Disclaimer: If Shaman King were mine, I wouldn't need to write fanfics. If any of these songs were mine, I wouldn't be writing fanfics.

Background music: Realize – Colbie Caillat

Chapter 10 – Realize

Yoh trudged in his room and realized there was someone already in it. "Hao? How did you get home faster than me?"

Hao shrugged. "You were lagging behind. Oh, and you were talking to Anna."

Yoh rolled his eyes. "Why does everyone like to bring her up when we're talking about me? I don't like her, alright?"

"I never said that you did," Hao retorted. "But I heard Lyserg did."

"Yeah…" Yoh took a breath. "I was meaning to talk about that, Hao…"

"Yoh, I'm not going to wait any longer to say this, but…" Hao paused for effect and waited until he had Yoh's full attention. "I'm thinking of breaking up with Lyserg."

"What?!" Yoh nearly did a double take. "Why would you do that?"

Hao looked surprised at this reaction. "What do you mean?"

"He…he likes you, Hao! Why would you do that?"

Hao stared at him. "I'm bored of him."

Yoh looked angry. Hao nearly backed off himself. "You're bored with him? And that's the reason you want to break up with him? That's a horrible thing to do!"

"Why would you be so upset?" Hao shouted, in order to be heard. "You like him, so wouldn't this be your big chance to get back together?"

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard! I don't know how Lyserg feels anymore, but he's not interested in me anymore! And in case you haven't noticed, he seems happy going out with you!"

"Well, I'm not anymore," Hao protested. "And why still string someone along if there's nothing left?"

"You just said you were bored! You have to be more considerate than that!"

"More considerate than…say, you?"

Yoh paused in his rant to look at his older brother. "What?"

"You like him, utouto, but you don't do anything about it."

"Yes, I like him, onii-chan, I think we've established that already! I love Lyserg, but if doesn't want to accept that, then I'm okay with that! Today he told me he liked you, and if I know you, I don't think you're just playing with him either."

"So?"

"So?!" Hao noticed Yoh's composure slipping. "If you break up with him, I'm never speaking to you again."

Hao shrugged. "Why are you getting so dramatic?"

"What's this about me? I don't want to see Lyserg get hurt! You can be pretty mean sometimes, Hao, and I just know you're going to say something unforgivable when you're breaking up with him!"

"You don't know me."

Yoh gave up. "Hao, you're impossible!" He turned and stormed down the stairs. After a while, Hao heard the unmistakable slam of the side door.

Hao sighed. "Sorry, utouto," he murmured. "I didn't mean for you to get so angry." He raised his voice. "Lyserg, you can get out of there now. He's outside."

There was a silence before the closet door's knob turned slightly and Lyserg walked out, sheet white and looking close to tears.

"Well, I hope you got what you wanted," Hao sighed. "What you were looking for."

Ren closed his eyes and listened to the wind. The aqua school tie had been loosened around his neck and was lying limply around him. There were faint bird calls and car noises. Lying on his back on the roof of this apartment building, he kind of understood why Horo liked being here. It was calming.

There was a creak behind him and Ren looked up to see everything upside down. Horo was standing at the door to the roof, holding two cans of soda. Thinking back to the Coke incident, Ren sat up.

"Catch." Horo threw one can to Ren, who caught it with one hand. Setting it down to settle so it wouldn't get all over himself, Ren watched Horo as he walked over to him and sat down next to him. He'd never hung out with Horo alone much. It almost always included the others, and if not everyone else, at least Yoh. After all, Horo and Yoh were best friends. He and Horo were friends too…but there was always a feeling of awkwardness between them.

Horo stared out beyond the chain fence that prevented accidental falls and intentional suicides. There were other apartments here; it was an apartment complex that shared one huge courtyard with various trees and picnic benches. It was a peaceful place – traffic seemed slower here and the sunset was amazing.

Of course he'd notice it. He was a rabid tree hugger. He wasn't sure when he had started being so green, but he figured it probably had to do with after he watched An Inconvenient Truth. Probably after five times, you'd think the message would sink in.

"I can't believe you actually want to hang out with me alone," Horo started, breaking the silence. "I mean, I thought you'd be terrified, me being a sex addict and everything."

"I think I can handle your addiction for the time being," Ren said, rolling his eyes.

There was a pause. "See, that's why I didn't want to tell you anything."

Ren opened his Coke. "What do you mean?"

"You're being nice to me."

"Me, being nice to you?" Ren scoffed. "You wish."

"Yeah, I wish. But I mean you're being all nice to me…relatively," added Horo, "because there's a chance I'm leaving."

"I don't care."

"You say that, but you really do." Horo leaned back. "You never show your feelings, so when you do, it's kind of obvious."

"I didn't know I was being obvious," Ren said.

"You are. Well…not really, I mean, I don't think they'd notice…but I do."

"Oh, yes, of course, you can read me better than anyone else," Ren said sarcastically.

Horo sighed. "Well, if you don't want to listen…"

Ren fell silent.

"See, you're being nice again."

"Do you want me to be mean?" Ren asked, turning to the blued haired boy. "You're a masochist, is that it?"

"No, but when you're mean, it feels like everything's…you know…normal. Yeah, I know you still hate that word, but that's the only word to use. I don't know what happened, but it's like something's made everything…not normal."

"Abnormal."

"Whatever. The love triangle's been at each other for like, months. You're changing. Only Choco seems usual these days."

"Choco always stays the same," Ren said, rolling his eyes. "A choco full of bad jokes."

Horo laughed and Ren was reminded of how he liked hearing that laugh, even though it was loud and overwhelming.

"I'm really going to miss things like this," Horo sighed, lying down and using his arms as a pillow.

"You always talk as if you're really moving," Ren said, looking down at him. "You said your mom hadn't made up her mind yet."

"Well, she's gone over to Japan, which is why she's not here right now. Does that explain anything?"

"There was something I was wondering."

"Hmm?" Horo closed his eyes.

"Whenever we hang out…" Ren wasn't sure how to phrase this question. It sounded so awkward when he went over it in his head. "...there are always times when you could come on to me, but you never do it. Why's that?"

Horo opened his eyes again. "I thought it would be obvious," he said, looking surprised. "It would make you uncomfortable, so I don't do it."

"Ah." Ren settled himself down next to Horo, close enough to be 'more than just friends', but far enough without being obvious. Just as he was getting comfortable, Horo sat up with the speed of a gun.

"Are you…" Horo trailed off, looking down at Ren, who was looking at him with a bored expression. No doubt he saw excitement in the sky blue eyes. "Ren…hey…can I…you know…"

"Do what?" Ren asked. He may have been considerably nicer to Horo (this is NOT a confession!), but he still liked torturing the Usui as much as possible.

"Can I…" Horo's face flushed but the anticipation was still there. "Can I…kiss you?"

Ren stared back at him with a blank expression, but there was no sign of disapproval so Horo shrugged and went for it. He leaned down slowly, brushing Ren's still lips with his own, expecting the Tao to pull away, but when no such thing happened, he decided to deepen it. Slowly…gently…so Ren would find no reason to feel uncomfortable.

Ren was surprised at how gentle Horo could be. He paused as he felt Horo hesitantly lick his bottom lip, shyly requesting entrance into his mouth. Whoa…Ren hadn't been expecting his first kiss to be open mouth. But hell, while he was at it, why not. He felt Horo pull back slightly but when the other realized it was permitted, the kiss became longer, more passionate.

As Horo pulled away, Ren still felt drawn to the Usui and sat up. Horo was looking at the ground, trying to hide his triumph. "Thank you," he mumbled quietly.

"Why are you thanking me?" Ren asked, trying to seek those blue eyes.

"I don't know. I guess…" Horo looked up and locked eyes with Ren. "I guess I just never thought I'd ever be able to do that."

Ren stared at him. "I mean…I guess what I'm trying to say is…I never thought you'd…" Horo looked down again.

"Be interested in you?"

"Yeah." Horo looked up. "You are, right?"

Ren turned red. "Uh…"

"You don't have to answer right now," Horo said hurriedly. "I mean, I understand if you don't or anything…we can still be friends."

"Um, right." Ren turned away, unsure of what to say now. How did he feel anyway? He didn't know anymore.

Lyserg sat on the shrink's couch, cross-legged, trying to do his homework. He didn't feel like going home today…actually, no scratch that, he didn't want to walk home with the Asakuras today. So he made an excuse that he wanted to stay back and study, but when he went to the library, it was crowded with noisy students. So he went to the only place where there was sure to be peace and quiet.

Marco's office.

There had been 'stress management sessions', but no one had went to them. Thus, Marco sat by himself, sulking in his office. Lyserg felt bad for him and decided to keep him company.

"Are you ready for the SATs?" Marco asked, writing something at his desk.

"Yeah, I think so." Lyserg flipped to the back of his textbook to check his answers.

There was another silence. "Mr. Diethyl, I've noticed something."

"Hmm?" Lyserg didn't look up.

"It's about Mr. Asakura."

"Oh, him. Hao's going to get in trouble for PDA, isn't he? Sorry, I'll tell him to stop."

"Not Hao. I meant Yoh."

Lyserg stopped. "What about Yoh?"

"You two. Didn't you two used to be a couple?"

"Yes…" Lyserg wasn't sure where this conversation was going. "But we broke up two months ago."

"May I ask why? I heard it was sudden and unexplained. I thought you two were happy." Marco's face seemed to brighten talking about someone's love life. His was kind of non-existent, with Jeanne holding off the marriage until a later date.

"We were…"

"Then what happened?"

Lyserg looked up. A flicker of doubt flittered through his eyes. "Well…"

"This is a strict student-teacher conversation. What's said in this room stays in this room."

Lyserg still looked doubtful, but continued. "He…Yoh, I mean…said something he shouldn't have."

"Was it vulgar or mean?"

"No, nothing like that! Yoh's not like that…" Lyserg shook his head.

"Did it make you uncomfortable?"

Lyserg nodded.

"Why didn't you tell him?"

"Because he meant it. I didn't want to tell him not to say it again, because I do want to hear him say it again…" Lyserg stopped, a blush creeping across his face.

"What did he say?"

Lyserg remained silent.

"Those three words, right?"

Still mute, Lyserg nodded. "I mean, I feel the same way but…" Suddenly Lyserg looked up, suspicious. "Did someone come and tell you about this?"

"No, why would you think so?"

But the suspicion was already there, and under its blanket, Lyserg refused to say anything else. "I think it's time for me go, sorry. I'll see you later." Lyserg quickly gathered his belongings and headed for the door.

"Good luck with the SATs," Marco said helpfully.

"Thanks…" Lyserg paused as he reached for the doorknob. "And I think you should talk with Jeanne if you ever want to get married." Without another word, he left the office.

Marco turned back to the sheets he was filling out. After a few minutes the door creaked open again. The counselor looked up and nodded. "Thank you for telling me."

"No problem. Was he okay?"

"Just a little confused, I think. Nothing time won't fix. You say Mr. Asakura still feels the same way?"

"Yoh? Yeah, of course he does."

"Then it should all blow over soon." Marco looked back down at his papers. "In fact, it may be over sooner than we think, if they're really working together for English."

"You think so?"

"Yes." Marco looked up again. "Why would you tell me this for?"

"Because Lyserg listens to you. None of us are getting through to him or Yoh, and it's…" Pause. "It's sad watching them hurt like this."

"They didn't seem like they had a problem. How did you know?"

"Call it a sixth sense." Choco grinned. "Anyway, thanks a lot, Marco."

He couldn't believe it. Someone had to have tipped Marco off. Lyserg hurried through the hallways. Or maybe he was just being obvious? Did everyone know? How embarrassing…not only was his mother writing about his lovelife, but apparently everyone at school knew too!

Still preoccupied, he turned the corner and ran into someone. "Sorry," he mumbled as he backed away and realized it was Yoh. Feeling a blush creep on his face again, Lyserg's eyes instantly darted to the ground. "What are you still doing here?"

"I was looking for you." Yoh sounded surprised. "We still have to work on the English assignment, remember?"

"Oh…yeah, I forgot…" Lyserg looked up slowly, but Yoh had an understanding look on his face. "Well, we should actually get started on it, hmm? Your house or mine?"

"I don't care," Lyserg muttered. Both options had their drawbacks. At Yoh's house, there would be a lot more people: Yoh's mother who seemed almost obsessed with their relationship, not to mention Hao. Damn, Hao would make everything harder. At his house, his parents were probably gone, his father always on duty these days and his mother at her editor's house. But at his house, more awkward moments like Saturday had a bigger chance of happening, with no supervision and all.

"Okay…" Yoh paused and watched Lyserg, and together, seemed to come to the same conclusion at the same time. "My house it is."

Hao whined, pawing on the door. "Utouto, let me in."

"No. Go away."

"I am NOT going to do anything bad," Hao continued, crossing his fingers.

"Uncross your fingers, onii-chan."

"Aw, how did you know?" Hao whined some more before giving up and sulking downstairs.

Yoh let out a breath of relief. He had locked the bedroom door from Hao, and yes, even though Lyserg seemed more awkward around him now, at least Hao wouldn't be an issue. Or his mother. No, his mother would find something to tease him about. "So, what should we write about?" Yoh asked, changing the subject. He turned on his desktop, which he discovered he had after throwing most of the clothes off the desk. The monitor flashed on.

"I don't know." Lyserg was sitting on his bed, a safe six feet away from him.

"That's a problem…especially since it's due next Monday…"

There was a silence as Yoh waited for the computer to load up. "I do have something…if we don't have anything left…"

Yoh turned in the swirly seat and Lyserg suddenly looked like he was on the hot seat. "Go ahead."

"Um…my…my mother wrote something new," Lyserg said slowly, suddenly immensely interested in the little patch of carpet buried under layers of clothes on the floor. "It was a new novel, but it hasn't been published yet…but we can make it a little remix and no one would know…"

"What's it about?" Yoh turned and clicked on a Word document.

There was an embarrassed silence, before, "Us…"

"Us?" Yoh turned again. "Your mother wrote a novel about us?"

Lyserg nodded, still staring at the patch of carpet.

"What…about us?"

"The…breakup…"

Yoh felt a blush grow on his face. "Oh."

"I didn't tell her anything about us, I swear! I don't know how she decided to write about this but she didn't tell me about it until a few days ago!" Lyserg cried, looking up at Yoh. "Please don't be mad or anything…I didn't tell her anything…"

"I'm not mad," Yoh said, turning away. "It's just…I can't believe it…"

"She didn't use our names," Lyserg said, his voice loosing volume. "It's a completely different circumstance but a lot of details are similar…the ending's still up in the air because…"

"Because?" Yoh prompted, still staring at the blank monitor.

"Because…she…she doesn't know why we broke up."

I don't know either. "Well, we can probably muddle our way through that," Yoh said quickly. "It's technically our story, so we should be able to write about it. It hasn't been published so no one knows about it, and if we tweak it a bit…"

"It was just a suggestion," Lyserg said quietly, as if Yoh had rejected it.

"Why don't you come over here and help me write it?" Yoh suggested, but quickly backtracked. "Um, unless you don't want to, then you can just stay there…"

"No, I can come over there…" Lyserg walked over to Yoh, who scooted over to make room for him. The desk chair was a bit like a piano bench, because as Keiko put it, "You and Hao can go do…whatever you want on your computer together!"

Only their mother would encourage them to see porn. But maybe because she knew they both weren't into things like that: Yoh obviously was the goodie-two-shoes and Hao…well, Hao always said he was going to do bad things, but didn't actually do them.

Bad things in the sense of morally wrong.

And morally wrong really depends on what you consider is 'morally wrong'.

Hao didn't actually want to kill anyone, for example.

But he was okay with running around school with a sign around his neck reading 'I'm skipping school'.

Silva was steadily buying hair dye.

"So…what should we call this?"

"Our story?" Lyserg suggested, just to break the silence and was surprised to see Yoh actually type it in. "It's just the title," Yoh explained. "Chloe wouldn't know it was really us. I mean, a lot of plays actually use weird names, so ours should be okay.

"Besides, it's the characters' stories, technically. Not ours."

Lyserg nodded slowly.

"So what were the people's names?"

"L-Leif…Angel…and…"

"There's more than two characters?" Yoh asked, surprised as he typed in the names of the characters.

"Yeah…those were 'our' names. Then there's Duke…"

"Hao?"

"Mm-hmm…" Lyserg stared at the computer screen, where the words were appearing. "Those were the major characters. There were parts where Angel was talking to her mother or other friends…"

"It was from Angel's point of view?"

"It changed."

"Ah." Lyserg wondered how on earth did talking suddenly seem to bring them closer. Yoh's shoulder was gently bumping against his as the other typed, but Yoh seemed too preoccupied to notice. A voice in the back of his head told him to shift to the side, but Lyserg ignored it. It felt good to be this close to Yoh again.

"So how did it begin?" Yoh asked.

"Um…" Lyserg looked away before restarting. "In…in bed…"

"Whoa!" Yoh laughed, typing in Act 1, Scene 1. "Your mom knows he haven't done it yet, right?" Suddenly seeing the error of his words, Yoh stopped laughing. "I mean, we didn't do it…" Feeling defeated, Yoh let his right hand drop to the seat as he leaned back to think. Without consciously realizing it, Yoh's hand searched out Lyserg's and gripped it. Lyserg looked down at it and looked away, but didn't pull back. Already, the familiar warmth he got whenever he was in contact with Yoh was already seeping through his body, like the warmth that engulfs you once you step inside after just standing the cold.

"Lyserg," Yoh said softly, suddenly feeling vulnerable. "I miss you."

Lyserg didn't say anything.

"You're…you're right here, but I feel like I've lost you or something…it's hard to explain." Yoh sighed let go of Lyserg's hand. "But you probably don't care, since you and Hao are…kinda…"

"We broke up."

Yoh turned to Lyserg. "What?"

"Hao. We broke up." Lyserg stared at the desk as if something interesting was on it, just Yoh's black hoodie and one of Hao's shiny belts.

"Augh…" Yoh let out a sigh of frustration as he ran one hand through his hair. "I told him…he shouldn't have done that, I'm sorry…"

"No, I broke up with him." Lyserg knew Yoh was looking at him again but didn't turn. "I ended things between us…it was over for a few weeks already…I'm sorry, I should have told you but I…"

Yoh was quiet.

"I'm sorry, Yoh, I should have told you…I know I should have…"

"Then it's okay to do this?" Lyserg turned and Yoh leaned forward, gently pressing his lips against Lyserg's. The greenette's mouth had been slightly open in shock in the first place so Yoh easily slid his tongue in the other's mouth, slowly exploring each corner. The younger twin felt Lyserg timidly respond before suddenly pushing him away. Yoh backed off, staring at Lyserg, who had turned away with a hand over his mouth, like a shield against him.

"Too soon…" Yoh murmured. "Or maybe you don't want…sorry, Lyserg. I didn't mean to come on to you like that."

"No…it's…why don't we just finish this thing?" Lyserg mumbled.

"Yeah."

Tobecontinued…

Note: Wow. Wow. This chapter knocked a lot of things out of the water. A lot. Well, maybe not as much as I say, but by now, you should know we're nearing the turning point of the whole shebob and the end of the story. Fate works itself out in mysterious ways, dear reader. Please leave your review at the sound of the tone. TONE!