I sincerely don't know what to say to excuse my failure. All I can say is that I'm sorry and I really hope you all don't beat me down for it.

I just want to thank my ever-patient Beta, Twilightzoner. I really don't know what I'd do without you.

Despite my not updating, the reviews still came. You have no idea how much that means to me. Thank you all for them... please keep them coming.

Review please...

Finally, the disclaimer...

I own... everything sweet but nothing Twilight.

I closed the door softly behind me. Charlie and Billy were still gawking at the T.V, watching some rugby game.

"I really don't see how you can do that all day," I mumbled with a smile as I walked past them.

"Well, hello to you too, darling," Charlie said with a chuckle. "Now may I ask what it is that you don't get?"

"Baseball," I stated matter-of-factly, turning back to look at them. "How can you sit there and watch it all day? The game doesn't even make sense to me."

"If you take some time to watch it, you might get hooked as well," Charlie answered.

"No, thank you," I said, heading for the kitchen. "I think I'd rather invest that time in whipping up some dinner instead."

I stood leaning against the counter. So much had happened in such a short time, I felt as though I had grown five years older in twenty four hours. Jacob's words came back to me over and over and every time I thought about them, the more I wanted to cry.

I'll always be here, Bella. I'll never do anything to hurt you, I promise… In the entire world, I would've never asked for anyone with a better heart. Jake had been there for me all my life. There was no time I could recall when he'd let me down.

I heaved a sigh and started preparing dinner. 1 onion, 3 tomatoes, 1 green pepper and 2 carrots chopped, I was ready to start cooking. I boiled rice, diced chicken, baked potatoes, chopped, fried, boiled and an hour later, the table was set.

"Dinner is ready," I called to Charlie and Billy.

"Wow!" Billy exclaimed, staring at the table.

"Well, somebody's in a good mood," Charlie said, taking a seat. I simply smiled and joined them.

Everyone was hungry so needless to say, dinner was quiet. When we were done, I took the dishes to the sink and ran the water, my mind drifting to the last few months of my life.

I'm sorry… you're not good for me.

That simple line snuck its way into my mind and made me gasp. The glass in my hand fell back into the sink with a loud clank.

Oh no… Bella, please get over him, I thought.

It was easy for me to use my anger as a mask for my pain but deep down inside, no matter how hard I tried to deny it, I loved Edward. The fact that he'd left was still eating away at my insides. My anger could cover that fact up but it couldn't erase it.

Please get over him, I thought again, blinking back tears. My mind drifted to the day I'd first opened my heart up to him.

I sat on the bleachers after school, my legs curled under me. Thoughts were spinning through my mind so fast I thought I'd go crazy. Everything in my life looked so easy on the outside while I was breaking apart on the inside. The walls I was using to mask my pain were exhausting and all I wanted was to yell at something… punch something. I wanted to cry out and curse the universe for all the pain it was causing me. Everything from losing Renee to losing David seemed unfair to me. The poor bastard had dumped me one morning, just to get himself killed that same evening. Clearly, the world was not on my side.

Although all this was going on in my mind, I seemed pretty calm on the outside. I flipped through the pages of the novel in my hand, not totally processing anything I read. Suddenly, out of nowhere…

"Nice place to think, huh?"

I froze, biting down on my tongue. I knew that voice oh so well. It was the Cullen kid after whom every girl in the school was drooling over. What did he want with me? Hadn't I pushed him away enough times already? Not that I didn't want him in my life, I just couldn't take the pain of losing anyone else.

I turned to look at him and found him looking straight at me.

"What do you want?" I asked quietly, trying to keep my head.

"Why do you keep pushing me away, Bella?" he asked, ignoring my question.

Well, if that's how he wanted it, two could play that game.

"Why can't you just leave me alone, Edward? I countered.

"Bella, please?" he whispered.

"Please, what, Edward?" I asked, my voice going up a notch.

"All I want is a chance."

"A chance at what?!"

"Your heart," he stated softly.

"Edward, I already told you that…"

"That you can't," he said, cutting me off.

"Then what else do you want from me, Edward?

"Why, Bella?" he asked, ignoring my question, yet again.

That was the moment when I snapped. All the hurt and the pain I'd been holding on to came crashing to the surface. The chance to vent that I'd been looking for was finally here.

"You want to know why? I'll tell you why. Every person I ever loved or trusted in my life let me down. They either broke my heart or walked away. Mom decided to give up on me and David simply got himself killed. Every time I put my heart on the line, I end up crushed. Every time I give the world a chance, I end up hurt. Do you get the picture now? I can't give you a chance Edward. How in the world can I be sure that you won't simply walk away from me like everyone else? How do I know that I won't spend days curled up in a corner trying to erase your image out of my head. How do I know that you won't get yourself killed like the rest of the people I loved? Edward how do I know I won't end up feeling stupid for letting you in. As twisted as the situation is and as hard as I've pushed you away, I love you, but I can't let…"

The rest of my words were cut off as Edward held me by the waist and brought his lips down to mine in a gentle kiss. At that moment, I realized how true my words were. I loved him. I was simply scared of what would happen if I opened my heart up to him.

The universe disappeared at that moment and all that mattered was Edward's lips on mine. His lips were soft and gentle, but the hand on my waist held me like a vice, as if he was afraid that if he let me go, he would lose me forever. I brought my hand up to his chest and pushed him gently.

"Edward, I…" I started.

"You love me, Bella," he mumbled, his lips barely touching mine.

I nodded and opened my mouth to say something but he cut me off.

"And I love you… that's all that matters."

"Edward, you have no idea exactly how broken I am inside," I argued, knowing I'd already lost.

"I do, and I love you just as you are, all of you, with the pain and the anger and everything in you. I love you"

Once again, his lips were on mine. This time, I didn't try to fight him off. I wrapped my hands around his neck and threw myself into the kiss with all that I had left.

After all that, Edward had left me. Now that my anger was pushed aside, the pain was unbearable. I recalled all the good times we'd had, all the dreams I'd had. I recalled every fight, every kiss, and every promise we ever made. Everything was so clear in my mind that it blurred the rest of the world out. I had to get over him. I didn't know if I wanted to, but I knew that I had to. I didn't have a choice. If I didn't, I would die. I knew that all to well.

I wiped a tear away on my sleeve and sniffed, turning back to the dirty dishes. I tried my best to block Edward out of my mind as I finished cleaning up. With a heavy heart, I dragged myself up the stairs and into the shower. By the time I got into my bed, I'd reconstructed the anger walls around me and was ready to face the world once more.

Despite the tough act, it's pretty clear that Bella is still hurting.

Please tell me what you think...