I hadn't realized but apparently Samantha and Rae had spotted Sirius and I talking in the corridor a couple of times that week and finally on Thursday night when I returned back from detention with Professor Slughorn, the two decided it was time to hound me with questions. It also couldn't have been the fact that Sirius insisted on walking me to almost everyone one of my classes and by that morning I had found myself dodging Sirius Black.

"Isn't it strange, Sam?" Rae began as I sat down on one of the couches while Samantha and Rae sat opposite of me.

"What's strange, Rae?" Samantha asked and I knew it was going to be coming soon.

"That Marty here has fallen for that blood trading Sirius Black?" Rae said nonchalantly, "And she won't tell us anything about what goes on between them?"

"That is strange." Samantha pondered, "Why is it? Doesn't Marty trust us?"

"No." I answered sourly as I flipped the page in The Secret Garden. "And why should I when you follow me around every time Sirius Black is around?"

"Because we're your besties." Both Samantha and Rae said with matching grins. I sneered at them before closing my book and standing. "What's wrong now?"

"I don't want to have to try to dodge you two as well." I said before moving from the couch, "I'm going for a walk."

Chapter Ten

I sat on the stairs of the Grand Staircase outside the Great Hall and opened my book, wishing to continue to read it when I heard footsteps coming my way. It was either that nosy headgirl that would give me a detention, a professor that will give me a detention or somehow in this amazing world, Sirius Black had once again found me.

"Marty?" The surprise in his voice was evident, as if he wasn't expecting me. "What are you doing here? It's past curfew." The boy sat down next to me and I closed my book with a snap, before realizing that it wasn't Sirius that had found me this time.

"Oh..." I said looking at him, and my shock must have appeared over my face.

"Oh?" Regulus pressed, "Thinking I was someone else and got disappointed when it wasn't that person?" He said and I could almost hear annoyance in his voice.

"I was going to run if you were your brother." I said with a light smile that made Regulus smirk. "Let me guess, prefect duty?"

"But of course. You know I don't go strutting the castle at night." Regulus said as I glanced at him.

"I don't think I've ever seen you strut." I said amused with the image of an over-exaggerating strutting Regulus.

"Did you seriously just picture it and then laugh about it?" Regulus said with what almost seemed in mockery.

"I would never do that." I said rolling my eyes before looking around, "It's getting later, we should head to the common room." Regulus nodded and we got up off the stairs and walked down to the common room, talking about strutting and mental-images of Regulus strutting. It was really quite amusing.

"Xenoscope." Regulus gave it the new password, well the new one since the first of November, which was only a week ago. "Quidditch this weekend, you have to go to this one, Marty."

"Fine I'll go." I said not wanting to debate, "What time?"

"It starts at eleven, right after breakfast." He told me and I nodded, taking note on it.

"All right, but I still refuse to get all dressed up and look like some weird kid in the stands." I told him as I looked down at the book. "Well I'm going off to bed, G'night."

"Night." Regulus said before I turned and tripped up the first couple of steps to dormitory. "Are you all right?" He asked looking at me as I held the book above my head so it wouldn't hit the ground.

"Just peachy." I said after a small groan and pushing myself up once more. "See you in the morning." I said with a false smile before jogging up the rest of the stairs and into the dormitory. Before I entered, I smacked myself on the forehead for falling in the first place, "Stupid klutz."

I entered the dormitory to see Samantha and Rae talking maniacally on my bed, "Don't you have somewhere to be?" I asked Samantha who shrugged, "Like in your dormitory in your bed, not mine."

"Oh well yeah, but what fun would that be?" Samantha said with a grin towards me. I looked over to see Beatrice, who had returned a day or two before, Carol and Amanda all on Beatrice's bed gossipping about there lives, still trying to catch Beatrice up on everything.

"Is it true?" Beatrice said as they spotted me.

"Depends on what you're talking about." I said, my eyes darting to their bed. "And then I can tell you if it's true or not."

"That you went out with Sirius Black?" Carol said bluntly.

"What's it matter if I did or didn't?" I pressed and Samantha and Rae were now watching with interest. "My life isn't for you to know."

"Yeah, but if you went out with Sirius Black then that obviously means you're just a girl he wants to screw." I narrowed my eyes on them and turned to Samantha, "Go to your dorm, I'm going to bed."

Samantha hesitated for a moment before I grabbed my wand from my pocket, she quickly moved, obviously thinking I was going to attack her as I slid the wand onto the nightstand next to me. I had received my wand just that morning, delivered by the Minister of Magic himself. "If you want to know if I dated Sirius Black or not, ask him yourself."

"Ask that blood traitor?" Beatrice sneered at the thought.

"You'd rather ask a mudblood than a pure blood that just landed in the wrong house?" I mused at the stupidity of them.

"You're at least in Slytherin." Amanda said matter-of-factually, "Whereas Sirius... well, isn't."

"Obviously or else we would be having this conversation." I shot, "Why are we having a conversation?"

"Because Marty, we've realized the way we treated you was wrong." Beatrice said sleekly and I could almost feel the hair rise on my neck. "We thought we were harsh and never gave you a chance."

"So why start now?" I said, and I more than likely was being taken as a mudblood bitch. "We were all fine and dandy with how things went before. Why change such a good thing?" I looked at Rae, "Get off my bed, I'm going to sleep." Rae moved and I was able to get into my bed.

"You know, Marty..." Beatrice said walking near my bed, and I restrained myself from grabbing my wand and hexing the lot of them away so I could sleep. "You can trust us. Just like you trust Rae and Samantha... just like how you trust Regulus."

"I don't trust anyone." I grumbled before rolling with my back to her, "Go to bed or get out." I told her before closing my eyes and letting myself fall to sleep.

The next day when I woke up, my mind was racing with thoughts. Trust? Me trust them?She had said I trusted Rae, Samantha and Regulus. I didn't though, or at least I had always presumed I didn't. Two and a half months ago I didn't, I knew I didn't. What changed? Why was I suddenly trusting them now? I spoke more out loud, and I gave my opinion a couple of times. This was crazy, and I didn't get it.

When did my wall get breached?

I sat up and ran a hand through my messy hair, still thinking. I scrunched up my nose and closed my eyes tight- thinking, my hands tangled in my hair. There was no capable way for me to trust people, there just couldn't be. I had to stop myself from trusting again then. From trusting them too.

"GOOD MOR~NING!" I let out a high yell as I fell off my bed as Rae had jumped onto mine. I scrambled, finding my wand and I stood up, my wand pointed. I believed it was Rae, Rae was the only one that would jump on my bed, but trust- I could not, and I had to break away from trusting anyone. "Lower your wand, Marty." Rae pouted, "I can't believe you would point that at me, especially after being partners in crime."

I didn't lower my wand as I looked at Rae through my hair, my bangs growing longer over my eyes and not swept to the sides as normal. I bit my bottom lip and took a step back from her. "Marty, what's going on?" Rae said, sensing that something was wrong. I bit my lip harder, as if to stop myself from sending a curse at her, and that's when I tasted my blood. "Marty? Can you hear me?" She took a step closer, and that's when I realized my wand had faltered and lowered a bit. I quickly raised it once more at her and she stopped in her tracks.

"I... can't trust you." I finally said, a thin line of blood sliding down the side of my chin from my lip. My voice was cracked, and wavering, something it never did. I turned from her and ran out the door, I was thankful for the fact that I was wearing pajama bottoms and a t-shirt for night clothing last night. I didn't know where I ran to at first until I stopped and I closed the door.

The empty classroom where I met Sirius that day.

I walked to the center of the classroom where I had been sitting with my journal, needing my time to write away from getting in a heated debate with Rae over Voldemort and how he'd like me dead. I rested my hands on the table, my blood pulsating through my body and small droplets of water hit the table, hit my hands, and trailed down my nose.

Was this a break-down?I questioned as I slid to my knees and leaned against the table leg. I silently cried, not making a noise, something I had come to use when I was in the study downstairs at Grimmauld. Grimmauld, the place where everything changed.

Before this summer, I could have easily continued my life fine. My parents didn't much care about me, so I lived in the study practically. Down there I was able to use my magic as long as no muggle saw, and with my parents not able to get into the study due to the main down being permanently sealed by magic, which they never saw, the only way in was the trap door under the dining room table.

Why the Death Eaters never checked the basement was odd to me. Maybe they didn't know we had a basement? Or maybe they thought I had fled. But there was something that I learned that night, nobody could be trusted, although you think you can trust them, they will only back stab you, sell you out, and won't take pity on you.

How I loathed how anyone could trust another. I saw the door open and close, but I stayed below the tables, hoping to be unseen, but failed when I saw the head of Sirius Black bobbing around towards me, and he stuffed a piece of parchment into his robes. He spotted me and made his way when he realized I was crying.

"What happened?" He asked crouching down next to me, hesitating on putting a hand on my shoulder. If he did, I would more than likely swat it away, but when he did, I didn't. He sat down on his knees and pulled me into a hug, "Marty, talk to me."

I shook my head no in response. If I weren't to trust Rae, how in the world would he expect me to trust him?

"Marty, you aren't like everyone else, I know that, but you need to talk to someone." Sirius said as I figured out I was leaning into him as he hugged me.

"I can't." My voice croaked out, I wiped away the tears ferociously as I tried to calm myself. I pulled away from Sirius and I looked up at him, "I'm sorry."

"You can, Marty." Sirius told me as he pushed my bangs from my face, the ends of them soaked in tears. "You're letting me see you cry right now, you can trust me with anything."

I pulled my knees to me and hid my face, causing Sirius to give a disgruntled noise.

"If I make you laugh will you talk to me?" Sirius said, trying his hardest to get me to talk.

"No." I said, my voice coming out stronger, but was still muffled by my knees.

"Oh! I know." Sirius said, "It's a knock-knock joke." He was grinning, I could tell, which meant he thought this was going to be funny. "Knock knock!"

I didn't reply so he knocked again, "Knock knock!"

"I'm not answering the bloody door!" I shot at him, "Last time I opened the door to someone it was the ministry sending me to Azkaban."

"Well it's a joke, you're not going to be sent to Azkaban." Sirius told me, "Knock knock!"

I gave up, "Who's there?"

"You know." He said with a cracking smile.

I looked up at him, "I don't know who."

"No, you say 'You know who?'" Sirius said with a huge grin on his face hoping I would get it.

"Voldemort is at my door? Yeah that's great. He wouldn't be knocking, he'd blast the door in and before I could grab my wand I'd be dead." I shot at him, "Thanks for inviting Voldemort over, I think I'd rather go back to Azkaban." Sirius' grin had fallen, realizing what happened.

"Are you scared that Voldemorts going to get you?" Sirius asked, his voice coming out hollow.

"I know he is. You can't be scared of death." I told him.

"I'm not asking if you're scared of death. I'm asking if you're scared of Voldemort." Sirius said and I didn't say anything for a minute, "It's okay to be afraid, Marty..."

"I'm not afraid of Voldemort." I said quickly, cutting him off, "I'm not afraid of anything."

"Then why are you in here crying?"

I closed my eyes and took in a slow breath, that was a low blow and he knew it. "I needed to get away." I said after a minute. "I thought I'd be alone."

"You're never alone, Marty." Sirius said, "You have your frien-"

"I don't got any friends." I said quickly, "Friends are pointless to have in the world if you're me."

"And why is that?" Sirius said, annoyance seeping through his words. "Are you scared to live? Scared to trust? Scared to be happy and enjoy life?" He paused and took in a shallow breath, "I thought you were different, I really did." He stood up from sitting next to me, "If you're just going to act like a selfish, immature, diva teenage girl then you're not worth anyones time." He began to walk towards the door, "Grow up and face the world Marty."

He slammed the door shut behind him, and a new wave hit me as I curled up in my ball. No one had ever said anything like that to me before, ever. My parents hardly talked to me as it was, and they'd never confront me about anything, ever. It was nearly impossible to even hold a conversation with the dead when they were even alive.

Sirius was right. I realize that... I fell onto my side, my ball never coming apart as I lied on the cold tile ground.Selfish... Immature... Diva.... Not worth anyone's time? Face the world... and to grow up... My mind was swimming in the dark abyss full of what Sirius had said, everything he said.

Here's chapter ten! YAY! Next chapter is one of my favorites, I don't know why. It just is, maybe you'll find out on Tuesday! =] What do you think? My Nii-san said it sounded like something Sirius would say, but iDk what do you think?