Chapter Nine

" It's not Gilligan's Island, or Fantasy Island or Treasure Island!" he declared.

" Then what island is it?" She queried earnestly.

" It's whatever island Shit Creek flows out into !"

Quotes from a conversation between Abby Fujimoto and Jacob Black.

Spinner, eyebrows threatening to fly off of his forehead as Holly J explains the source of the explosion to him : " You gotta be joking! A STILL?!"

Holly J, tossing her ponytail in a superior sort of way : "It's no joke. The Schlep talked our resident geniuses into making a still for him. He convinced them they'd get extra credit when we got rescued for it."

Daley , looking at her stepbrother Lex through smoke effected eyes, : " Lex, I can't believe you fell for that! Look at him, he's a raving drunk!"

The small, Hispanic Lex shrugs his shoulders, a rueful expression on his face. " Sorry Daley, it was just an interesting challenge. And we had all of the material from the plane and the fruits all around here. And then Connor said my design was flawed and I couldn't let that pass."

Connor:" It was flawed; my design was doing just fine until Claire had the idea to throw some jet fuel on the fire!" Gives Clarie a evil look, obviously fighting the urge to headbutt her.

Claire : " I was just trying to speed things up! The Schlep swore I'd do a months detention if we didn't have a batch ready by sundown!"

Spinner, grinning, : " Well little Edwards, you succeeded in speeding it up all right. Too bad you nearly burned the whole end of the island down. Would have if not for our new friends the Cullens and the Quaaludes."

They all turn and look at where the soot stained Cullens and werewolves are resting by the edge of the jungle.

It was fortunate they had arrived just as the plane exploded, as if in protest to the musical number they had performed. The power and speed of the supernatural tribe had just barely been enough to keep the blaze from killing them all. And they had several other problem to fight as well.

Captain Russell was heavily sedated. So was Leah Clearwater, who had imprinted on him. Esme Cullen was looking a lot more like a zombie than a vampire now; they'd wrapped her in vines and a very convenient pain of handcuffs Spinner had swiped from airport security , just for the heck of it. Carlisle was close at hand, obviously ready to throw his wife across the island to keep her from the odious but powerful blood of the pilot.

The expanded wolf pack was currently giving werewolf 101 to Eric and Ryan. Eric was adjusting fairly well, but Ryan had problems. Not the least of which was he had imprinted on Emmet Cullen, who most emphatically did not reciprocate the pink furred wolfs attention. His wife, Rosalie, thought it was hilarious, when she could be pried away from the POWER CLIQUE.

The POWER CLIQUE. That was the only suitable name for Paige , Rosalie, Sharpey and Taylor Hagen's group. If beauty could explode, they would have wiped out half the ocean. If attitude could explode, the Earth would have been doomed. They had had an hour's discussion on how gorgeous they were. And then they begun a love fest of gratuitous compliments that seem to go on forever.

Some of the others had made friends as well. Troy, Chad, and Gabriella had begun speaking to Edward, Bella and Nessie. It was a given that a song would be pulled forth at some point, to the horror of them all. Sav and Peter were on the fringe of the group as well. Even a red eyed Jackson was lurking there, under the watchful eyes of Jasper and Alice, who seemed to have taken a liking to the tall youth. So far, they'd taken down a dozen sharks out in the bay to keep the edge off of Jackson's newborn hunger.

The Schelp was unconscious. Fortunately for him, Alice had rescued him at the last second from for him, unfortunately for him, he had tried to grope the petite vampire. The lump on the side of his head told the world how she had reacted to it.

And Melissa Wu had vanished. No one had seen the raven haired young woman leave. All they knew was that once she had seen Jackson try to kill the Schlep, she had ran off , screaming incoherently. Lex Marin swore she was saying "Why him and not me!"; a cryptic comment, to say the least.

Several hours later, the leaders of the groups had gathered together to decide on a plan of action. Carlisle, Edward, Spinner, Paige, Daley, Nathan, Troy, Chad, Gabriella and Jacob stood in a circle, gazing down a slight incline on the disparate gathering.

Carlisle: " I'm afraid our problems are just starting; I'm almost positive there is a troll on this island."

Edward: " Are you certain Carlisle? A troll? How dreadful, if it were true."

Spinner, to Bella : " Is your old man always this dramatic?"

Bella, indigantly, : " He's NOT old! And thanks to him, I'll never be old. He's only seventeen!"

Spinner: " How long has he been 17?"

Bella, looking uncomfortable: " A while. About 90 years."

Spinner, a disgusted expression on his face : And how old are you?"

Bella: " Almost 19."

Spinner : " And how long have you been almost 19?"

Bella: " A couple of years now."

Spinner looks thoughtful, then disgusted: "He was ninety years older than you?! Man, and they keep calling Jake a pedowolf; what's that make Edward, a pedovamp?"

There is a unmistakable snickering from Jacob, most of the wolfs and Emmet at that. Jasper smirks. Edward hand his head. Bella rolls her eyes.

Daley, looking extremely uncomfortable with all the mythical activities surrounding them, : " A troll? Bad enough we have vampires who sparkle and werewolves who fall in love at first sight, but now we have to worry about a troll, too? And what's her messed up story? Does she glow in the dark, or break into showtunes for no apparent reason?" Glares at the East High students for a moment. They fall back from her not so evil glare. "What's next, leprechaun's?"

Jake, grinning: "If the Lucky Charms dude pops up, I'm refusing to go on in this story!"

Edward, a scared look on his face: " Jacob, my brother, my son, don't break the 4th Wall!"

Jacob, hanging his head: "Sorry about that markm57, adversary2113! You knowe us 'wolves and our authority issues! "

Carlisle, nastily:" Now that we're back in character...Yes, , there may be a troll on this island and if there is, we're all in trouble. Trolls are the evilest, foulest creatures to walk the Earth. They find fault where there is none. They criticise when praise should be hear. THey hate hu8man, vampires and werewolves. As well as everything else."

Spinner, shooting a mischievous look at Paige : " Sounds like someone I know." Winces as she slaps his head.

Jake : " Ok, so, they aren't nice. Do they have any special powers?"

Troy: " Do they sing or dance? "Cause I"m the singer and dancer around here!"

Chad, shaking his hair, : " Hey, I can dance circles around you Troy!"

Nathan : " There's a pretty picture!" Sarcasm drips from his voice as he looks at his virtual twin.

Gabriella , nervously tugging at her clothes as if she really wants to pull them off for no apparent reason : "I Am Scared."

Daley, unleashing her bitchiest tone yet: " Just don't sing about it!"

Gabriella : " You hartwell kids are so boring!"

Carlisle, impatiently : " I'm telling you, we have a problem!" Goes quiet as Emmet's voice can be heard in the background.

Emmet:' Dude, hunch once more and I swear I'll castrate you. With my teeth!"

Ryan: " Ooh, you're a kinky one! "

Rosalie : "Not too bright Emmet, threatening to use your teeeth on the queerwolf there!"

Edward: " We need to split up and search the island for this troll then. If we locate it, we can keep track. Jake's pack would be perfect for occupying it."

Jake : " Hey, we're werewolves, not nannies to a bunch of kids and whiny bloodsuckers!"

bella grins at Renesmee.

Nessie: " Do it fuzzy! Your goddess commands it!"

Jake, howling, " Dammit, if I weren't imprinted on you..."

Bella : "Then you'd be obssessed with me and I'd tell you to do it."

Jake walks off grumbling about the ingratitude of loved ones and how being a werewolf isn't as fun as it used to be.

NEXT- Another imprinting! And we check in on Aro at the used car lot!