I'm sorry it took me so long to post another chapter, but recently I've had other things on my mind than writing or wrestling. I'm still sort of lacking motivation, but I want to finish the story and I'll do my best to regularly post new chapters, although they'll be most probably shorter.

"Hey, Ren, is that dinner still on?"

"If you're interested," she shouted back on her way out of the building.

"How about tomorrow?" suggested Dean, unaware that he was decreasing the distance between them. It wasn't that somebody was nearby to hear them, nor were they concerned about people finding out about their plans in general, simply his legs led him closer to her. There was something inviting in her attitude, that posture, body turned toward him even though the door that she was about to pass was the other way, smile on her face, friendliness in her eyes. . . .

"How about now?"

Dean, at first shocked, looked down and his mind focused on how probable it was that he could leave right away. There was a bag in his hand, he was fully dressed, there wasn't anybody waiting for him inside or outside the building, and he didn't have any specific plans for the rest of the night.

"Sure," he replied, and smiled. "Where do you wanna go?"

"Someplace random," she said, to what Dean chuckled.

"Random like the shittiest place you can find or luxurious restaurant with swan-shaped napkins and candles on the table?"

"If by that you mean romantic, then no. This is not a date, Dean," Renee said in a lighthearted way.

Dean easily accepted that fact. "I never said it was."

"I know; I just wanted to make sure we both know where we're at."

"I don't know that. I have no idea what we are, to be honest," said Dean. Waiting for her response, an explanation perhaps, he chivalrously opened the door for her and let her get out before him. He followed her outside, with eyes still set on her.

Renee turned around, and the wind blew her hair straight into Dean's face. She quickly pacified it with her hand, guarding disobedient strands behind her ear. Then she looked up into his eyes, opened her mouth to say something, but a sigh forced itself out. After a moment of looking away, she faced him again.

"This is two friends hanging out, having a dinner."

"Two friends having a dinner . . ." repeated Dean. It seemed a bit odd to him. As a spontaneous reaction, he laughed.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Come on, what is it? Just because we dated we can't be friends?"

"No, we can. I'm glad we are. It's just that . . ." He couldn't make that smile on his lips disappear.

Renee knew what was on his mind. "One slip-up doesn't mean anything."

"I know."

"Not even two."

Dean kept smiling, happy about the past as well as the present.

Renee continued, reminding him, "I'm still in a relationship."

"And that's one thing I don't understand. . . . How can you sleep with me and be with that guy?" This wasn't an accusation, just failure to comprehend Renee's strategy, if she had one.

"I told him, we broke up, a little bit later we got back together."

"Is it serious?"

That question slightly concerned Renee. "Why are you asking?"

"Just curious." As Renee's mouth opened to speak, Dean interrupted, having a good idea of what she wanted to ask. "I'm not jealous. We broke up, and we both know we're not getting back together . . . at least for the time being," he added in a quieter voice that however wasn't unapproachable to Renee's ear. "You can be with whoever you want, I accept that."

"I know what worries you," said Renee. They continued standing on the sidewalk. This conversation needed conclusion before they would get in a cab. "You fear that if this relationship gets serious, our ever getting back together will be out of discussion."

Dean chose not to address that charge, but instead ask another, this time more direct, question. "You love him?"

Renee smiled, probably amused by Dean's courage, and gave Dean a piece of advice. "Don't ask if you're not ready for the answer."

"I am ready. Look," Dean touched her arm but instantaneously pulled his hand away, "It's been long enough, and those feelings I had for you . . ."

"They're gone?" asked Renee.

"I've suppressed them. I got this under control, Renee. I just wanna know the truth."

Renee took a minute to observe whether she should trust Dean's words, whether he was really ready to face reality. She sighed, and then she said, "I haven't told him I love him but . . ."

"You do?"

"I don't know. He's a nice guy, I like him a lot but . . ." She paused again. "I'm not sure I've gotten over you yet. For now we're just dating, it's kinda serious but we don't plan on starting living together or moving onto a next step."

"He knows about me," Dean thought out loud.

"Yeah," Renee confirmed.

"And he's okay with us hanging out?"

That avoidance to cross his look made him assured of the truth. The truth that Renee was doing this thing behind her boyfriend's back. Of course that guy wouldn't be okay with his girlfriend and her ex hanging out, given the distant but even more the recent history.

"Do you see the hypocrisy?"

"What hypocrisy?"

"How it wasn't alright for me to hang out with my ex, and now you're doing the same thing. Except that I dated Cassie for only a couple of weeks, never slept with her after it ended, and I never had real feelings for her."

Renee looked away but Dean noticed the smile regardless. "I'm not in a position to choose between you and him. This is the only way, trust me." Now she showed him her face, which was lacking disdain or any evidence that she felt bad for what she was doing. "By the way, how is she?"

"You think I'm still in touch with her?" Dean's arm rose high to get the attention of the cab approaching. Renee reached for it to put it down.

"Why don't we walk?" For a brief moment when their skin was in contact, when Renee's hand lost direction nearby his, Dean laced their fingers. Then they recreated the distance between their bodies and moved away from the spot in front of the building where they spent the previous couple of hours.

"So?" Dean tried to restart their conversation. "You think I have any info about her?"

"We both know that you keep in touch with her."

"I'm . . ." Dean started his denial.

"It's okay. I'm fine with it. And I'm not saying it just because I have no right to tell you what to do."

A sigh escaped Dean's mouth. "We chat or call each other sometimes. But I haven't seen her in ages. And I certainly haven't tried to resume any romantic relationship between us."

"Alright."

Dean felt he needed to say more. "She's living in Denver so . . . And she's seeing someone, anyway."

"Cool." After a slightly awkward pause, Renee asked, "Are you?"

"You know that I'm not. . . . It'd be hypocritical of me to break up with you to focus on my career and then start dating someone else."

"I guess."

"Besides, I don't want to antagonize you. I still hope that one day we'll get back together."

"That's a bit dreamy, isn't it?" Renee chuckled.

Dean shrugged his shoulders and smiled. "I'm working on it. So far so good. We're friends, and I'm certainly not afraid that your old-new guy will take you away from me."

"Where do you get that assurance?"

"For one thing, you keep secrets from him. Also, you like me so much more."

Renee covertly smiled. "You're so arrogantly confident."

"And you love it, darling."

That blushing was hard to hide, but irritated expression helped to create an illusion that she was not okay with Dean's using words of endearment. "Don't call me that," she objected. "We're not together."

"I called you that even before –"

She cut him off, "I don't care."

"Ok, baby." It was clear that now Dean was saying it purposefully to annoy Renee.

"Stop it."

Dean grinned, but ultimately said, "Alright."

"I feel that we should set some boundaries."

Dean had to chuckle when he remembered the things that had already happened between them after the break-up. "It's never too late. . . ." he said in a voice suggesting lack of seriousness.

"We're coworkers and friends . . . nothing more," stressed Renee, "and we should keep it that way. Let's respect that, okay? Both of us."

"That's what I'm doing."

"Respect that I'm in a relationship, please. It's not appropriate that you take me for someone who belongs to you."

Dean opposed, this time without adding any humor, "I never did that."

"But the way you treat me –"

Dean interrupted her, "I'm sorry. I was just joking." His tone was serious.

The smile suggested that Renee wasn't really mad; she was just doing what she said she would: setting limits to their current relationship.

"You see this as some . . . I don't know," Renee said, and took a brief pause to think it through, "transition period. You take it for granted that we'll end up together." She looked him dead in the eye. "Why? Where do you get that confidence?" she wanted to know.

Dean laughed. "Is that how you see me? A confident guy assured that the girl he once let go will come crawling back to him? Nobody's less assured of our future than me, Renee. I know I probably screwed up my chance to be with you. I exchanged that happy life for uncertainty, fear of what if . . ." Dean sighed. "What if I never get to be with you again? What if this relationship you're having now becomes serious? What if one day when I'm ready I ask you to take me back, I ask you if you still love me, and you say no?" Dean bit his lip, looked away, but in an instance his eyes were looking at her again. "That confidence you see, dar– . . . sorry," he realized the mistake, "is a lie. A mask that helps me hide the painful reality." He waited for a response, but started talking again before Renee could say anything. "And now you either think what an asshole, it was his decision that started it so he deserves every bit of that suffering, or you pity me. I don't want that. I know it's all on me, it's my fault, and I do deserve it. If my greatest fears come true, I'll be the one who has to deal with it. Even if you end up with someone else, if you choose you don't want to be with me ever again, I don't want you to feel bad because of it –"

"Stop," Renee spoke quietly, placing her hand around his wrist but the fingers stretched toward his palm until finally their hands met and embraced each other. "Nothing's final. There's a pretty good chance that I'll be single again soon."

"Is that where it's leading? Break-up?"

"I don't know."

"Or are you saying it just to make me feel better? Because if you are, then don't."

"Could we just stop talking about it?" Renee was clearly fed up with those kinds of talks, tired of her own consciousness waking her up and bringing the feeling of guilt, all because of somebody bringing up the past.

Dean finally noticed the irritation he caused. The painful expression in her face shut his mouth now. "I'm sorry," he quietly uttered.

Renee smiled through the beaten-up appearance. She stroked Dean's shoulder and allowed her arm to stay near his, wrapping around it. She even leaned toward him, and Dean used this opportunity to draw her even closer for a hug. "I'm sorry," he whispered again, and gave a kiss on the top of her head. "Let's go get something to eat."

Renee looked up with hope in her eyes. "Yeah."

"I promise you no more talking about the past or future. Just here and now, there's nothing more. Two friends hanging out."

Dean's arm remained hanging over Renee's shoulder, but none of them minded.

Renee felt her phone vibrating in her purse so she took it out.

"Who is it?" Dean asked out of curiosity.

Renee just casually shook her head and picked it up. "Hey. Yeah." Dean kept listening but he had no chance figuring out who she was talking to or what the conversation was about. The only important implication for him was Renee's distancing herself from him. She wouldn't allow any part of their bodies to touch anymore. "No, gonna go grab something first." She looked at Dean, and then said, "With Dean. Yeah, that Dean." Renee appeared nervous and Dean started to understand what was happening. Renee bit her lip before saying "No, just the two of us. Is that alright?" Waiting for the approval, she was staring into Dean's eyes, reading the hurt in them. Suddenly she smiled. "Yes, you can. I appreciate that. Thank you, baby." Her smile was growing wider. She was nodding. "Um-huh. How was the training? Really? That'd be great. I won't be long." There went Dean's enthusiasm. And it was only going to get worse. "How? Well, I guess that doesn't matter. Of course I'm happy. Yeah, sure. Be there. See you soon."

"Let me guess. That was your boyfriend, and he's not happy with us hanging out." A nod from her sufficed. But Dean had to ask, "Why did you tell him?"

"I gotta be honest, right?" It was clear to Dean that break-up was in no way on Renee's mind. She cared about that guy. Dean wasn't sure whether she loved him or not, but he understood that he was no longer her priority.

"There's one more thing," Renee said.

"You're gonna leave now," Dean took a shot at that guess, too.

Renee looked down, feeling bad for the reality, her unfairness toward Dean. "I'm sorry. Something came up," she explained. "Maybe we can do this another time."

"Yeah, sure. No problem." Dean said, smiling but disappointment all over him gave him away.

"Okay."

"Go be with him. I'm alright," he said when she stood there and watched him.

"How about tomorrow?"

Dean looked away, then back at her, wishing nothing else than to disappear. "See you later, Renee." He stroked her arm, kissed her softly on the cheek and turned around, knowing he wasn't over her. Still unsure whether he wanted to get over her, but starting to realize that maybe he should.