What We'd Do Without Gravity

by Mushrooms Of Gold

While lost in a hospital Antonio comes across young terminally ill patient, Lovino Vargas. With Lovino left only six months to live it's an awful time a romance to blossom between the ill fated pair, but with a bucket list to race through as the clock ticks down, the two find that love is very hard to avoid.

10. Chapter 10

A/N: Thank you so much for the birthday wishes and reviews last week! I had a great day and you guys made it even better!
I have been thinking… I was thinking I might I might do the next chapter from Lovi's POV. I did notice a review saying it might be nice to hear how he's feeling at this point given Lovi seems to like to hide his feelings a little. If it goes down well I might do a few more from his POV throughout the story.

On that note- I'd love to hear any other suggestions on what might make this fic more fun to read- as long as it doesn't alter the plot too much I will consider all suggestions you may have!

As per usual, thanks so much for reading, please keep reviewing, they keep me going!

Chapter Ten

Money, Money, Money

I thought a lot about our evening in the cafe, right through to Friday afternoon. I was full of conflicting emotions.

Lovi had fainted... That's something that got me. Every time I thought about it was like a punch in the gut. He would hate for me to think about him like I was... But he was weak. No positive thinking could change that... I touched my fingertips to my lips... Oh... I was still getting to know him and we were running out of time. He was like a frail old man.

Lovino was going to leave me.

I leaned forward on the counter and put my head in my hands. There was nothing I could do about it... I looked over to Feliciano.

There was another thing that I could help...

I called Arthur over, "Hey..." I tapped him on the shoulder in greeting; "You think you can man the place for a little while? I need to talk to Feliciano; I'm not sure how long it'll take. "

He looked over to me with a small frown, "I can do that... Is Feli in trouble?"

I smiled warmly and beckoned Feliciano over, "Oh no, this is just something we need to get figured out. Don't worry about it! We'll be back, call me if it gets too busy."

I smiled as Feliciano made his way over, he looked a little bewildered, but I guess I never hinted anything about talking to him.

"Ve? Toni'?" he bit his lower lip, clasping his hands together as he looked between Arthur and I.

"Come with me, Feli!" I kept cheery, "This won't take long!"

He followed me in silence into the back office. The chair was pulled out from the table. It was like that from when Lovi had sat on it together. Him on my lap. I hadn't touched it since. Even the blanket he had still lay strewn across the floor... I didn't want to touch it. Ever since the fainting incident I had become a little obsessed with traces of Lovino; I was scared of losing him and the feeling of hopelessness I had as the image of him slipping through my fingers made me want to keep all I could. I had even made a copy of our text conversations and backed them all up. Just so I knew those traces were still there, like a safety net. I had parts of him that weren't going to leave me.

So I didn't sit down, and I knew Feli was too agitated by this sudden meeting to try and take a seat either. We stood and let the particles of him sitting on me; conformable silence, rain outside and his soft cheek pressed to my chest remain.

"Toni'!" Feli snapped me out of my brief moment alone with my memory with a panicked cry out, "I'm sorry! I can fix it; I promise this job really matters! I don't know what I'd do without it!"

He looked like he might have carried on but I held up both my hands to stop him, "Woah, woah!" I laughed quietly, "Feli what do you think this is about? "

He looked at the floor, "You... Don't like me having more jobs?"

I smiled and sighed lightly, "Feli it's not that... Well in a way... "

The poor guy... Maybe I shouldn't have put it that way! He looked like he had seen a ghost!

"Its nothing bad!" I insisted, "I just... Well I know now about you working so much and I get that it's hard! But Lovi told me how little you guys get to see him, and I get you can't really help it! " I paused; it was time I got to the point, "But I still don't think it's fair to him. So I'm giving Saturdays off, starting tomorrow. You'll still be paid but don't come to work. There's some things I want you to do!"

Feli looked at me with eyes like saucers. He sure didn't expect this! "Toni'!" his immediate reaction was protest, "No! That's the busiest day!"

I reached out to put my hands on both of his shoulders, "I know, but it's also a good day to have free. You have to live! You can't work all the time! I want you to go out and have some fun. We can cope here."

He twisted his hands together, "I don't know... "

Why did he sound so unsure? I thought Feli would be ecstatic! This was paid leave every week...

"Listen," I was firm- he had to know that this was happening, he had no choice, "I'm not doing this for no reason. For at least an hour every Saturday I want you to go see Lovi. He needs you around more."

"Lovi?" Feli raised his brow, he had just clicked as to what this was about, "But Lovi's fine... We asked him; he says he's fine with the visits!"

Oh... My, had Lovi really said that? I felt a twinge as I thought of how Lovino hid his insecurities so much. He did it so well that I guess Feli really couldn't be blamed for thinking Lovi was okay,

"He's not fine." I said softly, "Feliciano, he might tell you he is but you don't see him the way I do. He loves you too much to make you worry, but he needs you more."

Feli didn't say anything; he just squeezed his hands into fists,

"I wish he'd tell us this stuff!" Feli finally cried and put his hands up to his face; "He even got all mad when we were suggested he was lonely!"

I smiled softly. He got it now, "Take the time off," I repeated, "Not for you, but for him. Okay?"

Feli nodded and launched himself at me, giving me a tight hug. I ruffled his hair. Saturdays might get a little more frantic with one man down, but I knew this was the right thing. It was like a weight had been lifted.

"I'm also swapping our salaries." I mentioned as he finally let go. There, that was the next thing. Almost as soon as I realised I was controlling the income of the one who struggled so much to pay hospital bills I knew I needed to do this. It was only right considering our lifestyles!

He seemed almost more dumbstruck by this than he was by my first offer, "But you make almost double what I do!" he cried.

"Exactly!" I laughed, "And I don't need it! You do!" I grinned and nudged him, "There's no point in refusing- it's happening! We both know you need it. I don't care what you do with the money- you quit one job, or your grandpa does, or both of you just take more time off, just use it to help yourselves."

Even Feli didn't try to get out of this! "Thank you!" he seemed to squeeze himself tight, delirious with delight, "Thank you so much!" he gasped, "Can I call grandpa?"

I chuckled, but I was secretly bubbling with how glad I was to see him like this, like a miracle had just happened. And I guess it was a miracle! A miracle that I was able to do this. Something so easy for me could do so much!

"Sure thing. I'll be in the cafe again, join me when you're all done!"

Feli whipped out his battered phone and started to look through his contacts. I gave him a wink as I passed.

Arthur looked like he had been on his toes but not overwhelmed while I was gone. I gave him a wave as I entered back into the buzz of the cafe and he nodded as he took two lattes to a table. I followed him with my eyes; just enough to catch the sight of Ludwig walk through the door. I noticed how he immediately scanned the room; he was looking for Feli... What a shame! Feli was still in the phone! As if on cue I heard a loud happy laugh come from somewhere behind me in the hall en route to the office. I grabbed a pad; at least I knew Ludwig and his reason for being here. I could explain Feli's absence!

Recently, Feliciano hadn't even carried a pad to Ludwig's table; he knew the huge man's order.

"Hey there, Ludwig!" I greeted him.

He looked up to me, startled by the unfamiliar voice, "Antonio? Where..." he looked around, "Is Feliciano sick today?"

I smiled and shook my head, "he's taking a phone call; he'll serve you once he's done."

He nodded solemnly, "That's... Good." he made a sound of relief, "He's okay after the incident?"

He sounded so serious it caught me right off guard! Incident? Had something awful happened and Feli didn't say?

... "Oh that!" I finally exclaimed out after a few moments of staring at him. He was talking about when Lovi fainted. Of course he'd be thinking about that, all of us were scared. I wasn't sure of how much Ludwig knew, but he saw how Lovino just tumbled to the floor. "He's okay now. "So's Lovino. Feliciano is just away in the back."

"Okay. Yes, thank you..." He sat back, "I'd like a black coffee and brown bread with butter."

I furrowed my brow... That wasn't on our menu. We could make it I guess, but most food here came ready made!

But this was Ludwig's regular, right? Feliciano had always served him before so I never really got to know what Ludwig had here. I guessed that it won't be hard to butter bread, but Feliciano had just done that extra work from the start every day!

"Feli should get that to you. " I murmured as I noted down the rogue order, "It was nice seeing you the other night!" I waved before starting to back away from him.

He suddenly stopped me, "Wait!" I froze before looking over to him expectantly.

His cool, sharp eyes met mine and he cleared his throat, "It is not as if I have reason to believe otherwise... But would you happen to know if Feliciano is... Ehem... Single?"

I looked at him in surprise. Did he really just say that? Goodness... Did he plan to make a move?!

"He's single!" I informed with probably a little too much enthusiasm, "Yes he's very single... And I think he'd be really glad to change that!"

Okay, so that may have been a white lie. In fact, Feli often told me he was too busy to get any kind of romance... But now he had more time! He got Saturdays off and I was willing to bet Feli would never decline a date with Ludwig. Those two were obsessed with each other! Ludwig just needed to hurry up and make a move!

Pink flushed to the usually composed man's cheeks, "I-I see. Thank you." He looked down again.

I just grinned and left him to his thoughts.

.oO0Oo.

I didn't get home until late. It was crazy; a cupboard door came off so I had to stick around to fix it after the others had left to fix it and it really took a lot longer than I thought it would! I still got the job done and I had a working cupboard once more. It made coming home even better too.

It was already nine when I looked for dinner ideas... I should have gone shopping; I didn't have much.

I was just examining some rice when I heard the buzzing of vibration in the living room; I wandered without hurry to pick up the phone, glancing at the caller id.

Lovi was calling?

I was surprised; Lovi and I almost never called each other. Texting was just easier! Even when phone calls were used, I was always the one who started them.

I answered quickly before I missed it and tried not to sound confused, "Lovi? Hello?"

"Antonio." came the simple greeting.

I frowned. This was odd... I hadn't asked him to ring me had I? There was nothing I was supposed to do with him right now...

Thankfully, he carried on, "I heard about what you did for Feli."

There was a moment of nothing. "Oh... " I whispered. Before sitting on the couch, "I would have done it sooner if I knew the situation." I told him. I actually had no idea how he felt about this. He didn't sound angry but he was so serious.

I heard his breathing in the other end of the line, "No one's ever done something like that for me before. "

"Like what?" Was he okay? Lovi was so calm; I couldn't figure it out.

"He told me you gave him the day off so he could visit me. I hadn't even told him I was lonely." He hesitated, "You didn't have to. You could have left it."

I smiled, "Not really, not without feeling awful."

Another long pause. What was he thinking?

"Hey, will you come up here?"

"To the hospital?"

"Yeah. I want to see you."

I laughed lightly, but I actually had a feeling he wasn't kidding, "Lovi, visiting hours are over, I can't!"

"The security isn't exactly tight, no one will see you."

I bit my lip; it was getting late, "I'm not sure about this..."

He made an irritated noise, "The first time we met was after hours and you were wandering around there by accident!"

He did have a point.

But if I got caught who knows what might happen! What if they stopped me from seeing him?

"Beginners luck?" I tried.

He didn't find that very funny, "'Tonio. Please."

And I knew I could help myself after that. He would never plead unless desperate. He really wanted me there. Was it to talk about what I did for Feli? Was it to tell me he was part horse? I had no idea. But when he needed me trying to resist him just wouldn't work. My whole life had become about this kid.

I wasn't complaining.

"Can I make dinner first?"

"Just be quick." was all he said before the line went dead.

.oO0Oo.

Sure enough only half an hour later I was back in the car, half the risotto I made was still warm in a container in the passenger seat.

I tried to act natural as I moved through reception and up through the wards, I even took the stairs instead of the elevator, figuring I'd be less likely to run into people. But Lovi was right, no one tried to stop me and no sirens went off as I started to head down the corridor of the ward I'd

become so familiar with.

As I approached his ajar door I slowed. What if there was a nurse in there with him or something?

I stopped, listening for voices, but it was just silent. The coast was clear.

"Lovi?" I asked, pushing the door open just enough for me to slip through.

"Tonio?'" Was the small response I got. I closed the door behind me for once, not wanting to take any chances and end up caught.

The moment the door was shut I got why he liked to have it open. The room seemed to shrink and close in around us- it was stifling, if possible I felt even more trapped in here than before.

"Took you fucking long enough." He muttered as I made my way over to him, "I started to think you weren't coming."

I smiled at him as I pulled out the chair and sat, "I needed to get dinner." I held out the tub to him, "Here! It's risotto."

He gave me a look of disdain, "Great. Why the hell are you showing me?"

I laughed, "It's for you! I accidently made extra so I thought hey! Lovi can have it!"

Actually, that was a lie. It was no accident I made enough for us both, I knew I'd bring some to him, but if I straight up told him that he'd probably get all embarrassed and flustered and tell me to shove it somewhere weird.

He was funny that way.

He took the tub from me and peered inside, "I don't have anything to eat it with."

"Here." I produced a fork from my back pocket and offered it to him. He took it with a small sigh and opened the box,

"Gross." He held the fork between two fingers, "This is still warm from your ass." He wrinkled his nose but still dug in as I watched, readying myself for a reaction.

He took a few mouthfuls before he spoke again, "Fuck. This is pretty damn good."

I breathed out relieved to see him enjoying it before noticing he had a stray grain of rice at the corner of his mouth.

"Wait a sec…" I touched his arm to slow him and got him to look at me, "You got a little…" I trailed off as I reached out and wiped the side of his mouth with me index finger. He was soft as I cleaned his mouth before offering the grain to his pink lips. There was a little trepidation in his eyes before he quickly licked my fingertip clean. It made me tense up; he was so warm. His eyes met mine then. Those amazing forest green irises only illuminated by the orange glow of his bedside lamp.

"You were right about getting in here!" I said as I drew back and he got back to eating.

"Well there's kinda fuck all to protect here. It's like, what are you gonna do? Kill us? Because I got fucking news for you, pal."

I grinned, despite how morbid his joke was. I was just glad to him normal after his out of character phone call.

There was more silence. I had noticed how quiet moments like these were getting more common between Lovi and I, and I had been feeling less of an urge to break them.

I guess we were just comfortable like this; we didn't need words so much anymore.

That made me pretty happy.

He only finished half his risotto before he said he was full. I wanted to encourage him to keep going but decided against it, he had had a decent amount, and I was enjoying this peace. I didn't want him to get angry. I took the tub and leaned down to place it next to my chair.

By the time I sat back up again, Lovi was leaning forward in bed. He was patting the space in from of him.

He wanted me to sit on the bed? But he never asked for that! If anything he was always telling me to get off the bed!

I didn't ask about it- I was worried the wording of my question would make him change his mind, but I'm pretty sure he knew how eager I was. I leapt onto the bed and sat where he had been gesturing to with a speed that, judging by the look on his face, he didn't think was humanly possible!

"Chill out. You look like you need to shit." He bit out at me before shuffling under the covers and bringing out his bare legs, placing them over me.

I was surprised but made sure he didn't think it was unwelcome. I gave a content sigh and started to trace patterns on the silky skin of his ankles.

"I really wanted to see you tonight"

I glanced over to him, "Yeah… You mentioned in your call."

"You gave my brother that day off for me."

"I did."

"You swapped your salary for a waiters for my family."

"I did, that's right."

"No one's ever done that sort of thing for me before."

I paused in tracing patterns on his skin to give him a longer look, "What do you mean?"

His answer was short and clear, "You made me feel special."

He was staring out the window, watching the dark clouds drift over the twilight skyline.

"You are special."

He carried on, "You didn't need to do that for me, you'll be a worker down on a busy day and lose a hell of a lot of money. How much less will it be?"

I shrugged, "I've not really been thinking about that… Lovi, let's not think about this in numbers, huh?"

"Too bad, right now my family works in numbers. How much less? Half? A third?"

"I-I don't know!" I stammered, "You didn't need to think about it!"

"How much?"

"I've not worked it all out!"

"It's a lot right? Otherwise Feliciano wouldn't have been fucking hyperventilating earlier. And fuck you, fuck me, fuck everything! You finally made me feel worth something!"

"I don't want money to make you feel like that! Stop thinking yourself as worth how much less money I'll bring in!"

"I'm not!" In a burst of frustration he kicked me in the chest, "I'm thinking of the sacrifice you made!" He gave an exasperated sigh, "Any jackass can say I'm important. It takes a real jackass like you to actually make a change to your life for me. You went and did that. That's what's getting me."

Wow… Saying all this… This just wasn't like him! He must have really felt something.

"You should know how much you really matter."

He lay back, "I've never felt like this before."

I stretched and looked over his relaxed form, "It would have been wrong of me to let things stay how they were. You remember how much I didn't like how little you saw family."

I noticed a novel expression on his lips, a small smile played on his lips and there was pink hue to his cheeks,

"You listened to me." He said quietly.

"Hm?"

"When I said I didn't want to be alone."

"No one wants to be alone." I assured him.

He gritted his teeth and gave me another biff to the chest with his foot, "Why are you so fucking nice?! It makes me so mad!"

I laughed and caught his ankle before he could kick me again, "I just like you!" I insisted, "I want to be nice to you Lovi!"

"Not like I deserve it."

"Don't be silly."

"All I do to you is be mean and get pissy."

I shuffled closer to him, "True… But you're also smart, funny, sweet, and insecure." I reached out to tuck his hair behind his ear, "And pretty endearing."

"I'm still lucky to know you."

"I'll give you that one! But only because I'm lucky too!"

He snorted, "Whatever the fuck you say. Thanks a lot for totally blowing my act with Feliciano and Grandpa."

"Act?"

He rolled his eyes, "Idiot, I worked so damn hard to cover up how lonely I was and you freaking ruined it in a passing comment!"

My eyes widened- he was right! I did do that!

"Sorry!" I gasped out, "If I didn't I would have never convinced Feli to take that Saturday!"

He rattled on, "Now I have to deal with sad serious phone calls like 'why didn't you tell us?' and all that crap!"

"But even if you did tell them they couldn't have fixed it!"

"Exactly!" He threw his hands up, "They'd worry their dumb asses off but couldn't have actually done anything!"

I ran my fingers through his hair, "Gosh… I get why you never sad anything." I moved my hand to scratch the back of my neck. I really did screw that up for him, "Ah… I'm sorry."

He shrugged, "Least your reason was half decent. I did get to tell them that I'd be okay now with the extra visits and stuff."

"And will you be?"

He seemed to think about this for a few seconds, "It'll be different." He concluded, "But..." He seemed momentarily bewildered, "Ever since you've been around it's been better anyway."

I'm not sure why but that made me feel warm, "We do see each other every day!" I pointed out, "Or even more! This is the second time we've seen each other in just 24 hours!"

"Yeah, yeah, and it means I can't sleep naked anymore so fuck you."

I frowned, "Why not? You still could."

He seemed very offended by this suggestion and even covered himself like he had breasts, "You trying you see me naked! You pervert! What the hell?!"

"Huh?" This was another of his explosive reactions! "No, you could just get dressed before I showed!"

"Not gonna happen until you learn to not come at a different time every morning. Jeeze, 'Tonio, keep it in your pants."

I shrugged, unaffected by any of his accusations, "Lovi, I'm Spanish."

"And?"

"That means I see naked guys all the time!"

He looked at me cynically… Didn't he trust my word?

"I'm gonna say that's not true unless the Spanish have a messed up porn obsession that I don't know about."

I laughed loudly, choosing not to answer any questions that may have come with that statement.

"Well what about nurses?" I asked, "They could come in at anytime too!"

"They have probably seen naked wrinkly old men and other gross shit, so unlike you they wouldn't think it was a big deal."

I tried to push back thoughts about how anyone who saw Lovi's naked body would think it was a huge deal.

Instead I just tilted my head, "Not like I'd be made if I saw anything."

He barked a laugh, "Nice try, gaylord. I've seen enough of you; piss off"

I frowned, "You want me to go?"

"I sure as hell don't want you to start a cow farm in here."

I laughed as I nudged his legs off of me, "You're so funny Lovi!" I stood up and stretched.

"Whatever, just get your damn risotto and get out of here."

I reached down to grab my tub and yawned, "Fine, fine… I'll see you tomorrow!" I reminded him and headed for the door.

Before I could even take two steps the back of my shirt was caught, I looked over my shoulder…

Lovi was clinging on to me.

"Thank you again." He said meekly, "For what you did."

I put my hand over his,

"Don't worry about it."

It wasn't until I was sitting in the car, gazing up at my house in silence did I, putting my head in may hand, realise I had managed to do something that I never should have let happen.

I was falling in love with Lovino Vargas