They spent the rest of the day talking, well Sam talked. Dean mostly listened. Dean didn't mind, he like knowing every bit of Sam's life. Sam talked until Jody and Henricksen came back and Jody decided to make dinner for all of them. Dean offered to help and she didn't turn him down. As they stepped into the kitchen Sam and Henricksen took seats in the living room.
"You plan to take Dean back to California with you right?" Henricksen asked.
"Yeah, I mean if he wants to go." Sam told him.
"He wants to," Henricksen said.
"And it's okay to take him right?" Sam questioned.
"It should be fine." Henricksen nodded. "As long as you guys don't go running off."
"We won't."
"Didn't think you would." Henricksen smiled. "Sam." He said with a serious tone setting in. "When you get back to California I think you need to get Dean some help."
"What? What kind of help?" Sam leaned in.
"Psychiatric help. Dean has been through hell, he needs someone to talk to." Henricksen explained. "I know he can talk to you, but that boy needs more then that. He probably needs some medication too."
"You're right. I know you're right. It just hurts to hear it." Sam sighed. "I know Dean needs more help than I can give him, but I don't want to put anymore pressure on him."
"You think getting him help would pressure him?"
"I- no, it's just...I know he's not broken. He knows he's not broken yet either. I don't want to send him to therapy and have him think that I'm doing it because I think he is broken."
"That's all you need to tell him," Henricksen said. "Dean is smart, he will understand what you are doing for him." Henricksen reached into his pocket and took out a card for Sam. "If you two ever need anything call me. Day or night."
"Thank you, Victor." Sam took the card and glanced over it. "Victor can I ask you something?"
"Sure," Henricksen sat back in his seat.
"When I watched the beginning of the video you seemed to have Dean pegged as guilty. It looked like there was nothing he could say that was gonna change your mind." Henricksen nodded in agreement. "What changed your mind, because now you act as though Dean is your family."
"I heard his story." Henricksen said simply. "It is not a story you turn away from and disregard as nothing. Dean's story is one that hurts to listen to. It's true that when I first met him I thought he was nothing more than a killer. That's all the evidence I had. But when Dean told me what had happened to him I realized that he was much more than I ever thought he would be. I chose his side because of the way he spoke of you. Sam, Dean convinced me he was a good person by convincing me that he was a good brother."
"Thank you," Sam said, the gratefulness was evident in his voice. "Thank you so much for getting to him. I am just so stupidly happy that it was you who found Dean first and not someone who wouldn't have given him a chance. So thank you Victor. You will never know my gratitude."
"You're welcome, Sam." Henricksen said and placed a hand on the younger Winchester's shoulder. "And you're right I do think of Dean as family. I don't have much of my own family, so I adopt people where I can find them. Hopefully you and Dean will be able to see me as a sort of family as well."
"Yeah, I think we will." Sam smiled at him. "We aren't much of a family now, so the more the merrier."
"Thank you Sam, that means a lot to me." Henricksen smiled and could feel his chest warm. "I'm sorry to drag down the moment but I need to talk to you about some formalities." Henricksen sighed.
"No, no it's fine." Sam nodded. "It's your job. What do you need?"
"Well after Dean's tape went viral we were all on a man hunt to try and find you. You were the proof we needed to validate Dean's story. I know I did an interview back at the station with you and
that will go on record, but the public need to know that Dean was telling the truth."
"You need me to make a statement." Sam understood.
"Only if you want to." Henricksen told him. "If you don't we can put someone else up there who can say what needs to be said. But I think it would be better for you and for Dean if you stood up there."
"What would I need to say?" Sam asked.
"I'll have our press liaison write something up for you. It won't be anything personal, and if you think it invades to much we can rewrite it." Henricksen explained. "Hopefully tomorrow we can get this done, then you and Dean would be able to leave."
"Okay," Sam agreed. "I'll do it. But let me confirm with Dean first. If he doesn't want me to then..."
"Then we will have someone speak for you." Henricksen finished for him. "Either way will be fine. Ask Dean about it tonight after dinner. Whatever he decides let me know. I'll come over with our liaison in the morning nonetheless."
"Okay." Sam said.
It seemed liked a solid plan. Sam liked having a plan and he knew Dean would too. He just wasn't sure if Dean would like Sam up in front of cameras telling the world that he was the Cross Country Killer's other son. Sam shivered a little at that thought. For then on that was how he would always be seen, as the Cross Country Killer's son. He wouldn't be just Sam, just like Dean would never be just Dean. At least Sam had gotten normalcy for a while, Dean was always stuck in the state of unknowing fear and ridicule of people he did not know. Sam pushed those thoughts away as they began to cloud his mind and make him fear more than he should.
"You guys ready for dinner?" Jody popped her head into the room.
"Yeah," Sam said getting up. Henricksen followed him. The table was set for five, although Dean and Bobby were not there.
"I sent Dean out to get Bobby," Jody explained before Sam could ask. "Have a seat, they should be here soon."
Sam sat down with Henricksen beside him. The next moment Dean and Bobby came in. Dean gave the room and shy smile and Bobby went to the sink to wash up. Dean sat next to Sam, and Sam grinned at his brother. Jody began to serve them, a helping of pork and Henricksen helped and spooned a vegetable dish onto plates as well.
"If I remember anything of your cooking Dean, this is gonna be delicious." Sam told him.
"Jody made most of it." Dean looked away as he spoke.
"But I was thankful for the help." She gave a smile to the young man who blushed and turned his head even more.
They tucked in with little talk. Henricksen and Jody spoke of the difference between the small police stations and the FBI headquarters. It was easy conversation. Sam joined in a few times as did Bobby, but Dean remained silent for the remainder of dinner. Sam kept trying to bring up subjects that Dean would want to talk about, but nothing seemed to break the man from his silence. Sam wanted to asked Jody if Dean had talked to her while they made dinner, however it did not seem appropriate with Dean right next to him.
A comfortable quiet settled over the table when the food had been finished and the plates cleared. Jody gazed over at her husband who rolled his eyes. Their silent communication made Sam smile. Henricksen caught it as well and huffed a small laugh. Dean's eyes shifted from one to another trying to work out the joke.
"Who wants to join me on the porch for a beer?" Bobby asked as stood up went to the fridge.
"I will." Henricksen nodded and accepted the beer Bobby handed him.
"Me too," Jody agreed.
The three of them made their way outside leaving the brothers together. Sam knew they had planned this and he was thankful for all their insight. Sam shifted in his seat and faced Dean.
"Hey, we need to talk about something," Sam began, then realized how awful that sounded. "It's nothing bad I promise." Dean narrowed his eyes before responding.
"Okay."
"Right. Henricksen was talking to me earlier and he thinks it would be a good idea if I make a statement to the press. Just to validate what you said in the video. If people know I'm real and alive they are more likely to believe your story."
Sam spoke but didn't watch Dean as he did so. If he had been paying closer attention he would have notice his brother's breathing quicken and his eyes dart around the room, looking for an exit.
"Henricksen said that he's gonna have someone drop by tomorrow morning and help us out with what we want to say. I think it's a good idea. What do you think?" Sam finally took in his brother's appearance and felt his blood run cold. "Dean?"
"No." Dean forced out.
"What?" Sam shook his head in confusion. "Dean are you alright? Was it something I said?"
"No!" Dean shouted. That got the attention of the others outside. Soon the mostly empty kitchen was full again.
"What's going on?" Bobby prompted then caught sight of Dean, who was almost hyperventilating. The older man quickly knelt down to the floor and tried to catch Dean's eye. "Son? Dean you need to calm down."
"What happened?" Henricksen asked.
"I- I don't know," Sam said. "I was telling him how I thought it would be a good idea to make a statement-"
"No!" Dean shouted again.
"You...you don't want to make a statement?" Henricksen tried to understand.
Dean took a deep breath. He gave a weak smile to Bobby who accepted it. Bobby stood back up but stayed close to Dean. Dean swallowed hard before trying to speak.
"You can't see the press." Dean started. Sam made to speak but Henricksen stopped him with a hand. "You can't let anyone else see you Sam."
"I thought we had found out all your secrets Dean," Henricksen said. "Who are you still hiding from? If you don't tell me then I can't help you."
"There is nothing you can do." Dean whispered. "Sam has got to stay Sam Campbell, I have to protect him. It's my job."
"Let us lighten the load son," Bobby told him.
"Dean," Henricksen took a seat in front of him. "Look, Sam doesn't need to make a statement to the press. I just thought it would be a good idea. We can have someone else do it. Thats not a big issue. What is pressing is that you did not tell us everything. What are you still hiding? And what can we do to help."
Dean had a hard time starting. He swallowed thickly and his hands shook in his lap. Everyone stared at him and he fought the urge to throw up. Jody took a seat and Bobby left Dean side for his own chair. Dean opened and closed his mouth a few times before finally being able to speak.
"My dad- John, he didn't always work alone."
"No, Dean," Sam whispered. "No, please." Sam's eyes were wet with preparation of what he believed Dean was about to say.
"You helped him." Henricksen stated. The FBI agent's blood ran cold at the thought.
"No, No!" Dean said quickly. "No I never...I never hurt anyone. Never. Not me. John...John worked with someone else."
"Did you ever meet them?" Sam asked.
"Yes." Dean nodded.
"Dean why didn't you tell me this before," Henricksen asked.
"I never thought I was going to see Sam again." Dean said honestly. "I wish I could go back and had never told you anything to begin with." He mumbled.
"Then you would have gone to prison." Henricksen told him.
"In the end that might have been better." Dean said softly to himself. The others caught it regardless.
"Tell us what is going on Dean." Henricksen demanded.
"His name is Gordon Walker." Dean said solemnly. "He and my- John, worked together, killed together."
.Red Lodge, Montana 1997.
They came in the night, as most bad things do. Dean had gotten Sam to go to sleep around ten thirty and now he waited up for their father. It was nearing midnight, John had told him that he would be back that night, so Dean refused to sleep just in case. They were squatting in a house that was up for sale. It was one of the nicest places Dean had ever stayed. Dean especially liked it because they had separate rooms. Where at the usual motels they stayed at they had all shared one tiny room. Dean hated the feeling of being trapped in a room with his father.
Inside the room he shared with Sam he heard the front door open. He stopped breathing and listened. Most days Dean could tell if his father was drunk by the way he walked. And on the days he was Dean would get as far away from Sam. That way John would stay away as well. There were no sloppy footwork this time, but there were two pairs of footsteps. Dean froze. It was not uncommon for his father to bring people home. Most of the time they were hookers and after an hour they were gone. Other times John would bring back someone to kill. It wasn't often that that happened, but when it did Dean curled up around his brother and covered his ears while he slept.
In the other room Dean could hear his father talking to the other person in mumbled voices. Dean tried to make out what they were saying. What caught Dean most off guard was that the other voice was male. His father had killed very few men, and he had never brought back a man to kill.
"Dean!"
Dean nearly jumped out of his skin when his father called him. He had never been called when there was another person in his father's presence. But he did not dare to disobey. Slowly he opened the door and shut it silently behind him. He tread into the next room quickly and quietly. He edged around the corner, unsure weather or not to make a sound. His father came into view as did the other man. Dean had never seen this man before. He seemed to be about the same age as his father, maybe slightly older. He was smiling, but it was not a smile Dean ever wanted to receive. When the other man caught sight of Dean he frowned and stared at him. Dean faltered in his step.
"Boy," John's voice broke Dean's thoughts. "Get us some beers and food." He pointed to the kitchen, never looking at his son.
Dean nodded and hastily made his way into the kitchen. He wanted away from those dark and hate filled eyes. Dean opened the fridge and pulled out two beers. He set them on the counter and set out to heat up the dinner he and Sam had eaten hours ago. Dean always made plenty more then the two boys needed, just for the occasions when John would come home and demand food. Dean scooped a helping of Sheppard's pie onto each plate and pushed them into the microwave. As he waited for the food he listened carefully to the conversation outside. The men's voices were soft and almost excited.
"Thursday they will have gone away. Their vacation is for two weeks, no one will know." Dean heard the other man say.
"It's all very methodical," John said. "How long have you been playing this game?"
Dean turned away. He didn't want to listen anymore, he knew what they were talking about. The game, as his father was calling it, was murder.
Dean opened the microwave before it could beep and took the warmed plates into the other room. He set them down in front of the two men without a word. He quickly left only to go back with the beers. Dean returned to the kitchen once more to make sure there was nothing left out of place. He cleaned up a little splatter in the the microwave then hurried back to his and Sam's room. He made sure that Sam was still asleep then slid down the door and stayed there. He pressed his ear to the slit in the door way, and despite his mind telling him not to listen in, he had to. He had to know what they were going to do, even if it hurt to do so.
"Tell me about your first." The other man said.
"Really Gordon?" John laughed. "We're going to compare?"
"There's nothing to compare." The other man, Gordon, laughed. "Just wanna know how you got started, there's always a story behind each killer."
"First was my wife." John said and Dean held in a gasp. He had always figured that his father had killed his mother, but it shook him to the core to hear it aloud from the killers mouth.
"Now how did you get away with that one?" Gordon sounded almost impressed. "Wives are the hardest to kill and get away with."
"Dumb luck." John chuckled. "I broke her neck, and in the process knocked over a candle and set the house on fire. She didn't make it out."
"Killed your wife, but kept your boys? Why's that?" Gordon asked. That was a question Dean desperately wanted to know the answer to. Why hadn't he left them there to burn up in the flames with their mother? Why drag them along to destroy their lives anyways?
"They are the best cover I got." John said. "Not many people suspect a single father of two to be a killer. Not when he has his boys to take care of. It worked better when they were younger. Sam is still young enough to get by with, but Dean is getting to old."
"What are you gonna do about him?"
"I have a plan," John said and Dean could hear the malice in his voice.
"And for the younger one? Do you have a plan for him?"
"Not yet. I may just kill them in the end." John mused.
"Yes." Gordon drew out the word. "Family does have the nasty habit of getting in the way of the game. I had to kill my sister when she figured out what I was. She wanted to go to the police, and well...I tried to convince her otherwise."
"Humm, Dean knows." John said and Dean swore his heart stopped. "He saw the blood on me one night. I threatened him with killing Sam and he let it go. That boy's not to bright."
"That's for sure." Gordon laughed, but Dean could tell it was fake.
After that Dean crawled over to the bed and leaned against it. He watched the door in silence. He didn't want to hear them talk about him or Sam anymore. It was more sickening than listening to them talk about murder.
He didn't sleep that night. He stayed up and watched the light under the door. Every time a shadow passed Dean would stiffen and brace himself. No one ever came in, but it did not stop his heart from pounding at any little sound. Gordon did not leave. When morning came Dean cautiously ventured out of his room. The days when his father was home in the morning meant he had to prepared breakfast for him. Dean crept into the kitchen but snuck a look into the living room. There on the couch he saw Gordon. The man was sprawled out and snoring. Dean bit his lip and stepped even more gingerly into the next room. As quickly and quietly as he could he made breakfast. John always wanted the same thing; steak and eggs. Dean made two plates. One for his father and one for the other man just incase.
As he was plating the food he heard Gordon wake in the other room. Dean stilled and listened. The floor creaked and Dean panicked slightly as the sound of footsteps reached the kitchen. Gordon appeared in the doorway wiping sleep from his eyes. He looked Dean up and down before walking in and plopping himself down at the kitchen table. Dean hesitated only for a moment before he lay a plate in front of the man. Gordon just stared at him. Dean gulped and looked at the floor. The man's eyes were much too dark to meet.
"Your daddy says you know what he is." Gordon spoke and Dean froze. "That true?" Dean nodded, his eyes fixed on the ground. "Your daddy also says you ain't to bright, but I'm thinking he's wrong." Dean refused to make a movement. "Now see here boy, I am very smart. Much smarter than your father will ever dream to be. And if you got enough wit about you, you'll take this to heart. I know you know what I am. No doubts that you were listening in on us last night, and I take it that you know what kind of game I like to play. So here's a new game. You're trying to protect your brother from your father right?" Gordon gave no time for Dean to answer. "The new game is to see how long you can hide him from me."
The smile on his face was feral and wide. Dean's blood ran cold.
"See John just likes to kill, he doesn't appreciate the beauty in it." Gordon's voice was low as he spoke. Dean was frozen in the spot. His heart clenched tightly as he listened to Gordon. "He likes the thrill it gives him. It gets him high, but it doesn't get him off. You see he's not playing the game right. It's more fun when they know what is gonna happen. Watching the terror on their faces...well it's better than sex."
Dean wanted to throw up. He could feel his hands shaking. His eyes flicked over to the room where Sam was sleeping. Gordon watched the young man before him, taking in his fear. The man smiled at Dean's trembling hands. Gordon reached out and grabbed Dean's shoulder. Dean flinched violently. He hated the way that man's hand felt on him. The man's fingernails dug into Dean's skin. Dean tried not to pull away. Gordon licked his lips, he could almost taste the fear radiating off the younger man.
"Now remember Dean," Gordon smiled. "The game only works if we all play our parts. I know we both want to win, so let me tell you how you can. Hide. The longer you can hide from me the longer you and your brother can live. Do you understand the rules?"
Dean nodded and pulled gently away from the man. Gordon's eyes narrowed and pulled Dean back towards him. Dean felt sick again and when Gordon pressed his mouth next to his ear he thought he would vomit then and there. "The game starts now Dean. How long do you think you're gonna last."
With that Gordon cast him aside as John came into the kitchen. John shot Dean a look and sat down at the table. With trembling hands Dean placed his fathers breakfast before him and as fast as he could escaped the men. Dean was finally able to breathe once he was in his room, with Sam in sight. Silently he began to dig through his duffle bag. There he pulled out Sam's life. The folder that held everything he would need to make Sam disappear. Dean hadn't known it but he had already been playing Gordon's game. All he had to do was continue to play it right. It was not a game he could lose.
.Monument, Colorado 2005.
Sam practically ran out of the house. His mind was spinning and he could feel the dinner he had just eaten making it's way back up. He made it out to a car before he fell to his knees and emptied his stomach. He wiped his mouth and sat against the car.
That was his brother's life. That was Dean's entire childhood in one story. Sam knew then more than ever that he never wanted to see that tape.
Growing up Sam had never feared for his life, Dean always had. Dean was the only reason that Sam was still alive, Dean was the only one keeping him alive. He felt selfish as he sat outside. He should be there with his brother and comforting him, but all Sam wanted was someone to comfort him. He knew it wasn't right but he couldn't help but want it. He took a few calming breaths before lifting himself up and making his way back inside.
Henricksen and Jody were both on the phone demanding and yelling at the people on the other end. Dean and Bobby were no longer in the kitchen. When Sam reappeared Jody pointed to the other room. Sam went slowly making sure he wasn't disturbing anything. He peered around the corner to see Bobby and Dean sitting on the couch next to each other. They weren't speaking, just sitting together. Sam swallowed his courage and entered the room. Dean and Bobby looked up. Sam crouched in front of Dean and placed a hand on his knee.
"Dean," Sam began. "I'm sorry for running off like that." Sam tried to catch his eyes, but Dean refused to meet his. "I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry. I didn't know what to expect, and it was just too much. And I know that hearing about it is nothing compared to actually living it, but I just need you to know that I love you so much Dean. We're gonna get through this, together, I promise."
Dean didn't look at his brother but he did take his hand and gently squeeze it.
"This is why I never wanted to see you again." Dean deadpanned.
Sam could swear his heart stopped at those words.
"I knew he was out there. Just like dad, I had to protect you Sammy. And I hoped that you would stay gone, but I already lost."
"You didn't lose Dean." Sam told him. "I'm still here."
"But he knows who you are now." Dean finally met his eyes. "Once my confession got out I knew I lost the game."
"Dean it's not over." Sam stood up never relinquishing his hold on Dean's hand. "If you wanna think of this as a game then fine. But know you have more players on your side then before. We are going to protect you this time. This time you will not be alone. You never have to be alone again."
"Thanks Sammy." Dean gave Sam a weak smile.
Henricksen came into the room with a frown set on his face.
"I have an APB out on Gordon Walker." He told them. "His name is on file and there is a record, so chances of finding him are pretty good."
"What will you do if you find him?" Sam asked.
"He'll be arrested and then be tried for murder." Henricksen said. "You boys alright."
"Yeah," Sam breathed. "Yeah, I think we will be."
Sam's grip on Dean's hand tightened. His brother returned it, just as strong.