Hello! I'm so sorry I'm so late posting this chapter. I had so many assignments to do before college ended and work also. However college has now ended which means I can focus on this.

This chapter is in Blaine's perspective and is quite short. I just wanted to introduce Blaine back into the story in this chapter, so next chapter will be longer. It'll be written in Blaine's perspective for quite a few chapters now.

Enjoy!

Chapter 10

Staring up at the apartment he and Kurt shared together for such a short length of time made him realise how much he had lost and how much had been taken away from him. For two days he had been sitting watching the apartment building, completely invisible to everyone around. He had to watch his fiancé leave to go to his funeral, his Kurt unrecognisable as he walked slowly to the black car, shaking in his dad's arms. His mother looked just as broken as she followed behind Kurt, his dad's arms wrapped securely around her as he guided her to the car.

It was then that he realised that he didn't have a life; that it had been taken away from him just because someone wanted his wallet. Because of one man he would never be able to hold Kurt in his arms or remind him every day how special he is. He would never be able to watch Kurt walk down the aisle towards him on their wedding day and say the vows that promised to love one another. All their hopes and dreams were never going to come true because of one man and a gun. He only hoped that Kurt wouldn't give up on them just because he wouldn't be able to accomplish them with the man he loved. He knew Kurt was a strong person but as Mr Schue had taught them whilst they were still in high school, that each person has something that may push them over the edge and Blaine just hoped that just because his life had ended Kurt's life wouldn't be over also.

This just kept repeating in his mind over and over, going around like a never ending cycle. He had finally managed to get into his and Kurt's apartment and was now sitting on the couch staring at the canvas that hung above the fire place. They both looked so happy wrapped in each other's arms; how he wished he could do that now, to hold Kurt in his arms would be like finding a missing puzzle piece and fitting it back together.

He was all of a sudden drawn away from the canvas, as he heard the apartment door closing. He didn't need to turn around to know who it was, as he knew that Kurt's family had left the day before leaving Kurt to get used to being alone. Blaine listened to the soft tapping of feet come closer, until they stopped just behind him.
He slowly turned around and what he saw ripped him apart. Kurt was unrecognisable. His usual sparkling eyes now resembled a stormy grey sky, with no hope of light. His clothes hung off his slight frame, drowning his body and hiding his stunning figure. No thought had gone into the ensemble of clothes that had been so disastrously put together. Nothing matched and everything was far too big for him and oversized. Blaine didn't want to believe that the person standing in front of him was the feisty, fashion conscious, gorgeous man that he loved. The only thing that Blaine recognised of his fiancé was the ring that still was on his engagement finger.

Kurt remained still, his pained eyes staring at the canvas that held a happy memory, a memory of them both happy and together. The keys that were in his hand jingled together as he stroked his thumb harshly over the shiny metal, unaware of his actions. Blaine wanted more than anything to take Kurt in his arms and hold him with the intention of never letting go, but how could he do that when Kurt didn't even know he was in the same room as him.

He watched as his fiancé turned away from the canvas and sat down on one of the chairs, resting his elbows on the table and running his fingers through his unruly hair. Blaine listened intently as Kurt spoke to what he thought was an empty room. He spoke so quietly but with the silence of the room Blaine could hear every word.

"When is this going to get better?" He spoke, his head buried in his hands. "Blaine I really don't think I can do this. I picked up your shirt this morning, the white one that you always liked to wear for work. I don't even know why I did" He took a deep breath and raised his head to look at the ceiling. Blaine wished that Kurt knew he was there, that Blaine could hear everything he was saying.

"Mr Reynolds who lives next door said to say hello to you today, I think he was shocked when I started to cry. I could tell he wasn't used to comforting people, he just kept rubbing my back." His forehead creased as he thought about what to say next. Blaine just wanted him to say anything; it had been so long that he had heard Kurt's beautiful sweet voice.

"I miss you baby. Everywhere I go somehow reminds me of you, my every step traces a path that we've already made." Kurt started to cry. Blaine just sat on the couch feeling so useless. "Blaine, you took my life, my dreams, my world with you and I can't come to terms that I'm never going to get it back. A life without you is a life that isn't worth living. I keep thinking that you're going to walk through the door; everyone says that it's all in my head but they don't understand that I just can't accept it yet. Thinking that you may come back is the only thing that's keeping me alive."

Blaine slowly stood up and walked over to where Kurt was sitting and knelt down beside him, just wanting to be close to his love. He watched as Kurt's clasped hands shook, matching his body that was shaking from the sobs that he was making.

"My baby, my sweet, sweet baby," Blaine whispered, wanting Kurt to be able to hear his words. He placed his hand next to Kurt's, wishing that his fingers could touch the soft skin that he had such enjoyment in touching.

He watched Kurt's lips as Kurt continued with his heart wrenching speech.

"Those unfinished conversations we used to have still speak to me and I know I'm being silly but I write you letters every day Blaine, which I'll never send and you'll never see. But writing the letters comforts me, it's as though you've just gone away for a while and you're coming back. Blaine I just want you to come home," he sobbed as he heaved himself off the chair and kneeled on the floor, so close to Blaine who was still positioned on the floor. "I want you to come home baby, I want to hold you and to tell you that I love you and for you to say ditto." Blaine looked down to the floor unable to watch Kurt in such a state and not able to do anything about it.

Pain seared through his body as he all of a sudden remembered that he never actually told Kurt he loved him, he always said ditto, and now he realised that it really wasn't the same as saying those three words. If only he could turn back time and tell Kurt over and over that he loved him and always would.

"I love you Blaine," Kurt whispered, gripping his cardigan in his hands and rocking backwards and forwards.

"I love you Kurt" Blaine whispered back. Why had he had such a problem with saying those words when he was alive Blaine thought? He watched as Kurt lowered himself to the hard, cold floor and closed his eyes, letting the last of the tears dry on his face as he drifted into a restless sleep.

Blaine felt so helpless, he wished he could lift Kurt in his arms and gently put him in bed, where he would be more comfortable and warm instead of a cold hard floor. He felt so angry with everything. He was angry that someone thought they had the right to take his life away, he was also angry that he had been left on this earth unable to touch anything and to have to watch the love of his life so helpless and unable to do anything about it.

He stood up and made his way to his and Kurt's bedroom, just wanting to see the room that held such happy and blissful memories. He stood in the doorway casting his eyes around the room, surprised at how it looked. He was expecting the room that he knew so well, to have changed, any memory that he once shared the bed that was positioned in the middle of the room to have gone. But instead what he found was everything that he remembered and all his belongings exactly how he left them that fateful night. His watch still sat on the bedside table, which he had forgotten to wear that night, his cologne still positioned by Kurt's on the dressing table along with his moisturiser which was overshadowed by Kurt's extensive range of products. His blue silk scarf, which Kurt had bought him for Christmas still hung over the dressing table mirror, all his harry potter books still sat on the bookshelf, which he was happy about.

It was then that he realised that Kurt really hadn't let go, nothing had changed, and it was as though he still lived there. Everything was in the exact same place, except the little golden retriever toy dog Kurt had given him at high school which now sat on the bed. Blaine knew that it was most probably some comfort to Kurt and so he slept with it by his side. It's something he would have done. He wandered back out to the lounge and saw that Kurt was still asleep, curled into a tight ball and breathing heavily. He sat down beside him and leaned his head on his hand as he watched Kurt sleep. He hoped the nightmare that was now Kurt's life didn't continue in his dreams; he hoped that life was better when he closed his eyes.

"My poor baby," he whispered. He knew that there was no point whispering, he could shout and Kurt would still be unable to hear his voice. "I'm going to make sure that whoever did this to us gets what he deserves I just need to find a way. There's always a way. Please stay strong Kurt because I know that you'll be able to get through this as you are the strongest person I know." Kurt's eyes remained closed and his breathing stayed heavy. "I love you Kurt Hummel, I just wished that you had heard those words come from my mouth. I would give anything for you to hear me say the words that I know mean so much to you." He looked at Kurt's sleeping form once more before standing up. "I'm going to find help baby, just hold on. Please hold on." He whispered the last part; it really was painful to think that Kurt may not get through this. He slowly walked to the door and looked back at the most important person in his life and blew a kiss. He reluctantly turned away and faced the door.

He knew that he could walk through doors, but he had never had the courage to do that. But seeing Kurt had given him a fresh dose of determination and with Kurt at the front of his mind he managed to easily pass straight through the door, which found him standing in the hallway of the apartment complex.

He knew he needed to find help, but the hard part was that no one could see him, however with the hope and determination charging through his veins he knew that he would find a way.
It was whilst standing, looking down the long hallway that led to the elevator that an idea came to him. When he was alive he never really believed in being able to get in touch with the spiritual world, but know it was his only hope. He just needed to find a psychic.

You know what that means... Next chapter Oda Mae Brown is introduced! I love that woman! I highly recommend you listen to 'with you' from Ghost the Musical as I can imagine Kurt singing it when he's talking to Blaine, also I got some of the words written in this chapter from the song.

Until next time... Reviews make me happy! Thank you! xxx