Chapter 10

AN: Again, I apologize for the amount of time it takes me to write each chapter, I'll update more when finals are over- if I survive them. Thanks for 120 followers, and I hope you all enjoy the chapter!

Severus POV

Severus awoke slightly more tired than usual. He had dozed off in his lab the previous night, and when he headed upstairs to go to bed, he had to deal with Draco's nightmare. It just reminded him how far out of his league he was. He had been completely unable to help Draco, and the boy wouldn't even tell him what the nightmare was about afterward.

He rose wearily from the mattress. Nightmares were to be expected at this stage, he told himself. It would be a while before the boys opened up to him, and even then he couldn't expect them to tell him everything. He wasn't sure he even wanted to know. Even the limited knowledge he had about their experiences was painful to think about- he knew he would never be able to understand the agony they had felt.

He dressed in simple navy blue robes and headed downstairs, skipping breakfast and heading straight to his lab. He looked through the stack of mail that had been dropped off yesterday, finding a letter from Madame Pomfrey detailing the necessary potions to prevent either of the boys from having chronic pain due to their injuries. He made a mental note to brew them later and do some research for non-addictive potions to help Draco sleep.

Tiddles appeared in front of him to deliver her morning report on the boys. "Good morning, Master Severus. Draco has just begun eating breakfast in the dining room, if you'd like to join him."

"Thank you, Tiddles. What about Harry?"

"Harry is awake but hasn't come downstairs yet. Would you like me to bring him breakfast in his room?"

Severus sighed, realizing that Harry would be even more adamant about avoiding him after last night. He would give him space, but that didn't mean he was going to let him sulk in his room every day. "Yes, bring something up for him. Make sure to tell him that we'd be glad for him to come to the dining room."

"And what would you like for breakfast, sir?"

Severus stood, wandering to the door. "Would you mind bringing me a bowl of oatmeal to the dining room?"

"Of course, sir."

As Severus walked into the dining room, he paused in the doorway. Draco had his knees pulled up on his chair and was reading what looked like one of the books from his library. His omelette sat half-finished in front of him. Severus marveled at how innocent the boy suddenly seemed before crossing the room and taking the seat across from him. "Good morning, Draco," he said as Tiddles brought in his oatmeal. He frowned when he saw that as usual, the house elf had insisted upon sweetening it with honey and berries.

"'Morning," Draco mumbled in reply, letting his hair fall over his eyes."

"Draco," Severus said, "look at me."

Draco lifted his head and met the professor's eyes hesitantly.

"What happened last night is nothing to be ashamed of, understand? I don't think any less of you, and I don't want you to hesitate to come talk to me about anything."

Draco nodded and returned nervously to his book. Severus pulled out his Daily Prophet and started picking at his oatmeal, satisfied. A few minutes passed before Tiddles reappeared, offering to take away Draco's omelette. Draco nodded, and Severus eyed him over the top of his paper. "Draco, why are you eating so little?"

Draco shrugged, glancing up only briefly. His clear aversion to the question only made Severus more worried- and slightly annoyed.

"Draco. Look at me when I'm speaking."

Draco clenched his jaw and looked up. "What?" he snapped.

Severus raised an eyebrow in his signature expression of contempt. The boy had gone from sad and hesitant to indignant in seconds.

"I'm simply wondering what's causing your disinterest in food. I think I've mentioned several times that I'm trying to help you."

Draco shook his head, not responding. When he saw Severus expecting a reply, he groaned. "They starved me, okay? I assume you know that. It's not easy to go straight from eating literally nothing to eating three meals a day."

Severus shrugged in an effort to stay nonchalant. "That's why we have potions, Draco. I already have a stomach settling potion brewed, so you can start taking it before lunch."

Draco looked put out and slightly embarrassed of his reaction. "Okay," he murmured. Changing the subject, he asked, "Where's Harry?"

Severus put the self-blame for Draco's starvation behind him and sighed. "He's not up yet. Maybe he'll come down later."

When Draco returned to his book, Severus also turned back to his paper, but was struggling to concentrate. He recognized the emotion written on Draco's face- loneliness. He knew reading alone could only occupy him for so long, and with the recent betrayal of his parents he needed reassurance from another person who enjoyed his company. Harry obviously wasn't ready to provide that for him...

"Draco, why don't you write to someone? I have some parchment and quills that you can use."

Draco's fingers tightened discreetly on the cover of the book. He was silent for several moments. "I don't know," he finally said. He paused again, and Severus waited. "I never had any real friends at Hogwarts. Just people that father wanted me to associate with."

"Well, you could write to a professor instead, just to let them know that you're okay and to ask them for your missed work. You don't have to if you don't feel ready, and Professor Dumbledore has made it clear that you aren't expected to make up your finals."

Draco seemed nervous, but nodded with a quiet "sure."

Severus snapped his fingers to summon Tiddles, allowing her to take his oatmeal and asking her to retrieve the materials for Draco. When she reappeared, he handed the paper, quill, and ink to Draco before using a quill of his own to write a response letter to Poppy. Perhaps one day she would be able to come and give the boys a follow-up evaluation. A few minutes later, he sealed his letter, which was relatively short, and looked up at Draco, who was sitting with his hands clenched in his lap, staring at the paper.

"Draco, please. Don't stress yourself about this. Nobody wants you to rush yourself."

Draco stared at him for a second before his face screwed up as if he was trying to avoid crying. Before Severus could ask him what was wrong, he took off from the room abruptly.

Draco POV

Tears blurred his vision as he ran from the room, but halfway down the hall he realized that Severus would come and find him whether he ran or not. So he stopped and leaned against the wall, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes to prevent the tears from falling and waited for Severus to come out. He only had to wait a few seconds before the intimidating professor was striding towards him, grabbing his shoulders to steady him.

"Draco, I told you not to do anything that you aren't ready for. Your teachers understand that you have gone through a lot, and they don't expect you to do all of the work you missed yet."

Draco dropped his hands and tried to speak, but words seemed to have failed him, so he simply held up his trembling right hand for Severus to see. His eyes widened in understanding when he saw not only the missing little finger, but mangled and crooked state of his knuckles.

"Draco, I-"

"They did it on purpose," he murmured. "I didn't realize until now, but…" He stopped. "How did you find us in the first place? Did they let us go so that we'd have to deal with this?" He was starting to grow delusional, still staring at him.

"Draco, that's a conversation for another time," Severus said, looking at him nervously. "Why don't we go sit down?"

Draco didn't acknowledge him. "How am I supposed to write, or play Quidditch? For Merlin's sake, how am I supposed to do anything? Everything will be so different when I get back to school- I'll be an outcast. I'll fail all my classes, I'll-" he broke off, wrapping his arms around his chest, which was starting to feel like it was closing up again. He took a few heaving breaths, trying to fill his lungs, which seemed to be knotted.

"Oh, Merlin," Severus said, but his voice sounded far away, like he was underwater. He grasped Draco's forearms, leading him back to the dining room, where he sat him down in a chair and pulled another over so he could sit down. He hesitantly put a hand on his back, clearly trying to overcome his aversion to human contact, and attempted to comfort Draco. He didn't mind the gesture, but it did very little to help him. His heart was pounding in his chest and anxiety seemed to be coursing through his veins.

Severus called for Tiddles to bring a calming draught, but it took longer than usual for his breathing to slow after he took it. Severus had him count slowly to ten with him as he calmed down, and eventually he returned to the present, his face heating up as he realized what had happened.

"Sorry," he muttered to Severus, who was watching him worriedly.

"What did I say about apologizing?" Severus said.

"Not to do it. Sorry," he said again, before realizing his mistake and shaking his head as Severus chuckled slightly.

He hadn't forgotten about his hand, however, and his newfound fear for the coming school year was still fresh in his mind. Severus saw him glancing at his fingers again and pulled his chin up with his long, thin fingers- his five straight, full-length, agile fingers.

"Draco, we'll figure this out. Okay?"

"Okay," he muttered, willing to try and ignore it for as long as he could.

"Come on," Severus said, pushing his chair back. "We'll go to the library and I'll show you some of the secret passages. It'll make it easier to get there from your room at night." At Draco's questioning look, he raised an eyebrow. "You thought I didn't know about your late night excursions? Magic is a beautiful thing, you know. I have eyes everywhere."

Draco shook off the slightly maniacal glint in Severus's eyes and followed him from the room on still-shaky legs.

Harry POV

At some point during the morning, the sun became too bright for Harry and he closed his curtains, sending Hedwig out the window before retreating back into his bed. The darkness was comforting- it reminded of his cupboard. Ironically, the cupboard reminded Harry not of nights waiting fearfully for Uncle Vernon to come home drunk, but of safety. After all, when Harry was in the cupboard, Uncle Vernon wasn't hurting him. He had even found his old horse figurines that he had kept on the single shelf above his pillow.

He dozed off, and when he woke up it must have been around noon, since the sun was completely filtering through the curtains. He groaned. The darkness of the room with the exception of only the light coming through the window was strikingly similar to the dungeons, where the only light source was the small, barred window. Despite himself, he felt the beginnings of a flashback, and quickly leapt from the bed, tearing the comforter from the mattress. He bundled it up under his arm and peeked outside his room. Taking in the empty hallway, he tiptoed a few feet away to a small closet. It was relatively empty, so he spread the comforter out on the floor and laid down, pulling the figurines and his wand from his pocket, feeling like his eleven year old self. Using his wand, he projected designs of light on the ceiling and levitated his figurines, feeling tears wet his face without even knowing why he was crying.

He knew reminiscing on less problematic times wasn't helpful at all, but loneliness and sadness got the better of him. Uncle Vernon never exactly beat him until the summer before his third year- after his "stunt" with the Weasleys and the flying car. He felt himself longing to go back in time to before his uncle started coming home drunk and before Hermione died. And without physical pain to distract himself from the emotional pain, he felt the urge to cut himself again. Frustration filled him as he remembered Snape noticing them the previous night and he realized he was digging his nails into his forearms. He slowly pried his fingers away and turned over, looking at the projections and trying to tune out his thoughts with sleep once more.

AN: Hope you enjoyed! By the way, I think I'm going to change the rating to M because of the violence (I was actually going to mention this, and then I got a review about it which confirmed it for me). Also, I wanted to say thank you to you all for your support and wonderful reviews, so please follow and review! Wish me luck on my algebra, science, and history finals… :(