BROKEN PROMISES
CHAPTER TEN

Friday morning – 5:44 am – Q Bureau

Francine tapped on the Q Bureau door twice then opened it slowly. She saw Billy and Amanda seated on the small couch holding each other and suddenly, she felt like a stranger intruding on a private moment. There was no doubt that she loved Lee too, but something about seeing Amanda and Billy sharing their grief made her feel like she did not belong. She mustered the courage to enter.

Francine cleared her throat ever so softly. Billy and Amanda looked up. "Thought I would find you two up here," she awkwardly tried to normalize the moment. Billy sheepishly nodded and grinned while Amanda rose and walked towards the vault trying to compose herself in Francine's presence.

Looking between the both of them, she continued, "uh … they're ready for you Billy."

"Okay, thanks." Billy rose and walked towards Amanda, who still had her back to them. "Amanda," he announced so not to startle her, "are you sure you want to do this now? I'm sure you have a lot of questions," he approached closer and lightly touched her on the shoulder, "maybe we should talk first and then you can see him later …"

Amanda finally turned to face him almost as if in slow motion. Other than her face being flushed, she seemed calm and collected once more. Her transformation both startled and concerned Billy.

"Yes sir," she squeaked out, "I want to see him now," she firmly concluded.

"Alright Amanda," he held out his hand to her, "let's go." She reached out and took it and he tucked her small fingers into the bend of his arm then turned to face Francine.

"You coming Francine," Billy asked.

"Uh … no," she said. Amanda might have been ready for this moment, but Francine certainly was not. Lee was family. He was like a brother to her and at one point, had even been much more. They had grown-up in the business together. While she had been trained to deal with death and the loss of a colleague, she had no idea how to say good-bye to a loved one.

"I'll just stay here … give you some time alone with him," she managed to finish. Billy nodded silently at her and started for the door, knowing that this was hard on her as well. Amanda gently tugged Billy to a stop. She looked at Francine with a sorrowful expression and smiled. She knew how much Lee meant to her; they shared a lasting friendship too. For a moment, in true Amanda King fashion, she pushed her heartache aside to consider Francine's grief. The intensity she saw in Francine's steel blue eyes was overwhelming and she was overcome with compassion. She threw her arms around the woman's neck and held her tightly. Under any other circumstance, Francine would have protested such an act, but not today. She met Amanda's intensity and audible sighed. Billy diverted his head in sadness.

After a few seconds, the women let go and Amanda gave Francine a weak smile. She took Billy's arm once more and the two left the office.

Francine stood there, arms dangling restlessly by her side. She looked around the Q Bureau. The silence was deafening to her. She spotted the cup inscribed with Lee's name sitting on his desk and slowly inhaled, then exhaled, as a lone tear gradually rolled down her cheek, instantly chased by another.

She wiped under her eye with the knuckle of her index finger and sighed. She turned and headed for the door. As she turned off the lights, she looked back over her shoulder to see a beam from the morning sunlight shining through the window, casting an angelic haze over his desk and chair. "Ci mancherai*," she whispered as she slowly closed the door.

[*Italian for "you will be missed"]

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Amanda and Billy rode down in the elevator to the morgue in silence. Even though Amanda had insisted upon seeing Lee, she still felt uneasy at the thought of seeing her husband in his current state. Billy never let go of Amanda's hand the whole time they were in the elevator. It was unclear whether he did so to provide her support or vise versa.

The elevator came to a gentle stop and the doors opened. The two companions exited and proceeded down a small corridor to a door marked "Morgue." Amanda silently inhaled, bracing herself for what she expected to encounter on the other side. But, what she saw when Billy opened the door was a relief.

The waiting room was warm and inviting. It actually reminded her of her dentist's reception room, with the comfortable furniture, soft yellow lighting and earth tone colored walls and carpet.

A slender man with a receding hairline and glasses rose from the small desk in front of them. "Hello Billy," he said as he rounded the reception desk to approach them; he outstretched his hand towards the Section Chief. "Hello Dr. Gilbert," Billy responded in kind.

Dr. Gilbert looked over at Amanda who was looking past him to the seemingly non-descript door, beyond which was the Agency morgue and the room that held the body of her beloved husband. "Hello Mrs. King," he said in a low, monotone voice, trying to be sensitive to her situation. Those words echoed in her mind … 'Mrs. King … Mrs. King. But I'm not Mrs. King, really. I haven't been Mrs. King for a very long time,' she thought. 'No, I'm Mrs. Stetson … Mrs. Lee Stetson,' her heart ached at those words, '…and I'm about to enter that room and say good-bye to husband for the very last time.'

At that mental realization, Amanda felt like turning around and running as fast as she could, but something insider her said, 'what would Lee do if that was you in there?' so she found the strength to stay.

Amanda faintly heard someone calling her name. That's when she realized that she had zoned out for a moment. She snapped back just in time to see an alarmed Mr. Melrose and Dr. Gilbert trying to get her attention.

"Mrs. King, are you alright?" "Amanda, can you hear me?" The two men spoke in unison.

"Yes, sorry. I guess I was lost in thought," she replied with embarrassment.

Billy's forehead crinkled as he regarded her with concern. "Amanda, maybe we should reconsider," Billy asked.

"No, I'm fine sir … really. I was just thinking. Really, I'm fine," she said again.

"Okay. Well Mr. Stetson is ready for you," Dr. Gilbert declared. "I will leave you two alone with him, but just call if you need anything. I will be out in the hallway," he nodded at both parties before exiting the office.

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The door closed and Amanda and Billy found themselves alone yet again. Billy looked over at Amanda and she returned his gaze. They both were a little weak in the knees but Amanda was determined and Billy was not going to leave her side. He knew Scarecrow would have wanted him there with her.

"Ready," he asked. She swallowed hard as she looked at him. "Ready sir," she answered. Billy stepped in front of her and held the door open for her. Amanda slowly walked past him. He followed her in and allowed the recoil hinge of the door to gradually close it behind him.

The room was cold, bright and felt hollow, a stark difference from the warm, inviting reception area they had just left. It was large and the walls were lined with brushed steel cabinets and counters. In the middle was a lone metal table with wheels that held the remains of the fallen agent. He was covered from the neck down with an oversized sterile white sheet and a piercing white light shone down on him.

Amanda stood there, only inches from where she had entered the room, and regarded him. He looked like he was sleeping; like she could just call his name and he would rise to greet her. For a brief moment, she considered doing just that, but she knew it would not produce the outcome she hoped for. Besides, she did not want to give Mr. Melrose another reason to worry about her.

At this thought, she looked over her shoulder at him. Billy had positioned himself against the wall next to the door and was staring at his friend. He felt Amanda's eyes upon him and turned to catch her gaze. She mustered a half smile that he returned before lowering his eyes. She watched him retreat into himself then looked away to regard her husband once more.

Amanda timidly approached Lee; her heart pounding in her chest, her body tingling. As she came closer, the familiar bruises and abrasions from the other day came into focus, but once she was standing beside him, she noticed new markings on his face – the deep gash diagonally placed across his forehead; the large purple discoloration on the left cheek; the dried blood at his hairline and in his hair. She took in a shaky breath and placed her hand over her mouth as tears began to fill her eyes.

She reached out with that same hand to caress the top of his head. She remembered how that gesture of love always relaxed him. With a unsteady hand, she reached down and took hold of the sheet to expose his hand.

"Amanda, don't pull back the sheet," Billy rattled off in a tone that startled her out of her reflection and caused her to turn around and look at him questioningly.

"He was injured pretty badly in the explosion," he said in a much calmer tone with an apologetic look on his face. Several tears fell from her eyes and she nodded in understanding.

"I just wanted to hold his hand," she said in a small, vulnerable voice.

"Sure." Billy was already beside her. He inched the sheet up just enough to expose Lee's left hand then stepped back to give her privacy.

He had always known Scarecrow and Mrs. King had a special relationship, something deep and meaningful; even though they got off to a rocky start. He had hoped that one day it would turn into love, and suspected that recently it had, so he would grant Amanda all the leeway she needed to get through this difficult time.

Amanda held Lee's hand – the strong hand that had reached out to protect her, support her and embrace her so many times before. But, it could no longer perform those simple gestures of love. Instead, it was lifeless and impersonal. And, the gesture that once told of his unspoken affection for her was now void of any response at all.

Amanda began to teeter. She heard what sounded like rushing waters in her ears and the room began to spin. As it dimmed, the last thing she heard was Billy yell, "Dr. Gilbert! We need a medic in here!" as she connected with the floor.

TBC