A/N: I'm sorry it's been such a long time. I had exams and I was going to mention it to you guys but I was too busy to even come on here. Anyway...here's the next chatper sorry it took so long.
The ride back to forks was undoubtedly bittersweet. I was constantly terrified. I looked over my shoulder exactly 656 times over the course of that three day ride. I'm sure of the number because Edward was counting inan attempt to lighten the mood. He wasn't doing a very good job seeing as he was the most paranoid of all of us. Edward was dead set on going straight home so that Carlisle could deal with my injuries, but Alice was driving and she refused to deviate from Carlisle's clear instructions that we were to take a long and complicated route to throw them off our scent. This caused Edward to sulk and refuse to speak to Alice for several hours.I wasn't sure who I agreed with. I was sure Carlisle knew what was the best course of action, but on the other hand, every time I shifted slightly I managed to find some new bruise, cut, or sore place. Edward grumbled each time this happened, so I tried to remain still as much as possible.
The worst part, of course, was what happened to me in the one place Edward couldn't accompany and protect me...my nightmares. I dreamt repeatedly of dark rooms filled with leering red eyes. The themes always seemed to revolve around my own death or losing Edward. Twice, my screaming grew so loud and panicked that Alice had to pull over until Edward could wake me up and she could concentrate on driving again. When I could finally be consoled, I was horribly embarrassed about the whole thing, but between my awakening and when I came to my senses, I was a complete and utter wreck. I cried inconsolably and clung to Edward like we only had a few more seconds to live. I could tell that it bothered him intensely to see this, especially since I knew he blamed himself for the whole ordeal, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't be calm after some of the things I had to see. Edward was very tolerant. He never once drew attention to his own emotional suffering, simply did everything he could to help me control my hysteria until I was quiet enough for Alice to continue.But at the same time, even through all the pain and the fear, that ride seemed like the best thing that had ever happened. Finally I had uninterrupted time with Edward. The hours stretched on and I found myself able to forget my aching and fatigue and just stare into his perfect face, committing him to memory in case we were ever separated again. I think he was doing the same thing as well, but when I asked him, he denied it,
insisting that he would never allow us to be separated again.
I can't even really explain the sense of intense relief that I felt during that long, semi-peaceful ride. I was so tired of being strong and brave and fighting just to keep from falling apart or dying. For the last month all I had done was fight this internal battle between the will to survive and my exhausted need to give in and let myself stop trying. There were days when the latter was stronger and I would stop eating the insufficient meals that the Volturi provided but in the end, the strong side always won out and I would push a little harder, even stand up to Victoria.The one thing that had always gotten me through was that I knew it would destroy Edward if I were killed. I figured he owed it to me now to take over everything, not that I even needeed to ask. He made sure I had enough food and forced Alice to stop at a small drug store at a rest stop in the middle of nowhere so he could get some cough syrup and painkillers for me, not that it did much to suppress my violent coughing or the aching that constantly ate away at my sanity. But the real battle I had had to face was internal, and the emotional support in the little shiny volvo was overwhelming. There
was no more convincing myself to be strong. I didn't need to be strong when he was there. When I was alone, I could sob and be miserable all I wanted, and Victoria would be there, grinning and radiant, feeling like she was doing her duty to James. And all that did was make me more miserable. It was a miracle to be able to cry and have someone care.
The first day, we drove in silence. Alice was concentrating intently on driving and attempting to summon a vision at the same time. Edward and I were mentally exhausted and I slept most of the day while he rested his head against the window and closed his eyes, almost as though he were asleep as well. When I did wake up, the raspy cough I had developed paired with the fever and the weakness prevented me from moving much.The second day, we talked more. First I recounted my waking nightmare for Alice and Edward with a lot of tears and many long pauses. Alice looked tortured and horrified at my story and Edward grew more livid with each word I pronounced. His grip on me grew incrementally tighter as I continued my recitation and I caught him growling subtly more than once. When I finally revealed the nature of my broken fingers, Alice let out a little cry and Edward just clenched his teeth in silent outrage.That twisted little-" was all he managed to get out.
When I finished, it was at least an hour before we recovered enough for Alice and Edward to tell their part of the story.Alice was responsible for most of the narrative, seeing as Edward was still too angry to talk much. It turned out that the hero responsible for locating me was none other than my own father, who had used the phone tracking device at his office which he had yet to return to the Seattle police department since he had borrowed it to use during one of Forks' few murder cases. The murderer was never caught, but I know that James' coven was not the first of their kind to come visit the Cullens. During one of my phone calls with Edward, Charlie had been tracing the call and he got a definite signal coming from Vancouver.They had all agreed that it was best not to let me in on the plan in advance. If it failed, they knew I was even less ready than they were for that kind of disappointment. When Victoria had screamed her ominous warning into the phone, Edward and Alice were already halfway to Vancouver. Alice said she still couldn't believe that Edward had run all the rest of the way in under ten minutes. Even for a vampire it was astonishing. Edward told the rest of the story, since Alice wasn't there for that part."When I got near enough to hear their thoughts, those were the most terrifying moments of my life" he reflected quietly, "Every vampire in the building was thinking about you and about what was about to happen. The were
all hurrying down to watch her kill you, like it was a sick type of entertainment for them. And then I heard Victoria's thoughts. I could see what she was planning to do to you, but I didn't know it was only a plan...I thought I was too late. It was so close.. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't been there when I arrived." the pain in his voice was indescribable; It brought on a fresh flood of tears.
Nothing I said would stop Edward from feeling guilty. I tried so hard to convince him that none of this was his fault, but he was so stubborn about the whole thing."I failed you, Bella," He insisted, "I broke my promise. I said I would never be far from you again and within a few hours you were gone. I always seem to be the one making the mistakes in this relationship. Please don't try to make me feel better. I deserve this guilt." I gave up, praying that he would forgive himself eventually.
On the morning of the third day, I was gently awoken by a soft whispering breath flowing across my cheek.
"Bella," he murmured quietly, "Bella we're here"
I gave no reply except for a pitiful moan coming from some combination of fatigue and pain. I felt his solid arms snake around me and then I was lifted carefully from the leather seats which were still sticky from my tears.
A whirlwind of ecstatic greetings awaited me when we exited the car. All the Cullens were there with hugs and laughter and, though all eyes were dry except mine, I imagine they all would have been crying with relief to see me and Edward reunited if that had been possible. Even Rosalie greeted me warmly with a shy, friendly smile. As glad as I was to see them all again, the entire scene was considerable overwhelming and I felt as though I had been showed out from a dark quiet room into a crowded street full of flashing cameras. Edward picked up on my distress quickly and when Emmett lifted me high off the ground in a smothering greeting, accidentally squeezing my injured hand, Edward growled menacingly at him and snatched me back, whisking me away to his room where everything was quiet. I lay there, exhausted, cradled in his arms. He spoke to me only after we'd been there about an hour.
"Umm, just so you know, Bella," he said nervously, "There's something we have to talk about when you're feeling better. But for now you should sleep. Carlisle wants to examine you but I thought you should get some rest first."
Then, I drifted off to a peaceful dreamless slumber until I was sharply awakened by a violent knock on the Cullens' door.