Hi,
Yay! I just about made it before the end if the week. Thank you all so much for my reviews. I have never received 100 reviews before and am so flattered that you're all so wiling to share your thoughts with me.
A quick warning, this chapter is darker. I hope I don't upset anyone too much with the ending. If I do, I sincerely apologise.
Anyway, before I give away what happens, I really hope you enjoy.
Chapter 10
Ryan lay on his bed, his face sheltered in the crook of his elbow. He could faintly hear Kirsten and Sandy talking together downstairs. He wanted to go down and get a glass of water but hated the way that they always stopped talking the moment he entered a room.
They kept wanting him to open up and talk to them about what had happened but he just couldn't. He didn't want them to know what had happened to him. He didn't want them to know how screwed up he felt inside.
Whenever he tried to sleep, the men's faces would return to him but he was having trouble fending off sleep. His eyes were so tired and it felt like his head was constantly aching. Sandy kept trying to get him to eat but food was the last thing on his mind.
He hadn't received much food whilst he was locked in that room. He hadn't had much water either. The men seemed to like it when he was weak. They certainly loved to hear him begging for help.
Sandy had told him that one of the men was in custody. Ryan didn't know if that was such a good thing. What if the other two thought he had ratted them out? Whenever the police came to talk to him, he'd try to be as vague as possible. He knew what the consequences would be if he gave any of the men away. They'd made the consequences perfectly clear to him before they had dumped him by the side of the road.
He heard footsteps on the stairs and hoped beyond hope that they'd pass him by. He really wasn't in the mood for any more talking. He sighed when he heard his door open.
"Hi Honey," he lifted his arm and looked up as Kirsten entered.
The sound of the men's voices telling him that Kirsten didn't want him, that she'd helped set up the whole thing, filled his ears and he sat up, keeping himself alert. He hadn't believed them at first but she'd been acting off with him since he'd come back and now he wasn't so sure.
He just hoped that she wasn't part of a sudden plan to take him back, that a car wasn't parked outside waiting to take him back. He didn't think he could stand going back there.
He flinched as she sat down on the bed beside him. She was probably coming closer so that Sandy wouldn't hear her telling him to get lost.
He looked at her through the corner of his eyes when she sighed. He was struck by how sad her eyes looked.
"I saw my dad today," Ryan didn't know how to respond, he continued watching her, waiting for her to continue.
"I am so sorry Ryan," Oh God, Ryan dreaded to think what she was about to say.
His thoughts were filled with worries. Was she about to break the news that she didn't want him anymore?
"I didn't know…" he was shocked to hear the emotion and tears in her voice.
"I promise… I would have tried to protect you if I'd known. I didn't know how much he didn't want you around."
Ryan frowned. "What?" he asked confused.
She looked at him.
They were both silent for a few minutes.
"What did they say to you?" She asked quietly and Ryan looked at her startled, he wasn't ready for this.
He shrugged, looking around the room, anywhere but at her.
"I want you to know that those things, whatever they were, aren't true. I love you and I see you just as much a son to me as Seth is."
Since entering the house, those were the words Ryan had been longing to hear. He moved his eyes to look at her. He just wished the words had been given to him in a different context.
He didn't know what to think. Was she talking seriously? Or was she just saying it to save herself from going to jail for the same thing as Caleb.
He pulled away suddenly as she, without warning, put her arm around him. He moved away from the bed and crossed the room, wrapping his arms around himself.
"Ryan?" Her voice sounded so shocked and surprised. He was so confused, she looked so genuinely upset. He didn't know what to believe.
He was so tired and he couldn't think clearly. He watched as she too stood up and took one last quick look in his direction before hurrying out of the room. He could hear her muffled crying getting quieter and quieter as she got further and further away.
His eyes remained on the now vacated bed and he didn't know what to feel. He put a hand to his head as he felt the tell tale signs of another pounding head ache seizing him once again.
He couldn't take this anymore.
He felt like he was sleep walking.
He couldn't tell what anyone was thinking; he couldn't tell what he himself was thinking. He kept hurting the feelings of everyone around him.
He saw the way Seth looked at him, like he was a complete head case. Whenever he spoke, he sounded like he was talking to a three year old. Ryan missed the way that Seth used to come to the pool house and bore him with stories about Summer along with all that she had been up to that day. He didn't even have the pool house anymore.
He could see the way Sandy would brace himself before coming into the room, the way he'd try and remain his old upbeat self.
He knew they'd all be so much better off without him.
He didn't think he could live in this same skin anymore. Every time he did something, he'd get a sudden flash back of what he'd been through for all that time he'd been locked in the dark.
He could hear the sound of the men howling with laughter and calling heads or tails through the door. He could feel the panic he had felt when the door had slowly opened to reveal who was going to 'play' with him.
He shuddered at the memories, his head pounding all the more.
He could hear the muffled sound of Sandy comforting Kirsten.
At night he could hear them arguing. He could hear them arguing about him.
He was ruining their relationship.
All the time he'd been locked up, he'd been holding on to the thought of being back with the Cohens. Now he was back, everything was different.
He wondered, almost in a daze, into the bathroom and locked the door behind him.
He ran the shower, but didn't step inside.
He began looking through the cupboards, his hands shook. Something inside of him was telling him to stop, to go and talk to the Cohens about how he was feeling but he knew they wouldn't understand.
His hand met with a shaving blade, he seized it and pulled it out of the overflowing cupboard.
He looked at it, the metal gleaming, daring him to proceed.
He knew the Cohens would be better off without him.
He sat on the floor, ashamed by the tears that were running down his cheeks.
As the blade sliced through is skin, he shuddered at the feeling of nausea that rose through him.
He was doing this for the Cohens. They'd done so much for him and lately it seemed he was throwing it all back into their faces.
He sat quietly as everything began to grey out. He clenched his jaw to stop himself from screaming out for Sandy.
He just hoped that his blood on the tiles wouldn't be too difficult for Rosa to clean up...
tbc…
:D Oh the melodrama!