Chapter 10. „I need you"
Jigsaw looked at Adam thoroughly. He didn't take his bright eyes off of him. "You'll have to talk to me about it, Adam. Whether now or later doesn't matter. But I would prefer to get to know it now." He said quietly. Adam didn't look at him. That man really knew how to interfere into affairs that didn't concern him at all.
"I don't want to," he said quickly.
Jigsaw sighed. And again the young man acted like a little boy. Stubborn and uncooperative. He leant a little closer to him. "Tell me. Just do it."
Adam still didn't look at him. He looked aside, not willing to say a word. Jigsaw expression didn't change as well. "Tell me."
The younger one still didn't deign to look at him. "Fuck you!" was his only answer.
Jigsaw had never looked more serious. He wanted an answer. And Christ, he would get it. How to manipulate people mentally, making them act was a thing he could do best. "Look at me."
But he didn't. He didn't look at him at all, he just kept staring away. And he didn't respond.
John was actually a person of great patience. But it was different this time. That unworldly, snot-nosed guy would answer, even if he had to force him!
"LOOK AT ME!" he yelled angrily.
Adam winced, his face turned to him at once, he was looking directly into his tormentor's eyes now. But he didn't deny that he was indeed upset. It was nobody's business what he was dreaming and thinking. "Fuck, what the hell do you want from me!" he hissed angrily.
As if nothing had happened, John looked all relaxed and calm again. There it was again, that lifeless mask, which was supposed to be his face. That emotionless mask that scared Adam to death, not letting him sleep at night. To his surprise, John got up suddenly. He went behind him, and what happened after let Adam's blood freeze. He untied him, his wrists were free now.
When he sat down in front of him again, Adam stared at him unbelievingly, rubbing his aching, sore wrists. "I want you to tell me about your dream, Adam. And about Dr. Gordon. You'll spare yourself a lot of trouble if you do it this instant."
Again he got up, opened a drawer and took out something small. A packet of cigarettes. He held it right in front of his face. "Want one?" he offered.
Adam looked at him suspiciously. He blinked at the cigarettes, then back at him. A suspicious, piercing look on his face. He looked at the older one as if he had just offered poison to him. "I don't smoke," he murmured insecurely.
He earned a grin from Jigsaw. And it was the first time for him seeing him grin as well. A grin that lifted his wrinkles, exposing his discolored teeth. A grin that looked right through him and made a shiver run down his spine. "Of course," he said quietly. "You don't smoke. I don't believe you, Adam."
Adam swallowed. He was about to say something in order to defend himself when John sat down again, looking him in the eyes. "Back to your dream. Tell me."
He saw how much Adam was hesitating. He blushed, looked away from him, as if he had ordered him to expose his most intimate secret to him.
"You better not laugh," Adam murmured. John nodded knowingly. "Don't worry about that. I'm not that kind of man, you should know that by now. Neither will I laugh, nor will I tell anyone about it. It will remain our little secret, Adam."
Adam took a deep breath before he started to tell him. He was ashamed. John could see that. "Well… Lawrence… he…"
John leaned in closer to get a better comprehension of his quiet voice. "Yes?"
Adam blushed out of despair. He looked down at his feet shyly. "Lawrence… he… he's yelled at me. And threatened me. And then… he… he's…"
He didn't go any further. He couldn't tell him. Not him. He was his tormentor. His torturer. His master. Adam went bright red with shame.
But John understood. He knew exactly what he had done. What Adam just couldn't tell him. "You don't have to feel ashamed, Adam. It was just a dream. Dreams are not of importance. Actions are," he said quietly. Now, Adam looked up at him. His cheeks had flushed pinkish, his eyes had watered up. "Why are you doing this? What have I done to you?" he asked helplessly. John leaned back. "That only brings us back to the beginning. I already told you that you have done nothing to me. Only what you have done to others is important."
He got up just to tie him back up to the chair. "I'll leave you alone again. Or is there still something you wanna tell me?"
Adam seriously had to contain himself as not to scream him in the face. That man really knew about everything!
"Yes," he said shortly. "Zep."
John looked at him thoroughly. "What about him?" he asked. Adam looked at the older one as hate-filled as he could manage. "Tell him to leave me alone!"
John nodded sympathetically. "Of course. Rest now, Adam."
Without saying another word to him, he left the room, Adam was all for himself again. And as soon as the door slammed shut, Adam started struggling wildly. He was fed up with it. He didn't want to rest anymore. He didn't want to anymore of the shit John was pulling. He didn't want to see him anymore, just like he was tired of seeing Amanda and Zep.
He wanted to escape. To be free.
But bit by bit, he started to doubt he could ever be free again. It wasn't even about his abduction. He was alone. Always had been. And he would always remain that way.
OooO
The clock had shown 9:00 PM only a few seconds ago when Lawrence lunged right into the foyer of the police office, he ran through the hallway, throbbed his fist on the door leading to Detective Matthews' office. And it opened up quite fast to his surprise.
Detective Matthews was holding the knob in his hand, glaring daggers at Lawrence. "Tell me, you have a screw loose?! My ears work pretty good, you don't have to slam in my door!" he barked, stepping aside for the doctor to enter. "My apologies," Lawrence said shortly, took off his jacket and tossed it carelessly over one of the chairs. He wasn't sorry. On the contrary, he actually thought his behaviour was quite appropriate. Neither Detective Kerry nor Detective Matthews had even lifted a finger to find Adam. And Lawrence belonged to the kind of people who took danger very serious and took action at once.
He looked at the Detective in front of him piercingly. "We can't wait any longer. We have to find Adam as soon as possible!"
Matthews rolled his eyes. "Yeah, sure! And how do you wanna start, Doc? We have no clue, no trace, nothing! You might be shocked, but we policemen are just as human as you are! We're already in progress of doing everything we can!" he hissed at him. "We can't go on if we don't get a trace soon."
Lawrence took a deep breath. "He was at my house last night."
Matthews rolled his eyes once again, looked at him in annoyance. "Who was at your house last night?"
Lawrence wanted to pronounce his name in the most pejorative sound he could manage. He looked at the ground with disgust, remembering his grinning face. "Zep Hindle."
Matthews looked at him out of interest. "Really? And then? Were you able to follow him? Has he given you some kind of hint?"
The doctor sighed and shook his head. "None of these things. He… only asked a few questions…," he murmured. Which led him back to the inevitable subject.
Annoyed by the fact that Lawrence didn't tell him everything, Matthews looked at him thoroughly. "You have to put your cards on the table if we shall continue our work. What kind of questions?"
OooO
Meanwhile, Adam was alone. He had given up struggling once again. He wasn't able to get rid of the bonds. Everything he was able to do in his situation was staring into the darkness of the room, wondering what the future would bring. He sighed. Two days. Several threats. A conversation concerning his feelings. One kiss.
He lowered his head out of exhaustion. He thought about all the things he had done wrong in life, things he should never have done.
He hated himself. His probably worst mistake was not a long time ago. The kiss. Deep inside, he had enjoyed it. He didn't know why. He doubted it really came from Lawrence. He felt like crying. He wasn't good enough for Lawrence.
That doctor, that man was the most courageous man he had ever met in his life. And he deserved the best. He deserved all the beauty and luck in the world. Adam owned nothing he could offer to him. He couldn't even offer something to himself.
At that moment, he paused. He looked up. Breathing felt like the hardest thing to do. He couldn't believe what he was thinking about. He really thought about if he was good enough for Lawrence.
Adam was quite sure he had never felt like this before. It felt strange. Painful. Love. A love he could never reach. It couldn't be like this. Adam had never loved before. Especially not some dumbass doctor!
He looked down at his feet desperately. "Shit…," he murmured helplessly. He couldn't love. It only made him weaker than he was already. Zep would never leave him in peace. Neither him nor Lawrence.
And just at that moment, he entered in, grinning at him amusedly.
Adam rolled his eyes. Speaking of the devil, he thought.
"You're not sleeping as I see," Zep said, sighed. "What a pity. I really would have loved to awaken Sleeping Beauty with a kiss."
Adam was burning inside. He was more than furious now. So Jigsaw hadn't even given any sort of trouble to keep Zep away from him. Adam looked up at him angrily. "What do you want?!" he snapped.
"You're not nice to me, Adam. You really know how to screw up everything. Silly, little Adam…," he started, acting sad. "I only wanted to give you a little present."
Adam looked at him in bewilderment. Bewildered and suspicious at the same time. He didn't trust him. "What do you mean?" he asked cluelessly. But whatever it was – he didn't want it. He looked away from him quickly.
"Oh, nothing special. But I think you will like it," Zep said and approached him.
Adam angrily closed his eyes as not to shout at him. "Jigsaw… John… he said he'll take care of you not coming near me," he said. He tried to make it sound like a warning. But Zep was ready to upset his plans. He leaned over him.
"Don't worry about that, kiddo," he said quietly. "I have John's permission to be here. Yeah, he actually thought my idea was pretty good. And I think you'll like it, too."
Adam went angrier with every passing second. "Tell me what it is already!"
Zep nodded. He rummaged around in his jacket pocket, with Adam keeping an eye on him. What his leather covered hand put outside was a cellphone. Adam blinked. What was that supposed to mean?
But he didn't even need to ask. Zep told him at once what he was thinking of.
"I allow you to make a call, little one. A single call. And your calling partner will be Dr. Gordon. Nobody else."
Adam's eyes went wide. He really thought of the whole thing to be a dream. Zep, the man who was helding him prisoner, who greatly despised Lawrence with a burning passion, allowed Adam to talk to him!
He was just about to take that offer gladly when he suddenly paused. He looked him in the eyes, getting an indefinable grin in return.
"What's wrong, my pussycat? You don't trust me, do you?" Zep asked. He acted that innocent, his acting wasn't even apparent anymore.
Adam looked at him nervously. Lots of tension that was very close to fear was rising inside of him. "What do you want in return this time?"
Adam was quite sure Zep would demand sex in return this time. But to his surprise, he didn't. On the contrary.
Zep playfully nudged the tip of his nose with Adam's. "No return service this time, little one," he nearly whispered. "All I want is to see you happy. I know how much you miss your doctor… there you go, you'll get him."
He came closer. Their lips almost touched when Adam yanked his head away in time. "Thanks," he murmured, only watching Zep dialing a phone number.
OooO
"This is not getting us any further!" Detective Matthews groaned in annoyance. He looked at Lawrence in disbelief. "That man could've asked you everything! He could've demanded everything! And now you're telling me he asked nothing but that?!"
Lawrence had told him about his 'conversation' with Zep. Although he knew for this unpleasant reaction to come, he had told him everything. Everything – except for the fact that he wanted to save Adam no matter what the cost. Everything except for his feelings for him.
Matthews rubbed his temples out of tension. He raised his arms just to let them fall back on his hips, he even laughed out of helplessness. "You really are brilliant. You could've gotten information out of him. Curse this, you could've given the alarm! That prick could now, at the very moment, sit in a dirty, stinking of shit cell to await the day of his punishment!" he bellowed, but Lawrence didn't hear the rest. In fact, what he heard was the ringtone of his cellphone.
He sighed in annoyance. "Excuse me for a moment. That might be my ex wife. It's Saturday again," he said shortly, rummaging around in his jacket pocket. Detective Matthews shook his head, turned his back to him.
Lawrence pushed the green button and held the phone to his ear. "Hello?"
No answer. Nothing. Except for a heavy breathing.
Lawrence looked at Detective Matthews in bewilderment who lifted an eyebrow.
"Ali?" Lawrence asked in confusion. Again, nothing. But then he heard something. Whimpering. The whimpering of a man. It was quiet.
"Good morning there, Dr. Gordon," it came from the other side. Lawrences eyes widened. Anger rose inside of him, his eyebrows pulled together. "Zep!" he growled. And now Detective Matthews was at full attention. Without hesitating, Lawrence pushed the loudspeaker button. But before Zep was able to talk again, Lawrence couldn't hold his wrath back any longer.
"What do you want me to do, you bastard! Tell me!" he ordered harshly.
Detective Matthews was gesticulating wildly already, wanting to make him give the phone to him. "Come on, let me talk to that sick fuck!" he hissed, but he want quiet when Zep started talking again.
"There is somebody who's dying to talk to you, Doctor."
"W-what…??" the doctor began, but someone interrupted him.
"Lawrence?" a scared, helpless voice asked. A voice that was uncommonly high for a man. And Lawrence knew that voice. He froze. Just like the Detective next to him did. Lawrence lips quivered, his face turned chalky white. He knew that voice.
"Adam??"
Zep was holding the phone to the tied man's ear for him to speak. And when Adam heard Lawrence's voice, his heart nearly jumped out of his chest. He really was alive!
"Oh god…," Adam whimpered, but he smiled, too. "You're alive!"
Lawrence had to hold his phone with both hands to his ear already, they were shaking all over. "Adam, are you alright? Is everything OK??"
Adam shook his head desperately, although he knew very well Lawrence couldn't see him. "No. Nothing's OK. I'm all alone with those freaks, and I just wanna get away from here…!"
"Adam, do you know where you are?? Tell me!"
"N-no… no, I don't… shit, I don't even know what kind of building that is…"
At that moment, Adam had changed his mind. He wanted Lawrence to come and save him. He wanted him to play the game to help him. He wanted to have him here with him.
He just couldn't help it. A desperate sob escaped his throat. "Lawrence… please, you have to come here… please get me out of here…," he sniffed helplessly. "I need you, OK?"
Lawrence seriously had to contain himself as not to cry, too. He grabbed his phone even tighter. "Listen, I'll get you out of there. Don't worry, you'll be alright. I'll find you, OK?"
Adam nodded slowly. "Don't leave me alone," he whimpered. "I need you, Lawrence!"
But Lawrence didn't get the chance to answer him. Zep had ringed off and divided them with it. Adam only sobbed more, looked down sadly. All he still felt was Zep kiss his hair, leave the room and shut the door. And there he was again, alone. On his own. He sniffed. Lawrence would find him. He would save him. He knew so now.
Lawrence was still holding the cellphone in his shaking hand. Adam was alive. And they had to help him immediately. Without asking for permission, Detective Matthews grabbed the cellphone out of his hand. "We'll try to find out where he called from. In case he calls again, we'll take action," he said while leaving the room, leaving Lawrence back alone in his office.
Lawrence stared into emptiness. He had to step in immediately. Now or never again.
"I'll find you, Adam."
TBC…