Ok writing this nearly made me cry. I'm telling you - there were emotions.
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10. Bad Tidings
The apartment is quiet.
Kaidan is staring at the vid feed, a piece of toast halfway to his mouth. His brown eyes are wide and disbelieving, the flash of still-images of wreckage and fire overwhelming his senses.
No.
Just. No.
It has to be a hoax, he thinks, his stomach doing odd flip-flops. The ring on the chain around his neck he's been wearing for the past six months is suddenly burning and heavy. It has to be a joke; she's going to turn up on the doorstep of their apartment in the next few seconds and they'll laugh. Her green eyes will crinkle in amusement at the absurdity of the press and she'll take his hand and tell him everything will be all right.
No.
Just. No.
What is left of the Normandy drifts by the camera and the unnamed journalist's voice cuts into his brain like a knife. "It is unclear just who attacked the pride of the Alliance Fleet but we do know there were some casualties. Notably, Commander Arianna Shepard, the hero of the Citadel, who we understand returned to rescue a crew member and was, as the Navy says, 'spaced'."
No.
The doorbell chirrups at him, slicing through his shock. He shakes himself and moves towards it woodenly, his stomach churning with dread. The door slides open in slow motion revealing Councilor Anderson. His face is low and apprehensive; pity and his own grief mingle together in an odd combination. He's holding a folded Alliance flag.
NO.
JUST. NO.
Kaidan blinks at him before wordlessly and very deliberately, closing the door.
The minute the rescue transporters touch down on the Citadel, Liara is running. Her mind is numb with shock, like it hasn't caught up yet.
Shepard is gone.
Her best friend is gone. Joker's face flashes across her memory unbidden, his bloodshot eyes staring guiltily out at her from the steaming escape pod. His arms and legs are twisted horribly from the bumpy ride to the surface of the planet but it's his face she remembers. He hasn't said a word since they picked him up.
Liara turns a corner and barrels into the elevator. "Presidium commons." She says to the civilian near the buttons.
Anderson's message is still flashing at her from her omni-tool. "Worried about Kaidan. Come as soon as you can." When she gets to the apartment, Anderson is waiting for her, the folded flag in his hand. It's an Earth military tradition, she remembers from her University days, given to war widows or widowers. She blinks, how did he find out?
"He's locked the door." The older man says quietly, touching her arm gently in greeting.
Their faces are mirror images; worry, grief, anger and disbelief. They're both running on empty, unwilling to stop and think about what it is they've lost. And so they concentrate on someone else. Liara nods and sighs before pressing a long, blue finger to the door comm.
"Kaidan? It's me."
They wait for a long moment but there's no answer. She sighs once more and turns to the Councilman. "I'm going to hack the door." She says, her mouth set in a grim line, firing up her Omni-tool.
When the door opens, Liara steps through, motioning for Anderson to wait. Her feet crunch on some broken glass and she's glad she is still wearing her ship-board boots. The apartment lies in ruins, like a stampede of wild animals has torn through, leaving nothing behind. Kaidan is sitting in the middle of the floor, remnants of his biotic field flickering like a faulty light bulb across his body. His knees are drawn up to his chest and his hands cover his face. With a small cry, Liara leaps lightly over the debris and slides to the floor next to him, wrapping her arms around him. He's shaking, she notices.
And then he cracks, breaks like he's broken everything else around him, shivering violently. She holds him tight as he cries.
The apartment is quiet.
Blergh.
Horizon is next. Double blergh.