Waking Up

"Lovell!" I could hear it, really far away, like every sound had to work its way through a haze. I opened my eyes and everything was really blurry, but then it came into focus. I was in one of those hospital bed thingies, with white cotton sheets covering my body and when I moved, I felt only my T-shirt and undies on my body. I looked around and saw Matty, Josh, Rachel, Cory, and Brown Eyes all around my bed with Matty and Cory crying, leaving a wet patch of cloth. Rachel was turned away and I could see she was wiping away relentless tears as she talked to a nurse while Brown Eyes talked to another one. Josh was leaning on the bed, his arms in a prayer position, only his hands were holding his head. I still felt woozy, but a whole lot better then when I'd started blacking out. Really thirsty though.

"Can I have some water?" I asked, my voice sounding a little raspy, but otherwise fine. Everyone's head snapped up, all staring at me.

"LOVELL!" They all said, united, as they leaned over the rails of the bed, wrapping their arms around me and squishing me close, and I laughed, but it stopped when I saw Daren behind them, sitting in the chair, eyes black and hardened, staring straight ahead, his jaw clenched tight. The nurse shoed them away and stared wide eyed at me, then flicked the monitor nearby, which I hadn't realized, had one long straight line across the screen.

Dead. I'm dead. I thought, my eyes staring at the screen as the nurse flicked the monitor and instantly, the natural pattern of beep-beep! took its place. I sighed and sunk back into the pillows. The equipment had just failed, I wasn't dead. I breathed in and out, liking that my chest raised and fell, normal and alive. Daren stared at the monitor, and so did everyone else.

"Oh, Lovell! We thought you were dead! Like in the movies when the monitor thing just goes beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep." Cory said, tears pouring out of his eyes.

"Hmph, this old stuff needs to be replaced." The nurse mumbled, and nobody seemed to notice except me. She walked out of the room with a clipboard in hand.

"So, you told me you were okay." Brown Eyes said, eyes boring into mine.

"I thought I was." I said, and replayed those moments where my body started to feel crappy, then when I blacked out. "So, can I have some water?"

"I'll get it." Josh said, getting up and walking out of the room. I watched him go, normal as ever, glad I didn't die, and still awkward. I let my head fall back on the pillows. If I was dead, it was a pretty bad experience. I mean, there was sposed to be that white light and stuff, but me? Poof. Not that I even died, but, whatever.

I looked at Matty and she was still crying. "Matty? You okay?" She looked up and laughed, but it was pained.

"Am I okay? Lovell, you're the one who was in a coma for the past two days. Are you okay?" She said, smiling weakly. "But I guess I'm not. Its just that…I didn't think you deserved to die after… everything." She said, looking down at her shoes for the last part.

I looked back at her, watching as she looked down at her shoes regretfully, tears still flowing but not as much as before. She looked so vulnerable and broken, but it was my weight to carry, not hers just because I told her my problems.

"Matty…I'm not dead, right? So stop looking so damn sad." I said, and looked her straight in the eye, my gaze unwavering. Her eyes were wide and open, her mouth open as if she wanted to protest, but I held her gaze, wanting her to get it. These things weren't her problems. They were mine alone and if I wanted pity, I'd make it known. I was probably going to change a lot after the whole Vampire mojo stuff, but then I'd just let go. Matty…Matty didn't deserve a suckish friend like me.

She closed her mouth and her eyes became determined, and she looked at me with a stronger gaze as tears still flowed steadily down her cheeks.

"You got it." She said, so I let my line of sight drift away from her, and I saw that everyone else was starting to wipe up their tears and stop sulking. I closed my eyes and seeped deeper into the bedding of the hospital gurney.

Why did I have to black out here, after I told Matty…?

"By the way, my name's Koda." Brown Eyes said, making me open my eyelids and look at him again.

"Yeah?" I responded, then paused before saying, "Thanks for chasing me, so I didn't black out in the middle of nowhere with no one around…" I trailed off, thinking about what could've happened.

He looked at me curiously and then just shook whatever it was off. "It's alright, I guess. I mean, your okay and everything…" He said, and gave me that same stumped look again, and I felt like I was being analyzed, like it was some sort of test. Then he looked away and relaxed more into his chair.

She looks li…grann…book shop… I stopped looking at him and turned away, just kind of knowing that those were his thoughts. Insane, insane, insane, insane, very, very insane. Was I going insane or was I already insane, just having a hallucination in a psycho house? Did the people around me exist, or was I seriously messed up? Did my parents even die?!

"Hellooooo?" Matty waved her hand in front of my face, her eyes big and wide, in a curious and questioning type of way. "Mizzz Lovell, you need some coffee or something. I was saying that the nurse told us earlier if you woke up, you could go home today." She closed her eyes and tilted her head, a soothing smile on her face as her hair fell with gravity off her shoulders.

"Am I sane?" I asked, looking at her plainly as she opened her eyes and put a finger on her lip and her mouth made a perfect little "o."

"I don't know, I mean I'm not your psychiatrist. But you seem okay to me, besides your day dreams, which I imagine is normal for a person who just came out of a coma." She smiled a big grin, and resigned back to her chair instead of leaning over my bed. "Going home would make you feel better."

"It would make all of us feel better, really, to be home instead of here in the cold." Cory piped up. "And I bet they haven't told Jason yet," he leaned closer and continued, in a lower tone. "If we hurry up and get out of here, they won't contact him in time."

I was already up and walking.