List of Oneshots Part 3

by yugiohfan163

Yup, the sequel to the sequel. Requests are allowed.

10. Chapter 10

List of oneshots part 3

chapter 10

What if the son of Tatsumi and Esdeath appeared?

Series: Akame Ga Kill

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-Revolutionary Army HQ-

Tatsumi panted while doing some handstands with Akame watching his progress along with Leone. "One hundred and nine, one hundred and ten, one hundred and eleven…"

"That's it Tatsumi, you're getting it." smiled Leone.

"Nom nom nom." Akame munched on a fish and gave a thumbs up.

Tatsumi groaned while trying to keep it going, but he was starting to run out of fuel. "One hundred and fifty, one hundred and fifty one….one hundred and…" he then fell on the ground and panted heavily.

"Damn, oh well, that's an improvement since last time." shrugged Leone.

"Nom nom nom." The swordswoman said while nodded, unaware that something was slowly opening up near the boy.

And that opening looked like a thin rainbow colored line that slowly opened up like a flower. It was glowing and grew which made the three turn and spot it making them grow on the defensive.

"...ahhhhh!" Cried out a voice before getting shot through the tear and crashed right into a tree. "Ow!"

"That's gonna hurt." remarked Leone with a sweatdrop as Akame and Tatsumi nodded.

The figure groaned while the tear disappeared and turned into a pair of long hooked spears with green scarab wings on the ends and a pair of red gems in the middle of each, which landed on the ground with a thud. "Ow….miscalculated the trajectory of Heh's slingshot ability….ow."

"Are you alright?" asked Akame.

"No, I have splinters in my nose!" the figure yelled. "And it hurts!"

"Well that's what happens when you fly into trees." remarked Tatsumi walking over. "Let me take a look."

The figure groaned while falling onto his back, only to reveal he was a young boy with a black jacket over his shoulders, a pair of blue shorts, some white high heels that were about his size, a pair of brown gloves, a pair of bluish brown eyes, a small white and black hat similar to a familiar general and short blue hair with bangs that went down to his shoulders. "Ow, I think the splinters went into my nose!"

Tatsumi and the others looked at him in surprise while the boy rubbed his nose with a frown.

"A fine time to leave my tweezers at home." he grumbled before looking at the boy. "...AH!" he then jumped away and picked his weapons up while not falling from the highheels. "Oh god! I-I-I-It's you!"

"Um...me?" he looked confused before holding his hands up. "Look, no need to be scared, we're not going to hurt you, right girls?"

"Yes." Akame nodded.

The boy went wide eyed. "Its you! The one that nearly ate the empire into agricultural ruin! The dreaded Akame the glutton!" he stood up with a scowl while holding the spears at the ready. "Let's see you eat with your stomach ripped open and dunked in acid."

"What?" She said while seeing a long black string appearing from the hooks as he jumped on it, got hooked in place by the heels, and sent flying at her.

"FEAR MY HEADBUTT!"

Only for her to duck and caused the boy to go flying into a wall.

"OW! MY NOSE!"

"Idiot."

"Just who are you?" frowned Leone.

He groaned in pain while looking at Leone. "...by god! The chief of police! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to steal your booze! I was just taste testing for a friend!" he bowed his head while scowling. 'Damn it, now I'm gonna get grounded!'

"Huh?" she said while Tatsumi walked over to the boy.

"Just who are you exactly.?"

He looked up and gulped. "I-It's Exsumi, the son of Esdeath and…..you." 'I can't lie to father! He might ground me more than the chief!'

"...eh?!"

The boy looked away. "Hi father."

(Later)

Everyone looked at the boy while he was in a chair and eating some cakes. All of them on edge and still wanting a lot of answers.

"So why is miss eyepatch so mad?" Exsumi asked. "I know mother hates her, but….is she always this scary?"

"First off, I have a name, it's Najenda." frowned the woman. "And you have a lot of explaining to do 'Exsumi'."

"That is my name." He smiled. "And I told you I'm the son of Tatsumi and Esdeath, is that so hard to understand?"

"Yes!" spoke up Mine. "It's crazy, insane, and impossible!"

"So are you." He countered. "After all, you tried to kill me as a baby, I think, I don't remember what mother exactly told me." He shrugged. "But looking at you, you are a worm and a bitch." he glared while raising an eyebrow. "Try anything, and I'll end you, remember that."

She frowned while Leone looked at the boy.

"So I'm the police chief?"

"Y-Yes….and you scare me a lot."

"Hold up, you're scared of her?" spoke Lubbock looking between them with a chuckle. "And she's the police chief? How does that work?"

"By headbutting them with her…" he pointed to her chest. "Boobzillas!"

Leone blinked before moving her chest on his face.

"MMMMMMMM!"

"Leone!" blushed Tatsumi with Lubbock giving a fist with an annoyed look.

'Lucky!'

"Leone! Enough." frowned Najenda.

"Fine." She said while moving away as Exsumi panted heavily.

"That….set of boobs…..are evil!" He yelled. "And huge!"

"It's time you start talking. If you're Tatsumi's son, why would he have one with Esdeath? She's the empire's worst general, ever." she remarked walking over to look him in the eye. "And how is Leone part of it? Do you mean she joins them? That implies she'd turn and stab us in the back, which I find hard to believe."

"Well it's hard to explain." He admitted. "Because I don't know why myself, except that father and mother were stuck in a 'palace of booze' whatever that means."

'Bar.' thought everyone there with Tatsumi dropping his jaw.

"I have a son...with Esdeath…"

Exsumi looked at him before smiling. "So dad. Did you kill Honest and get crowned king yet?"

"What? No I'm not king!"

"So...emperor then?"

"No!"

"Oh….so you are grand emperor of the planet and future galactic ruler of the planet Mine is fat?" he asked with a dark grin.

"I'M NOT FAT!"

"Yes you are~" He said with a very Esdeath like chuckle.

"Enough!" yelled Najenda before grabbing the front of his clothes. "Talk, what happened next? Did the empire win or the revolutionary army?"

He moved his hand up and chuckled. "I think the army won, I mean if father DIDN'T marry mother, then why would I be here then? For a friend of mother, you aren't that bright."

She frowned at that remark.

"But hey, I didn't have a fetish for strings. I'm a fan of inflicting pain on my bullies." he chuckled which sounded cold. "You sure seem to be tense, ever considered getting a massage?"

She frowned as Tatsumi looked at his son.

"Wait...what does that mean?"

"She likes a green haired man, before he died that is." Exsumi said with a carefree smile. "But hey, death is a thing you know."

Lubbock and Najenda went wide eyed with the first blushing while Mine walked over.

"What are you talking about me for? You said I tried to kill you as a baby? That's ridiculous, I'm not some cold blooded killer, can't say the same about Esdeath."

"Mother might be cold, but she's a good mother." He said seriously. "Even if she thinks a certain lollipop girl needs to get a man, whatever that means, and not with father apparently. But you! You went mad after they married! Where's your excuse!?"

She jumped back at that.

"Well?!"

"Um...wait! I'm not to blame! You're the son of a sadist!"

He looked away with a cocky smile. "Did you just find out? Wow you're stupid~"

"Mine, calm down." ordered Najenda.

She huffed as Exsumi looked at his father and smiled.

"So did you make babies yet?"

"W-W-WHAT!?"

"What? I thought you were getting ready to give me a sibling or something. And where is mother?" he asked while taking some of Akame's cooked meat and ate it. "Mmm, needs salt."

Akame glared at him while Tatsumi shook his head.

"I'm not into her like that!"

He blinked before saying. "Yet you married her."

"He has a point." Leone said with a nod.

"But I don't LIKE her!"

Exsumi sighed before looking at the one eyed leader of the rebellion. "Take me to mother."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because you are a hazard."

"...eh?" he said with an almost Tatsumi like expression of confusion. "A hazard? To who? The empire or the army?"

"To the past in general. How did you even arrive here anyway?"

He looked away with embarrassment. "I kinda used Heh's ability to slip through time and space….on myself." he then gulped. "But I had a good reason!"

"And that would be?"

"...I was….trying to get to school and I might have been late." Exsumi said while a flustered face while rubbing the back of his head. "Again."

All of them anime fell on the ground.

"What? It's a good reason to go backwards in time right?" He asked sheepishly.

"No!" Mine yelled out.

"Bitch." He muttered before saying. "So can I see mother now? I need something from her."

"We just said no." deadpanned Lubbock.

"I thought you said squeak squeak." He mocked. "But it's for my homework. If I don't get it then Dorothea will kill me! And she's an evil homeroom teacher!"

"Forget it, just go back to your time." spoke Akame.

"Can't."

"Why?"

"I forgot how to go forward in time." he said bluntly.

"You're joking, right?" asked Tatsumi.

"Sorry father. But I'm a bit of a dunce." He said while sticking his tongue out. "Like mother when she is thinking about you….and the body pillow." 'Why does mother even HAVE that!? It's...so old and gross!'

Tatsumi shivered hearing that while Exsumi yawned with boredom.

"So can I go now? I need to see mother and kick Honest in the balls."

"You're not leaving unless I say so." spoke Najenda.

"Then can I go?"

"No."

"...can father come with me?"

"No."

"Can father AND yourself accompany me to mother?"

"No."

"Then can father go to mother and give her a message?"

"No."

He frowned at the woman. "You know, you're making it more and more harder NOT to break free and gouge your last eye out."

"You can't even get out."

"Hello? I trained with a father that turns into a dragon when bored and a mother that freezes time! I'm more than capable of blinding you with my body bounded like this." he smirked with a raised eyebrow. "So I'm gonna tell you again, let me go, and you get to keep it, what's it gonna be?"

She frowned while looking at the boy as Tatsumi saw killer intent coming from them.

'It's like a very angry Danger Beast fighting another one for a kill….or Akame hunting a Danger Beast for food.'

"Nom nom nom." Akame said while eating some cookies.

"Well? What is it going to be cyclops?"

"Susanoo!" called Najenda.

"Yes?" said organic teigu asked while appearing next to her. "You need me?"

"Oh no, you brought out the big guns, whatever will I do?" he asked mockingly before giving a dark grin. "Oh wait, I'll just do this!"

She blinked before seeing the boy spit at her face while using his arms to break the bonds. "Susanoo, restrain him."

"Yes ma'am." He said before rushing towards Exsumi as the boy dodged him and surprisingly grabbed Heh and pointed the tips near his core.

"Nobody move! Or I will destroy this teigu before his time and destroy your futures! And...apparently mine too...but I'll fix that later!" he yelled out while looking very flustered and serious at the same time.

"Tatsumi, might wanna have a moment between daddy and son." whispered Leone.

"B-But he's-"

"Do it." Akame whispered with a sharp edge to her tone. "Now."

He groaned. "Hey...son?"

"Yes father?"

"Why don't you put down the teigu and we have a little talk?"

Exsumi frowned. "Why? So you can put me in the time out corner again? Because I didn't do ANYTHING that would kill someone! Not after the last ten dogs….um, forget I said that!"

'Oh god! My son's a psychopath!'

"So tell me father, what do you want now!"

"Just let him go and I'll explain."

"...fine, but if he attacks me I will kill him...and myself...wow time travel is so confusing."

"I understand, just put it down and we can just talk. Father to son."

He nodded before letting Susanoo go and walked towards the boy. "Ok father, lets talk."

'That was….easier than I expected.' he thought while Exsumi scowled at Mine.

"But I'd rather we do it away from HER, otherwise I might decapitate her."

"Why?"

"Because she is a bitch with a cannon, bitches love cannons for pleasure, mother always says to me before hurting a prisoner."

"Um, sure, whatever you think will make you comfortable."

He smiled as the two walked away as Exsumi gave Mine the bird.

'I hate that brat!'

(With the two boys)

"So what do you want to talk about father?"

"Well….um…." 'Crap! I don't know what to say! I have no idea what to tell my own son!'

Exsumi looked at him with a smile. "Is it about mother? Because if you think she's a loose woman, you are dead wrong."

"Nothing like that." he sweatdropped. "But, I just realized something. Earlier you were scared of Leone, but now you're….you know."

"Oh that. I AM scared of the chief, but since she does not have her….war hammer." he gulped. "I can be my usual happy go lucky self in front of you all."

'Well, I guess that's not so-'

"Now since we're away from the others, let's talk about mother and why you should get with her."

"E-Eh!?"

"What? She's the perfect wife for you! Even if she is moody on her period….don't tell her I said that." he said with a nervous look. "She might put me in the dungeon with a Danger Beast...again."

Tatsumi shook his head. "Look, I can't be thinking about something like that, me and my friends have a war to deal with. We have to change the empire for the better, but...how can me and Esdeath get together? She's just so...so….so…."

"Well once you and mother married the empire got sorted out when she 'leaked' sensitive information to the public, including the emperor, and mother said you castrated him in dragon form. She nearly orgasmed...whatever that means." he admitted. "And what? Cute? Beautiful? Charming? A MILF? Or PMILF? Uh, what is the acronym for a pre MILF?"

"Gah! Ok ok ok! I get it!" he blushed while trying to keep from getting any weird images.

"So want to see her?" he asked while holding his teigu near his chest. "I can't send us back in time, but with Heh's slingshot ability we can make it to the capital before you say 'AHH! YOU'RE GROUNDED!'."

"I'll pass." he said before seeing his son setting up the weapon.

"You say something? All I heard was bugs buzzing, do you have an infestation?" as the hooks started to gain it's long black string and was pulled to Tatsumi's side.

"H-Hey! I said I'll pass!"

"Too late!" he yelled as he grabbed the boy and was sent flying into the sky. "YAHOO!"

"AHHHH!"

(Five seconds later)

-Capital, palace courthouse-

Esdeath hummed while walking along the path and sighing. 'I thought torturing prisoners of war would lift my spirits, but not even that's enough today, I wonder why.' she looked up at the sky and saw a shooting star. 'Huh? Why is one in the sky and….getting closer!'

"YAHOO!" cried out a voice before the 'star' crashed into Esdeath and caused a dust cloud to envelope the area. "Ow….that one hurt more than...the tree…"

"I heard….something snap…"

Esdeath groaned while noticing a boy on her chest.

"Ow…" groaned Exsumi while looking up and paled. "...shit!"

Tatsumi turned to see Exsumi on Esdeath's chest with said girl looking down. 'Oh crap!'

"You!"

He jumped off and started bowing. "I'M SORRY MOTHER! PLEASE DON'T SEND ME TO THE GLADIATOR SCHOOL! PLEASE!"

Esdeath stood up and looked at him in annoyance before turning to Tatsumi with stars in her eyes. "I thought I'd never see you again!"

"H-Hi….Esdeath…" he gulped in fear. "Um...I have good news."

"What?"

"...our son came from the future."

"...come again?"

"Our son." he pointed to the bowing boy. "Came from the future….and is now trying to...look I'm not into his line of thinking! Heck I don't-"

"Father." Exsumi interrupted. "I know you and mother are technically still single but….can I have a sibling please? I want to annoy him or her with my teigu."

The general blinked while looking unimpressed. "He is my son?"

Tatsumi nodded.

"...he looks weak."

"Mother." Exsumi frowned. "I am not weak! Heck I beat TEN Danger Beasts once, while naked….and in the snow….for a year….at age ten…."

"Oh really now?" she crossed her arms with a frown. "That sounds like a tall tale, if you're speaking the truth, then you won't mind proving your strength."

He shook his head before smirking. "Or I could tell father about how you made a body pillow using his hair that YOU took when he wasn't looking that night after the tournament. How is THAT for strength mother?"

Esdeath's eyes widened while Tatsumi paled. "How could you have known about that?" she gained a dark look with the air becoming colder. "Did you sneak into my room?"

"No. You told me." he deadpanned. "When I was six and when you were missing father when he went to battle some barbarians. He is the emperor you know, well soon to be one at that."

She blinked at that as Exsumi walked towards Tatsumi.

"Also, I know that father also thought you were a school girl with a crush when he saw you being swooned that fateful night. But I forgot if you kissed him or the other way around." he said while smirking. "But enough small talk, I want you and father to date!"

"..."

"..."

"What? Got something in my teeth?"

"Um, maybe we should go, you probably have a busy schedule." spoke Tatsumi nervously.

"No." Esdeath frowned. "Stay here."

He froze hearing that.

"So you want me to date Tatsumi?" she asked the blue haired boy. "Is that correct?"

"Yep~ I want you to….um bump uglies? Ugh what does that even mean!?"

"You mean have sex?"

"What's sex?" he asked with a straight face. "Is it like castrating bullies with a spoon?"

"...is he being serious?"

"I don't think so." Tatsumi admitted with a blush.

"So father, I know you think mother is a scary person, but she has her fine points."

"Like what?"

"She had nice boobs, cool hair, a strong aura, cute cheeks, want me to go on? I can go all day." Exsumi said while pointing to the mentioned parts.

"N-No!"

He frowned. "So you don't think mother is your type? Wow….you're a weirdo."

"I-I meant don't go saying stuff like that about your mother!" Tatsumi blushed as Esdeath started to blush.

"So you think I'm a mother?" She asked.

"Um…"

"Yes he does." Exsumi smiled. "And he wants to give you strong children, like me."

"Don't go speaking up for people for them!"

He deadpanned. "Then go to the 'palace of booze' and just get married father!"

"Palace of booze? You mean a common bar?" asked Esdeath.

The boy blinked before turning to her. "So that's what it means? I thought it was where fathers and mothers get frisky and start acting lovey dovey. Huh, never knew."

Tatsumi blushed red while Esdeath started to ponder going to a bar right now with her 'fated' lover.

'Not my choice, but if it lands me him and we start a family, then who am I to be picky?'

'Crap! I have a bad feeling.' thought Tatsumi before doing the first thing that came to mind.

Bolt for the other end like never before.

Only for some ice to cover the exit and the surrounding walls.

"Tatsumi~ May I have a word with you~?" Esdeath called out with a grin.

"Go get him mother!" Exsumi cheered out loud. "Get some babies made! I need a sibling!"

"Incursio!" cried Tatsumi pulling his sword out before getting covered in armor and broke through the ice and exit.

"Come back!" Esdeath called out as Exsumi moved Heh's string out and crashed into the armored figure, sending him into a wall.

"Ow! Stupid impulses!" 'Success! I know I have enough strength to pin him to a wall! Siblings here I come!'

"Get off me Exsumi!"

"Nope~ Mother needs to marry you." He groaned with a smile as Esdeath ran over to the armored boy. "I got him mother! You can make babies now!"

Esdeath smirked at this. "Good work Exsumi."

"Nope!" called Tatsumi before picking the boy up. "Sorry about this." before tossing him at Esdeath.

"Ow!" Both yelled out before Esdeath threw her son at Tatsumi hard.

CRACK!

"AH MY SPLEEN!" Exsumi yelled out. "MY THIRD SPLEEN!"

"Ow." Tatsumi groaned while his armor cracked a little. 'This is bad, I can't take them both on!'

Exsumi groaned while cracking his back and arms, only to grab Tatsumi by the arms and pulled back. "F.a.t.h.e.r~ Don't ruin the future with your shitty actions~ I know you," he pulled the arms back and Esdeath heard a few loud pops. "Don't want to lose your wings before becoming a dragon right?"

Tatsumi groaned from the hold while wide eyed. 'Just how strong is he?!'

He smiled. "Now marry mother or," he moved the arms back even further with a sickening pop. "I will end you now~ Ok?"

"Exsumi." frowned Esdeath walking over. "Let go of Tatsumi, now."

He gulped before doing so with a bow. "Ok mother, as you command." 'Shit, I became afraid again!'

She walked over to a nervous Tatsumi before she crouched down and smiled. "Is anything broken?"

"N-Not that I know of." He said nervously while feeling like his arms were about to fall out.

"Exsumi! You didn't pull hard enough, pull on one of his arms!"

"Yes mother!" he said cheerfully while skipping towards Tatsumi and instantly broke his right arm. "Done~"

"Ahhhh!"

"Perfect." she picked Tatsumi up and slung him over her shoulder. "Don't worry Tatsumi, I'll nurse you back to health all on my own."

"B-But I'm fine!" he yelled before Exsumi broke his other arm and both legs.

"Feel better father~?" he said with a smile.

"Oh god that hurt!"

"See? Now relax, I'll get you patched up in no time." Esdeath smiled while walking away. "And Exsumi, you can have Kurome's treats, she has them in the meeting room."

"Thanks mother! I love you!" he said before running away to the meeting room. "COOKIES!"

'Fuck! If she's gonna do what I think, then…' "Exsumi! I'm grounding you until you're thirty! That includes before you're born!"

"AH!" He cried out before turning a corner. "MEANY!"

"Let's do our best to make a big family Tatsumi-kun~"

He paled while wishing he was knocked out.

(Into the future)

A tear opened up as Exsumi landed in the throne room with his face in the wall.

"Ow….yep I hate walls now." He groaned while looking around. "Did doing it backwards allow Heh to slingshot me home at the right time?" he looked around. "And….is it before homeroom? I hope so."

"Exsumi!"

He paled in fear. "O-Oh….hi….mother….father." 'Yep...home.'

"I made myself clear all those years ago, didn't I?" frowned an older Tatsumi with two Tyrant horns walking over with Incursio on his waist. "That you were grounded for the next thirty years not counting your birth!"

"Um….help mother." he begged.

Exdeath, who was now older with a crown on her head frowned at him. "Tatsumi is right, you need to be punished."

'DAMN IT!'

"And since you're such a sadist like your mother, I think it's only fair we play matchmaker for you with someone...or something, just as sadistic."

Exsumi gulped. "Y-You don't mean….." 'NOT HER!'

"Yes, that's why I've already told her you'd be glad to spend the day with her."

He paled before gulping. "B-But I already talked to her mother Kurome and she wasn't that sadistic!"

"Well she hasn't forgiven you for the theft of her cookies, nor had Wave." Said Tatsumi while the throne room doors opened up. "Oh and here she is, hello Sanki."

"EXSUMI!"

Said boy paled as he saw a girl with spiky black hair, wearing some purple armor and had a long spear in her hands. 'Shit!' "H-Hi Sanki….um….did class start?"

"YOU WERE FIVE HOURS LATE!"

"Um...I was sick?"

She growled before grabbing him by the shirt with her spear and walked away. "You. Me. The battle field. First one to bleed gets to pay for dinner!"

"B-But you eat like a pig!"

"I hope you bleed out!" She snapped in rage.

"Have fun~" sang Tatsumi with a glint. 'Now you'll get to feel what I felt when your mother decided to 'take my temperature', even if I came to like it most of all.'

"Oh and Sanki." Esdeath called out. "Don't forget to break his legs and arms. Very painfully."

"Ok mother in law~!"

'AHHH!'