A/N: This chapter was originally part of the previous one, but during the writing process it grew so long I decided to split it. I didn't realise that I would need to take a rather long break from the site due to minor fanfic addiction management directly after I'd posted chapter 9. Also summertime, and a large amount of the requisite pre-Christmas baking were using up all my free time.

Anyway, I'm back now! To all of you who reviewed while I was away, thank-you! And I promise to catch up on my replies over the next few days.

Lots of Love

George xx

Spectacular beta work by the ridiculously talented AdVENTitiious

Previously….

Affection blossomed in Sirius's chest, and he pounced, knocking Remus back onto the floor, Remus all but squawked in surprise. Sirius attacked with eager lips and a grateful tongue while he tried to work up the courage to return the favour.

He was quite frightened that he would realise mid blowie that he wasn't bent enough, even if the idea was desperately appealing at this moment. His hand on Remus's prick was one thing, it was so similar to wanking that it was easy to adapt to, but a cock in his mouth? There would be no pretending after that …..

Feeling valiant and noble – and like a total idiot for doubting himself – Sirius swallowed his bitter, salty mouthful.

Remus lay on the carpet flushed and dazed with his trousers gaping. His left hand was still gripping Sirius's forearm from a moment ago when he'd seized it in an incoherent expression of passion. Sirius just sort of stared, brim-full of a strange but pleasant reverence for this new side of his old friend.

Fortunately Sirius's internal romantic nonsense was interrupted by a quick little knock on the front door. Remus jolted upright and his abrupt movement gave Sirius more of a fright than the person knocking at the door.

"Who's that?" Remus asked, wriggling about to get his trousers refastened. He shot a concerned glance at the door as he struggled with his zipper.

"Dunno," Sirius said, finding it difficult to shift his gaze from Remus at all, and not able to be too worried about anything, even though he had plenty of reasons to be. He clambered to his feet feeling light-headed and clumsy, in the very best way, and grabbed his wand from the sofa cushions before heading to the door. His front door let directly into the sitting room, and Remus hurried to haul himself up onto a chair and look casual despite his disarranged clothes, pink cheeks and slightly drowsy eyes.

Sirius smiled privately to himself, thrilled to have had such an effect.

The visitor knocked again, and Sirius held his wand at the ready as he opened the door a crack.

His caution proved unnecessary, out in the hall with hands shoved deep in the pockets of his muggle parka stood Caradoc. "Moody finally got through to you eh?" he said at once, eyeing Sirius's wand. It had obviously been raining wherever he'd apparated from because his jacket was speckled with darker spots and he still had the hood up. Cold too by the look of him Sirius thought, Caradoc's lips pale and his cheeks ruddy. His blond hair was poking out at all angles from beneath the hood.

"Enviable vigilance there mate," he said, upbeat as ever, even when being ironic. "I promised I'd fill you in on the developments from last night, thought I'd drop by on my way home."

"Oh that's –" Sirius began, his heart sinking, for the first time in months he wasn't glad to see the guy. He didn't want to share his time with Remus, even if he did want to know what was happening with the wolves that were mentioned last night.

"Have you heard from your mate?" Caradoc continued on, as if he could read minds. "I was meant to talk to him too, but buggered if I know where to find him now, no one knows where he lives."

"Remus? Yeah he's here," Sirius said, deciding that perhaps it could just be a quick visit, they probably should know if hungry homeless werewolves were nearby. He stepped back to let Caradoc in.

"Not feeling too rough after last night then?" Caradoc asked, as he pulled his parka over his head. Beneath it was a thick knitted jumper with a high collar, that made him look even more solidly muscled than usual. Sirius wondered if he'd been out in the weather all night. Caradoc tossed his jacket on the arm of the sofa, then he sat and grinned at Remus. "You look better," he observed, "not so twitchy."

Remus shook his head. "Definitely not," he agreed, determinedly not looking at Sirius. Sirius hid his smirk, nothing like having your dick sucked to relax you. "Just glad to be home to tell you the truth," he continued, getting to his feet, "Do you both want tea?"

"Oh yeah, that would be great," Caradoc said appreciatively. Sirius sat on the sofa beside him, bemused to be offered a drink in his own home, and getting the impression that Remus just wanted to leave the room.

"Where're the other two?" Caradoc asked, looking around the sitting room. Remus's old tea mug was on the floor beside the record player and Sirius's was balanced on the arm of the sofa near him, there were still records scattered over the rug, but Remus had switched the music for the much more mellow Jam.

"Other two what?" Sirius asked, feeling like he'd missed something.

Caradoc waved his hand in the direction of Remus's clinking and the sound of water running in the kitchen. "Potter, and Petticoat, everyone says the four of you were inseparable at school."

"Pettigrew." Sirius corrected, automatically. Caradoc had called Pete Petticoat since the first time they'd spoken, Sirius got the impression he didn't like Pete very much, or more likely found him a bit dull, but was unwilling to say anything against him because of Sirius's friendship. "James is at his flat, with Lily. And Pete is probably having his hangover nursed better by his mum if she's feeling up to it. Why?"

"I just thought you must have all crashed here –"

"Nah, just Moony."

Remus re-entered the room then, having miraculously found a tea tray and large pot in Sirius's lacking kitchen. He'd brought the glass milk bottle and torn lidded box of sugar cubes though, rather than decanting to jug or bowl. He also had a mug for Caradoc. He put the tray down on top of the upturned record crate and sat down in his chair.

"Thanks," Caradoc and Sirius said in unison. Sirius sent Remus an apologetic look, feeling like the interruption of their time together was his fault, even though Caradoc wanted to speak to Remus too. But Remus smiled and shook his head the smallest amount as if to say, 'it's fine.'

Caradoc caught the end of this little exchange, and looked between them suspiciously. Then he let out a short little laugh. "Oh riiight," he said, as if to himself. He poured his tea and sloshed a bit of milk into his mug and sat back against the sofa without further explanation. "Can't believe I missed that," he muttered, sounding genuinely surprised.

There was a sudden nervy flip in Sirius's belly as he realised that they were rumbled. Of course Caradoc would see it in a second, Sirius thought heavily. He'd somehow known of Sirius's inclinations without it even being spoken of. But before Sirius could deny it, or even decide if he wanted to deny it, because it wasn't like Caradoc of all people was going to be offended, Remus spoke.

"I only stayed here last night because my folks don't know I'm back yet," he said quickly, "my mother would have locked me up if she'd seen the state I was in when I got back to Headquarters, and I couldn't have just popped in and said hi and then left to go to the pub after six months away… that would be very rude."

"Oh right," Caradoc said again, with a completely different inflection, clearly amused by the lie. "You know you're an adult right? Your ma can't make you stay home."

"Have you met Remus?" Sirius asked with a forced grin, as he crushed down the tiny disappointment that Remus was so fast to conceal their relationship. It was so stupid, Sirius didn't want to tell anyone anyway! Caradoc was still looking bemusedly between the pair of them. "He'd rather be Crucio'd than commit the crime of intentional rudeness." Sirius expanded.

Remus raised an eyebrow. "No need to exaggerate, Pads." But then he seemed to think about it for a second anyway. "A well-placed stinging hex perhaps." He decided.

Sirius laughed properly, and Remus looked mildly embarrassed by his confession but shrugged it off as he asked Caradoc, "So what about Rhi? Did you find them?"

"Not yet," Caradoc said, "the trail went cold at the Wye in Wales, their tracks were clear as anything and then nothing discernable for miles in either direction on the opposite bank."

"Surely they wouldn't have stayed in the water too long," Remus said doubtfully, "even if it would throw off anyone trying to follow, it's too bloody freezing."

"That's what I thought," Caradoc agreed enthusiastically. "More like Rhiannon has got them covering their tracks. She's too clever by half."

"Is it just the boys with her?"

"No there were at least five in the group I was tracking," Caradoc replied, "like I said, it was easy, even with a bleary head and in the half-light this morning." Sirius wondered how he was able to tell anything at all from marks in the dirt. "They were definitely opting for speed over concealment," Caradoc added.

"And you think they're coming here?" Sirius said worriedly, just as Remus asked, "Any sign of Scabior or Brathiad following them?"

Caradoc answered Remus's question. "Nah, I was the only one, I think they were only a couple of hours ahead of me, and I don't think they'll come looking for you either," he said and with a glance at Sirius added, "They'd be better off to go up north and hide."

"They'll be going to France if Quinn has anything to say about it." Remus said grimly, "Poor kid reckoned his family would take him back in in a heartbeat if only he could reach them."

"The same family who left him to be raised by Greyback?"

"Yep." Remus seemed suddenly bleak. "I guess it's probably better for him to imagine that than know the reality."

"There would be logic in going to the continent…" Caradoc said, ponderingly, "much bigger forests to hide in, and if they got far enough south even the winter wouldn't be too nasty."

Remus shook his head. "They have no money for passage."

Sirius frowned. "Some of them have wands though? Why can't they just side-along? Dover to Calais is a pretty short jump."

"Pads, most of them were bitten before they came of age, most never had an apparition lesson, let alone passed the test, they live a pretty non-magical life."

"Oh." Sirius felt a little foolish for not realising this in the first place.

"Well whatever they do I'm sure Dumbles will be expecting me to find out," Caradoc put in.

"Probably," Remus said, sitting forward in his chair to pour another cup of tea, "I hope I get to do some normal Order stuff now."

"Plenty of deathly dull hedges that possibly have Death Eater hideouts behind them that need watching," Sirius said. He held out his cup for a refill too, and Remus obliged, even scraping a sugar cube in half so Sirius could have his tea just right.

"I'll see what Moody can rustle up for you," Caradoc said, still nursing his half-full mug in cold looking hands.

"Thanks. I should probably be heading off soon anyway," Remus said, as he sat back again. "Mum and Dad will be pretty pleased to know I'm back."

Sirius took his drink back from the makeshift table, realising that he didn't know what Mr and Mrs Lupin had been told about Remus's absence. "Where do they think you've been?"

"Ironically, in France, at the Wizarding University near Avignon. I'll just say I decided to come home for the winter break after all."

This was an oddly cruel cover story in Sirius's opinion. Remus had spoken often of his desire to further his education after Hogwarts, but no university would take a werewolf, even with his stellar exam marks. Sirius knew he'd even considered Muggle University, some magically forged A Levels and University Entrance would have done the trick. But that was before Voldemort had gotten a serious hold on wizarding Britain. All other plans were put on hold when Dumbledore had offered them a place in the Order of the Phoenix.

The moment the door closed behind Remus Caradoc turned to Sirius and shoved him hard in the shoulder. Sirius stumbled a few steps, unprepared because he'd been too busy dwelling on the fact that Remus had not said when he would be back, though at least he'd seemed reluctant to leave, dawdling for at least another half hour before he finally set off..

"I can't believe you didn't tell me!" Caradoc said indignantly, "Here I am passing love letters like a giant twat."

"I can't believe you didn't figure it out for yourself," Sirius said, righting himself, "and they weren't love letters, we were mates first, for seven years."

"That's why I didn't guess!" Caradoc said, "Actually, I reckon being gay blinds me a bit, people seem to think we have a secret way of knowing whether a guy is queer or not, but I don't, any blokes that seem a bit too close I immediately wonder if they're shagging, but I've been proved wrong so often I tend to ignore it now."

Sirius supposed that made sense. "But you knew I was," he said, remembering their early conversations back in October, "am I that obvious?"

"No …" Caradoc sat back down and hid his smirk in his tea cup. "Well, maybe to me."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Sirius demanded, remaining standing as a prickle of guilt made itself known in his stomach.

Caradoc shrugged. "As a general rule when a bloke gives me the glad-eye it means he's bent."

"I haven't!" Sirius defended at once, feeling distinctly warm in the face, because the minute he said it he knew it wasn't quite true.

"There's nothing wrong with looking, you great queen," Caradoc said, rolling his eyes at Sirius's embarrassment. "You're such a prude. Even my old ma used to say 'it doesn't matter where you get your appetite as long as you eat at home.' I don't think Remus would mind, one of the benefits of same sex relationships…" He wiggled his eyebrows lewdly. "You can perve together."

"Right," Sirius grumbled, taking his seat once more, "Merlin, you really know how to make me feel like an old woman."

"How flattering," Caradoc said sardonically.

"No, I mean you just say whatever you want." Sirius let out a heavy breath. He doubted half his acquaintances from school would even recognise this uncertain person he'd become, because he was nothing like the swaggering self-assured Sirius Black who'd entered that toilet on the Hogwarts Express. He looked back at Caradoc. "I used to be like that…" he said, more mournfully than he'd meant to.

Caradoc nodded his head in understanding. "Bit hard to be confident when there are only a couple people who know you're queer, it's a big part of you that's hidden away."

"Nah…" Sirius disagreed, "it's not that." He didn't know how to articulate that it had been his growing depression over Remus's absence – and mortal peril – that made him feel so different. He'd never worried about anything so much in his life. It was more difficult to get his head around the connotations of that, than whether or not he should be telling people he swung both ways. "I've never been in a relationship before." He tried to explain, feeling like an idiot. "My stupid luck that the first time I decide to give it a go he leaves on a dangerous mission less than twenty four hours later."

"I love how you manage to make relationship sound like a dirty word."

"Scary fucking word more like." Sirius chuckled. "Never would have thought." He shrugged, overwhelmed by the situation and wishing that his marijuana-laced hangover juice wasn't wearing off. "Anyway, the whole coming out thing isn't really a big deal. James is the only one whose opinion I care about, and he thinks I'm shagging you, and wasn't too fussed, and it's not like I'm going to be out at gay clubs dressed in leathers anytime soon, or ever…"

"That's a hideous cliché," Caradoc said, but he still smiled. "I didn't mean that being queer is all you are now, just that it does change the way you live. Only because when you date a man things are different, you have to be so conscious of your actions, careful about the places you go together, it sucks, big time, but it's the way it is."

"I'd never really thought about it," Sirius admitted. Because rather than realising he liked blokes in general, Remus had always been the focus of Sirius's sexual confusion, and that made everything so much simpler for him. "It must be hard for you…" He empathised.

Caradoc's serious expression faded as he cocked an eyebrow and smirked. "You know it."

Sirius gave a little snort and jogged Caradoc in the side. "You're terrible." He sighed happily. Caradoc really was an excellent stand in for James. He never failed to cheer Sirius up.

Caradoc chuckled, he shook two cigarettes from his packet and lit one, flicking the other in Sirius's direction. "Just like making you blush to be honest," he said, as he passed over a muggle lighter. He met Sirius's eyes for a moment, and a curious little flicker registered briefly before he blinked and looked away again.

Sirius lit his cigarette, not able to shake the feeling there was something more behind Caradoc's words at that moment, he knew him well enough now. He was always a flirt, but there was a difference this afternoon, he was watching the smoke curl from the end of his cigarette and he looked uncharacteristically sad. His knee brushed against Sirius's as he leaned forward to pick up one of the many record sleeves still strewn across the rug.

"This is a great album," he said, holding up the black and white cover of Sham 69's latest so Sirius could see, "I saw them you know, last year, they're fucking ace live. My ears were ringing for days."

"They're pretty brilliant," Sirius said, grateful not to have to mention the moment of awkwardness. "Was that in London? Me and James snuck out from his parents and went to their show in Manchester. Pretty rough crowd, but totally worth it."

"I forget you're so young." Caradoc tossed the record back onto the rug, scanning the others for something interesting.

"'Cause you're such a wise old man," Sirius scoffed, even though it was nice to know he didn't seem like a kid, despite feeling like one half the time.

"I'll be twenty five in March," Caradoc said, pulling a face. "I remember when I left Hogwarts I thought twenty seemed old, twenty five was practically ancient!" Sirius shrugged to show he didn't really care how old Caradoc was, he treated Sirius like an equal, that was good enough for him. "I don't feel any older at all," Caradoc went on, "just like I've seen more terrible stuff than I had before."

"Merlin you're right about that," Sirius agreed. "I thought the worst thing about joining the Order was going to be the fighting, knowing I could die at any moment you know? But it's not, as soon as the adrenalin's gone I forget that fear." Sirius paused, slightly nervous to admit his anxiety, but Caradoc just flicked his smoke and waited for Sirius to continue, so he did. "It's the dead people that get me," he confessed reluctantly, "it's like they just wait in my head until I'm just about asleep and then they ambush me, it's so disturbing. "

Caradoc nodded solemnly. "That's pretty normal. Edgar's girls are haunting me at the moment, I've never seen a dead kid before…" He looked just as Sirius felt, nauseated by the memory. "Gods it's a lot to ask sometimes, this Order gig," he muttered.

If Sirius had thought that admitting his unease would make it easier to bear, he was wrong. Knowing that Caradoc still suffered the same issues after four years in the Order – he was one of the first recruits – made Sirius feel worse. He'd hoped he would become used to it after a while, as gruesome an idea as that was. Used to seeing people he knew and respected murdered, often brutally attacked. He thought about what Remus had said back in the summer the night before he left for the field. Maybe they should just move to France, leave England to sort its own shit out… but what if Voldemort won? Wankers like Sirius's parents would be in charge then. He couldn't have that.

"Gotta do it though right?" Sirius said heavily.

"Yep," Caradoc said slowly, he took a drag on his cigarette and blew the smoke out in a low depressing whistle. "We'd have to get a real job otherwise."

"I wonder about that sometimes," Sirius said, as he reached out for Remus's empty mug to use as an ashtray. "What I would have done if there wasn't a war on."

"Lived a toff's life of leisure no doubt," Caradoc quipped at once, obviously sick of the disheartening conversation and aiming to lighten the mood. "Squandering your inheritance on smoking jackets and crystal stemware."

"I do love a good champagne flute," Sirius said, trying his best to emulate the sort of straight faced delivery Remus always seemed to pull off, but failed as he started to laugh. "Smoking jackets? Is that what you think the upper-class spend their money on?"

Caradoc laughed at his own joke too. "Buggered if I know, aren't they just a posh bathrobe?"

"Pretty much," Sirius said, "though with more tassels, my father had several. Didn't even smoke – should have called it his drinking-whiskey-and-shouting-at-Sirius jacket.

"That's depressing," Caradoc said with a sympathetic wince.

"Sorry, I forget people have parents who aren't complete bastards." Sirius grimaced, he hated to be pitied.

Caradoc seemed to understand this without being told. "You poor dear," he said, patting Sirius's knee patronisingly, and then added with mock sincerity, "no doubt you're a mess of emotional hang-ups and mummy issues."

"Absolutely riddled," Sirius said as seriously as he was able, "Thankfully I'm very good at repressing it."

Caradoc toasted him with his tea dregs and a curling lip. "A true British gentleman."

Sirius laughed as he stubbed his fag, and it hissed as it hit the tiny pool of liquid in the bottom of Remus's mug.

"So what's happening with Remus?" Caradoc asked out of the blue. "Is he living here until he goes back?"

Goes back? Sirius's heart seemed to stop dead and then kick up double time in a space of a second. "I don't think he is going back," he said, struggling to keep his voice steady.

Caradoc was oblivious to this minor meltdown. "His cover is still good," he said casually, "Greyback doesn't like him, but he doesn't think he's a spy either. So he could go back…" He trailed off, leaving Sirius with the most revolting sinking feeling.

It was supposed to be over, Sirius thought, trying to stay calm. Remus was home, he'd left the pack with a violent dismissal, surely Dumbledore wouldn't send him back. It would be too risky, they could lose the trust of all the wolves if he was outed as a spy, he would be in so much danger. Not to mention that Sirius would lose his fucking mind.

Unexpectedly, the sofa cushion beneath Caradoc suddenly spoke, its voice was muffled but loud in the quiet room. "Sirius Black?" it said, intruding on Sirius's rapidly building panic.

"What the fuck?!" Caradoc exclaimed, jumping sideways in fright. This reaction made Sirius chuckle despite his internal breakdown, and he reached under the cushion for his two-way mirror. It must have slipped from his jacket pocket when he'd discarded it during breakfast.

Caradoc looked on warily as Sirius rubbed the glass surface on his t-shirt to rid it of sofa tobacco and toast crumbs.

"Hey Prongs," Sirius said when the mirror was clean. Out the corner of his eye he could see Caradoc's impressed face, the two-way mirror was a pretty rare and useful thing to own.

"Who's swearing?" James asked, he sounded tetchy and glum, and Sirius didn't really need to wonder why. Dumbledore had been to visit, he'd probably given James orders to stay at home.

"Oh it's just Caradoc." Sirius grinned. "He thought the sofa was talking to him, jumped a mile."

"Are you at headquarters then?" James said, he frowned up at Sirius. "I thought you were off today."

"I am, we're at my place."

"Oh right," James said, this information only seemed to increase his bad mood. "Well if you can take a moment away from your boyfriend, I've got some pretty shit news."

"He's not my boyfriend," Sirius said, shocked by the nastiness in James's voice, "and I know about your news."

"You do? Dumbledore said it was a tip off, that he's only just got it."

"Yeah, from me," Sirius said. He'd assumed Dumbledore would tell James everything. "It was Regulus, he was outside my flat this morning, waiting to warn me. For my sake of course, but thank Merlin he did right?"

"You told Dumbledore and got me taken off duty?"

"Well, I guess, but I was more worried about you getting killed and shit," Sirius shot back, surprised to bear the brunt of James's anger. He had a right to be annoyed at the situation. But not at me, Sirius thought furiously. "I told Dumbledore because he's in charge we need all the information we can get right?" Sirius tried, a bit more calmly.

James looked righteously pissed. "Not when it gets me locked in my house!"

"Prongs mate, think about it - are you saying you want to be a specific target every time we're out and about? Reg said that the orders were to capture you and kill anyone with you on sight."

"They're always trying to kill us anyway," James snapped.

"No, actually, it turns out they're not," Sirius said, ignoring the little stab in his chest caused by James's lack of gratitude or concern for either of their safety. Sirius was going to be the one killed after all. "Regulus said they've been making exceptions for purebloods. Didn't you wonder why they never just AK'd us all those times? They want us left alive. But not anymore. "

James was silent, scowling up out of the glass. "Why didn't you just tell me? Since when do you go running to Dumbledore?"

Sirius felt his eyes widen with incredulity. "Since my best mate is on Voldemort's wanted list. Prongs, don't you get how bad this is?"

"I never thought you'd put rules before our friendship," he murmured angrily.

"Potter, you're being a right tosser about this," Caradoc put in bluntly. "Black did the right thing, you're not just going to get a detention for mucking about with something this. I'd pull my head in if I was you."

James blinked several times, apparently in shock to be told off. "Who does he think he is?" he said eventually.

Caradoc rolled his eyes and made a rude repetitive gesture with forefinger and thumb. "He says you're being a wanker," Sirius said to James, "and he's right. I'm sorry you have to stay in for a bit, but you do have two other options I'm aware of for leaving the house undetected, so maybe just suck it up." James didn't respond so Sirius continued. "Also think about what Voldemort might want in the Potter vault. I really don't want to fight with you, mate."

James all but pouted. "Fine," he said sullenly, "I just didn't expect it to be you. Get me on the mirror later if you have time, I'll be here." James vanished without another word, and Sirius turned to look at Caradoc.

"And you call me a queen," he said in shock. "Bloody hell. He's always been a bit prone to overreaction but that was extreme."

"Teenagers," Caradoc said with a tut. "I better be off anyway. I'm only running on an hour's sleep and too many beers last night are catching up."

"Fair enough," Sirius said, disappointed that he was going to be left alone, no doubt with James's pissed off voice on repeat in his head. Maybe he'd have some more Hudson's.

It was several hours after Caradoc had gone home that the Lupin family owl came tapping at Sirius's bedroom window to find him. He had decided to spend the afternoon napping because, well, why not?

To Sirius's great relief the old bird carried a short message from Remus that had him breaking out in secret foolish smiles for the rest of the evening.

Padfoot,

All is good at home, will come back to London in a few days – if you'll have me of course. I hope you will … I'd quite like to have you.

Moony.

~** End of Part Three **~