A/N: Finally. Chapter 10. First off, I'd like to thank all my readers for your support so far! It is something of a milestone isn't it? 10 chapters? Hehe.
I truly apologize for the late update. A mixture of writer's block and procrastination has really held me back. I hope that I haven't lost too many of my readers. :( The good news is, during this downtime I've thought a lot about this story and I have a clearer picture now of the final act, so hopefully this will give me the momentum to churn chapters out! Haha. I know this chapter is kinda short. I was originally gonna write this whole long scene thing with everything happening in one chapter, but after further consideration, I decided to split it into two chapters. I'll release the next chapter by next week, I promise!
Also, you might have noticed that Tears of a Titan has a brand spanking new cover art. :D That's all thanks to Shrapnel893! Nice work man, thanks a bunch. :) Go check out his fic : Titanic Gateway! He deserves more readers. He takes requests for art too, so if you want a cool cover for your fic, you can ask him!
Advertisement : Go read Losing Control by HighQueen. Best Mikaere fic out there. Go. Read. Me beta that fic. You read. Me happy.
Chapter 10 - Tools
"Why is Christa unconscious? You bastard!" Ymir said with a scowl on her face.
Bertholdt sighed and glanced over at the girl with eyes that were calm yet heavy with the weight of responsibility. "When she knew that you were there, she started to get… too anxious."
"You fucking bastard!"
"I didn't really hurt her. The last thing we want to do is hurt her. Trust me."
Ymir went silent, but she never stopped glaring at him with a gaze that oozed with contempt. She was not the only one to do so. Mikasa stood right behind Ymir on Reiner's right shoulder, the tenseness in her stance a reflection of the wariness she held for the other people in their small group. They'd picked up the newcomers along the way and were now heading out of the forest as quickly as Reiner's remaining strength allowed.
"Give her over." Ymir reached a hand out towards him, her free hand clutching onto Reiner's pale white hair for balance.
"Stay back," Bertholdt replied, his fingers curling around the grip of the hardened steel blade at his hip. "Why did Reiner bring you along? And you?" He pointed a finger at Mikasa. "Our only goal was to capture Eren."
Mikasa scowled when he mentioned the name of her beloved. "You have no right to say his name," she said. Her voice was calm, but her threatening words bore more malice than any shout or scream could have hoped to carry. "If Reiner is the armored Titan, that makes you the Colossal."
"You're right."
"After all that Eren's done for me, you destroyed his-" Mikasa clenched her fists so hard that her fingernails dug painfully into her skin. "No. You destroyed our family. And you've known it all along. All these years. Eren told you didn't you? How did that make you feel?"
Bertholdt unconsciously took half a step back, the intensity of Mikasa's gaze so fierce that it almost felt like she could strangle him with just her thoughts. "When he told me that a Titan ate his mother because of what I did," he said slowly," I felt sorry for him."
"You pitied him?"
"Yes."
"The only reason you're still alive right now is because I need to find Eren."
"The prince goes to save his princess," Ymir said dryly. "Oh, sorry. I mean the princess goes to save her prince. What a useless prince."
"Just like how you let them take Christa?" Mikasa ducked her head to avoid a low-lying branch as Reiner continued to press onward. Ymir turned to face her with a cold, hateful expression etched onto her face.
"You're a Titan too. You're just the same as them. Don't think for a second that we are allies just because we have a common enemy," the oriental girl said.
"Mikasa the stone cold killer." Ymir smirked.
"So that's why Reiner brought you. You're a shifter," Bertholdt said. "And what about Mikasa?"
The two girls did not deign to reply to him.
"We're both the same you know? You and Eren. Me and Christa. I'm sure even someone with a single track mind like you can see that we can help each other out," Ymir whispered so that Bertholdt could not hear her.
"I will find Eren and I will protect him." Mikasa exuded an air of hostility that even the ever-cocky Ymir found unnerving. "I don't care how much blood I must spill."
"Stupid obsessive bitch. Though I can't say that I don't understand."
A chilling cry interrupted the conversation, and they looked down to see a number of Titans running after Reiner, snapping at his heels. So far there were only small Titans - all of them under 10 meters - but they could see a few much larger Titans in the distance. The small Titans at Reiner's feet chased tenaciously, sometimes stumbling in the overgrowth or over logs and other obstacles, but always getting back up and continuing to run mindlessly towards their target.
"Why is Mikasa here?" Bertholdt asked again.
"Cos she has to save her boyfriend. What do you think?" Ymir answered him in a snide manner.
"Ymir! You want Christa to be safe don't you? We want it too. That makes us allies, doesn't it? So tell me."
"That remains to be seen." Ymir flexed her fingers threateningly.
"Is Mikasa a shifter too?" he asked.
"Even better. She's bloody immortal."
"What do you mean?"
"Apparently, Eren turned into a miniature Titan and he thought it was a good idea to start feeling Mikasa up and give her a love bite. Let's just say he's not known for being gentle," Ymir said as she pointed at her own neck.
"I don't know why that happened." Mikasa rubbed her shoulder where the wound had been. "I just know that I'm not one of you."
"She didn't regenerate like us?" Bertholdt shifted his feet so that he could balance better on his perch.
"If you mean if she started steaming like a boiling kettle, then no. It was magic."
Berholdt's eyes widened for a moment, and then he averted his gaze.
"You look like you know something," the freckle-faced girl noted.
"Yes. It makes sense now."
"What does?"
"This whole farce," he said bitterly.
In the farmhouse, Eren sat quietly by himself, his back turned on Annie. The girl was sleeping now, her low, wheezing breaths punctuating the silence with a soft, peaceful rhythm. Eren got to his feet and walked over to the slumbering girl. He squatted down in front of her and stared intently at her face. Was this really the face of a murderer? He kept telling himself that she was one of the reasons that so many people had died, but he found it hard for him to reconcile that fact with the seemingly frail girl in front of him. Memories of all those years together with her in the trainees' squad came to his mind unbidden.
"You were always alone. Does that mean that you at least had the good grace to feel ashamed?" he muttered. He saw the bruises that he'd left on her neck and cringed. Strangling her was a violent act to do to another human being, even for him.
She's not a human though. She's scum, he thought to himself, but it didn't make him feel any better. Maybe I am a monster after all. I killed Elizabeth and Klaus. I killed Mikasa. And I almost throttled Annie to death. I almost killed someone I once called a friend. I'm scum too.
Eren got to his feet and backed away from Annie. As he gazed upon her sleeping form, he made a promise to himself. He promised that he would never lose control of himself ever again. He had the rest of his life to regret his sins. He didn't want to hurt anyone else.
Clang! A metallic sound rang out from outside. It sounded like a bucket had been pushed over. Eren held his breath as he strained to hear if there was anyone or anything moving nearby.
"What was that?" Annie whispered, stirring from her sleep.
Without answering her, Eren slowly made his way towards the door. He stepped gingerly across the floorboards, trying to minimize the loud creaking of the wood as it strained under his weight. Peeking out of the doorway, he saw a tin bucket in question rolling lazily across the courtyard. It kept moving until it hit a garden hoe lying on the floor, then it rocked back and forth like a tortoise flipped upside down before slowing to a standstill.
Meow!
Eren jumped at the sudden cry, his entire body braced for a fight. A shabby cat strolled languidly into his vision, taking no heed of him. It pushed the now motionless bucket with a paw and cried again.
Meow!
He breathed a sigh of relief. "It's just a cat." He turned to re-enter the house.
"Eren, look out!" Annie shouted. The warning came just in time, as Eren ducked right underneath the Titan's wild swipe at his head. Desperately scrambling away from his assailant, he grabbed Annie's arm and dragged her out the back door. They stumbled over to the dilapidated barn as quickly as they could, but the dull sound of bare feet slapping against the hard ground told them that the Titan was not far behind.
"You've got to transform. We don't have anything to fight it with," Annie said urgently.
"No! I'm not turning into that monster again!"
"Listen to me you stubborn idiot! If you don't turn, we both die. What good is that?"
"I don't care if you die."
Annie didn't respond to him. Eren found himself wondering whether his cold words had hurt her.
"It doesn't matter. I'm going to fight," he said before running out of the barn to meet his enemy.
The Titan was a small one. It stood two meters tall, just short enough for it to be able to make it through the tiny door of the farmhouse, though it did clumsily knock its head against the door panel as it ducked inside earlier. It was thin and wiry, with long, flailing arms and a bow-legged gait. It had long, wavy hair and a buck-toothed grin.
"You're one ugly motherfucker aren't you?" Eren said as he stared down his opponent. The Titan walked slowly towards him, its steps bearing little urgency. He scanned the courtyard for a way to beat the Titan without weapons. He recalled Klaus' bravery in taking on a Titan with nothing but a hardened steel knife and tried to draw courage from the memory.
The Titan lunged at Eren, and he quickly rolled aside to avoid the attack. Just like most Titans, the monster had no sense of controlling its own strength, so it had jumped at him with all its might, causing it to lose its balance and fall into a heap on the ground. Instinctively, Eren moved to mount its back just like he normally would in a hand-to-hand fight, but he quickly remembered that this was a Titan and not just a very large man that he was fighting, so he checked himself at the last moment.
In a way, small Titans like these were even more disturbing than their larger counterparts, simply because they were small enough to almost pass off as being human. Eren eyed it with disgust as it clumsily got to its feet. He could dodge its crude attacks easily, but that wasn't going to be any use, not unless he could play tag with it till night time, but he doubted that he could last that long. The Titan reached an arm out to grab him, but he ducked away again. Eren instinctively lifted his hand to his mouth, but just as he was about to clamp down on it, the image of Mikasa covered in blood stopped him.
"I don't need that power. I'm going to kill you as a human being!" Eren yelled angrily as he prepared to dodge another attack. As he moved out of the way yet again, he caught a glimpse of the well that stood in the shade of a tree right next to the barn and got a reckless idea.
With great dexterity, he managed to pick up a rusty pitchfork from the ground as he rolled by it. When he got back to his feet, he wielded the farming tool as if it were a spear, pointing it at the onrushing giant. When it was close enough, he thrust his weapon forward, stabbing the Titan in its left eye. Its momentum brought it crashing to the ground, but Eren managed to sidestep it as it crushed the abandoned pitchfork beneath its weight. Wasting no time, Eren picked up the garden hoe and rushed towards the downed Titan. With its bloodied eye still steaming as it regenerated in its socket, the Titan pushed itself up onto its elbows only for its remaining eye to greet rusted iron. The hoe was hardly a sharp weapon, so Eren slammed it repeatedly against the Titan's face like a crude battleaxe, hacking away at its eyeball until it was no more than blood and steam.
"Alright," Eren said aloud as he backed off from the now-blinded Titan and threw the tool aside. The Titan stood up and tried to find him, but it could see nothing. Eren quickly ran over and positioned himself in front of the well. "Over here, you fucker!"
The sound of Eren's voice attracted the blind Titan, and it staggered towards the source of the sound with outstretched arms. A few feet away from the well, it stepped on something round - it was the bucket from earlier. The Titan was heavy, and it crushed the bucket under its weight, but not before slipping on it and losing its balance. Eren was now behind it, and with all the strength that he possessed, he rammed into its back and pushed it forward, forcing it to trip onto the well.
The easy part was over. Now came the hard part. The monster was now leaning against the well, and Eren had to try and tip it so that it would fall inside. He positioned himself under the squirming Titan's feet and heaved upwards, but he was not strong enough.
Eren's world went white and full of stars when the Titan kicked him hard in the face as he struggled, but he willed himself to keep pushing. He would not lose. Again he pushed, but the beast would not budge.
"Push!"
Eren looked to his side and saw Annie next to him, holding onto the Titan's leg. "What are you waiting for? Push!" she yelled. Together, they made one final heave and managed to tip it over and into the well. It slid inside and got stuck halfway down the shaft. Its muffled cries could be heard from above, and when they looked down they could see it wriggling helplessly like a worm caught in between a person's fingers, but it wasn't going to be leaving anytime soon.
The two of them sat down against the barn wall, both panting heavily.
"I don't need those stupid powers to win," Eren said when they finally calmed down. "Humans can beat Titans."
"You still needed my help."
"I could have done it."
"You could have saved yourself a lot of trouble if you had just accepted who you are and turned."
"Who I am is not you." Eren grabbed Annie by the collar. "I didn't choose to become this way."
"You think any of us chose to become like this?"
Eren's eyes narrowed.
"Some things aren't for you to decide. Sometimes you get dealt a shitty hand and you have to live with it," Annie said weakly. "We don't enjoy this. The power itself is not an indication of evil. It's what you do with it. Just like a sword. You can use it to murder, or you can use it to protect. Titan-shifting is just a means to an end."
"So are you evil?" Eren asked cautiously.
Annie tilted her head upwards and looked up at the clear blue sky. "I'm not a good person. But does that mean I'm evil? I don't know." She glanced at him. "There's a lot that I don't know."
"I won't turn into a Titan ever again."
"You'd be surprised how quickly you can change your mind when you're on the verge of death."
The sound of a thunderous footstep ended their conversation prematurely. They could feel the ground rumble beneath them, and before they could react, the barnhouse behind them exploded in a flurry of broken wood and splinters as a Titan's fist burst through the wall. Eren flew high into the air and landed a distance away, while Annie was crushed beneath the debris.
Winded as he was by the force of the fall, it took a few moments for Eren to regain control of his faculties. When he looked up, he saw the twenty five meter deviant towering before him. It was the same one from the giant tree forest, and had finally caught up to them. He felt a thick sense of dread envelop him when he saw it pluck his friend from the ruins of the barn.
"Annie!" he cried as it closed its fist tightly over her body. As if in response to Eren, the deviant's hand burst open in a shower of flesh and hard Titan skin, a Titan-form Annie materializing out of thin air. She landed heavily on the ground and stumbled away, clearly too weak to even stand properly. She did not have any skin on her body, and her arms were deformed. Her transformation was incomplete. She glanced over at Eren and he knew what the look on her face meant : she wanted him to run.
"No! You run! You can't fight that thing!" Eren screamed as he saw Annie lunge towards the deviant. It easily knocked her aside with a swing of its gigantic arm, but she simply got up and attacked again and again.
Eren thought about turning into a Titan there and then, but he could not overcome the mental block that held him back. And yet he would not run and leave Annie behind. So it seemed that he would have to watch her die.
Thanks for reading! Please review! :) Also, don't worry that I'll just stop updating one day. I promise, I WILL FINISH THIS STORY.
Announcement : deathmakesapoet, yours truly, has successfully written his first Mikaere smutfic. :D A very very sexy, angsty, awesome smutfic. With lots of input from my good friend and talented writer (not to mention veteran smutfic writer) : HighQueen! It's actually my version of a scene from her story - Losing Control - so it's technically a fanfic of a fanfic. lol. Anyhoo, I'm going to synchronize release of the smutfic with the release of Chapter 4 of her story. Stay tuned! :D And check her story out for maximum enjoyment. :3
I'll release Chapter 11 by next week. If I fail to do so, I give you permission to bombard my inbox with messages telling me what a shitty person I am. :P
Till next time!