopelessly. 'The only way to defeat magic seems to be by using magic, and we're already stretching the fairies to their limits as it is with defense. Aside from them, I don't think I could trust anybody else with it. Magic only begets darkness.'

Killian started, his shoulders tensing before his mind made sense of it. She didn't know she could wield magic. She'd used is so scarcely in Storybrooke that he hadn't even noticed the difference since he'd been here, and hadn't even thought to ask about it. It was no surprise that she believed most magic to be evil, since the majority of it that she would have experienced was from Regina and Rumpelstiltskin. He didn't blame her for that association.

Hopefully he could break the curse before she had a need to use her magic, or else he'd have to come up with a way to explain to her that she'd been able to do it all along, and it wouldn't darken her heart.

'We'll find a way to stop them,' he promised her.

'We?' she asked.

'Perhaps,' he said, leaning forward and winking at her. It was a risk, but his obnoxious flirting was part of what had won her over before, or so she'd reluctantly admitted one time. She could have pushed him away, could have told him that he needed to take the hint and stay away from her, but he hoped that her unhardened heart would see him as harmless.

She looked at him searchingly for a few seconds before she chuckled and he relaxed, grinning at her. 'Would you mind letting go of me, Captain?' she said dryly, looking pointedly at where he still grasped her wrist.

He held onto her a moment longer before withdrawing his hand, and when he did so she lifted her arm to her chest, rubbing her wrist gently with her other hand even though he knew he hadn't held her enough to cause her pain. It was only then that he noticed something else about her, something that made his breath catch in his throat.

She wasn't wearing the shoelace.

Last night her forearms had been hidden by the long gloves that she'd worn, and today they were covered by the long sleeves of her dress so he hadn't noticed before. But as her fingers caressed her wrist her sleeve was pushed out of the way and it was unadorned.

And why should she wear it? Graham had died in Storybrooke, and even if anyone still had a memory of the Huntsman now, Emma would have been married to Neal and had a son by the time Snow would have met him, so there would have been no room for him in her heart.

She'd told him a little of Graham, but a little had been all that she could manage. She hadn't had the chance to find out whether she loved the previous sheriff or not, but he'd been one of the first people who had fought for her in a long time and Killian understood how much that had meant to her. Graham deserved to be remembered.

This curse needed to be broken.

Emma was looking at him curiously, confused about his silence, but he was saved from having to find something to say when he spotted Neal and Tink walking toward them, a servant in tow. Emma followed his gaze and started slightly, but he was already tucking the history book underneath one of the fictitious volumes and received a secret smile of thanks before they both turned their attention to the others.

'Snow's finished holding court and has called a meeting of the council,' Neal said as they approached, and Emma stood immediately, smoothing her hands over her skirts as she did so. He grimaced at Killian in apology, apparently having already explained to Tink. 'You two are going to have to entertain yourselves for a while.'

Killian forced a laugh - despite his progress with Emma, the other revelations had left him with a bit to dwell on. 'I'm sure we can manage,' he said, lacing his voice with sarcasm for Neal's benefit.

The servant took his leave, his message delivered, but Killian's eyes were on Emma as she hesitated, with Neal waiting for her. She looked thoughtfully at Neal for a moment before turning to Tink. 'We will probably be kept past dinner, but you could join us for breakfast, if it pleases you. Both of you,' she added quickly, gesturing to Killian.

'Of course,' Killian responded, probably too quickly but he was past caring. He'd take any opportunity to see her, the more frequently the better if he was to have any chance of making her fall in love with him.

Emma and Neal said a quick goodbye and as soon as they disappeared down the main aisle of the library Killian slumped back into his seat, ignoring the quiet laughter as Tink took the chair that Emma had just vacated. 'Well?' she asked.

Rubbing his hand across his face to try and rid himself of some of the tension he was feeling, he then reached around to scratch the back of his head as he grinned at her ruefully. 'Well she didn't hit me this time,' he joked, and even though the effects of the curse were still really bothering him, Tink's bluntness eased his stress somewhat. 'Although, I don't think she'd quite ready for me to kiss her again just yet.'

'Progress is progress, Romeo,' Tink said cheerfully, shrugging her shoulders playfully.

She seemed in a rather good mood, he noticed. Stretching his shoulders, he leaned forward again. 'How much progress is progress of yours, darling?' he asked, waggling his eyebrows at her suggestively.

'Shut up,' she groaned, kicking his leg under the table, and the blush that rose to her cheeks was answer enough for him.

'I'm happy for you, Tink,' he told her, meaning every word.

'Yeah, well,' she said, shifting a little in her seat and dropping her eyes to the table. 'You know it's not really that easy, is it? Neal's married to Emma, or so everyone believes, but he knows how I feel.' A small smile played at her lips as she looked up at him again. 'But once everything's sorted we're going to give it a shot.'

'So I guess you'd rather I break this curse rather quickly, then?'

'Sure, why not?' she said dryly.

He shook his head, chuckling. 'In the meantime,' he said, pulling the history book from the pile in between them, 'we're going to try and find a non-magical way to defeat someone with magic.' Hopefully the curse would be broken before they'd need to find other ways to defeat Regina or Rumpelstiltskin, but his efforts would at least win him some regard from Emma. He leaned forward further, lowering his voice to a stage whisper. 'But you can't tell anyone, it's a secret.'

AN: Look at that, a mostly non-angsty chapter! Enjoy that while it lasts (or not, because I know a lot of you live for the angst).

Let me know what you think, I love all your feedback!