Warmth in the Winter
Chapter ten:
I don't own anything.
{The Quotes will never have anything to actually do with the story, they are just there}
Quote: "He's so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor." - Paddy O'Dea
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"Sam so help me god I will drag you out of here and sedate you if you don't get some sleep!" the doctor finally snapped.
Sam's head turned towards the doctor's form in the doorway before slowly turning back towards Dean.
He had hardly slept in fifteen days, and obviously it was starting to show.
"Look, I'll leave him when he's-"
"ASLEEP? Awake? Because no matter what you're always with him! Just get some sleep, I'll put a baby monitor in here so you can listen! But get some sleep!"
Sam thought about that for a second. With a baby monitor he could listen and he would know if Dean was asleep or awake.
"Alright, I guess I can sleep if you can get me a baby monitor." He finally agreed.
"Thank you!" he gasped exaggerated.
Sam slowly stood up and looked longingly one more time at Dean before leaving the room with the doc.
"Okay, here we go, one baby monitor and one bed. Just what the doctor ordered." The doc said smirking slightly.
"Here, drink this would ya?" he said holding out a glass of water.
Sam nodded and took the cup before drinking it down and handing it back to the doc. It only took ten seconds for him to fall back and collapse onto the bed, completely passed out.
"Damn idiot." He muttered before shutting the monitor off and leaving the room.
He slowly walked into Dean's room to see him sitting up and writing something inside a book.
"What you got there?" he asked walking over to him.
In two seconds flat the book was stuffed under Dean's butt and the pencil was on the nightstand.
"Alright, I can take a hint, I'm unwanted here." He said smiling anyway.
Dean leaned back and eyed the doctor before speaking.
"So, I hear Sam was just drugged, I figure, I have ten hours with him passed out?" he asked casually.
"How'd you hear that?" the doctor asked shocked.
"I have a baby monitor in my room, I think you put the wrong ones in the wrong rooms. I could hear you talking in here and then in Sam's room. And I watched you put some drops in his water a few minutes ago."
The doctor blushed slightly at being caught and messing up the monitors but didn't apologize.
"That boy hasn't slept in two weeks, he NEEDS to sleep. He's running himself into the ground watching you, taking care of you, helping you. Anything you need or want you name it, he'll get it for you. No matter what it is he'll get it."
Dean felt slightly guilty at this but quickly squished down the uncommon feeling.
"So, are you talking to me and Bobby again?" he asked conversationally.
"I was never REALLY ignoring you two, I was just mildly pissed that you thought you had the right to hide something from me that had to do with my body and what's going on. You really didn't have any right."
And dammit, he was right and the doc knew it.
This time the doc had the sense to look sorry and he apologized for keeping it from him.
"Anyway, with Sam not here for the rest of the day, I don't have an interpreter and I'm not just going to sit in silence."
The doctor laughed at that. So it had nothing to do with him forgiving them, he just didn't want to sit in silence. Just like a Winchester.
"So, have you thought about what's coming up?" the doc hedged after a second.
"Don't you dare say another apocalypse is coming because I will kill you right now." Dean warned.
God, he had already died two hundred times, stopped one apocalypse, been tortured for ten months of his life, four of those months were in hell. If the angels started screwing around again he would just kill himself, go to heaven, then kill all the angels himself; they were staring to get on his nerves.
The doctor actually laughed at what he said. And just like a true hunted his mind is always on the fight and not the date.
"No Dean, tomorrow is your birthday."
Dean jerked back and looked as if he had been scandalized.
"Excuse me?" he asked leaning forward slightly with a look of absolute shock on his face.
"Your birthday, its tomorrow." He said confused.
"Look, I'm not sure if you know this, but the last time I celebrated my birthday was when I was four, that's twenty five years, I really don't plan on having birthday bashes now."
"Look, all I'm saying is Sam isn't gonna let this go either. He's gonna get you something and if you don't want us to embarrass you just tell us a couple of things you want."
Dean thought for a second, what did he need?
"Well, I could use some more cleaning supplies for my guns, I think I've just about used up all mine, I need some more rope, a couple more knives, you said my things were in the car so I should still have all my weapons but I want to get a few more incase-"
"Dean, what do you WANT, not need. What is it that you want?"
"World Peace" he said sarcastically.
"Don't tell that to Sam, he'll go out and try to get you your world peace."
Dean snorted his agreement and leaned back smiling.
"I wouldn't mind a Barbie and pink wand."
The doc stared at him, mouth slightly open "Okay, back on the meds" he said smiling.
Dean laughed with the doc before looking up at the ceiling.
"I wouldn't mind my laptop."
"Alright, I'll get it from your car, but think about the things you want before I get back."
Dean saluted him before looking back up and closing his eyes.
What did he want? He had never asked for anything, he always asked what Sammy wanted, what did Sam want, what did Sam need, what did his dad want, what did his dad need, what did the people they were helping want, what did they need, and what did he have to do to get those people what they wanted and needed?
He had never really sat down and wrote a god damn Christmas list or had a birthday party.
Sure he did little things for Sam every year for Christmas and birthdays, but that was it.
What did he want?
The car was fine, he wasn't supposed to ask for something related to hunting, but, that was his whole life.
Maybe an iPod? Sam seemed to like his; he could ask for one of those with some good download sites so he could get all of his music.
Or maybe a new laptop? No he didn't need a new one, or an iPod, he had cassettes.
Wait, he wasn't supposed to be thinking about what he needed; right… damn.
"Here you go." The doc said walking in holding a slim black laptop.
"Thanks man, I don't think I've ever been this happy." He said sarcastically.
The doctor just rolled his eyes and set it up on Deans lap and plugged it into the wall charger.
"Think of some things while I make you something to eat."
Dean nodded absentmindedly as the doc left and he typed in his password.
The first thing he noticed was a pop up.
He clicked it and opened it slightly shocked, he never got pop ups.
"Warning!" he clicked on the tab and read through the information.
Apparently, people had tried getting onto his laptop, but it was locked and they didn't know the password.
So they kept trying different things but couldn't figure it out.
Then finally they tried hacking into it; but they hadn't expected Sam to back it all up so they still couldn't get on.
What would they want with his laptop? All he did on it was research hunts and watch porn… speaking of porn, come to daddy!
He opened the web browser and quickly typed in Busty Asian Beauties, rubbing his hands together in anticipation.
He smirked as the screen changed and he immediately clicked on the button stating he was eighteen or older then the enter button.
His eyes widened and he licked his lips at the first thing showed on the screen
"Baby I've missed you" he whispered rubbing the screen affectionately before clicking on a video and leaning back.
"Dean i was-"
Bobby froze, mouth hanging open as he looked at Dean.
Dean was leaning back against the bed smirking at his laptop, and coming from the laptop was porn.
At least he wasn't actually doing anything.
"Are you watching porn in my house?" Bobby asked incredulously.
"You can strip me of my free will, my pride, hell even my life, but you can NOT take away my porn." He said without glancing at Bobby.
Bobby rubbed a hand over his face. Only a Winchester.
"Boy, I was going to ask you about tomorrow-"
Dean slapped the laptop closed and turned a glare onto the older man.
"Why is everyone asking me about that! I don't care about it!" he snapped.
"Look, you may not care about your birth, but some of us do-"
"Bobby, I'm dead!" he yelled.
"What do you mean?" he asked confused.
"Well for starters, I don't think my birthday counts anymore, I've died so many times already. And two, as long as I have this god damn shifter juice in me, I can't change, which means I'm not aging. So I'm actually not going to be a year older because I'm six months behind!"
Bobby stared at Dean hard for a few seconds and he hated to admit it but the boy was right, he most likely hadn't been aging for the past six months, and even now with it still in him.
"I don't care, it's still your birth DAY, it doesn't matter if you're alive, dead, or in between, it's still the DAY."
Dean leaned back, then nodded once to him.
Bobby nodded back before walking further into the room.
"So tell me, what do you want?"
Dean laughed humorlessly and Bobby scowled.
"I have no idea Bobby, I guess an iPod but I don't really listen to music."
Bobby nodded "it doesn't matter if ya use it, it just matters that you don't need it and you're getting it."
Dean laughed slightly, birthdays were so weird.
Bobby smiled at the young man before leaving again, only to have the doc walk right in with a tray of food.
"It's more like brunch now, but whatever."
Dean slid the laptop down to the foot of the bed and held the tray on his lap thinking.
"Oh, could you call Bobby back in here? I forgot to mention something."
"Sure, one second."
Dean only had to wait seconds before Bobby was back in the room.
"What's up boy?" he asked sitting in the chair by his bed.
"I just wanted to say that while I was… away, they um, they tried to break into my laptop. I got a notification saying that people were trying to hack in, and they were trying to guess my passwords, but they couldn't get in so they just ditched it."
"What were they looking for?" Bobby asked shocked and confused.
"You got me, Sam, or, um, the shifter, he was always using Sam's laptop, I never let Sam use mine so it makes sense that he wouldn't know my password. But I don't know what they were looking for."
"But, they just took you to get even, what could they want with that? Besides porn?" he asked smiling slightly before getting serious again.
"Wait, I think I heard someone downstairs talking about something like that. I think it was Julie, she was talking about how none of this made sense and they would have needed an ulterior motive."
Dean looked up panicked but quickly schooled his features again.
"What do you mean?" he asked feigning confused.
"Well, she said that the way the other side was acting, it wasn't normal, even for them. She said that anyone that told where you were would be killed, not sent back, but killed. And she said that every monster in America, heck in the world was trying to get in with what was going on with you, and they were all stopping hunters from getting to you.
She also said that she could understand how everyone would want a piece of you considering how many things you've killed; but it just doesn't make sense, they would have to have a meaning behind it all.
Like they were trying to find something, or get something. And now that you just said the whole thing about the laptop, it does seem like they wanted something more than just you."
"Oh, just me? Is that all I am?" Dean snapped glaring at Bobby and crossing his arms.
"Oh come on, you know I didn't mean it like that-"
"Then how did you mean it Bobby? Because from what I can see-"
"Boy! Yeah, you're right, you have gone through more than any of us here, put together then times a thousand. But do not talk to me like I don't care for ya!"
Dean's glare softened until he was just staring at the bed sheets and he glowered a bit.
"Look, all I was trying to say is that they did want you, but they also wanted something else."
"Well, they did mention... no, never mind." He said quickly.
The doctor and Bobby both stared at him hard.
"Boy, what are you hiding?" Bobby asked after a second.
"Nothing, I'm not hiding anything." He said quickly, panicked.
"Dean…"
"NOTHING!" he yelled scooting back as much as he could.
"Dean, calm down, calm down!" Bobby said quickly, standing up with the doctor and going over to him.
"NEVER! I WONT SAY YES!" he screamed, falling off the right side of the bed and onto his butt, still in a sitting up position.
"Dean!" they both yelled going to the other side of the bed.
"I WON'T! NEVER!" He yelled crawling away.
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Sam stirred slightly in his bed; he could practically feel the panic in him, though it wasn't his.
He rolled over, something churning in his stomach, something that he did not like the feeling of.
"I WON'T! NEVER!" someone yelled.
He groaned and rolled over again, what was that noise? And why wouldn't it stop?
"DON'T TOUCH ME! SAM! PLEASE STOP! Sam!" someone screamed, crying at the end.
Sam jerked up, his mind felt slow, foggy, heavy.
He stood up and slowly walked into the room where the racket was coming from.
Dean was cowering in a corner, and Bobby and the doctor were both leaning over him trying to help him up and calm him down.
"EVERYBODY KNOCK IT OFF!" he finally yelled.
Everyone froze, Dean cowered back and whimpered. He dragged himself across the room and over to the three men.
He lowered his hand and opened it, palm up for Dean to take.
After a very long wait Dean timidly outstretched his hand and put it in Sam's.
Sam hoisted Dean up and sat him down firmly onto the bed before pushing him back so he was laying on his back.
"Now shut the fuck up and let me get some sleep." He snapped before throwing himself on Dean's side and promptly falling back asleep.
Everyone stood frozen, slightly confused, and a little humored.
"Dean, are you okay?" Bobby finally asked quietly.
"I'm sorry, I just, I lost it for a second, I don't know what happened." He said rubbing his face, and pointedly not looking down at the bed where Sam lay on his left.
"You started yelling, no and never, that you wouldn't say yes, what were you talking about?" the doc asked.
"I don't feel much like talking right now, maybe later' I just want to sleep." He said, body wracked with suppressed sobs.
"Alright, we'll carry Sam-"
"JUST GO!" he snapped turning his head and wiping his eyes quickly.
Bobby and the doc left after a lot of contemplating, leaving Sam on one side of the bed.
Dean quickly sank down so he was flat like Sam and pulled the blankets up over their heads crying quietly.
He was shocked when an arm went around his waist and pulled him into a warm body but didn't fight in fear he would wake him up.
"Shhh" Sam whispered quietly.
Dean slowly began relaxing in Sam's arms, he wasn't sure if Sam was awake or not, but he was almost positive he was still asleep.
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Sam peaked an eye open, exhausted and feeling groggy, he had never felt like this; he supposed this was how you felt right before you fell asleep from being sedated; and if he had been rational he would have realized the doc had slipped him something to make him sleep but he just smiled dopily and wrapped an arm around the body in front of him and pressed himself to their back.
Not caring who they were and only liking the warmth coming from them.
But it wasn't long before he realized the person was shaking from crying "Shhh" he whispered rubbing his hand on someone's clothed stomach; which felt oddly strong and defined to be a woman's… but whatever.
And before he knew what was happening he was falling back to sleep.
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The first thing that registered in Dean's mind was that he was being watched. The second was that there was something, or someone warm pressed up behind him and an arm was slung over his hips and a hand was resting on his stomach. The third was that he was not freaking out which meant two things. He had finally cracked, or the person behind him was Sam.
He was seriously hoping it was the first option.
He slowly leaned back and closed his eyes and he was pressed against a body. Which meant he wasn't crazy and this was a body, and it was Sam's.
He pulled in a couple of deep breaths before turning his head. Except he didn't flinch.
He watched Sam's face as he slept, honest to god peaceful expression, no stress, worry, nightmares, just, peace.
And god damn if that wasn't the nicest expression he had ever seen on his brothers face then he didn't know what was.
"You okay Dean? Want me to take him out for now?" a voice asked from a rocking chair in the corner of the room.
Dean laid his head back down and held his breath. Dear god, the doc and Bobby had been taking shifts and had seen him snuggling with a dude. He would never live this down.
"Can you help me sit up?" he whispered trying not to wake Sam.
He listened as there were some creaks and then the doc was on his side of the bed- well it wasn't like this was his side of the bed and Sam always took the other side, because he didn't. It wasn't, it's not, he never, oh god!
The doc slowly pulled Sam's arm off of him then helped him into a sitting position so he was leaning on the pillows and head board.
"You want to go sit by the window in a chair?" the doc asked after much contemplation.
Dean's head snapped up and he stared at the doc before nodding his head and slowly taking the blankets off of his body but leaving them on Sam.
The doc stood back as Dean very slowly dragged his legs over the side of the bed until his feet were resting on the floor and he planted his hands firmly on the edge of the mattress.
He pushed his body up and staggered forward slightly but the doctor caught him.
"Easy now, take it-"
But Dean didn't wait for his comment to finish because he was pushing away from him and walking towards the window where there was a small rocking chair.
He looked back at the bed before walking to it and grabbing his pillows and one throw blanket then making his way back over to the window.
He placed the pillow on the seat of the chair then slowly sat down on it. He snuggled until he was comfortable then he tucked himself into the blanket and turned the chair so his back was to the bed and he was looking out the window and down at his baby parked with all the other cars.
"It's almost ten (pm), Sam will be waking up soon, when you want to go back to the bed just get help from someone." He whispered before walking out.
Dean leaned back in the chair and began rocking slowly.
He laid his head back and closed his eyes, imagining he was small again, sitting in his moms lap while she rocked him in their old rocker that used to be in his room before it was moved to Sammy's.
He pictured his mom running her hand through his hair and singing to him softly, rocking him to sleep after a cookie and glass of milk.
He ignored the tears that slipped down his face and continued with the memory.
Then, baby Sammy would cry from his room, and dad would bring him in to see his mommy, and Dean would get to hold his little brother and smile up at his two parents and would proclaim "look mommy, I'm taking care of Sammy! He loves me!"
And his mom would say "that's right baby, Sammy loves you, and daddy loves you, and mommy loves you. We all love you very much."
And he would smile down at Sam's cute little chubby face and wiggle his finger in front of it then Sam would reach out with one chubby hand and grab hold of his finger.
And when he woke up, he wouldn't remember falling asleep, or going to bed, or being tucked in, or when his parents left with Sammy, but he would wake up and run to Sam's crib.
Once he saw Sammy was still there, and he was okay he would go in his room and play with his toy truck and soldiers while his mom sang and cooked pancakes.
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Sam watched from the still warm bed as Dean rocked himself in the chair near the window, that he had sat in for days trying to get Dean's approval.
And his heart tore in half as tears dripped from his eyes and down his face.
He didn't have the heart to call out or disturb whatever thoughts he was having so he just laid back down and watched him from the bed.
A number of things were going through his mind.
One, why was it dark, he distinctly remembered passing out in the room across the hall and saying he would only take a quick nap, but that was in the morning.
Two, he was in Dean's bed, and he knew for a fact Dean had just left the bed when he woke up, and he tried very hard not to wake him up.
Three, Dean was crying, he was crying and he had a small smile on his face and Sam hated to see him like this even if he was smiling.
And finally, Dean's birthday was tomorrow, he hadn't gotten him anything, he didn't know what he wanted, and he didn't even know what to do.
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So there goes another chapter, tomorrow is the birthday! And it is also the day when i finally tell you all what the big secret is.
Please REVIEW and tell me what you thought of it! And remember, please be nice, i'm no J.K. Rowling or Eric Kripke.
Suggestions for future chapters are welcome
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