Chapter ten

Luce and Ombra, Ebony and Ivory

The morning is clouded and dreary. Dante's wary and tired. His rest is almost nonexistent because any hour that goes before the twelfth according to him is a very, very early morning. Most of it is spent in bed because he's too skittish to leave his no longer sacred sanctuary. Spending his time doing something that's far more agonizing than any physical pain now – thinking.

Everything that the half-blood's been so confused about: his own immovable perception, actions according to it and the fey situations – are all clear now as if on a cloudless day. And the revelation brings no joy, only a sickening feeling. He thinks he now knows all the reasons behind these twisted happenings. The half-breed repeats the saying 'ignorance is bliss' and finds it more than fucking true. Because when the dark clouds of confusion are blown away he doesn't feel any better. Just much, much worse.

The demon hunter doesn't feel the presence of the demoness in the building of the shop. That does not matter because if he exits his refugee it would not be the first if she just jumps out of some corner and he's none the wiser to foresee it.

He creeps in the house like a shadow, frightened by every sound. Wandering like a roach that's afraid to be squished. Breakfast – denied, the half-devil doesn't think that he could handle it now. The previous feeling is proven to be truthful – Trish is not in the dome. It's more than better this way, although he's had an epiphany it has nothing to do with making it doable to look her in the eyes. What if he does something unthinkable, what if he oversteps his boundaries, just like he wanted to last night? But this time the impulsive things are nowhere near those sinfully pleasing needs of before. They're just as difficult to deny, though.

Seating down onto the floor behind his desk he continues with thinking everything over. No, the truth won't disappear if he reviews it again and again, but there's nothing else to do. This is one of his safe-places, Hell no place is safe anymore. And it's not because of his partner. No, no place is safe from the undeniable truth. The half-blood takes shelter behind the office table anyway, as if the few wooden panels can save him from any unstoppable calamity of great measures.

The half-devil needs to reassure himself again. So he peers over the piece of furniture he's hiding against. Looking over to the coffee table by the couch and the wall his weaponry rests upon. Trish knows him well enough, so she's sure that he won't check her room to see whether everything is in place. The deviless loves her stuff so she shouldn't leave it behind if her leave is permanent. But he believes that it's just a superficial thing though. Should the need arise, the demonette will abandon her material possessions, she's not the type to be sentimental about anything.

The demoness had left to blow off steam. Atop the coffee table lie her guns – Luce and Ombra. On the wall his own – Ebony and Ivory are missing. That's the huntress's way of saying that she'll be back. Dante somehow feels that she's regretting this decision. Her assurance meant for him hinders her perfect image of independence. Now he knows exactly why she bothers and it's not an endearing reason in any sense.

Independence... That's what he tried to give her. Cutting his unconscious possessiveness to a minimum. In the end creating an illusionary sense of independence that he thinks she was well aware of, even if he wasn't.

It's not like the demon hunter hadn't had any pieces of the puzzle before, only that his mind had tried to cover-up the whole picture for his sake. Fuck, he is an egoistical bastard, it's just that this is a whole new level of that. His temporary peace of mind was created by overlooking something vastly more important than his inability of carrying such burdens. That was the reason his brain simply refused to ponder over the more than gloomy and fucked up reality. The hunter's happiness came first and the huntress's inner persona was shoved completely off the list. He only cared for the things he could mend, things he could provide. It shouldn't have been so! He shouldn't have been so superficial! But it just wasn't the case, now was it? He felt joy that she chose to tread this path together with him and everything that could have clouded that was simply ignored and overlooked.

The demonette's brain works differently than his, therefore she probably knew this all along. Otherwise why would she have stayed here for so long? Even the seemingly minuscule act of leaving her guns behind so obviously and taking his instead – it wasn't meant to calm her mind. No, it's all for him.

Dante swears out loud and fishes in the drawers of his desk. Taking out a bottle of vodka from one of them. This is too much for his sober mind to handle. There's a limit to his self-blame but it's been long since reached.

So where was he? Oh right... It's clear now, when he thinks about it, there really are no reasons for her to care for his sanity so much. Ah, but that's only if you scratch the surface and leave it be. In reality it's now quite so obvious why she chooses to do all the things that seem to contrast so brightly with her character.

Pride. That's a sin Trish possesses. Such a prideful creature couldn't for the sake of her just leave a debt unpaid. The half-breed knows how much she hates to have an unpaid debt. To her that's a tie, one that ties you down to the person you owe something. And for someone who values their freedom as much as her, such a bond is nothing short of a suffocating noose.

Dante has a perfect example of the deviless's way of repaying her debts, he had been and still is a recipient of it. Back then, not so long ago, on that godforsaken Mallet Island, he'd witnessed it. The half-blood was simply too stupid to fully comprehend the complex action at that time. He saved her life even as she was his enemy... A-and... And then... Trish sacrificed herself to save his reckless ass from Mundus. From an attack that would have rendered the demon hunter unable to continue, that is if he would have been able to survive it. It was only wishful thinking that had led the half-devil to believe for so long that it was an act based on some human nonsense: compassion, gratitude or whatever. It was simply her paying him back, no emotions behind it. An eye for an eye sort of thing. Perhaps there was also an unconscious want to die. Clearly she wasn't happy there – to put it in a childishly simple way. But it's not like the hunter can describe what the demoness felt.

And that isn't all though. By killing the demon-world overlord the demon hunter gave the demonette freedom, he gave her the choice to flee from her past existence. Oh and this thought is not for stroking his ego. No, he never gave killing Mundus much thought, but it's clear that Trish became and stayed his partner for a hefty reason. In her psyche that was probably it – paying him back. And well if it wasn't it, then the deviless should have left when the predicament ceased to bring mutual benefit. Dante's sure as hell he isn't hugely beneficial either, so there had to be more causes to it. Trish isn't masochistic enough to over-lengthen paying back what she thinks she owes. The half-blood believes she has done that ages ago (in her understanding, because in Dante's mind she had never owed him a damned thing). But it's foolish to believe a singular reason to be enough for anything the demoness does. She's too complex for any mind to even attempt to explain.

If his uses are only the meager things he provides her, then that's something she's more than capable of getting on her own. And if there's anything that's so special about him, then a short visit here and there would suffice. But no, Trish lives with him and all the other reasons behind it are more than painful to think about.

At the very beginning he was like a tourniquet for the huntress and that is why she followed him. But later the hunter's need for her became so great that she stayed for him more than for herself. Although it was only a component of her reasoning and all the other parts are connected to that fucker – Mundus. At the name Dante experiences something he had recently and suddenly remembers clearly something she had said before. Although what the deviless was talking about had long since abandoned the demon hunter.

He sat in his chair, legs propped on the desk in the office, as she casually leaned on it and said with seeming disinterest, while her nail traced invisible patterns in the wood. "At first everything is colored in envy – dark emerald green, then instantly wrath dyes your vision in sanguine red".

The half-devil thought that he had understood what she meant. But only in the recent happenings had he experienced it in vivid literality. The Hell lord's name is now intertwined with the two monochromes that dye everything in his sight.

The half-breed tries to breathe – to calm himself, unsuccessfully.

The demonette practically oozes sexuality (Hell, she's the actual embodiment of it), something that any succubus would be jealous of. She loves attention but any pestering individuals are viewed with unadulterated disgust and loathing. And while Trish can throw hinting and insulting jabs at everyone, a trait she probably inherited from the half-devil, she's just as him – all bark, no bite. Dante realizes that he never really analyzed her strange asexuality. If she really did have any occasional needs, then she could've just satisfied them during her away times with any human, demon or whatever. It's sickening to think about her and someone else but that's the truth – she could have, although as far as the half-blood knows that never happened. So why in that adamant asexuality did she come to him? Especially if it wasn't so, then the demoness could have had anyone, quite literally. But the huntress directed all that on the demon hunter. A test was only partial and there's an explanation that curls his guts in nausea, which has nothing to do with the strong beverage he's drinking as if it's water.

Mundus – it's all that cocksucker's fault! And there's no attraction, no actual liking despite how much Dante wishes for it to be the opposite. Her asexuality –it's obvious now. How could she be not repulsed, after all that that fucking Hell overlord probably did to her?!

Trish is the physical copy of his mother. And the hunter knows that Mundus always blamed Eve for Sparda's betrayal. Even though the half-devil's father had rebelled against the lord hundreds of years before the human was even born. It was possibly easier that way, to blame some feeble mortal woman, rather than himself for having even a miniscule belief in the demon knight. Therefore the deviless that was the visual representative of Eve... Mundus had to torture and humiliate her while virtually imagining it to be Dante's mother... The half-blood feels like vomiting and crying uncontrollably. How could he have been so stupid?! How could he have not realized this sooner?! But that question's been cleared already – his brain had chosen self-preservation instead.

It takes the demon hunter quite a while to get back to his train of thought.

It's only logical that the deviless's preliminary mission had been to bring the half-breed to Mundus by any means necessary. Even if it meant leading Dante by the dick. 'Course even if Trish would have attempted something like that, contrary to popular belief, the half-devil would not have gone with it. Nothing like that happened because the dead overlord had made her too perfectly, based her too much of off the humans he so despised, gave her too much autonomy. The demoness hated being controlled from the beginning, she – if anything – is the embodiment of dominance. The huntress's pride, self-loving and self-respect did not allow her to get to the half-blood through his bed. Heck, she would have dragged him to Mallet by the hair if he wouldn't have cooperated. Or at least attempted it. And Dante knew it from the moment he had laid his eyes on her.

The half-devil thinks that it wasn't just an order, no it was hardwired into her brain. The demoness repressed and fought against it as best as she could, in the end it just wasn't enough. Mundus fucked her up (literally too – don't think about that!) too much for it to be something that she could just get over. Trish relied on the half-breed and felt let down that he couldn't resist it – that was her test. And he failed it, failed her! She feels disappointed with Dante and disgusted with herself because of this need for physical contact with him, embedded in her brain.

For all the demonette's human traits, beneath it all she's still demonic. And the demon hunter knows many examples when her true nature showed. Even in his own existence there were times when his humanity just wasn't enough to overpower the devil inside. Underneath the underneath – what lies there is the truth, denial and willpower don't mater, because the hideous truth is always stronger than the pretty lie...

Afterwards there's a lot more potentially dangerous alcohol mixing. Along with an overshadowed thought that hopefully his demonic stomach will hold its ground come morn'.

Trish comes back when it's already a very late evening. Dante's too hammered to greet her but not enough to not sense the return of her presence.

A/N

Dante in a nutshell: part two.