Chapter 10: Dressed for Celebration

When my eyes flutter open, I get up and throw on whatever clothes I find first. I plan on leaving early and picking up some clothes from one of the shops in the Pit before the visiting day festivities. I'm out of the dormitory as everyone else starts to stir.

The clothing store has only been open for a few minutes when I walk in. I'm greeted by a girl with a cotton candy pink pixie cut. "What are you looking for?" She asks, bubbly.

I hadn't really thought about that. Again. "Something for visiting day," I reply. "If my mom comes, I want her to see that I'm doing well, but if she doesn't, I want to look good even if I feel like shit."

She nods with a grin. "I do that every time a guy breaks up with me. Let's see what we can find." I trail around the store after her as she grabs several black garments. "Try these on." She thrusts them into my arms and pushes me toward the dressing rooms.

Fifteen minutes later, I walk out of the store in a two-credit draped dress and a pair of thick-heeled ankle booties. A sense of dread settles in my stomach, realizing that it's entirely possible that my mom either won't be allowed to come, or just won't come of her own accord. She left this place for a reason. What if I'm not worth the grief of returning? She always said that she would respect whatever decision I made, but what if I made the wrong one? What if she's disappointed in me?

Panic swells in my chest. Tears prickle at my eyes and a lump grows in my throat.

No. I need to calm down. I'm not acting Dauntless. Act Dauntless. Dauntless wouldn't care if their family didn't approve of their decision. I take a deep breath, set my jaw, and put on my best Dauntless face. If I'm not brave enough now, I'll fake it until I am.

With a newfound confidence, I stride out into the Pit, searching every face milling around.

Molly and Drew stand off to the end of the room, alone. If mom didn't come, at least I'll have company. Peter stands with a tall man and a red-haired woman. His parents, I assume, though he looks like neither of them.

Christina speaks, gestating wildly to her parents and younger sister. Will talks in low tones to a woman I assume is his sister.

Tris is by the chasm, hugging her mother. Natalie Prior is a face I know. She's the one who runs the volunteer agency that helps us—the factionless, that is. I keep scanning the faces, the clothing. But there's nothing. No sign of her. None of my mom's mixed clothing, Amity and Abnegation handouts. After several minutes, I come to terms with it. She didn't come.

Tears fill my eyes again.

Tris and her mother are called over by Christina and Will. They don't notice that I'm here.

The tears threaten to fall. I put my head down and start the way out of the Pit. I don't make it seven steps before a hand is on my shoulder. It's a short, wide woman. "Excuse me," the woman says. "The girl over there said that you know our son, Albert." I notice that behind her stands a tall man, built like a freight train.

Albert. Al. These are Al's parents. I nod, trying to blink back tears. "Yeah, I know Al. is he not down here yet?" My voice quakes pathetically.

"I'm afraid not," she replies, looking a little sad.

"I'll see if I can find him for you," I say, desperate to leave this place.

"Thank you so much," she says with a grin. I try to grin back before I go to find him, but fail.

"No problem." I start my quest to find my best friend. I start up in the room above the glass ceiling, where people can be found doing reckless things for entertainment. He's not there.

He's not in the cafeteria. He's not in any of the shops. Finally, I decide to check the dormitory. Lo and behold, there he is, sitting on my bed—the one he and I have been sharing—staring at the wall where the chalkboard used to be.

"Your parents asked me to come find you," I say. He doesn't acknowledge my words. "Don't you want to see them?"

He shakes his head.

I sit down next to him. "I'm sure they're proud of you." Unlike my mom, I add mentally.

"I know they're proud of me!" He shouts. "That's the whole reason I came here!"

I'm taken aback. "What?"

"They love Dauntless. They always have," he bequeaths. "They love how they 'protect the city.' I just wanted to make them proud." His voice breaks. "I came here even after my test told me Candor because I didn't want them to be disappointed in me."

I wrap my arms around his barreled chest and he leans into the embrace, twisting to wrap his arms around me. His shoulders start to shake as he buries his face in my neck. He needs me here. He needs me. He needs me to be strong. He needs me to be moral support right now, but I'm not completely sure I can do it. At least his parents came. They still show that they love him. They care.

I pet his head. "You should go see them," I whisper to him.

He shakes his head. "They'll find out how bad I'm doing. I can't lie to them. I'll have to tell them that I might be factionless after tomorrow."

"You're doing just fine, Al," I assure him.

"I only won one fight, DJ. I wouldn't be surprised if I'm last place."

I tut. "You're not—"

"I never even hit the target with the knives, and I'm mediocre at best with guns. Face it, I'm not going to make it."

I sigh. As much as I hate to admit it, he has a point. "So what? Maybe you won't be here after tomorrow. But is that today?" He looks up at me, confused. "If today is your last day with us, make the most out of it. Don't sulk in bed all day. There's no point in sitting here wallowing in self-pity over something that might not even happen. Go see your parents. They'll still be proud."

"I guess you're right," he sighs, standing up. "Why aren't you down there?" He asks, finally realizing that I'm also not in the Pit.

I look down. "Mom didn't come," I mumble quietly. "Nobody's down there for me."

"I'm sorry," he says. "You deserve someone down there more than any of the rest of us."

I shrug. "Go see your parents."

He nods. "Okay." I watch as he strides out of the dormitory. Just as he reaches the door, he turns back around. "You look good, by the way." I grin, and he flashes me a smile before heading out.

Then I'm alone, and he's not the one sitting in the dormitory wallowing in self-pity. I am.

Our normal table was gathered, speculating about rankings and going off onto tangents about the future and the past.

"You weren't allowed to have pets?" Christina asks Will incredulously, smacking the table. "Why not?"

"Because they're illogical," Will replies simply, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. "What is the point in providing food and shelter for an animal that just soils your furniture, makes your home smell bad, and ultimately dies?"

I shake my head at the two as Christina regales us with a story about her old bulldog. I had a cat before I came here, as much as a stray can have anything. His name was Bombur. He was orange and fat on the rats on the streets, and he'd come back to wherever mom and I were sleeping every night and curl up on my stomach. I want to tell them about him, but none of them would care.

"You mean… killing the dog, right?" I hear Will ask. What?

"Yeah," she replies solemnly. "I mean, you guys all had to do that too, right?" She looks at Al, then Tris. "You didn't." I'm completely lost.

"Hmm?" Tris asks, trying to be nonchalant.

"You're hiding something. You're fidgeting."

"What?"

"In Candor," Al says, nudging Tris with his elbow, "we learn to read body language so we know when someone is lying or keeping someone from us."

"Oh. Well…" She scratches the back of her neck.

"See, there it is again!"

"No, I didn't kill the dog." What dog?

"How did you get Dauntless without using the knife?" Will asks, narrowing his eyes.

"I didn't. I got Abnegation." It takes most of my self-control not to snort. I don't believe that for a second. There's still something she's hiding. Maybe she's—no. I can't think like the conversation finally makes sense-they're talking about the aptitude test.

"But you chose Dauntless anyway?" Christina says. "Why?" Maybe the same reason Al did. Maybe the same reason I did.

"I told you. It was the food," she answers with a smirk.

"Did you guys know that Tris had never seen a hamburger before she came here?" Christina says, laughing, before launching into the story of our first dinner here. I smile. I'm part of that story. Well, not part of it, but I was there.

After dinner, we return to the dorm. The dorm, where the stage one rankings will almost certainly be. A knot forms in my stomach. I could lose my best friend already. I could go back to being factionless easily. My feet drag as we get there.

When we get there, Four stands where the board usually hangs. The blackboard is leaning against his legs, facing away from us.

"For those of you who just came in, I'm explaining how the ranks are determined," he addresses us. "After the first round of fights, we ranked you according to your skill level. The number of points you earn depends on your skill level and the skill level of the person you beat. You earn more points for beating someone of a high skill level. I don't reward preying on the weak. That is cowardice." He pauses. "If you have a high rank, you lose points for losing to a low-ranked opponent."

Molly lets out a snort. She got beat by Tris yesterday. That's going to hurt her.

"Stage two of training is weighted more heavily than stage one, because it is more closely ties to overcoming cowardice. That said, it is extremely difficult to rank high at the end of initiation if you rank low in stage one."

"We will announce the cuts tomorrow," he tells us. "The fact that you are transfers and the Dauntless-born initiates are not will not be taken into consideration. Four of you could be factionless and none of them. Or four of them could be factionless and none of you. Or any combination thereof. That said, here are your ranks."

He returns the board to its spot on the wall and moves back so that we can see it.

Edward

Dorothy

Second. Holy shit, I'm second! My heart leaps and I almost scream in excitement. Second place? I continue reading down the list.

Peter

Will

Christina

Molly

Tris

Drew

Al

Myra

Al isn't last. But he isn't anywhere near safe. Unless three or more Dauntless-born initiates completely failed, he's factionless. My grin falls. I only just found a best friend, and I'm going to lose him? Tears well up in my eyes as an uneasy silence settles over the room.

I'm not sure if I'm glad when it's broken, but the distraction forces my tears away. "What?" Molly demands indignantly. She points at Christina. "I beat her! I beat her in minutes, and she's ranked above me?"

"Yeah," Christina smirks. "And?"

"If you intend to secure yourself a high rank, I suggest you don't make a habit of losing to low-ranked opponents."

A look of understanding crosses Molly's face, and changes quickly to rage. "You," she says, narrowing her eyes on Tris. "You are going to pay for this." With those words, she turns on her heel and stomps out of the dorm. I expect either Drew or Peter to follow after her, but neither does.

Will claps me on the shoulder. "Congrats on second place!"

"Yeah, thanks," I reply, more worried about Al, whose face has gone entirely white. I shake Will's hand off to put my hand on Al's shoulder, trying to comfort him.

"And look at you. Number seven," he says, turning to Tris upon my rejection of his energy.

"Still might not have been good enough," she reminds him.

"It will be, don't worry," he assures her. "We should celebrate."

"Well, let's go then," Christina exclaims, grabbing Tris's arm with one hand and Al's with the other. "Come on, Al. You don't know how the Dauntless-borns did. You don't know anything for sure."

"I'm just going to bed," he mumbles, yanking his arm from her grasp and sulking over to our bed—my bed. It's strange to think how quickly I've adjusted to sharing a bed.

"Let's go, DJ," Christina says, grabbing my arm with the hand that had just been freed up.

I shake my head. "I'll stay here with him," I say, nodding toward Al.

"But you're already dressed for celebration!" I give a sorry smile, but gently remove my arm from her grasp. "But you got second place! You deserve to celebrate."

"I just don't feel like celebrating," I explain. "Sorry."

She purses her lips, but doesn't push the matter any further. They just file out of the room.

I turn to Al, who's now curled up in the bed, covers pulled over his head. I cast a saddened look that he doesn't see toward him before crossing the room to him.

I curl up behind him, wrapping my arm around his chest and pressing a light kiss to his back. "You should be celebrating," he says quietly. "You've earned it."

I sigh against him. "I don't wanna do anything without my best friend."

"You're still in your dress," he reminds me. I don't move. I just pull the covers up from between us over myself.

A/N: I still do not own is the first chapter that hasn't gone perfectly lined up with the chapter in the book, but it seemed unavoidable, since the correlating chapter in the book was just visiting day, for which DJ had no visitors. It would have had no substance. So I decided to add in half of the next book chapter into this one. Next chapter kinda balances it out, though.