Disclaimer: I do not own, nor will I ever own, Ghost Hunt or Hetalia
P.S. – Sorry for any errors. I got really lazy towards the end.
Chapter 10: Tailing for Amateurs
"Hey, I just realized something was missing. Where's Tim?" Lavi asked, not taking the time to knock. Instead, she slammed the door open to find a rather terrifying sight, at least for her. She halted in her tracks, staring wide-eyed at her fellow exorcists.
"He stayed behind with Master because he's too big now to transport comfortably, and he's kind of keeping an eye on Link for us," Allen explained, peeling the dirt splattered and blood stained shirt off of a passed out Kanda. Her shorts were already gone, discarded on the other side of the bed so that she was left in the bra and underwear Lenalee had bought for her. "He's probably stuffing his face and terrorizing the Science Department."
"Uh, what are you doing?" Lavi asked, raising a brow at him suggestively. She blinked, frowning, "Tim's a boy?"
Allen rolled his eyes. "Did you not see that penis while he was naked those hundred or so times?" he asked sarcastically before actually answering the original question. "Kanda fell asleep after he brushed his teeth so I'm just removing his dirty clothes so he doesn't get blood and dirt everywhere." He tossed a blanket over her half-naked form.
"Uh..." Lavi was at a loss for words. She watched Allen busy himself with plucking up discarded clothes off the floor and throwing them towards their suit cases. He was in a new pair of clothes, sparkling clean. She pursed her lips. "You're going to make someone a good housewife someday, you know that beansprout."
"It's Allen, and I'm not going to ever get married," Allen replied immediately without taking even a pause to consider his words. An uncomfortable silence fell over them. "Where are Antonio, Lovino and Lenalee?" he finally asked, looking over to his stunned friend, quirking an eyebrow at her.
Lavi startled, snapping her mouth closed. "Oh, Lenalee went to talk to Komui and ask about what we should do with Lovino. In the meantime, the other two are passed out in our bedroom with her."
"Actually, only Lovi is now. He sleeps like a rock and I sleep as light as a feather compared to what people actually thinks," Antonio interjected from behind Lavi with an easy smile, making Lavi jump nearly out of her skin, "I thought we could go take a walk. Señorita Lenalee told me I had to be accompanied by one of you."
"I'll go," Allen volunteered, straightening, "I wanted to sample some of the countries… delicacies."
"You just want to stuff your face while Kanda's not awake to gripe at you. Anyway, I'll go too," Lavi said, grinning. She moved towards the door, turning only when she was outside the threshold. "Come on, beansprout."
Allen rolled his eyes, grumbling, "For the last time it is Allen." He turned his eyes down, locking on his lover. He stroked her bangs off her forehead, leaning down to plant a kiss along the soft skin. Kanda grumbled in her sleep, flipping onto her stomach and burying her face in the pillow.
Behind him, Lavi made gagging sounds and Antonio laughed. "Come on, lovebird, let's get going before he wakes up and strangles you," she said, rolling her eyes, "You know he'd kill you if he knew you were doing that. You are constantly pushing your luck my friend."
Allen shot him a glare before sighing. "Yeah, I know that," he conceded, turning away from the sleeping form, heading for the door. The door closed quietly behind him, the handle clicking into place.
The three took no care in being quiet. They were loud and boisterous as men often were, despite the fact that one of them was in fact a woman at the time. They left the inn, making enough noise to wake a sleeping rhino.
It was their luck that the rhino they were afraid of waking was never really asleep.
Kanda's hands balled tightly in the fabric of her pillow. She turned her face, glaring at the door. "That damn moyashi," she whispered angrily, face red as a rose. She rubbed self-consciously at the site of Allen's kiss as if she could rub away the sensation of his lips. "I am so going to murder him the moment he falls asleep," she growled, turning her face back into the pillow.
She grumbled to herself about the idiocy and the loudness of her lover and friends, her fingers curling ever tighter until there was a screeching tear filled the room. Frowning, Kanda pushed herself up so she was sitting back on her haunches.
Small, down feathers littered the sheet, clinging to her hands and hair. "Son of a bitch," she snarled, rubbing at the feathers, trying to push them off which only seemed to attract more to her, "Fuck!"
Jumping from the bed and grabbing her bag, already fed up with the mess, Kanda slammed the door as she exited the room in a wake of feathers. The door of Lenalee's room slammed against the wall, shaking the pictures on the wall. "Fuck everything!" she shouted, kicking the door shut behind her.
Lovino startled awake, sitting straight, his eyebrows knitting together and his eyes were blurry with sleep. Lenalee looked on with raised brows as her half-naked companion chucked her bag on the bed and started yanking out clothes, nearly ripping those to shreds as well. "May I ask as to why you're banging around covered in baby bird feathers without any clothes on?" Lenalee asked, holding her hand over the bottom of the phone in her hand, "Aren't you supposed to be sleeping?"
Kanda replied, but there was so much yelling and screaming with more 'fucks' than was reasonable to count that all she got out of that was Allen's name and 'Get these fucking feathers off of me!'
Lenalee laughed, smiling obligingly. She pressed the phone back to her ear, listening to her brother question the yelling. "Sorry brother, I have to go. I have baby bird feather to dislodge from Kanda's hair. I'll talk to you later," she said into the receiver before dropping it back in the hook. She turned to her female friend, looking her up and down. "Alright, alright, don't start getting dressed yet. You're covered from head to toe in feathers." She grabbed a handkerchief from Lavi's bag and sat beside her. "How did you manage this anyway? Did you murder a dove while you were alone? Are you into black magic now?"
"No, I'm not into black magic and I don't fucking kill animals for fun. I got so mad that I ripped open my pillow," Kanda growled, gripping Mugen in a death grip, "Those stupid bastards, I'm going to kill them."
"You can't kill Lavi or Allen," Lenalee chastised without needing to even ask who she was grumbling about, yanking on a chunk of hair that she had just pulled a feather from.
"I call for killing Antonio though, if that's still doable," Lovino inserted casually from his seat. He stared off out the window, watching the people on the street uninterestedly.
The pair glanced at him. "I like his way of thinking," Kanda commented, turning as well to glance out the window. Down on the street, she could see Allen, Antonio, and Lavi laughing at something that had been said as they walked leisurely towards the food stands, pastries already in their hands.
Lenalee shook her head. "You two are terrible. You aren't supposed to murder your lovers," she told them, pulling the last feather from her friend's hair. Instead of releasing her, she began brushing through her hair, sectioning it off into threes.
"What the hell are you doing back there, woman?" Kanda asked, attempting to turn her head, but Lenalee just jerked it straight.
"Don't move, I'm braiding your hair. Just sit still," she said, jerking on her hair once more as a warning.
Kanda grumbled her displeasure, but sat still. When the other woman was through, she jumped up and pulled on her clothing. Her swished her hips, letting her skirt slip against the back of her legs. "I could get used to this. I like the feeling," she said to no one in particular.
"Hey, what'd you say we go out too since the boys are out," Lenalee suggested, standing and straightening her clothing, "I don't think it's very fair that they can head out while we're stuck here."
"Sounds good to me," Lovi said, standing and stretching his arms far above his head.
"Let's go scare the shit out of them," Kanda suggested, already at the door. She had a plan formulating in her mind on just the things they could do to scare the hell out of their lovers.
Lenalee got a mischievous grin on her face. "Let's do it. I have a feeling they've deserved it for a long time."
…..
Lenalee, Lovino and Kanda walked silently behind their three companions, quietly making fun of them from the way they walked to the things they talked about. They were biding their time until they could put their plan into action. They never got the chance as a woman stepped up beside the boys.
Squeaking with suppressed laughter, Lenalee pulled the other two behind a stand, peeking over the side to watch the situation. "What are you doing?" Kanda hissed even as she was watching them curiously as well.
"Shh," Lenalee hissed, the remnants of a giggle obvious on her voice.
"How are you boys doing tonight?" an obviously forced male voice said casually, cutely, winking a glittering eyelid at them. Long, thick fake eyelashes flashed in the sunlight. A small tight black dress covered –his? Her? Kanda couldn't decide- lean muscles.
"What is happening?" Kanda asked.
Lenalee and Lovino glanced at her before glancing at each other. They left off quiet laughter, shoulders shaking furiously in their attempt to hold it in. "Oh my, your naïveté is adorable," Lenalee squealed, throwing her arms around her best friend, hugging her to her chest.
"Get off me! Get off me, woman!" Kanda yelled, pushing against her friend. Her cried echoed those of her lover who was pushing against the pushy she-male. A hand slammed over her mouth, silence her cries.
"Come on, darling, just give in. I'll make it worth your while. It'll be like nothing you ever experienced before," the she-male pushed, arms threaded around Allen's arm even as he attempted, and failed, to push her off.
"Yeah, Allen, she'll make it worth your while. We can wait here for you to finish. I'm sure it won't take that long," Lavi taunted, arms crossed over her small chest and a smirk curving the corners of her mouth. She leaned back against a booth full to the brim with fresh fruits.
Antonio leaned beside her, grinning. "Yes Allen, don't worry, we'll wait here for you. Go off and have some fun," he coaxed.
"Guys, stop it! That's not funny!" Allen shouted at them, pulling against the strong grip of the she-male, "No, stop it. Please! I don't want to. I have a boyfriend!"
That stopped the she-male in her tracks. She detached herself from his arm, pouting slightly. "Dang it, I thought you were single for sure. That's no fair. I really wanted to screw you, and maybe turn you gay." She shrugged her broad shoulders. "Oh well, on to the next!" She moved away from the group, holding her hand to her brow in search for her next victim.
Allen fell into a chair, dropping his head into his hand. "I felt something move," he whispered miserably, shaking his head in shame.
"Oh," Lavi said in amazement, watching at the woman disappeared into the crowd, "That seriously was a guy. I couldn't tell through the make-up, dress, long hair, and androgynous facial features and physique. I guess the no boobs should have alerted me. Kinda reminds me of Kanda except more feminine."
Lenalee and Lovino had to hold Kanda down so that she wouldn't propel herself at the red-head and start strangling her. She struggled against their tight grip, slowly gaining headway as their feet began to slip against the dirt on the stones of the road.
"I didn't know you knew such large words, Lavi," Allen quipped sarcastically, glaring up at her.
"She's what we call a transvestite," Antonio interjected, "She's a really nice guy. It's too bad she likes to bat for the other team. She'd make some lady a good husband, but I guess all is fair in love and war." He shrugged just as the she-male had like it was an everyday thing. The pair stared at him, squinting as if to see his point. "Anyway, let's go get some food, and maybe we should pick up our lovers from behind that stand." He pointed over his shoulder to the stand where Lenalee and Lovino were still having trouble containing the little raging woman.
They stopped at Antonio's words, glancing up at them. Lovino and Kanda scowled, piercing the trio with glares, while Lenalee was all smiles. "Ah, looks like you caught us. Oh well, now that we're all together, let's go get something to eat," she said, cheery as ever. She jumped to her feet, dragging Kanda up with her. She dusted the dirt from her clothes before taking a spot beside Allen.
Before anyone could say another word, Allen's stomach took the decision from them. He grumbled like a sleeping dinosaur. Everyone glanced to the blushing teen, all of them laughing except for the two disgruntled teens standing shoulder to shoulder with their arms crossed tightly over their chests.
"Looks like that's a yes," Lenalee laughed, ruffling her friend's white hair affectionately.
Wow, I haven't updated in a week. What a great author I am *rolls eyes* Anyway, I hope y'all enjoyed this chapter as much as I did. I don't have any excuses this time around for why I'm late on the update. I do have a reason not to really update for a while from now. I've got the AP English Lang test to take on Friday (2 hours of multiple choice and then another 2 to write 3 essays), and then I have this Dollhouse of Death thing I've got for Forensics, so yeah, kind of a full plate. I've also been working on a Raven Boys fanfic. On top of that, my friend has gotten me addicted to the BBC edition of Sherlock, the TV show. I only started watching it 2 days ago and yet I am already in the fiery pits of fandom hell, and I've shipped Sherlock and Watson since episode one so… Yeah, I'm fucked -_-
Anyway, circling back to the original topic, how did you like this chapter? Did you hate it? Was it funny? Was it completely 'what the fuck' status?