Sharon POV
It was nearly midnight when I finally got home. Rusty is already in bed, and Andy is out with Provenza, so I dropped my things on the table, poured myself a glass of wine, and slipped out onto the balcony.
Three months ago, I probably would've gone straight to bed, but these days, I wait for Andy. Or at least I try to. And tonight I know he won't be too far behind me. He's not like Jack. He won't spend all night in a bar. I'm sure there was a time in Andy's life when he did that exact type of thing, but not anymore. I have no doubt that he's anxious to get home to me, but his friendship needs attention first, and I can wait.
I sighed heavily and stepped out of my shoes as I took a sip of wine.
It was another long, exhausting day, and for the first time since taking over Major Crimes, I find myself thinking about taking a vacation.
With Andy, I thought, really warming up to the idea.
I don't care where as long as it's just the two of us.
And no cell phones.
Or murders.
Although I can't complain much about today's case. We found our suspect and got a confession, all within the course of about twelve hours.
We left for the scene just before lunch, while Andy and Julio were still working the burner phone angle. I decided to ride with Provenza, and my statement of such was met with a long-suffering sigh and an eye roll.
I wasn't sure if he was still in a bad mood about Andy, or if he just didn't want me in the car with him, but he seemed content to kept his comments to himself. During the first ten minutes of the ride, the silence was stifling, though, so I finally had to say something.
"Is there something you want to talk about?" I asked him.
He took his eyes off the road long enough to give me a brief, blank stare, but he stayed quiet.
"Lieutenant?" I prompted.
"Everything's fine," he mumbled. "I'm fine, you're fine, Flynn's fine…we're all just…fine."
His response was very telling, considering he brought up Andy when he's not around. I wondered if Andy was right, that he won't take it well to hear about our relationship. Maybe he truly doesn't like me. I thought we were past that, but perhaps he's just gotten better at hiding his distaste for me.
Or maybe it's just that he feels like he's losing his friend. And partner, I suppose. Andy's been doing more with Julio lately, and I've encouraged it, mostly due to the fact that Julio was privy to more than the rest of the squad, after the run-ins with Jack.
I decided to make a point of pairing Andy with Provenza during the current investigation.
"How can you not see what's going on?" he asked suddenly. "Are you really that…oh never mind. Just…never mind."
"What is it that you think I should be seeing?"
"Flynn," he said with annoyance, as if I should garner his meaning just from the name. "He's got this…he seems to think…"
He stopped abruptly at a red light and then turned to look at me.
"The least you could do is say something to him. You know, discourage him politely."
He continued to stare at me and it finally dawned on me that it isn't that he disapproves of me and Andy being together. It's that he thinks I'll hurt him. That I'm enjoying the attention even though I never intend on following through with anything.
I couldn't decide whether or not to be offended by his opinion of my character, so instead I went with being pleased that he's concerned about Andy's feelings.
I also decided that disclosure couldn't wait because it was really upsetting him, even more than I'd previously realized, and I couldn't let any lingering personal issues disrupt the squad's ability to work as a team.
"I have said something to him," I stated carefully. "But not to discourage him. Quite the opposite, actually."
"Wait, so you're saying…"
He couldn't seem to finish the thought, so I finished it for him.
"I'm saying that you don't need to worry about Andy's feelings being unrequited. But that's all I'm going to say about it, are we clear, Lieutenant?"
His expression was priceless, and I have to admit that it feels kind of nice to let others know about us. As much as I enjoyed keeping the secret, it also feels gratifying to share with the people in my life.
"Light's green," I said quietly. He punched on the gas harder than was necessary, and then cast another glance in my direction.
"So he's been telling the truth? When he said something about getting dressed in your…no, never mind, don't answer that."
"I have no intention of answering, Lieutenant, I just wanted to put your mind at ease."
"And you think my mind's at ease now?" he asked with incredulity.
I could just imagine the comments Andy has made recently, knowing he could say whatever he wanted without Provenza believing him, so the lieutenant was probably rehashing everything in his mind and piecing together a fairly accurate picture.
"I suppose that depends on the nature of your concerns," I pointed out.
He grunted incoherently, so I stayed quiet, giving him the opportunity to absorb this apparently shocking news.
By the time we got to the crime scene, he seemed mostly okay. He did stare at me for a prolonged moment as we unbuckled in preparation to get out of the car, and then he looked across the street to where Andy and Julio had just parked as well, and he said to me, "Don't plan on seeing your boyfriend tonight. Apparently, Flynn and I have some catching up to do."
He didn't wait for my response, but instead just got out of the car, and I was worried he might spend some time mumbling inappropriate remarks, but he didn't. In fact, the entire squad was in rare form, following my orders almost before I could give them, and making insightful suppositions based on the evidence we obtained.
By the time we left the victim's house, we had a good idea of who our killer might be.
"Captain, I just got a message," Amy said to me as we all headed for our cars. She didn't say it was from Cooper, but that was the inference.
Lieutenant Cooper was how I found out about Greg Hernandez.
Earlier in the day, Amy knocked on my door.
"Captain?" Amy asked as she peered inside.
"Yes?"
"Do you have a minute?"
I nodded and waved her in, and to my surprise, she closed the door behind her before coming over to stand in front of my desk. She's rarely concerned about anyone else hearing what she has to say to me, with the only exception that comes to mind being when she disclosed to me her relationship with Lieutenant Cooper.
I hope this isn't bad news about the two of them. I'm kind of rooting for that office romance, now that I've got one of my own going on.
"I just took a coffee break with Cooper," she said, her voice still quiet even though we're behind closed doors. "He managed to obtain some information. Something we aren't supposed to know."
"Such as?"
"The identity of your accuser."
I held her gaze for a moment while the information rolled through my brain, and then I asked, "Did you ask him to get the name?"
Because if she did, that means she told him about the accusation in the first place, something which I was hoping would remain confidential, only between the people in my division, FID, Taylor, and Pope.
"No, ma'am. He doesn't even realize what he's given me. He mentioned that he bumped into Chief Taylor this morning, and that he was coming out of a conference room, along with…this particular detective. Cooper knows him, from work he's done in the past. When he said it to me, it was strictly conversational, but since you told us that Taylor was meeting with your accuser this morning…"
"Okay," I said, holding up my hand to stop her, because she was clearly flustered, talking a mile a minute. "Okay, so you have his name."
"Yes, ma'am."
The fact that I haven't already quoted the rule book to her and then promptly sent her out of my office tells me that I'm considering breaking the rules.
It's really not like me to do so, but I can't help it. This detective has obviously broken the rules to try to get at me, by filing a false accusation, so it stands to reason that I should be able to defend myself by learning everything I can about him.
And that's justification, I know. Andy really is rubbing off on me.
"Tell me," I instructed.
So that's when I first heard about Detective Greg Hernandez.
"Cooper said he's a decent detective, but has a thing about women," Amy concluded.
"What kind of thing?"
"Strong ideas about where we belong," she stated. "As in, the kitchen, the bedroom…"
"I get it. Okay, so he doesn't like that I'm a woman in charge of a division. That's enough to prompt him to fabricate such a detailed story?" I thought aloud.
It was a rhetorical question, and Amy recognized it as such, just waiting patiently for further instructions, although I could tell she was anxious, and it occurred to me that she already had an idea of how to proceed. I had a feeling it was something similar to mine.
"How would you feel about asking Lieutenant Cooper to do some reconnaissance work for us?" I asked her, and she immediately smiled.
"I was hoping you'd say that. I thought we could get him to bump into him again, casually you know, and then once he pulls him into a conversation, he can bring up your name and see what kind of response he gets."
"Good," I said with a nod. "Go ahead and fill him in on the details, so that he knows what he's getting into."
"Yes, ma'am. I'll take care of it right away."
She turned to leave, and I said to her, "I appreciate your discretion, Detective. It means a lot to me."
"Absolutely," she responded, as if not being discreet had never occurred to her.
She was a great addition to this division, no matter my stated reasons in the beginning. Having someone who at least pretended to like me was only a bonus. I could see potential in her, and she's risen to the challenge.
Once she was gone, I picked up the phone to call Andy. As expected, he went off the deep end after I gave him the name.
The man has a temper, that's for sure. But he does respect authority and as much as I hated pulling rank on him, it immediately quieted him down. If we'd been together in person, a touch on his arm would've done the same thing, but being on the phone left me with limited options.
But at the crime scene, it was all of us, and he was close enough to me that I could settle him down quickly if I needed to, so I let Amy tell us all about the message.
"Cooper says he was very chatty. And his story sounds more like a fantasy, but he's sticking to it."
"What, like this guy's got a thing for her?" Andy spoke up, and I have to give him credit for maintaining an even tone because I can tell by his eyes that he's livid again.
"Definitely. And he's saying that the reason you pressured him is because…"
She stopped talking at looked at me with concern.
"Finish, please," I instructed.
She looked at me apologetically and then said, "He says the two of you had a one night stand. Or that's what it was for him, but you wanted more, and when he said no, you got mad. That happened a week before he was sent to your office. That's his explanation for why you…why you, um…made the offer."
"Because he was just so good I had to have him again," I said with heavy sarcasm.
"Something like that," she acknowledged.
"Okay, that's it, Captain. We can't play nice anymore," Andy said, the words sliding out through gritted teeth. "Let me and Sanchez bump into him tonight after work."
"No. First things first, and in case you forgot, we have a murder to solve. Aren't you and Provenza going to the husband's place of business to see what he has to say for himself?"
"But…"
"Come on, Flynn, you heard the captain," Provenza said, lightly pushing Andy in the direction of the car.
Julio and Amy went to round up the victim's lover, while Mike and I went back to the office.
Along the way, I sent a text to Andy.
Take a breath. It doesn't help to get so angry.
He texted back.
You aren't? It's bad enough what he's saying, but to not be able to do anything about it makes it even worse.
A second text immediately followed.
You told Provenza about us?
That made me smile. With everything else going on, I'd already forgotten about that conversation, otherwise I would've made a point to tell Andy. I could just imagine the earful he was getting.
I sent a reply.
It felt like the right thing to do. I hope that's okay.
And then I typed: If Hernandez is talking freely about me, he'll end up putting his foot in his mouth.
I started to hit send, but then I added, But yes, I'm mad.
I sat for a moment with my phone in my hand, and then I sent one more text.
I love you.
I'm not sure why I had to pause before typing it, except maybe just because we were working, I don't know. But it doesn't hurt anything to send a text while riding in a car, and it's something I think he needed to hear at the moment.
It's actually strange how comfortable I've gotten saying those words again, in such a short amount of time, especially considering that it took me more than a week to work up the nerve to say them to Andy.
In fact, the night we made love out here on the balcony is the first time I almost said it.
Up to that point, I think I was still in denial. We were friends. And of course we were physically attracted to each other. I mean, it was that pull that had me glossing over the rules in the first place.
At no time did I anticipate that I'd fall for him so hard. I just assumed that, at our age, we could manage a relationship that was largely friendship, with the added benefit of occasional sex.
I also thought that type of arrangement would suit him.
But not only was the sex more, everything else was more, too. It wasn't just the random falling into bed to relieve stress after a particularly difficult day. It was conversations in the dark. It was comforting each other. It was being interested in each other's thoughts and feelings. It was him being able to make me laugh at the most unexpected times.
And as the weeks went by, the more time I spent with him, the more time I wanted to spend with him.
That specific day, leading up to the night on the balcony, we'd been teasing each other all day with looks and innuendo. We hadn't made love in the previous three days, and it's funny because I'd gone years before without sex and yet with Andy, waiting three days was about to kill me. Him, too, I think.
So that evening, we got home and went out on the balcony to unwind, as we did from time to time, and I was fully expecting him to be all over me. I was looking forward to him being all over me. I love how he makes me feel like he can't get enough of me.
So when we went outside, he kissed me - deeply and full of passion, like he almost always does the second we're alone - but then he stepped back and said he'd be right back. He went inside, so I took a deep, steadying breath and then sat down in the chair.
He reappeared moments later, with a glass of wine in his hand.
"You had that meeting with Taylor this afternoon," he explained. "I thought you might need this."
I reached out to accept the glass, and my heart was pounding with a completely different kind of anticipation. The realization that he was more concerned about how I was feeling than he was about his own needs...that he truly cared about my mental well-being…that I wasn't just a challenge for him, or another rule to break…and that he wasn't just a means of scratching an itch for me.
I was in love with him.
That last thought nearly took my breath away, and I analyzed it to death, trying to deny its veracity, but the only thing I managed to prove was that not only was it true, but that it had been true for quite some time.
"I don't know how you wear these things, all day every day," Andy said softly as he sat at the end of my chair, settling my legs in his lap and then pulling off my heels.
"You get used to them," I replied, my brain still on a continuous loop of I love him. It was disconcerting, to say the least. I haven't been in love since Jack. Since early Jack.
"I find that hard to believe," he insisted as he took one foot between his hands and began a gentle massage.
"Fashion over comfort?" I offered, smiling, but still panicked on the inside.
How could I be in love with Andy Flynn?
But that question was easy to answer. It was only so baffling because I'd been in such denial.
I mean, he's such a kind, gentle soul. Sounds silly, to equate those words with Lieutenant Flynn, but it's true. And the more I've learned that, the more I've come to realize that his temper is usually directly associated with him feeling powerless about an injustice to someone. It's him, standing up for others as opposed to being about him personally. He genuinely cares about people.
"Well, you do wear them well," he murmured, his voice almost as soothing to me as his fingers. He finished with one foot and then worked on the other, and I found myself just watching him. The way he knew which spots were ticklish, so he used more pressure. The way he flicked his gaze over to mine from time to time and would just smile at me. The way he seemed perfectly content trying to make me feel good.
"You want to talk about Taylor?" he asked, sliding his hands up my calves, gently kneading the muscles for a moment before moving higher to where the hem of my skirt rests at my knees.
"Not in the least," I answered. He raised an eyebrow at me, but I just tossed back the last of the wine and set the glass on the table next to me. "It was fine. Budgets and such. No surprises."
"Oh," he replied, and then he lowered his eyes again, looking at his hands as they moved upward beneath my skirt.
It hit me then that maybe he thought I was going to offer Chief Taylor disclosure about us. We've been discussing it, but I'm not ready yet, and at the moment, I thought maybe he was taking that as a personal slight.
"Andy, I don't want to tell him yet."
"Because you think that soon there won't be anything to tell?"
"No," I said quickly, leaning forward in the chair and putting my hand on his cheek. "No, that's not it at all. Andy, I…"
And that's when it almost came out.
I love you.
But the words were harder to say than I anticipated. In fact, they got caught in my throat so that I couldn't say anything at all, and I could see his confidence flagging, and I brought my lips to his, pressing lightly in what I hoped was a reassuring kiss.
"I like having the secret," I explained. "I like that it's just you and me, and no one is watching us or analyzing us, or wondering what we might be doing."
When he still looked unsure, I added, "Andy, you have to know how much I care about you. I wouldn't be doing this if I weren't…"
That's the second time I almost said it.
If I weren't in love with you.
It's also the moment when I realized just how long I must have been in love with him, or at the very least, well on my way to it because what I said was true. I never would've started a relationship with him if it were only going to be casual.
"I will tell Taylor," I promised. "I just hate him having any ammunition against either one of us, you know?"
"I know," he said, drawing me into his arms. "And I'm sorry for pushing it."
We held each other for a moment, and then I felt him breathe in deeply, his nose still buried in my hair.
"My ex called while I was on my way over here," he explained after another minute. "I don't know why I always let her get in my head, but…yeah, she's got my number."
Insecurity - magnified after conversations with his ex - was one of those unexpected things to learn about Andy.
"Then change your number," I said, pulling back so that I could look at him. I smiled as I caressed his cheek, loving the way he leaned into my hand. "And don't ever doubt how much you mean to me, okay?"
It was the closest I could do at the time.
He smiled back at me, and then I reminded him of just exactly what he'd been doing before our conversation distracted him, and his eyes darkened, sparking a visceral reaction in me even before he slid his hand back underneath my skirt in order to continue massaging my thighs.
I scooted closer to him, encouraging greater exploration, and he happily obliged, shoving my skirt up around my hips as he brought his lips to mine for one of those toe-tingling kisses of his that never fail to set me on fire.
Before Andy, I never would've considering abusing my patio furniture in such a fashion, but that night it never once entered my mind. And since that night, I've been ready to try it again because the romanticism of the moon and the city lights and the crisp night air combined with Andy's passion made it an experience I'll never forget.
"Sharon?"
I glanced up to see Andy standing in the balcony doorway. His tie was off, and his shirt unbuttoned at the top, and it probably seems silly, but my stomach does flip-flops just at the sight of him.
"You made it home alive," I said with a smile as I rose from the chair and walked towards him.
"Barely," he answered with a grin. "And don't think you're off the hook. Provenza still has a thing or two to say to you, too."
I wrapped my arms around him, pressing my cheek against his chest, and reveled in how just being with him makes life seem better. I never would've guessed that before, that I was missing out on anything, but this, with him, has to be as good as it gets.
"I can handle the lieutenant," I deflected. "I just wanted to make sure you guys are still friends."
"We're fine," he assured me. "He's still in shock, though, I think, so I might get another round in a couple of days once he's had time to let it all sink in."
"Understandable," I mused. "Are we fine?"
"You tell me. I'm the one who acted like an ass, and made you call me lieutenant," he answered.
"We're fine," I promised, and then I tilted my head up towards his, in anticipation of the kiss I've been waiting for since this morning. Fourteen hours seems like a long time to have to wait, so we need to make up for lost time.
"You ready for bed?" he asked as his lips moved away from mine, burning a path down the side of my neck.
I'm ready for something, but it's not bed. And after my lovely walk down memory lane, I know what I want. It's risky, considering Rusty's in bed, but if we turn out the balcony lights, we'll be practically invisible from inside…
"No," I answered coyly as I took him by the hand. "I was thinking we could spend some time outside."
TBC...