Epilogue

6 months later

In which fate is rather harsh on Mr John Evans

It was nearing the end of June and the British weather finally seemed willing to allow the sun to shine; after months of rain, gloom and harsh winds summer had officially come. Mr Evans sat in his kitchen the sunlight filtering through the windows, light glistening on his recently cleaned surfaces; the entire kitchen looked, for once, quite pristine. In front of him sat a cup of tea, his third that day and it was not even past eleven. He shook his head slowly before taking another sip tea, he thought, was the best form of therapy. You see, poor Mr Evans, had been going through a rough patch. A very rough patch, actually and it was all down to his daughter or rather his daughters' significant other, he sniffed at the word, there was nothing significant about Vernon Dursley apart from his rather large stomach and his resemblance of a walrus.

Of course, Petunia did not agree with him on this assessment, no, she was quite happy to call the Walrus her fiancé and within a few short months her husband. Mr Evans shuddered at the word, dreaded images from that day entering his mind, from the day Vernon Bloody Dursley thought it would a good idea to propose to his daughter, without even asking her father's permission first, no less.

It had been in a restaurant, a restaurant Mr Evans had been banned from a mere a few months ago, not that Petunia or Vernon were aware of this. This meant Mr Evans had to make sure to keep his bent at the arrival of a certain manager prowling the tables, eyes out for any dogs; however the sore neck he received because of said bending was not the worst thing of the evening, not by far. You see, as well Petunia and the Walrus there was also the Walrus family; Mr and Mrs Dursley made the gigantic Vernon look small and Mr Evans practically minute; they each required two chairs and felt the need to look down upon everyone in the restaurant; the Waiter at the door had hair much too brown, the waitress who served them was an inch too short and apparently the child on the table next to them had funny knees. As if that wasn't enough, Mr Evans had the pleasure of sitting next to Vernon's sister; a one Miss Margery Dursley who Mr Evans concluded was the worst of them all. Not only did she drink an awful lot, never shut up about her dogs but also seemed determined to comment on Mr Evans attire; "Now, Sir, where did you say you bought your suit?" Mr Evans resisted, with much difficulty, the urge to throw his wine over her head.

And then there was Vernon Dursley himself and the event that took place just before desert. Seemingly out of now where two Violinist had appeared both dressed in bright white suits, Vernon had (quite comically and painfully) sang along to "Tiptoe through the tulips", Mr Evans had wanted to laugh, that is until Vernon got down on one knee, before Petunia who gave a rather loud shriek. All laughter forgotten, Mr Evans had watched horror struck as Vernon asked the question. Time seemed to have stopped. Say no, please say no! But Petunia had said yes, there was a ring; a big ostentatious thing, the price of which Vernon was quite happy to repeat over and over.

The only salvation for Mr Evans had been that Vernon had proceeded to get stuck on the floor, his body so large he had difficulty getting up from its one knee position and Mr Evans had watched with great amusement as one by one the whole Dursley family along with Petunia had tried to pull him up.

Mr Evans snorted, breaking out of his reverie and away from the memory of Vernon Dursley on the floor. The next few months had consisted of a severe reduction in his bank balance, trips to over eighteen different florists and a lesson on the very significant differences between beige, cream and white and the effects each colour could have on an invitation. To say that things had been chaotic would have been an understatement, Mr Evans had never felt so exhausted and the only thing stopping him from praying that time hurry up already was the fact that time hurrying up would mean him walking his daughter down the aisle sooner.

He shuddered at the horrific thought.

The only thing keeping him sane at this point was the fact that whilst Petunia may have been getting married; Lily and James obviously had no plan to follow their example. He had, since the months after Christmas come to the conclusion that James Potter was indeed destined to become his son-in-law, the only reason for this not happening as far as he could see would be if the idiotic boy broke his daughter's heart and somehow he couldn't see that happening. He was, if not happy, at least content with James Potter as a potential son-in-law and was comforted by the fact that obviously Lily and James would only tie the knot in another four or five years, if not more. They were only out of school, for God's sake! Surely, marriage was not on the cards.

Somewhat comforted by this thought, Mr Evans re-read the two pieces of parchment in front of him; one each from Lily and James, respectively. Both assured him they would be arriving the next day at approximately four o' clock with the other marauders and James parents, they also both reported on their exams going "well enough". Lily's also included two paragraphs in which she stated just why she did not want to be in her sister's wedding; "of course I'll be there dad but bridesmaid? Are you crazy? Do you want your favourite daughter dead?"

Whilst James had also featured a note from Sirius; "hope you got the bike ready Mr E" and an enigmatic message about fulfilling a promise. Mr Evans could not for the life of him remember what promise James was referring too but decided not to dwell on it; chances were it was something that involved a lot mayhem and he decided he preferred being happy and clueless than worried mad because of another Marauder prank.

Not that he minded a prank or two, no not at all. In fact Mr Evans had taken a page out of the Marauders book and had managed to survive the wedding preparations of his eldest daughter only by the joy of creating his own pranks. For example, after Marge's latest dog had chased him around the garden for the second time, Mr Evans had had great pleasure in taking it as far away as possible and hiding it from her, unfortunately Marge seemed to have a dog radar and had found him a mere three days later.

Mr Evans had not been too disappointed at this; he had after all had three days of peace. He smiled, now was not the time to worry about the past or Marge. Tomorrow he would see Lily after months and the Marauders who, though he would not admit it, he was missing. And he would finally meet James parents; the house was clean, food was prepared now all he had to do was wait. He looked at the clock, there was one whole day left to go and he could barely wait; with Lily, the Marauders, excellent food tomorrow was bound to be a good day.

Oh, how wrong he was.

Yes, Lily did arrive, along with the Marauders and Mr and Mrs Potter and yes, they all got along just fabulously. Mr Evans found himself in awe of James' parents, who though old were hilarious and enjoyed a good joke and a cup of tea.

And yes, the food was simply scrumptious; everyone ate to their hearts content. The Marauders joked around as usual, James winking at Lily, Sirius hitting Peter on the head, Peter eating as much as he could, Remus watching with a wry smile, Lily fondly telling them all off.

It was all just brilliant.

That is, until James bloody, electrocuted hair, fish face, gawky Potter decided to ruin everything! The boy and yes, he was a boy and not a man suddenly and rather abruptly got on to one knee. Mr Evans saw red; not another one, not another one, Oh please, not another one…

James opened his mouth and didn't sing but said a whole load of puke-worthy rubbish that made Mr Evans want to snort, looking around however he saw he was the only one sharing these feelings; Lily was blushing red and had tears in her eyes, Mrs Potter was holding a handkerchief to her face, Mr Potter was beaming proudly and all the Marauders were smiling in encouragement to their friend. They were mad, the lot of them!

Mr Evans opened his mouth, if only he could interrupt…say something, James Potter's proposal could be halted…for years… but…

"So Lily, will you please, please marry me?" James Potter eyes were earnest, pleading, full of love…

No, no, no, no, no, NO!

"Yes" Lily finally said pulling James up into a kiss. The rest of the kitchen broke out into applause but Mr Evans felt the need to bang his head on the table. Repeatedly. Finally breaking away, James turned to Mr Evans; "I told you I'd make an honest woman of her" he beamed and then Mr Evans remembered; it had been right before they had left to go back to Hogwarts, in his joy and drunkenness Mr Evans had shouted; "You better make an honest woman of her, Potter" and of, bloody, course James had replied with a loud; "I PROMISE!"

He shook his head at his own stupid-ness before he looked at the happy couple. At the ring James was now carefully putting on Lily and a quite suddenly a series of horrifying images flooded through his mind; another lesson on the difference between beige and white, visiting florist after florist, finding venues, the dress, a cake, a dwindling bank balance and then…the worst image of them all, walking down the aisle with not one but two daughters.

He gulped… he needed a drink, a big one because by the looks of it, he John Evans was in for the worst year of his life…

A/N: So there it is! The epilogue and now this story is officially finished, I can't believe I started this in December! To be honest I only thought this was going to be three chapters but now, somehow it's ten! Thank you to every single person who put this on their favourites or alerts, and of course thank you to every person that reviewed and especially those who reviewed more than once, you all motivated me and are absolutely amazing :D

I've thought about doing a sequel with the wedding, but I'm not sure yet; if I do it won't be for a while yet, I have some other one-shots I want to do first.

Anyway, hope everyone had a great Jubilee weekend :D