(I don't own Death Note.)

~Chapter Ten~

"Near!" Matt was overjoyed to see his friend awake. He was still in the hospital, and still somewhat drugged up on pain medications, but he was more or less coherent.

"Hello, Matt. Mello! You aren't dead!" Near smiled brightly, leaving both Matt and Mello surprised. Gevanni hid a smile behind his hand, approaching the two.

"Hey, guys. I know, I know. He's acting weird. The pain medication makes him more normal than anything... go figure."

"Um..." They turned to Near, who was looking forlornly at their group.

"Sorry, Near. We didn't mean to ignore you," Gevanni assured him, returning to his usual spot beside the bed. Near smiled again.

"Mello, what happened?" Mello was taken aback by the usually reserved boy's forward question.

"Well... Obviously, I'm not really dead... there was a guy in the force who was working with the guy who got you-" At this, Near flinched violently, clinging to Gevanni and clenching his eyes shut. Mello actually felt just a little bit bad. Very, very little bit. "And they knew there was a traitor, so Roger had me fake my death, hoping that they would be more confident with me out of the way. That part worked well, obviously. I had already been in contact with my... connections in America, and when you got captured, they had me rush back, with my most trusted men. And then, you know the rest..." Near had mostly recovered from his little episode, and he gave Mello a shaky, almost fearful smile.

"I don't hate you," he stated, and for a second, he seemed like his normal self as the emotion left his voice and face. "And I don't want you to hate me." With this statement, he turned to Gevanni, effectively ignoring Mello and Matt. Mello wasn't exactly sure what had just happened, but Near had made it clear that they were dismissed, so after a quick goodbye, they left the room.

"Near, are you okay?" Gevanni peered at him with concern. His face was even more pale than usual, and he was grimacing slightly. "Do you need more medicine?"

"Yes, but I do not want it right now," Near said, sounding more like himself with every word.

"Why not? Near, you shouldn't-"

"I want to try to speak with you and convey my feelings without the aid of a sedative." He looked away from Gevanni as he spoke, and his cheeks reddened slightly.

"Oh... well, what did you want to talk about?" Near fidgeted with the IV that was attached to his arm, and Gevanni had to take his hand to make him stop. "Don't mess with that; you'll pull it out."

"I don't want it." Near was... pouting? Gevanni smiled, hugging the boy tightly. Near was too taken aback and surprised to react until after the man had released him. He hadn't really liked that much contact at one time, but he didn't hate it either. "Um..." Gevanni watched in fascination. Near was never unsure of himself. Of course, he never talked about anything as ambiguous as emotions, let alone his own. "Just-just hold my hand," he finally mumbled, closing his eyes in embarrassment. Now, Gevanni would laugh at him. It only made sense. Near was the most awkward person ever, and Gevanni was not awkward at all, so of course he would laugh at him. But... the laughter never came. Instead, Gevanni held his hand, as requested. Near still didn't want to open his eyes, but the man began rubbing small circles on the back of his hand. "I apologize for my forwardness," he muttered, beginning to pull his hand away, but Gevanni lifted Near's hand, kissing it lightly. Near wasn't sure what to do about this. He didn't really understand what Gevanni was trying to say to him, and he wasn't sure if it was good. Generally, kisses were construed as good things, but not always. That man had kissed him... Suddenly, he felt horrible about Gevanni having to sit in the hospital because of his stupidity. Gevanni noticed the abrupt change, and hurried to comfort Near.

"Hey, it's okay, Near. Don't worry about anything, okay?" Near shook his head angrily.

"No! It is entirely my fault that you are here. I should not have been so careless. I should have realized that the plan wouldn't work, and now you are stuck in the hospital with me, when you should be back, working on a case or resting." Gevanni was silent for a moment, watching Near, who had closed his eyes again. His expression was one of pain, but not just physical pain (although that was at least partially it). He reached his hand out to cup the boy's cheek, saddening slightly when Near flinched. He didn't remove his hand, though, and after a moment, Near placed his own hand over it, leaning into the touch.

"Near, it isn't your fault. You know that. Logically, you know that it isn't your fault." The boy refused to meet his eyes. "I'm serious. You can't blame yourself for it. So you made a mistake- everyone does. It doesn't excuse that sorry excuse for a man. It was his fault, not yours." Near shook his head, his hair falling into his eyes, but he didn't speak. Finally, after watching him shake his head repeatedly, Gevanni tried to get his attention. "Near, don't do that. You'll get dizzy." Near acted as if he hadn't heard him, and, taking care not to hurt him, Gevanni sat on the bed, pulling the boy close to his body, stroking his hair and soothing him with soft whispers. Near lay in Gevanni's hold, his small body trembling slightly. Gevanni moved away from him, apologizing. "Sorry... I shouldn't have touched you so much." Near's eyes went wide, and Gevanni quickly rephrased his words. "I mean, you don't like contact. I shouldn't have been so close and held on to you. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable..." He was puzzled by Near's pleading expression. Finally, after scrunching his eyes closed, Near mumbled something unintelligible. "What? I didn't hear what you said..." Near's cheeks were now burning with heat.

"I said I love you," the boy blurted quickly, looking everywhere but at Gevanni, who was stunned. He definitely hadn't been expecting anything like that. Sure, Near had said that he liked Gevanni, but even so... "Stupid," Near muttered.

"What's stupid?"

"This. Me."

"Why would you say that? You know you're not stupid." Near glared at Gevanni.

"Shut up. Leave me alone." He turned over in the bed, leaving Gevanni staring at his back in confusion.

"Near, I'm not going anywhere." Near didn't respond, although Gevanni knew that he had heard him. He lay on the bed, on top of the covers and next to Near, who stiffened slightly at the feeling of another body so close to him. Slowly, with very deliberate movements, Gevanni put his arms around Near.

"Don't..." Near didn't sound too convincing, though, and Gevanni didn't make any move to leave. After a few minutes, Near relaxed, and Gevanni began stroking his hair. Near turned onto his other side, so that he was facing Gevanni. The older man noticed the wet streaks on Near's face, but said nothing about them.

"See? It's okay. And you aren't stupid, Near." Near closed his eyes as Gevanni cupped his cheek with his hand, murmuring soothing words to the boy and holding him close with the other arm.

"Why?" Near whispered softly.

"Why what?"

"Why do you stay here with me? You don't have to; I would be okay without you here. I am not, by any stretch of the imagination, a nice person, nor am I a great conversationalist. I don't even pretend to understand emotions, and I realize that I constantly make social blunders that I do not know how to fix. It makes no sense that you should stay here." Gevanni could tell that this had been bothering Near for a while. Why was he attracted to Near? Granted, the boy had excellent points, but there was more to it than cold logic.

"Well, let's see... Why do I stay here with you when I don't have to? Because I don't want to leave you here alone, in a strange place with strangers."

"They are trained medical personnel..."

"I know, but they don't know you like I know you. I also stay here partially to comfort myself; if I can see you, be sure that you're okay, I feel so much better. When I'm away, I worry what might happen to you. I know it's irrational, but that's how I feel. You might not always be the nicest person, but you're honest. Also, you aren't an excessively mean person. You don't go out of your way to hurt people. As for your conversation skills... I've never had a problem with them in the past. The way you speak is different from most people; your vocabulary is more elevated than that of others. That doesn't mean that you're boring to talk to. Social skills... Sure, you tend to say and do some things that most people wouldn't expect, or that they deem rude, but you don't do it out of spite. You just don't operate on the same plane as everyone else. You can't help it, though, and it isn't like you do it on purpose; you aren't trying to ostracize yourself from everyone. There's nothing wrong with you, Near. Other people just don't understand how your mind works... and they tend to react badly." Near was staring at Gevanni, enraptured by the man's in depth and accurate analysis of Near's personality. "Just because you see things differently than other people doesn't mean that you're any less of a person. I mean, you're good at memorizing and analyzing data. Numbers and structure make sense to you. People don't make sense to you, because they aren't structured and organized. They aren't predictable, and they don't follow a discernible pattern. It's okay, though. It doesn't mean that you have to be alone, just because you don't know how to relate with other people." Near hadn't even realized that the tears had started up again until Gevanni brushed them away.

"See?" He gestured to his face. "This is totally illogical. Why am I crying when I'm not upset?"

"Sometimes we cry when we're happy, or overwhelmed. It's just a way to release pent-up emotions and stress. I'd say that you're pretty entitled to cry all you want, considering the last few days." He kissed the top of Near's head. "It's okay to cry. It's healthy, actually."

"Well, I don't like it." Near wiped his eyes and nose, before actually making eye contact with Gevanni, of his own free will, without being prompted to. He never made eye contact if he could help it; this was a date for the books. Suddenly, without any prior warning, Near stretched up, pressed his lips briefly against Gevanni's, and then buried his face in the man's chest. Gevanni hugged Near tightly to him, smiling like he'd just won the lottery. In a way, he had. He'd gotten Near to actually talk about his feelings, express said feelings, and act upon them. Then, as an added bonus, his feelings were reciprocated more than he had thought. "Sorry." The boy's voice was muffled, and Gevanni laughed softly.

"Why are you apologizing? There's nothing to apologize for." Near again wouldn't meet his eyes, his cheeks emanating heat.

"You're not mad..." It was more of a statement than a question.

"No, why would I be?"

"I... don't even know. I don't," Near admitted, looking slightly frightened by the thought. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't know why I did that."

"But... it wasn't bad, was it?" Near's face blushed even more.

"...nnnmmph." He had pressed his face against Gevanni's chest, muffling his answer.

"Near, nnnmmph isn't a word." Near glanced up at him, actually smiling for once. "What were you trying to say?" Near looked away again, clearly having great difficulty with the words.

"It-it wasn't bad... I-I-I..." He buried his face in his hands. "Kind of liked it." He cringed away from Gevanni, as if he feared that the man would hurt him in some way.

"Near, what's wrong? That's not bad! That's okay!" Near peeked at him through his fingers. "It's okay to want to be happy. It isn't a weakness; rather, it can be a strength. Just don't keep doing this to yourself. It isn't healthy to try to crush your emotions." The boy wasn't sure if he was supposed to respond, or not, so he remained silent. Gevanni understood the boy's silence, and held him close to his body. He continued to stroke Near's hair, whispering random things to him, until they both fell asleep, curled up together. This, of course, provided Mello and Matt with great entertainment, involving a camera, until the nurse came back and chased them away.

A/N: awww! yay for NearxGevanni! so everyone else probably wouldn't find it as funny, but Krista and I always say how Near is like *bad touch, bad touch* with everyone. No more *bad touch*!!! yeah. let me know what you think, and thank you to everyone who reviews.

oh, I'm kind of stuck with this one, so if anyone wants to send some ideas my way, I can't guarantee that I would use them, but I would be grateful for any inspiration. Thanks!!

*many thanks to soundofmadness223*

~alex~