Chapter 10

Reba was a little bit distracted the rest of the day and a good part of the evening. She threw herself into cleaning and making dinner for her family to distract herself from thinking of Brock or anything that he may have said or anything Kyra said. She just wanted to forget about the day and focus on the date she was going on that night with John. He had mentioned a special surprise for her and she couldn't wait to know what it was. She had to admit it was a little strange to be getting surprises from him already. They have only been dating three weeks. She didn't want to dwell on the subject too much, Reba was positive he was only being nice and it was probably a small surprise anyway. He did tell her to dress casual.

Reba just needed to relax. It was Brock's fault. He put all these thoughts in her head. She needed to get him out of her head. Tonight she would. She would show everyone how far past on she has moved by having the best time of her life tonight. First thing was she had to figure out is what in the world she was going to wear?

Reba stared at herself in the full length mirror in her room. She was clad in jeans and button down silk shirt. He did say casual but it just didn't look right. Maybe it was the shirt. She turned to the closet and walked in to pick out a decent shirt for the night. Reba picked up a light blue cotton shirt and a long sleeve white one to go underneath. She quickly changed and stepped back in front of her mirror. It still didn't look right. She didn't feel right either, like she should just cancel the date but it was really too late. John was going to be there soon and she was sure what she was feeling was nothing.

Suddenly there was a knock at her bedroom door that snapped her out of her thoughts. "Come in." she said not turning from the mirror. Reba watched through the mirror as Kyra walked through.

"John is downstairs."

Reba sighed as she smoothed out her shirt. "He's early."

"Okay…" Kyra said with a pause. "Do you want me to tell him you'll be right down?"

Reba nodded and continued to check over her outfit. "Yeah, I'll be down in a minute."

Kyra nodded but she didn't leave. "You okay?" she asked as she watched her mother.

Reba turned around to face her daughter. "What does this look like?" she asked gesturing to her outfit. "What do I look like?"

Kyra gave her mom a friendly smile. "You look great, why?" she asked curiously.

Reba shook her head and began to go through her purse which rested on the bed. "I'm just nervous. I want to look nice."

Kyra raised an eyebrow. "Why would you be nervous? It isn't your first date with him."

"I know…" Reba said walking over to her vanity to put her compact mirror in her purse. "I'm just…my stomach is just…in knots. I don't know what is wrong with me."

"You sure it has nothing to do with dad?" Kyra asked sitting herself on her mother's bed.

Reba didn't meet Kyra's eyes. "What does your father have to do with this?"

"You might feel guilty, going out with another man while the one you love is sitting at home, alone."

Reba turned to glare at Kyra. "It is not guilt. I shouldn't feel guilty for going out with another man and trying to have a life."

Kyra smiled. "I noticed you didn't deny that you love him."

"Kyra!" Reba yelled in frustration. "I really don't want to get into this again with you. Now go downstairs and tell John that I will be downstairs in a moment."

Kyra nodded and got up to leave. She paused when her hand landed on the door knob and she turned. "I told dad and Barbara Jean when they separated they shouldn't just run away and not talk. You can't do that with dad again, not talking it out is what got us all here in the first place. I'll admit I am happy with the way it all turned out because then we wouldn't have Barbara Jean and Henry in our lives but if you and dad have a second chance you should at least talk. You can't run away from your feelings forever Mom." Kyra stayed for a second longer to see if she would receive any kind of response from her mother but she didn't. Reba just stood there, staring down at her purse. Kyra sighed and walked out of the room, shutting the bedroom door behind her.

Reba knew Kyra was right. She couldn't run forever. It certainly didn't help any to avoid but she felt she tried. She tried talking with Brock. She had tried to explain she wanted to be friends but he wanted to be more than friends. Reba…didn't know what she wanted. She was so conflicted and knew nothing of what to do. She admitted she had strong feelings for Brock but the idea of possibly going through what she went through four years ago frightened her a great deal. Reba didn't want to feel that way ever again. Sure, there was a good chance that if her and Brock were to reconcile that they would live the rest of their lives completely happy but there was also the chance that they wouldn't live happily and getting back together would be the biggest mistake of their lives and then everything and everyone would be even more screwed up than they were. Reba didn't know if she wanted to take that chance. She didn't know if she wanted to do that to her family.

Reba was brought out of her thoughts by a soft deep voice beside her. "Reba?"

She snapped her head towards John. "Sorry, what were you saying?"

John chuckled as he held out a bowl full of chocolate covered strawberries. "I was offering you a strawberry."

Reba gave him a strained smile and took one from the bowl. "Thanks." She said turning her attention back to the water before her. John had brought her to the beach for an evening picnic. It was a beautiful evening and a beautiful thought to bring her here, although she couldn't help but be distracted part of the evening.

"You seem distracted." John said as he watched Reba stare out at the water wash up to the shore back and forth. "How is your strawberry?"

Reba turned and gave a smile. "No thanks, I've got one."

John laughed and Reba gave him a puzzled look. "You really are distracted tonight."

Reba smiled and was quite disappointed in herself. "You set up this wonderful surprise and I am ruining it. I am from now on going to enjoy every minute of it." She gave an even bigger smile and took a generous bite of her strawberry.

John smiled and handed over a glass of champagne he had just poured. "Well…" he said smiling big as he picked up champagne filled glass himself. "This is not the only surprise."

Reba beamed and sat straight up. "It's not?" she questioned.

John shook his head. "Nope, I have one more surprise for you but that is for later."

Reba grinned and nodded. "Okay, for now…" she said scooting close to him. "We can just relax."

John smiled and wrapped a strong arm around her shoulders. Reba's smile faded a bit when his arm landed on her shoulder. It felt awkward and strange to be there. She shook the feeling off and decided to try and relax. The date was going well. Why spoil it?

Reba held onto John's hand loosely as they walked along the beach. It was a bit chilly and John had handed over his jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders. Even that was a bit awkward for her. She had attempted to have a good time tonight and not think of Brock or anything her daughter had said to her but it was very hard. It was getting harder and harder every minute but she felt terrible because John was being so sweet to her. He was attentive and very loving towards her but she still felt nothing.

She had tried so hard to move on with him but everything was different. Their first kiss was even bad. She felt no sparks, nothing, and it shocked her but it had made her happy as well, which was one thing she hasn't quite figured out yet. She expected fireworks. John was cute, sweet, smart, and she liked him. Why couldn't there be fireworks? It was Parker Reynolds all over again. Reba knew she couldn't go on like the way she was. She would have to break if off with John but how to do it was the problem. She didn't want to hurt his feelings but she knew she had to stop this.

Another problem what was going to happen once she did break up with John? It was obviously apparent that she still had feelings for her ex-husband. How would she deal with it? Was giving Brock another chance worth the risk to her family?

"Reba…" John said stopping. Reba turned, giving him a smile. "Taking risks is all apart of life and I believe without taking a chance you could miss out on something great."

Reba raised an eyebrow. "Huh?" Had she been talking out loud without realizing it? Did he hear everything? She was severely confused right now.

"I really like you." John continued. "I think what we have is wonderful and I want to be able to take care of you and I want to stay with you."

This was getting extremely uncomfortable for Reba. She gave John a strained smile as he took her hands into his and kissed the top of her knuckles. Reba shook her head as she stared at John in confusion. "You barely know me John."

John kept on smiling and held on tight to her hands. "I do know you. I love you. I want to marry you."

Reba's eyes widened and she pulled away roughly. "You don't love me. Like I said you don't know me. We have been dating for only three weeks. We are just learning things about each other."

John's smile faded. "I know plenty about you."

Reba placed her hands on her hips and glared at him. "Name one thing you know about me."

John smiled again, thinking this was going to be a piece of cake. "You're very loving. You care about your family. You always put them first."

Reba rolled her eyes. "A stranger could have known that in a minute. I'm about really knowing me. My hopes, dreams, how to hand my temper, my…favorite color or…the way I like my eggs in the morning!" He didn't know anything about her. The last three weeks he hadn't even bothered to truly get to know her.

John smiled. "Your favorite color is red and you like your eggs scrambled."

Reba raised an eyebrow and sighed. "Try blue and poached."

John rolled his eyes now. "So I don't know your preferred breakfast, big deal. That doesn't matter."

Reba shook her head. "It matters to me. Details matter to me." Details did matter to her, no matter how small or insignificant they were. There was only one person who knew everything small about her and she had sent him away that very afternoon.

"I can learn more about you. I am willing to learn because I love you."

Reba took a big step back away from John, not particularly liking their closeness. "You don't know me and you don't love me. Love doesn't happen that way. It's more than what we have. If we have anything, which I am sure we don't."

John looked at her with a hurt expression. "What we have is real. Why can't you see that? I can love you. No one can love you like I do."

Reba was getting a little frightened by his words. "Plenty of people love me."

John chuckled. "Like who? You're ex-husband?"

Reba felt her anger when he laughed. How dare he bring up and question Brock's feelings. "Yes!" she yelled. "He does and what Brock has for me is real. He knows me. You don't and I wish YOU would see THAT!" Reba took off his jacket and thrust it into his arms.

John sighed. "Reba…"

Reba shook her head. "I don't want to hear it. I want to leave. Take me home."

John relaxed his arms at his side but didn't make any move toward the car. "Just listen, please. Listen to reason."

Reba ignored him and started walking away. "No, I am leaving."

"Do not walk away from me!" he screamed angrily. He rushed up to her and pulled her around roughly, bringing her into a kiss.

Reba cringed when their lips touched. The kiss was just like all their others, awkward, sloppy, wet, and just disgusting. She felt like he was trying to swallow her face. Reba tried pushing him away but he was a little stronger than she was and so she did the only thing she could think of…she kneed him right in the…twins. John doubled over in pain and fell to the sand. Reba wiped off her mouth as she stared down at the man groaning in pain. "You just stay away from me John. The only time I should see you is at work and even then you need to make yourself scarce. Just stay away."

Reba walked back to the blanket and quickly grabbed her purse before she bolted. She ran as fast as she could away from him. Once Reba reached a street she stopped to see if John was following her. She was quite grateful to see no one. She slowed her pace and now she had to figure out how to get herself home. She didn't know exactly where she was but she was sure she could find a phone somewhere. Man, she picked the perfect night to forget her cell phone.

Reba sighed as she flopped down tiredly on a bus bench. Reba had no clue where she was going when she had started walking down the dark deserted road but she just kept on walking and soon found herself in downtown Houston. She had no clue how long she had walked. All she knew was that her feet were killing her. They felt like they were about to fall off. She had worn the wrong shoes for a long walk but of course she wasn't expecting John to go postal on her and propose, leaving her to walk home to try and get away from the crazy bastard but she might have to say she is even crazier because Reba had the sudden feeling to thank John.

Why did she want to thank John? Well, he made her realize with that one line about taking risks that maybe she needed to give Brock another chance. All of the events of today and tonight were replaying in her mind. She couldn't help but thinking of Brock's face when he had told her his feelings and when she had shot him down. He had looked so hurt and it killed her to do that and now she had to wonder if she did that for nothing. Did she want to risk it? Was she willing to work on a second chance with her ex-husband? Would he even take her back?

Reba looked up to the sky. "A little help would be nice." Reba said hoping in some way God might answer back but she doubted it. "What should I do?" she said still looking up to the sky. "If I get back together with him I could hurt my family but if I don't I could miss out on something good. I know what Brock is like when he is being sweet and serious. I miss that. I miss him." Reba wrapped her arms around herself as the chill of the night surrounded her in a gulf of wind. "I love him but I don't want to get hurt again. What should I do?" she asked, still unable to keep her eyes from the sky. "Can you send me some sort of a sign?" she screamed in frustration. Reba waited a few seconds before, expecting something but she got nothing. She let the tears fall as the night air seemed to chill her even more. What was she to do?

Suddenly Reba heard something that made her heart flutter with joy. "Reba?" Her head snapped up and she wanted to jump the man in the truck as he stepped out and came around to the side…and that's exactly what she did.

Reba jumped right at Brock and wrapped her arms around his neck, holding onto him tightly. "Are you okay?" he asked in concern. He had seen her sitting on the bench in tears and he immediately pulled over to see if she was all right.

Reba looked at him with a big smile on her face. "I am fine. I am just so happy to see you." She again pulled him close and this time she knew she would never let go. "I am so sorry Brock." She said into his chest. "I want you to know I am so sorry."

Brock removed her head from his chest and looked at her in confusion. "What are you talking about? Are you sure you're okay?"

Reba nodded and wiped the tears away from her face. "Yeah, I'm sure. Umm…" She stepped away from him, continued to try and make herself look presentable. "Can we go somewhere and talk? Somewhere private?"

Brock had agreed to talk with her. He was very concerned with the state she was in. She had obviously been crying, cold, and from what she said, starving. They had stopped off at a diner to grab a couple of burgers to go before heading someplace more secluded so they could talk without being interrupted or worrying someone would over hear their conversation. Brock had no idea where they could go but Reba did. She immediately directed him to a place they both knew well. A place they both visited often during their marriage. It was a cliff surrounded by trees over looking downtown Houston. A lot of teenagers could be found there on a Friday or Saturday night and it was the very spot where Brock and Reba first told one another that they loved each other. It also just happened to be the place where Cheyenne was conceived but that was just a side note.

Brock sighed and set down the empty box that once held his burger and fries. They were both sitting on the flat bed of his truck, their feet dangling off the edge. Reba was sitting close to him, sipping at her soda, having finished her meal much earlier. She wasn't kidding when she said she was starving. They had eaten in complete silence. Brock didn't want to push or pressure her into telling him what had happened tonight. He had a feeling that something big happened and if he found out that John had hurt her in anyway…he wouldn't kill him but John was going to wish he was dead by the time Brock got through with him.

Reba turned to him and gave Brock a big smile as she wrapped the jacket Brock had loaned her around her more. "Thanks for the jacket. I was quite cold. I made the mistake of leaving my jacket at home alone with my cell phone in it." Brock nodded and quietly sipped his soda and patiently waited for Reba to tell him exactly why he brought them here of all places. "It's a beautiful night." She said looking out onto the city.

"Yup." Brock said with a smile. "Lovely night."

Reba nodded. "A lot of fond memories here." She said turning to him with a smirk on her face.

Brock looked at her in surprise. That was something he never expected her to say and he couldn't help but chuckle before responding, "Yeah, lots of very good memories."

Reba kept her smile and turned back to the beautiful city lights. She wanted to bring Brock here because she knew it would be the perfect spot to tell him. God had answered her by sending Brock. He wanted them together as well. The way they were supposed to be. Reba now understood that of course there would be risks and there would be doubts between them but if they were both willing to work and love one another like they used to it was bound to last forever and Reba was going to make sure that happened.

"I don't mean to pry or pressure you but what happened tonight?" he asked softly. He hoped it was nothing serious.

Reba had to laugh and she turned her head to Brock. "John proposed."

Brock's eyes widened. "He what?"

Reba nodded. "He said he had a surprise for me tonight. It started off all normal. He picked me up and we had a nice ride to the beach where he surprised me with an evening picnic. We had some champagne and strawberry's before we decided to take a short walk down the beach where he proceeded to tell me that he thought what we had was a good thing and that he loved me and he wanted to marry me."

Brock was shocked a bit. He knew Reba was a wonderful woman but weren't they only dating for three weeks? "What happened after that?"

Reba sighed and took a sip of her soda to clear her dry mouth. "I told him he didn't know me and that it's only been three weeks. He said he was willing to learn but I told him love didn't happen that way and he knew nothing. He wasn't even truly trying." Reba sighed. "We had a few words with each other before I finally stomped away. He then pulled me back, kind of roughly too," she said rubbing her arm slightly. "And then he forced a kiss on me."

"I knew I didn't like that guy. I'm going to hurt him if I ever see him again. "

Reba smiled. "Well, you and Van seem to know when a guy is wrong for me and there is no need to hurt him. I already did." Brock looked at her with a look of question. "I kneed him in the…" she said trailing off, knowing Brock would catch on.

And he did. Brock sucked air through his teeth and jokingly turned himself away from her. "Remind never to get on your bad side."

Reba laughed and pushed him slightly. She then sighed and looked at him with a sweet smile. "I know you would never do what he tried to do."

Brock took her hand and squeezed it tight. "I don't like that he almost…that he…I would have hurt him if he did."

"He would have never gotten that far. I would have hurt him too." She said smiling. "But what happened with John is not what I really want to talk about right now. I mean, he did sort of help with what I am about to say but other than that this has nothing to do with him or what happened and I want you to know that. Are we clear?" she said making sure he knew her decision had nothing to do with the events of that evening. The only help John had in her decision was him saying risks were all apart of life and that was the truth.

Brock nodded. "I understand."

"Good." Reba said with a smile. "Now I am going to talk and if you want to chime in anytime, please do because I want to know what you think and I want to know what you feel." Brock nodded his heart beating faster with every second. He didn't know what she was going to say but he was hoping it was what he thought. "Okay…" she said holding on tight to his hand. "I have been going through my mind day in and out of what to say to you whenever this subject came up. I kept telling myself that we couldn't happen again, that our marriage or any relationship between us besides being friends was over. I was so hurt when you left me. I couldn't get out of bed most of the months during our separation. I was literally sick with grief over what happened between us. I wanted nothing more than to work it out with you but when you told me you had to marry Barbara Jean I was crushed. I felt so betrayed and just completely…hurt." Reba looked up into Brock's eyes and she could tell that he was ashamed of what he had done. "I didn't want to feel that way again. I like my career and I like taking care of my family. I like not having to wash your dirty underwear." She said jokingly and then she got a little more serious. "I like my life without." She said. Brock felt his heart breaking all over again as he heard those words. "But I LOVE my life with you." She said a smile forming on her face. Brock looked up at her and he couldn't help but feel pure joy. Reba continued on. "I love going to sleep next to you. I love waking up with you. I miss your hugs and kisses. I miss you." She paused catching her breath and trying to form new words. "I wasn't willing to take any risk for my heart being broken once more but it was tonight I realized that without any risks I would be missing out on something great. We had wonderful times together and I believe that we can have those wonderful times once more. I know that there are no guarantees in life and there might be a time when we both or one of us will want to get out but I really want to work on this and I really want another chance."

Brock sighed and turned back to the lights in the city. Now it was his turn. "February 23, 2001."

Reba was confused. "I am sorry but I don't recall that date and I am usually the one who remembers all the important birthdays and anniversaries." She said with a chuckle.

Brock didn't laugh though. "That night we had a BIG fight. The biggest one I think we ever had before the next morning when I left." Reba's smile faded and she nodded in remembrance to the fight. "That night I left after the fight. I went the bar to vent with Jim about…well…you." Reba nodded. She wasn't sure where he was taking this and it worried her that he had yet to answer her about her chance. Did she come to him to late? "I came home and it was dark. The kids were in bed and so were you. I was crushed when I went upstairs to the bedroom. You were already asleep and I had seen the tears streaked along your cheeks. I was still angry with you but I didn't mean to make you cry and it hurt me because you usually would wait for me to come home in the living room or you would leave a light on in the living room and you would be awake upstairs but nothing. I came into a dark home and you were already asleep. You always had this thing about not going to bed angry. You basically wouldn't allow it but it crushed me to think that you did go to bed angry and I just felt like you were giving up. I realize that it was one of the biggest mistakes of my life to just go to sleep without waking you and act like nothing was wrong and being the jerk that I was the next morning. I told you this because I want you to know that I will never do that again to you. I won't ever give up. I won't hurt you again. I will make sure of that."

Reba grinned. "That was some speech." She said breaking the silence.

Brock shook his head and chuckled. "Well, I had to come up with something after what you said."

Reba laughed and intertwined her fingers with his and staring down at their links hands. "I was afraid that you weren't going to give me another chance."

"I would be an idiot if I did that." Reba raised her head and smiled. "I had to restrain myself from kissing you."

Reba smiled and moved her face closer to his. "What is stopping you?" she said in a low sultry voice.

Brock smiled and immediately cupped her face, pulling her into a deep kiss. Reba immediately kissed back but she didn't pull away after a few seconds. She let the wildfires burn between them. Reba wrapped her arms around his neck to pull him even closer to her but Brock stopped her and pulled away. "Hey." She said disappointed. "Why did you stop?"

"I think we need to take this slow, don't you?"

Reba pouted and nodded a bit, turning back to the lights of the city. "I guess." She said even more disappointed then before. Since when did Brock want to take it slow? This was the same guy who tried to put the moves on her on their first date twenty seven years ago. Reba looked to Brock and he gave her a smile before wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her close. Reba liked this but…she really didn't want to wait. Life didn't have any guarantees and she did love him. She took only a moment to decide before she grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him into a kiss.

The door burst open of a room at Motel 8 so two people who were currently in a heated lip lock could enter. Reba had quickly changed her and Brock's mind about slowing down once she had pulled him into another kiss. That kiss had quickly heated up and Reba immediately said they needed to find some place to go…quickly. Brock's place seemed too far for Reba and her house was out of the question considering their children were more than likely there. Reba saw the motel sign less than half a mile once they left the cliff and the fact that it was probably the only motel that still had check in this late made it perfect.

Brock broke the kiss to catch his breath and he stepped away from Reba for a moment. "Are you sure you want this? I mean…are you ready?" he asked, not wanting to pressure her into anything.

Reba couldn't help but chuckle. "Well this is certainly new."

"I just want to make sure you're ready for this. I know you and…"

Reba shut him up with a kiss on the lips before breaking it. "I am ready for this. Are you?" she asked jokingly.

"You know I am always…"

"Then don't worry." She said smiling. "I'll be gentle." She added in a whisper. Brock chuckled and brought her back into a sweet kiss. Reba wrapped her arms once more around his neck. She moaned against his lips and moved her hands to the ends of his shirt to pull it over his head but she was stopped once more by Brock. "What is wrong now?" she asked her hands on her hips in annoyance.

Brock sighed and ran his hand through his hair. He wanted her so badly but he wanted to make sure she was sure. "Are you sure you want to do this here? You are not the motel girl type."

Reba rolled her eyes and stepped forward. "Brock I love you and I want you but if you are not sure than maybe we shouldn't. We can leave." She said stepping towards the door. Brock stopped her and pulled her back. Reba smirked. "I thought so." She said smugly.

"I just wanted to make sure you wanted this."

She sighed and pulled by his shirt over to the bed. She stopped until the back of her knees hit the bed. "I am absolutely sure. Now no more stopping or we will leave. Now come here." She said pulling him into a kiss. They both groaned against each other's lips as they fell back onto the bed.

Sometime later they both were tangled up in the sheets and in each other as they faced each other, smiling in content. Reba couldn't think anything could get any better now. Her night hadn't started out so well but the end of it was certainly something to remember. She and Brock were together once again and she couldn't ask for more. It had been perfect, being with him, it had been just as it always was. Reba was a little sad though, they had wasted four years of being apart but they were definitely going to make up for it now.

"You know…" Reba said cuddling up to him and wrapping one arm around his neck. "I like your hair long." She said running her fingers through it.

Brock smiled placing a loving hand on her hip. "Really?"

Reba nodded. "Really…" she said smirking. "It gives me something to hold onto." Reba and Brock chuckled and Reba gave him a deep kiss on the lips and then cheek before moving closer and wrapping her leg around him, pulling him closer. "I miss this so much."

Brock smiled and drew little circles on her bare back. "I miss this too." He said looking at her deeply. Man did he miss her. It had been almost five years since he made love to her and it had drove him insane to be the gentleman and make sure she wanted what he wanted before continuing. His life had been going on a rollercoaster since he got married to Barbara Jean, not that she had anything to do with it. He just wasn't happy when he wasn't with Reba but right now he was extremely happy. "You are so beautiful." He said tenderly running a hand down her curve.

Reba smiled and looked at him curiously. "How do you that?"

"Do what?" he said, moving his hand to her face and caressing it gently.

"Look at me like that, like you haven't seen me everyday for past twenty seven years?"

Brock shrugged and caressed her arm gently. "I just…love you and…miss you. I missed us."

Reba giggled. "Yeah, me too." She said.

He smiled at her and kissed her gently before going back to caressing her arm. Brock sighed and he felt a pain in his heart when he caressed the spot that held bruises that resembled finger prints. He noticed that when he had taken off her shirt. He was ready to leave and go find John and severely hurt the man. "I hate that he did this to you. I want to hurt him."

Reba looked at his hand that was caressing the bruises and shrugged. "Let's not worry about him. John is gone and away from me for now." She said looking back at him with a smile. "Let's worry about us and concentrate on right now." She said before bringing him into a kiss so they could resume their love once more.

For a while all that mattered to Reba and Brock were each other. They couldn't get over the fact that they were back together. It was both a dream come true for them and for a while they didn't notice anything but one another and that was too bad because then they would've noticed the slit in the curtain that if someone were to step right up to the window they could see everything and someone certainly did.

I felt my anger boil over as I watched them together. I had followed them and I couldn't believe my ears when I heard she had taken him back. I am sure he had some influence over her decision and I thought it would be okay. I would talk to her or send her something. I thought I had to do something to stop this. I had to hold myself together when they kissed. I thought I would see her after he dropped her off at her home but they didn't go to her house. They went to a cheap motel. How dare he take her there! If I had her I would have taken her to a nice place with roses and wine, something romantic. I wouldn't bring her here and I am certainly not going to just leave her here alone. I had to stay. I had to watch and make sure he didn't hurt her but I am angry that I did. I had to endure the couple of hours they had made love. I had cringed and held back as I watched her moan with pleasure at his touches. I had clenched my fists when I saw her smile as she rolled over to straddle him. It was so degrading to her and I knew it. How she could let him touch her? I wanted to burst through the door and pull her away from him but I knew it was still too early. She wouldn't understand just yet. I knew she loved me. This was as close as I would get for now, caressing the window that held her captive from me but soon I would be able to hold her the way that man who broke her heart was and she would appreciate my hugs and kisses more than his. She would know what real love was once she was with me. For now I would have to step up my game. I would have to show her how much I cared. I am not letting her go…never. I knew I couldn't stand here forever. They would soon be leaving and I needed to go before they saw me. I had to look into the window one last time though. I closed my eyes so I could imagine I was the one holding onto her and making her scream like that. I opened my eyes to get one last look at my sweet angel before saying a quiet goodbye.

End of Chapter