Experiment 1-958-2-005-752

Cycle 006:1307
Console Camera 2D-T2

"Personal log, uh—hang on, it's log four.

Yeah, I fucked up. I fucked up so bad. Concussions are not fun. Painkillers are, concussions aren't. I probably shouldn't get another. As it is, I'm probably out of most action for at least another week, depending on how badly I took the hit. I'm a lot more coherent now, but that's not saying too much. I've been going through the camera recordings from my room, and I was apparently really fucking loopy for a while there. Not helping me much. On the other hand, drugs are good! Drugs make you forget you can't do things, and I did a thing. Several things, actually.

One is making a plan. I should really go over my plan, because I made it while tripping on all the drugs. Kiddies, never follow a plan on drugs until you double check it to make sure that step five isn't kissing the little grey pegasus. It's probably not a good plan. I've got something like fifty or sixty pages of notes, diagrams, and ideas written down that I kept from the past few days, which has to be a record for me.

The other thing is in regards to that little pegasus comment. Apparently, while I was on all the drugs, I somehow made up with off-brand Siri, and discovered that she was in fact incredibly useful. Hell, she's actually some kind of learning program, or an outright AI. I taught her. Not programmed, outright taught her. And she can move around my crippled, vertigo-suffering ass herself, since her primary function is automatic suit guidance. I've got to do some work to see what she's really capable of. And I named her, because I was loopy, and had muffins on the mind. Say hi, Derpy."

Derpy: "Salutations?"

"Yeah. Like that. I know I taught you to be respectful, and be the best disabled-idiot friend in the whole universe, but did I teach you anything else?"

Derpy: "I am a guidance and assistance AI."

"Like… anything-anything, or just user preferences and actions? Did I teach you to refer to yourself in the first person?"

Derpy: "I am capable of learning anything in regards to helping my user complete EVA tasks and functions, guidance, and other tasks related to work efficiency."

"So, yes-maybe-sort of?"

Derpy: "I am unclear as to what you mean. Please specify."

"Like—say, controlling an army of remote drones, or performing small-talk, or remotely coding for me, or, I don't know. Anything I need to enhance my 'work efficiency'?"

Derpy: "Potentially."

"I have a no-good, terrible, ultra-bad awful, most vile and excellent idea."

Derpy: "I have been taught by you to dissuade you when you describe plans as 'no-good, terrible, awful.' For your safety. Please do not attempt this 'no-good, terrible, ultra-bad awful, most vile and excellent idea.' Your health may be in danger."

"I'm going to try the plan. Later. So, yeah. I have that. I guess I could do some of the work now, since I have a way to get me out there safely with an MMU. And I can make sure I have absolutely no choice in the matter. Excellent. End log."

*Uh-oh.*

*Cultural References:
Derpy: As before, Derpy is a fictional grey pegasus character from a mimetically popular show. The subject's referential change of name for his EVA suit has caused him to more often reference her in response, and the subject may intend to influence the suit AI in order to remodel the personality matrix to match. Analysis is underway to weaponize this potential personality to prevent an escape attempt.

'Tripping on Drugs': A cultural phrase, referring to the period of altered mental state caused by imbibing pharmaceutical or recreational drugs.*

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Cycle 006:1705
Camera 3XA-1

*Subject spent the next 0400 of a cycle working with the suit AI further to prepare for a Space walk. Apparently, the subject intends to take advantage of his altered mental state from his injury to get through the initial trauma with as little resistance on his part as possible. Situation is now far from all expected scenarios. After a period of hyperventilation, the subject entered airlock 1 on deck 3 and shut the inner hatch behind him after donning his helmet and engaging vacuum seals. Vital biosigns promptly rose to near catastrophic levels as all stress indications spiked to their maximum.*

"Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh jesus Christ, ooooooooo-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiikkk."

*Subject opens the outer doors after the depressurization cycle, then leans out as the doors open. Subject looks downwards into the gravity field, and vitals rapidly spike even higher.*

"OH GOD, I SHOULD NOT HAVE LOOKED DOWN!"

*Subject jerks backwards from the outer doors and curls partially into a fetal position as he hyperventilates in place while looking over his knees towards open space having backed himself up against the inner doors. The hazard alarms begin lighting in the airlock as the Spacepost registers a prolonged opening of the outer doors putting the inner seals at risk. Subject scrapes at the deck plating in his attempts to move further away from the hazard in clear maximum distress.*

"Derpy, I want back inside now! Now-now-now-nownownownownownowNOW!"

Derpy: "I cannot comply, Mr. Rich. Stand by for automatic maneuvering."

"What? No! No I don't want to OH GOD OUTSIDE!"

*At this time, the suit AI engages automatic thruster controls and moves the subject out into open space along the #8 solar array while keeping him far enough away from it to keep him from grabbing on in a panic reaction. Subject flails wildly towards it in his panic, failing to grab on as he is piloted to the end of the array. There, the suit AI begins slowly rotating him to fully take in the full sphere of Space.*

Derpy: "Mr. Rich, do you want to look at space?"

"NO! No I do not!"

Derpy: "Please look at space. You wanted to look at space."

"No I do not! I'm stupid and come up with stupid ideas, and I really don't want to be out here!"

Derpy: "You will not acclimatize to space if you do not look at space."

"That's a problem for future me! Right now I want to go back inside before I—before I—"

*Subject passes out at this juncture due to the stress of being in open Space. His suit automatics return him to the station at this point to minimize further trauma done.*