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Disclaimer applies: Still dreaming

Chapter Ten

It wasn't a peaceful sleep, but I didn't have nightmares either. It felt empty, just like me. If I had had any dream, it mainly consisted with the pain I knew I had to be in. Laurent had bitten me again and I knew I had to be dying or changing. Whichever took me first. The smell of where ever Jacob had taken me smelled greatly of vanilla and flour. It burned slowly down into my lungs. I wished someone would open the window and let fresh air in. My head felt dizzy from the scent.

"Bella?" I heard Jacob speak softly. "You up?" I slowly opened my eyes and faced him. He was still wearing his cut off shorts and he smelled different. It was still musky, but something else...I couldn't quite my finger on it, but it was closer to vingar. He leaned in the doorframe, his arms folded across his chest. I tried to smile, but felt my body seize up as a wave of pain wash over me.

In an instant he was by my side, the back of his hand on my forehead. Was he...taking care of me? Huh?....Change of pace couldn't hurt. With his other hand he gently held my left. His skin was very warm against mine.

"You're getting colder. How are you feeling?"

"Like a semi just ran me over." I mumbled. "What time is it?"

"Seven P.M." He spoke. "On Thursady. You're a heavy sleeper." My eyes widen. How the hell did I sleep that long?

"Charlie?" I asked. Fearing the worst possible scenario.

"Freaking out." Jacob said without emotion. "He has half the state of Washington out looking for you." I wanted to cry. "There are even news reporters! The whole state is looking for you." I groaned out loud. Why did all the bad luck follow me? I looked back up at Jacob and then I thought about the night in the meadow. How strange he acted?

"What was with the wolves?" I asked him out of the blue.

"Maybe later." He said quickly. "I'm already in trouble for bringing you to Emily's. "

"Huh?" He was not making any sense. Though I should have guessed. Most guys have secrets. It just meant I had to figure out what his was. After I figured out what mine was.

"Sorry..." He smiled. "I know it's confusing. I don't mean for it to be." I nodded.

"You know if you tell me it wouldn't be." He chuckled. I would have it I hadn't been in pain.

"True, but I have rules to follow. I'm not supposed to tell you."

"No hints." I tried to pout. I knew I'd fail. I probably looked like a train wreck. He shook his head and sighed.

"Let's just say that you already know what it is. You just need to remember." What kind of hint is that! I had wanted to shout at him, but I groaned as another wave of burning pain washed over me.

"Is it getting any worse?" He added. "Emily and I tried our best to clean out your wounds and wrap them. Your shoulder needs stitching though. Its pretty deep." I turned my head and saw my entire right arm covered in gauze. There were red splotches everywhere. "Though we're more worried about that bite. Shouldn't you be agonizing pain? That's what normally happens, right?"

"When has normal ever been apart of my life?" I retorted. "And yes, I should be in more pain. I shouldn't be able to speak to you this calmly. Something happened the first time I was bitten that changed everything." Jacob growled.

"What do you mean the first time?"

"Oh! Yeah." I tried to fake another smile. Though this was Jacob. He could see through me like a Windex cleaned glass. "I was bitten last summer. Remember when I left for Phoenix?" He nodded. "A vampire named James bit me." I looked up at the ceiling. "It was the worst pain I had ever felt."

"But you didn't change?" He cocked his head to the side.

"He saved me. He sucked the venom out of my blood and it worked. Except I believe the venom soaked into my skin around the bite and infected me. That's why it so different." He nodded slightly. I could tell he wasn't happy. Couldn't blame him...it's not every day that your friend tells you she was bitten by a vampire...hey!

"Hey!" My eyes lit up. "How did you know about the vampires?" He raised his eyebrows and inhaled slightly.

"It's part of that long story that I can't tell you. You're just going to have to remember." He snapped. I ignored the pain I was in and sat up. I grinded my teeth together and clenched my fist tightly. Jacob was at the door in a second. "What! Now you're angry." I didn't speak. I merely got to my feet and stood in front of him. I wasn't going to lay here taking every little hint from him, while I poured my heart out. I hated double standards and he really was pissing me off. He crossed his arms and stood firm.

"You're not leaving."

"Yes I am." I growled back.

"And where do you plan on going?"

"Anywhere away from you." The two of us just stared at each other. His muscles twitched violently as he struggled to keep his breathing calm.

"So... this is what I get for saving you?" I shook my head no.

"This is what you get for being a jerk." I retorted. "Get out of my way Jacob. I want to leave." I tried to put enough feeling behind it so I could believe it myself. My strength was being held together by dental floss. "I am very grateful that you saved me from Laurent and if I haven't said it Thank you. Though this rudeness and snappiness. I don't like it. Second of all...I'm probably changing and if I am, this is the last place I should be. I have to get away from humans. I'm dangerous. I don't want to hurt you." He lowered his eyes to think my words over and then slowly nodded.

"Where will you go?"

"Somewhere deep in the woods." I shrugged. "I don't know. Where ever it is no one will find me." He slumped against the wall and I knew I had won, not that it wasn't hard mind you. I could see sadness in his eyes.

"You'll come find me when this is all over? I know you right, but I'll still worry about you."

"I'll try." I lied. Jacob slowly moved out of my way and I quickly left the house without another word to him. My mind was completely focused on trying to move one foot in front of the other. Every step, I could feel the weight thirty tons being thrust upon my shoulders.

It was quiet outside and though there was still snow on the ground, I felt little need to wear a coat. I trudged up the road towards the woods. Thinking about how crazy my life had turned and still no sign of the Cullens. Maybe I could try again to spark a vision in Alice. I looked back down a side road off in the distance. I wasn't that far from First Beach and I knew it had high cliffs. Maybe if I.... jumped? Would it work? How could I even tell? Alice should have seen Laurent attack me?

"What the hell?" I said to myself and headed towards the beach. What else was there for me to lose? If they didn't come to help me, the rocks at the bottom could. I tried to focus on myself preparing to jump off one of the high cliffs, possibly one with plenty of rocks at the bottom. I imagined me diving head first into the frigid icy water. It had to work or else...it would be the end of me.

The wind blew fiercely in my face in the night, though the bite of the cold wind didn't affect me in the least. I stood on the edge of the tallest cliff on the beach. I looked down and stared at the black waves rushing over the rocks. I wondered.... if I didn't survive. Would someone find me down there? Would I feel any pain? Would I even die? I inched closer to the edge and stood firm. The wind against my body made my pain tolerable. I closed my eyes and tried to envision the face of the one I loved. His crooked smile, his cold breath on my cheek.

"Goodbye my love." I whispered as I leaned forward to toss myself off the edge.

"NO!" I heard a voice cry out and suddenly a set of sturdy arm wrapped them selves around my waist. They pulled me closer and held me close to what felt like cold marble. "Don't Bella." I heard its voice sob. "Don't do this." It was familiar like one from a dream. I turned quickly and faced sad amber eyes.

"Esme."

Ah Ha! Ten Chapters and we finally have a Cullen. You all weren't expecting that were you!

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Lil~Rahl